The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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GOOD MORNING
I've been dealing with my anger AGAIN!! It "seems" to come out of nowhere, but after I've worked through it and examined what led up to it, I can see the perfect storm of seemingly insignificant events or words from someone that set me up for a simmering slow burn that ends up with me bawling my face off a few days later...only after I've beat myself up in the special way that I tend to do!! Wondering what is WRONG with me...!!
My work begins with asking myself what is underlying my anger, (hurt, helplessness, frustration are at the base of it-anger is a secondary emotion)!! And then I can predict the waterworks A friend once told me that "our tears are like poison leaking out of our eyes"!! I like to think of it as "fluid therapy" Crying is a good thing...I always used to feel ashamed of crying, but now I think of the healing there is in crying.
ANYHOO, after I examine what is hurting me, frustrating me or what am I feeling helpless about, then the anger dissipates and the waterworks begin after I allow myself to feel the hurt, frustration etc. BEFORE I stopped drinking, I would just get angry and drink to stuff (or drink) it down...not realizing my anger is trying to tell me something, I wanted to get rid of it...and drinking worked...temporarily!! (my former "fluid therapy") Not realizing that by "drinking it down" I was actually adding another layer to the many layers of pain that were hardening inside of me. SO that is what is surfacing NOW!! All that anger being released as I deal with the hurt...layer by layer.
THIS too shall pass!!
May everyone have a peaceful AF day 4 -
Its hard work Lorraine isnt it. So many emotions to work through. I know we can all relate. I have my hard days and think well this would have been a drinking day or I'll say to myself well Id start early today if I was still drinking. Its all a work in progress. Ive come out of hiding and Im facing all these emotions without dulling any pain from alcohol and now realize that drinking anything and any amount was leaving me feeling heavy and with overwhelmingly more problems and more wasted time. Have a great day everyone.2
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Hi all! I need to catch up on this thread! I haven’t posted in awhile. All the best to everyone! 💃💃👏👏🤸♀️🤸♀️💕💕
As for me, I am doing considerably much better with my relationship with alcohol. I have not been AF like I was at the beginning of the year; however, I do occasionally have a drink after golf, but I stop. I have had setbacks and I am really starting to understand those and no turn to alcohol. During those times I don’t have a turn off switch with alcohol and nothing good comes from it as we all know.
@RubyRed427 You are awesome! Wonderful advice and input! 💕👏👍
@FeelinFooFoo Awesome change with your relationship with alcohol. 🤗🤸♀️👏
Awesome job to all and your commitments!
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@JenT304 Awesome 👏 job setting your goals and congratulations on your pounds lost!
@Ram1960 Fantastic story! Kudos!
@lorrainequiche59 💕 reading your posts!3 -
@donimfp and @whitpauly Great to see you both so active on this thread! Terrific! 💃🤸♀️👍🤗3
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Morning friends,@FeelingFooFoo you'll get where you feel most comfortable, sometimes this takes a little trial and error to figure out what makes us the happiest, Lorraine, yesterday would have been a drinking day for me in the past! Terrible day at work,my old bartender that I used to see daily came into my shop,no way was I gonna cut her hair so I skipped her, all heck broke loose and she called me "a drunk slut" I haven't been to her bar in at least 7 years so she has no room calling me that now,very frustrating day and I felt terrible cuz my daughter works at the same salon and had old bartenders husband in her chair so we were both getting yelled at,just awful so I left work early and went and watched the grandsons,at least they're nice and put me in a better mood haha,waves to all and wishes for a happy and healthy AF day!8
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@whitpauly, so sorry for that bizarre experience! She sounds like one of those “Here comes crazy. Cross the street!” kind of people. It’s funny how we can all relate to the feeling that “this would have been a drinking day”.3
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@whitpauly OMG what a horrible person you had to deal with! I can't even imagine. Good for you for keeping your composure, I would have knocked her into next week. I'm proud of everyone's milestones and accomplishments this week. My diet went off the rails this weekend but back in the saddle tomorrow! XXOO Jen3
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I've been AF for 35 days now. I'm following the Alcohol Experiment, it was a 30 day challenge but I'm continuing it for as long as I can. I don't drink much socially, but I'd drink a lot of wine at home (mostly weekends). Once I bought a bottle and opened it, I'd usually finish it in one night. Too much wine at one time. Almost like binge drinking.5
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Morning friends,@FeelingFooFoo you'll get where you feel most comfortable, sometimes this takes a little trial and error to figure out what makes us the happiest, Lorraine, yesterday would have been a drinking day for me in the past! Terrible day at work,my old bartender that I used to see daily came into my shop,no way was I gonna cut her hair so I skipped her, all heck broke loose and she called me "a drunk slut" I haven't been to her bar in at least 7 years so she has no room calling me that now,very frustrating day and I felt terrible cuz my daughter works at the same salon and had old bartenders husband in her chair so we were both getting yelled at,just awful so I left work early and went and watched the grandsons,at least they're nice and put me in a better mood haha,waves to all and wishes for a happy and healthy AF day!
How disgusting of these bartenders to behave so poorly. And they are just plain mean!! Probably had hangovers!
I’m very proud of you to skip her- that was a wise decision.
It is very embarrassing to be shamed like that and you did nothing wrong at all. You are a wonderful soul. They are probably jealous because you look refreshed and beautiful without all that alcohol in you. I am stunned at their behavior.
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joanthemom8 wrote: »I've been AF for 35 days now. I'm following the Alcohol Experiment, it was a 30 day challenge but I'm continuing it for as long as I can. I don't drink much socially, but I'd drink a lot of wine at home (mostly weekends). Once I bought a bottle and opened it, I'd usually finish it in one night. Too much wine at one time. Almost like binge drinking.
