Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
@RubyRed427, I get the resentment about missing out. As much as I am loving my sobriety and don't intend ever to give it up (Today is day 96, so I know I'm just a baby at this game), I don't care what Kate Bee or anybody says . . . an ice cold dry martini can taste mighty wonderful. Thus my fantasy of a once-a-year martini day. But keeping a daily journal really helps with that. Just last night I went back and re-read the whole darned thing starting June 15. There are enough entries about my motivations not to drink and how good I feel not drinking and how bad I felt drinking to more than balance out the "I wish I could have a martini" entries. For me, I'm finding that really yummy alcohol-free substitutes make a big difference.
Oh, my journal also has plenty of entries about the 2020 political and racial upheaval and the pandemic. I'm wondering if my grandchildren will read it as a matter of historical interest in addition to an account of a journey into sobriety. More likely I'll burn it at some point.
I agree- a nice cold martini used to be my refuge and friend. Then, one starting to turn to 3 in a sitting. It was never enough; but I sure did enjoy that first sip!!!!
Look how amazing you are to have started AF living during covid. I think we deserve an extra gold star!
As for your journal of the 2020 political and racial upheaval PLUS the pandemic, there will hopefully be a happy ended for your grandchildren to see. I pray!
I have been taking long facebook breaks. I hate seeing certain posts and they make me boil. I have been on Twitter more and more; Twitter makes me laugh- people have pretty clever tweets. Pence's fly has 40,000 followers and it's pretty funny.
I heard a good quote: "I want to live one day at a time; then die one day at a time."
Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I have noticed a deep decline in my anxiety these past five weeks. I have not needed to take my emergency Lorizepam at all. When I used to drink, the next day I would have to take one anti nausea pill and a half of a Lorizepam to cope with the anxious feelings.
Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I am waiting for this, too. I still cannot shake the craving for the vodka cranberry that I saw the man drinking 2 weeks ago. I am so glad there is no cranberry in this house, bc my husband has vodka. I am not interested in anything else, thank GOD!!! However, I did take a long sniff of my SIL's jack and coke last week... My daughter was like "what the heck are you doing" I replied "smelling... just smelling it" This reminds me that I am not yet in control!
Today is day 224. I agree with you that we all deserve a gold star for becoming AF in 2020 -- all inclusive, not just COVID.
Big hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!
Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I am waiting for this, too. I still cannot shake the craving for the vodka cranberry that I saw the man drinking 2 weeks ago. I am so glad there is no cranberry in this house, bc my husband has vodka. I am not interested in anything else, thank GOD!!! However, I did take a long sniff of my SIL's jack and coke last week... My daughter was like "what the heck are you doing" I replied "smelling... just smelling it" This reminds me that I am not yet in control!
Today is day 224. I agree with you that we all deserve a gold star for becoming AF in 2020 -- all inclusive, not just COVID.
Big hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!
I think that's a good strategy; don't keep the triggers/drinks you love in the house. I had to buy a bottle of wine yesterday to take to a party for the host today. It is sitting in my trunk of my car; I actually forgot about it til now.
Nothing wrong with smelling the drink. That made me smile. But the good thing is you didn't drink it. Keep on going! Let's see how long we can go.
I am going to a football outdoor party later. I am armed with a big bottle of Perrier and one bottle of 00 Heineken (no alcohol) just in case I have a hankering for a beer. I know some may say this is a slippery slope but for me it works. It does not trigger me. We all do what's best for us.
Good AF substitutes, including AF versions of alcoholic drinks, are a favorite topic on the Sober School forum. I love having the option of AF beer and the AF stout that I think tastes just like Guinness. I may be wrong but I think AA frowns on these. For me, they have been a positive and fun support.
I’m rereading Clare Pooley’s Sober Diaries now that I can relate more to her first hundred days. She relied on Beck’s Blue, which is my favorite too.
@donimfp ~ AA only has a 10% success rate...most people stop drinking on their own or with other methods so if AF subs work for you & don't trigger you, "You GO girl!!" It's all individual...no one-way fits all
@RubyRed427 I love your post about anxiety...it is so true that whatever feelings we are trying to temporarily escape through alcohol will come back to bite us in the butt and bring some other friends in for the party eg depression. I'm glad that you are noticing the decline in your anxiety...that is another huge benefit.
Sounds like everyone is doing great. We have a long weekend here in Canada...Thanksgiving! So I have 2 days mostly off, I had a lovely solitary day off today and have one wee one-hour job tomorrow and then a walk in the park with my senior puppy. and whatever else the day holds.
