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The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Well I just popped in and thought I'd share. Im on vacation with the fam and the weather is very hot. We get off our boat yesterday for food and walk around and people are literally staggering drunk everywhere. Im seeing this and you know what I'm thinking.
Were at a table and a woman...a very middle aged woman was taking a selfie while sipping a mixed drink..she looked awful...as in it wasnt her first drink.
A while later we stop for ice cream..Im walking along with my daughter and a man was hanging over a railing puking in the water! He was if I had to guess beyond dehydrated drinking all day out in the sun. Barfing over the rail for the world to see.
Happy to be enjoying the vaca AF!4 -
@aroze0928 Isn't that attractive?? NOT!! I bet that's some incentive to remain AF!! Nice to be on this side of that type of behavior though. You never know though, one of those people who are having difficulty with alcohol may be on this thread or similar one day working towards a change...we can always hope for their healing.2
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I know @lorrainquiche59. I felt so bad. Walking around greatful that I made this change for myself and my family.4
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If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying7
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GOOD MORN I was going to share something yesterday and forgot what the heck it was LOL I like to refer to these mind-gap sessions as "brain farts" I'm almost certain it would have been something very profound LOL Oh well, I'm also fairly certain I have OTHER redeeming qualities besides a selective memory.johnnyblastick559 wrote: »If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying
YUP!! Like I've read "drinking is ONLY a symptom of an underlying issue" It isn't a matter of drinking too much, it is a matter of WHY are you drinking too much? It is interesting to me when you observe people who have stopped drinking but haven't worked on their issues...the term is "dry drunk" they still have stinky thinking etc etc The only observable difference in their life is their elbow has stopped moving from drink to lips.
It IS difficult to do the work (looking at the messy and not so attractive parts of ourselves or the hurts we've tried to bury) and takes a certain amount of courage to do the work and sometimes can get to the point where it "seems" too difficult to do it sober, but how else can you work on it...? cause if you go back to drinking, you're basically giving up on yourself!! I've given up on myself WAY too many times in the past and I deserve to do the work...that sounds kinda weird but hope the point is made somehow.
Hope whatever this day brings, may it bring you closer to your goals
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I know @lorrainquiche59. I felt so bad. Walking around greatful that I made this change for myself and my family.
They say timing is everything and it's interesting the timing on your comment yesterday is in line with the comment in the book, "Letting Go" for July 5 and I'm not connecting it to your feeling "grateful" for your sobriety but for me it triggered an issue that some of us may wrestle with as we become healthier. The title of the blurb for that day is "Survivor Guilt" For certain we feel grateful for our own sobriety, but may struggle with guilt cause ones around us that we care for are still stuck in their disease. Anyway, I'm going to share the following blurb in the hopes that it may help someone who is working through their own guilty feelings.
A couple of sentences resonated with me and hope they do with you also. " ...it hurts to leave behind those we love. But, keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy......their recovery is not our business.....We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt."
For me the key to that sentence is "loving ourselves without guilt" Guilt used to be my middle name, but not so much any longer...in fact, my elderly friend made me a sign..."No more guilt" years ago and every time I come across it, it is a reminder of how I struggled for so long feeling responsible for other people's issues and not realizing I felt bad about myself because I couldn't do anything to change it for them & believe me, I tried!! How do you love yourself, when you feel bad about yourself??? That is a heavy burden to bear and can contribute to our own drinking issue without us realizing it....