Great success !! Keep it going- sounds like AF lifestyle is working for you. Xo3 -
Thanks for the feedback you guys,ugh I just second guessed myself all weekend thinking I should have just sucked it up and took her but obviously she don't like me either saying stuff like that sheesh,well the good news is I'll probably never see them again haha @joanthemom8 welcome,I tend to be more of a binge drinker too,which they say is worse! I used to be a daily drinker though so I figure as long as I'm sober more than a drinker I've made progress! I just had a relapse 1 day shy of 4 months sober and looking back that was a dumb choice that I made 2 weeks ago but I made it,moved on,I'm not gonna kick my own *kitten* forever over a dumb spur of the moment decision but it does still suck,was reading an article on Women for Sobriety called "the obstacle course" and it was basically saying that we have to get thru the obstacle course ( which is hard )to get to that great place and why go through most of the course only to stop and turn back midway? Made alot of sense to me,anyhoo waves to all and wishes for a fantastic AF day for us all!🌺6
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@Whitpauly You are a very kind person with a great sense of humor and you seem to continue to find the positive in a not so positive situation. That bartender obviously has some issues she hasn't dealt with and it has NOTHING to do with you at all....a therapist once told me that, "Other people's reactions says more about THEM than it does about YOU." AND whether that person doesn't like you or not, they likely don't like themselves and that is why she targetted you!! Cause you are a sweet person and she's a bully!! Glad you've moved on!!5
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Our local columnist posted a whole article about the Sober Curious movement. I saw it on my Facebook page. It was interesting to read all the comments. It was about kicking off Dry July.
I’m heading on vacation with the family (first trip without ex husband). I’m going with my parents, my sister and family and my own two kids. It won’t be a temptation at all to drink. My sister is sober and my parents drink a glass of wine at dinner. The old me used to spend evenings at the bar chatting and having drinks at this resort. But happily for the last two years including this year, I’ll be reading, horseback riding, exercising, etc. You get a lot done when you’re sober! Have a great week!8 -
Have a great trip RubyRed! Waves to all and hope we all have an easy AF day! 5
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I am back. I gave up on being sober but I know I am better off without alcohol. My life feels empty and alcohol fills the void. I have a job I like, kids I love but sometimes they are with their dad or friends and I am lonely. I can’t seem to date. I am an introvert who really has a hard time connecting with others. I appreciate everyone sharing their struggles here and I should stick around. I have only been sober since Saturday this time around. My son made a comment about my wine on Friday night and I felt ashamed. I know it is just numbing the pain and causing me to stay where I am but I really do not see a way out anymore. Taking it one day at a time. I do have better workouts when sober and my general mood is better. Yesterday morning I went for a run and as I was driving into work I was like wow I am in a good mood. I need to remember that. Someone on here always said to be kind to your tomorrow self.10
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I have a big problem with wine- I have developed a very bad habit of drinking it every night. I'm not drinking today, and I've made a commitment to myself not to drink one day a week. When I accomplish that for a few weeks, I'll increase it to 2 days. That may not seem like a lot to some, or enough, but I've developed this addiction over decades, so for me it's a challenge. Wish me luck.10
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lauragreenbaum wrote: »I have a big problem with wine- I have developed a very bad habit of drinking it every night. I'm not drinking today, and I've made a commitment to myself not to drink one day a week. When I accomplish that for a few weeks, I'll increase it to 2 days. That may not seem like a lot to some, or enough, but I've developed this addiction over decades, so for me it's a challenge. Wish me luck.
I had a problem with wine....one glass was never enough and would finish a bottle while cooking, dinner after... Almost a few decade habit. I feel so much better breaking the habit!! Wishing you support!!!
For me, I felt the most benefit of giving up wine back in January. It helped me to see within four to five days how much better I felt, was thinking clearer, working out stronger and finally sleeping better. After, 21 days, wow and then 31. I still do drink now occasionally and have had set backs, however, I have a different relationship with alcohol now. I also know myself and can easily slide back if I don’t stay on top of it.
All the best! This is an awesome group!7 -
trishfit2014 wrote: »I am back. I gave up on being sober but I know I am better off without alcohol. My life feels empty and alcohol fills the void. I have a job I like, kids I love but sometimes they are with their dad or friends and I am lonely. I can’t seem to date. I am an introvert who really has a hard time connecting with others. I appreciate everyone sharing their struggles here and I should stick around. I have only been sober since Saturday this time around. My son made a comment about my wine on Friday night and I felt ashamed. I know it is just numbing the pain and causing me to stay where I am but I really do not see a way out anymore. Taking it one day at a time. I do have better workouts when sober and my general mood is better. Yesterday morning I went for a run and as I was driving into work I was like wow I am in a good mood. I need to remember that. Someone on here always said to be kind to your tomorrow self.
Yes, I love that, be kind to yourself. ❤️❤️❤️ You have experienced the positives of not drinking and you have support!5 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Our local columnist posted a whole article about the Sober Curious movement. I saw it on my Facebook page. It was interesting to read all the comments. It was about kicking off Dry July.
I’m heading on vacation with the family (first trip without ex husband). I’m going with my parents, my sister and family and my own two kids. It won’t be a temptation at all to drink. My sister is sober and my parents drink a glass of wine at dinner. The old me used to spend evenings at the bar chatting and having drinks at this resort. But happily for the last two years including this year, I’ll be reading, horseback riding, exercising, etc. You get a lot done when you’re sober! Have a great week!
Fun!!! Have a blast lady! 🐎 🐴 🥾❤️❤️❤️👏🔥👍2
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