I am very socially awkward, so I used alcohol as a way to loosen up. Became a big binge drinker, parties every weekend. I got fat and miserable. Finally decided I'm done with that life. Alcohol free since labor day.
In the past when I lost weight my alcohol consumption went right up, I even took up smoking. I've got a really addictive personality and while food is normally my crutch it will just switch to other vices. I did Dry January this year to support my husband who was doing it and then I just stuck with it. I'm happy about that now as I've finally decided to really try and shift the weight and I won't have this looming over me.
All that said, 2020 was a *kitten* of a year to have given up drinking.
Welcome to the new faces! We are glad you are with us on this journey. RubyRed, I totally agree about the anxiety. That drink is SO not worth what is sure to follow! Weird trigger that has never happened to me' before: I was taking a walk and passed a neighbors recycling bin with a wine bottle in it. You would think, surrounded by trash, that this would have disgusted me. Instead it make me want some wine! I pushed through it though.
I'm on the fence about the NA beer. Last time I quit drinking, then started again, it DID start with some NA beer. So, I am being cautious about that. I just have such an addictive personality. BUT obviously it is far better than the real thing, for us anyway.
My husband has been watching the Supreme Court stuff... he called me today and said “in Judge Barrett’s interview today she said that she went home last night and had a glass of wine. If she can have a glass of wine, I think you can, too.”
I replied “maybe she doesn’t have an issue with wine like I do. I’ll pass”
Hi! Interesting story @Beka3695 - I wonder why your husband said that? Does he miss you as a drinking partner? I do like your response though
In my school district, a nice, quiet maintenance man just died of alcoholism. I was so surprised to hear that. My friend said he had liver damage and was an alcoholic. I didn't know him well at all, but I always felt he was a good soul, nice blue eyes and always a smile. Who would have known his pain or the addiction that gripped him? He was well liked and had a family. They must be suffering too. What a sad story.
I'm doing ok. It is getting a little bit easier to not drink. Now, I have a personal goal.. Make it to two months and get that damn coin. After a few weeks, I now am fearful to drink because I don't want to start counting again.
My sugar cravings are terrible though. So, tonight I am just skipping dinner and snacks to try to reset the body. I had a good hard workout tonight which usually makes me nauseous afterwards and not hungry anyway. I know you're supposed to refuel after a workout but I think I'll just eat a good breakfast.
Happy 100!! @donimfp. I am at day 39. I'm so proud of you!
In the past when I lost weight my alcohol consumption went right up, I even took up smoking. I've got a really addictive personality and while food is normally my crutch it will just switch to other vices. I did Dry January this year to support my husband who was doing it and then I just stuck with it. I'm happy about that now as I've finally decided to really try and shift the weight and I won't have this looming over me.
All that said, 2020 was a *kitten* of a year to have given up drinking.
It is a tough year to give up drinking but I think our anxiety would be through the roof if we had alcohol in our system. At least mine would be. Did your husband stick with it too?
I am very socially awkward, so I used alcohol as a way to loosen up. Became a big binge drinker, parties every weekend. I got fat and miserable. Finally decided I'm done with that life. Alcohol free since labor day.
Awesome post! Very inspiring. Happy to see you are doing well and taking charge of your life.
Just popping in to say hi. Bought a bottle of wine this weekend. I was trying to replicate a meal. It was the largest wine bottle in the whole section but the only one I could find of that brand. It was like an elephant in the room. I only needed a cup. I wondered what just a sip would do to my progress. It was such an overwhelming thought. I couldn't even take a sip. And thats just the way it is. Crazy. @Beka3695 it sounds like hes looking for justification? You just keep doing you.
I'm wondering about that quote. I'm not sure what it means. Sometimes I miss what alcohol gave me, like a buzz, oblivion, an escape. I guess I could characterize that as "grieving" for what I can't have any more. But as far as grieving my old "self" . . . I'm not sure I understand that. My non-drinking self is better in every way from my drinking self. I can't grieve the loss of the old insecure, anxious, nauseated, depressed me. I understand more grieving the loss of that old lying, false "friend," alcohol.
I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to be argumentative. I'm not. I just so do not miss the old "me" that it's hard for me to understand the idea of grieving for that old "self." She was in every way inferior to who I am now. (I think! I could be wrong . . . maybe someone will enlighten me).