Anyway, we can work at feeling good about our own choices and not worry so much about others' choices. This is my goal for today.4 -
I haven't drank in 35 years but replaced booze with food. Went from 103 lbs 5'2" to 199 today. Dr. put me on 45 carb x3 (meals) plus 15 carb x2 (snacks) a day. I now see how the carb count in my fav foods was way too much.4
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johnnyblastick559 wrote: »If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying
This may help some people but I just think it's an uncalled for post,to each their own11 -
I had wine a couple of days this week. One day way too much. Tomorrow would have been Day 100 for me. I have that written on tomorrow's date on my calendar. BUMMER. But ok. It's a process. I'm leaving Monday for my FIL's 90th birthday celebration. There will be drinking. Not heavy drinking, but drinking. Don't know how this is going to go. It's amazing how much even a little indulgence in alcohol sends me back to square one mentally. I feel SO good when I don't drink. I feel so depressed when I do drink. So it should be a no-brainer to choose not to drink. Right? I'm just talking to myself, but it helps to have this forum to do that. Have a great weekend, everyone.8
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@donimfp I'm struggling with the same thing. And the rapid clip at which I have gained weight back in the last couple weeks has made me even more depressed. I need to get over the hump so I can feel good again, but without forgetting how crappy I feel now, so that I remain AF over the long haul4
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Just watching videos for a tune up- here’s a newer one from Craig Beck- 24 min excellent tips. We have to dig into our passions and fill up our time doing them. You have a lot of time on your hands when you quit alcohol. I need to stay busy and not isolate myself in this apartment. Back to painting 🖼 and improving my craft.
https://youtu.be/LZBf92HWKKA7 -
I had wine a couple of days this week. One day way too much. Tomorrow would have been Day 100 for me. I have that written on tomorrow's date on my calendar. BUMMER. But ok. It's a process. I'm leaving Monday for my FIL's 90th birthday celebration. There will be drinking. Not heavy drinking, but drinking. Don't Iknow how this is going to go. It's amazing how much even a little indulgence in alcohol sends me back to square one mentally. I feel SO good when I don't drink. I feel so depressed when I do drink. So it should be a no-brainer to choose not to drink. Right? I'm just talking to myself, but it helps to have this forum to do that. Have a great weekend, everyone.
I can relate. I feel so much better emotionally when I don’t drink. And I go to the gym more often.... one drink is too much and a bottle never enough. Hang in there ! 🌺4 -
@lorrainquiche59 letting go sounds like a book I should look into. Thanks for all the inspiring info you put on the table. It sounds like it could be helpful for me. Im going strong with the AF. And I know I have to keep going. I also have obstacles in my way and I need all the help I can get to figure out how to handle that. Maybe this book can help me too.4
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@RubyRed427 thanks for the Craig Beck video...some really good reminders
@donimfp You're going through a rough patch, and have been through a lot over the past year and in spite of all that, you've made great progress...please be kind to yourself. I wish I could give you a hug in person.
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Thank you @RubyRed427 and @lorrainequiche59. Yes, being kind to myself means thinking of alcohol as "treating myself" to a big ol' swig of anxiety. Now why would (do) I do that??? I hate anxiety, but wine might as well have a big label on it saying Chateau du Panic or something like that. This little flirtation with it has only reminded me of how bad I feel when I drink.5
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johnnyblastick559 wrote: »If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying
Of course there is we all know that. Cant say I've ever met a happy alcoholic. Thats why we're here.4 -
For anyone struggling, this is a five minute video by Richard Burton on his compassions for alcoholics It is a very sobering ❤️ poignant speech.
https://youtu.be/cgF1fzCqu-k5 -
Thank you @RubyRed427 and @lorrainequiche59. Yes, being kind to myself means thinking of alcohol as "treating myself" to a big ol' swig of anxiety. Now why would (do) I do that??? I hate anxiety, but wine might as well have a big label on it saying Chateau du Panic or something like that. This little flirtation with it has only reminded me of how bad I feel when I drink.
Lesson learned!! Now on to day 1012 -
@donimfp Chateau du panic LOL3
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@donimfp SO many great observations. "Big ol swig of anxiety." SO true.
I fell off the wagon hard over the 4th (and 5th and 6th etc.....you know how it is. Never just one day for some of us.)
I'm climbing out of the bottle today and will have a day of self care, meditation and prayer, watching inspirational videos and some exercise. It's a new day and I just have to move forward.10
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