Replies
I agree- a nice cold martini used to be my refuge and friend. Then, one starting to turn to 3 in a sitting. It was never enough; but I sure did enjoy that first sip!!!!
Look how amazing you are to have started AF living during covid. I think we deserve an extra gold star!
As for your journal of the 2020 political and racial upheaval PLUS the pandemic, there will hopefully be a happy ended for your grandchildren to see. I pray!
I have been taking long facebook breaks. I hate seeing certain posts and they make me boil. I have been on Twitter more and more; Twitter makes me laugh- people have pretty clever tweets. Pence's fly has 40,000 followers and it's pretty funny.
I heard a good quote: "I want to live one day at a time; then die one day at a time."
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I am waiting for this, too. I still cannot shake the craving for the vodka cranberry that I saw the man drinking 2 weeks ago. I am so glad there is no cranberry in this house, bc my husband has vodka. I am not interested in anything else, thank GOD!!! However, I did take a long sniff of my SIL's jack and coke last week... My daughter was like "what the heck are you doing" I replied "smelling... just smelling it" This reminds me that I am not yet in control!
Today is day 224. I agree with you that we all deserve a gold star for becoming AF in 2020 -- all inclusive, not just COVID.
Big hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!
I think that's a good strategy; don't keep the triggers/drinks you love in the house. I had to buy a bottle of wine yesterday to take to a party for the host today. It is sitting in my trunk of my car; I actually forgot about it til now.
Nothing wrong with smelling the drink. That made me smile. But the good thing is you didn't drink it. Keep on going! Let's see how long we can go.
I am going to a football outdoor party later. I am armed with a big bottle of Perrier and one bottle of 00 Heineken (no alcohol) just in case I have a hankering for a beer. I know some may say this is a slippery slope but for me it works. It does not trigger me. We all do what's best for us.
I’m rereading Clare Pooley’s Sober Diaries now that I can relate more to her first hundred days. She relied on Beck’s Blue, which is my favorite too.
@RubyRed427 I love your post about anxiety...it is so true that whatever feelings we are trying to temporarily escape through alcohol will come back to bite us in the butt and bring some other friends in for the party eg depression. I'm glad that you are noticing the decline in your anxiety...that is another huge benefit.
Sounds like everyone is doing great. We have a long weekend here in Canada...Thanksgiving! So I have 2 days mostly off, I had a lovely solitary day off today and have one wee one-hour job tomorrow and then a walk in the park with my senior puppy. and whatever else the day holds.
All that said, 2020 was a *kitten* of a year to have given up drinking.
I'm on the fence about the NA beer. Last time I quit drinking, then started again, it DID start with some NA beer. So, I am being cautious about that. I just have such an addictive personality. BUT obviously it is far better than the real thing, for us anyway.
Yay!!!! Way to go!!!!
My husband has been watching the Supreme Court stuff... he called me today and said “in Judge Barrett’s interview today she said that she went home last night and had a glass of wine. If she can have a glass of wine, I think you can, too.”
I replied “maybe she doesn’t have an issue with wine like I do. I’ll pass”
I’m not sure now I feel about this.
In my school district, a nice, quiet maintenance man just died of alcoholism. I was so surprised to hear that. My friend said he had liver damage and was an alcoholic. I didn't know him well at all, but I always felt he was a good soul, nice blue eyes and always a smile. Who would have known his pain or the addiction that gripped him? He was well liked and had a family. They must be suffering too. What a sad story.
I'm doing ok. It is getting a little bit easier to not drink. Now, I have a personal goal.. Make it to two months and get that damn coin. After a few weeks, I now am fearful to drink because I don't want to start counting again.
My sugar cravings are terrible though. So, tonight I am just skipping dinner and snacks to try to reset the body. I had a good hard workout tonight which usually makes me nauseous afterwards and not hungry anyway. I know you're supposed to refuel after a workout but I think I'll just eat a good breakfast.
Happy 100!! @donimfp. I am at day 39. I'm so proud of you!
It is a tough year to give up drinking but I think our anxiety would be through the roof if we had alcohol in our system. At least mine would be. Did your husband stick with it too?
Awesome post! Very inspiring. Happy to see you are doing well and taking charge of your life.
@Beka3695 it sounds like hes looking for justification? You just keep doing you.
I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to be argumentative. I'm not. I just so do not miss the old "me" that it's hard for me to understand the idea of grieving for that old "self." She was in every way inferior to who I am now. (I think! I could be wrong . . . maybe someone will enlighten me).