The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.2 -
I have noticed a deep decline in my anxiety these past five weeks. I have not needed to take my emergency Lorizepam at all. When I used to drink, the next day I would have to take one anti nausea pill and a half of a Lorizepam to cope with the anxious feelings.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I am waiting for this, too. I still cannot shake the craving for the vodka cranberry that I saw the man drinking 2 weeks ago. I am so glad there is no cranberry in this house, bc my husband has vodka. I am not interested in anything else, thank GOD!!! However, I did take a long sniff of my SIL's jack and coke last week... My daughter was like "what the heck are you doing" I replied "smelling... just smelling it" This reminds me that I am not yet in control!
Today is day 224. I agree with you that we all deserve a gold star for becoming AF in 2020 -- all inclusive, not just COVID.
Big hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I am waiting for this, too. I still cannot shake the craving for the vodka cranberry that I saw the man drinking 2 weeks ago. I am so glad there is no cranberry in this house, bc my husband has vodka. I am not interested in anything else, thank GOD!!! However, I did take a long sniff of my SIL's jack and coke last week... My daughter was like "what the heck are you doing" I replied "smelling... just smelling it" This reminds me that I am not yet in control!
Today is day 224. I agree with you that we all deserve a gold star for becoming AF in 2020 -- all inclusive, not just COVID.
Big hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!
I think that's a good strategy; don't keep the triggers/drinks you love in the house. I had to buy a bottle of wine yesterday to take to a party for the host today. It is sitting in my trunk of my car; I actually forgot about it til now.
Nothing wrong with smelling the drink. That made me smile. But the good thing is you didn't drink it. Keep on going! Let's see how long we can go.
I am going to a football outdoor party later. I am armed with a big bottle of Perrier and one bottle of 00 Heineken (no alcohol) just in case I have a hankering for a beer. I know some may say this is a slippery slope but for me it works. It does not trigger me. We all do what's best for us.4 -
Good AF substitutes, including AF versions of alcoholic drinks, are a favorite topic on the Sober School forum. I love having the option of AF beer and the AF stout that I think tastes just like Guinness. I may be wrong but I think AA frowns on these. For me, they have been a positive and fun support.
I’m rereading Clare Pooley’s Sober Diaries now that I can relate more to her first hundred days. She relied on Beck’s Blue, which is my favorite too.4 -
@donimfp ~ AA only has a 10% success rate...most people stop drinking on their own or with other methods so if AF subs work for you & don't trigger you, "You GO girl!!" It's all individual...no one-way fits all
@RubyRed427 I love your post about anxiety...it is so true that whatever feelings we are trying to temporarily escape through alcohol will come back to bite us in the butt and bring some other friends in for the party eg depression. I'm glad that you are noticing the decline in your anxiety...that is another huge benefit.
Sounds like everyone is doing great. We have a long weekend here in Canada...Thanksgiving! So I have 2 days mostly off, I had a lovely solitary day off today and have one wee one-hour job tomorrow and then a walk in the park with my senior puppy. and whatever else the day holds.
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I am very socially awkward, so I used alcohol as a way to loosen up. Became a big binge drinker, parties every weekend. I got fat and miserable. Finally decided I'm done with that life. Alcohol free since labor day.13
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In the past when I lost weight my alcohol consumption went right up, I even took up smoking. I've got a really addictive personality and while food is normally my crutch it will just switch to other vices. I did Dry January this year to support my husband who was doing it and then I just stuck with it. I'm happy about that now as I've finally decided to really try and shift the weight and I won't have this looming over me.
All that said, 2020 was a *kitten* of a year to have given up drinking.
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Welcome to the new faces! We are glad you are with us on this journey. RubyRed, I totally agree about the anxiety. That drink is SO not worth what is sure to follow! Weird trigger that has never happened to me' before: I was taking a walk and passed a neighbors recycling bin with a wine bottle in it. You would think, surrounded by trash, that this would have disgusted me. Instead it make me want some wine! I pushed through it though.
I'm on the fence about the NA beer. Last time I quit drinking, then started again, it DID start with some NA beer. So, I am being cautious about that. I just have such an addictive personality. BUT obviously it is far better than the real thing, for us anyway.6 -
Celebrating Day 100!11
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Vent - and not meant to be political!
My husband has been watching the Supreme Court stuff... he called me today and said “in Judge Barrett’s interview today she said that she went home last night and had a glass of wine. If she can have a glass of wine, I think you can, too.”
I replied “maybe she doesn’t have an issue with wine like I do. I’ll pass”
I’m not sure now I feel about this.7 -
Hi! Interesting story @Beka3695 - I wonder why your husband said that? Does he miss you as a drinking partner? I do like your response though
In my school district, a nice, quiet maintenance man just died of alcoholism. I was so surprised to hear that. My friend said he had liver damage and was an alcoholic. I didn't know him well at all, but I always felt he was a good soul, nice blue eyes and always a smile. Who would have known his pain or the addiction that gripped him? He was well liked and had a family. They must be suffering too. What a sad story.
I'm doing ok. It is getting a little bit easier to not drink. Now, I have a personal goal.. Make it to two months and get that damn coin. After a few weeks, I now am fearful to drink because I don't want to start counting again.
My sugar cravings are terrible though. So, tonight I am just skipping dinner and snacks to try to reset the body. I had a good hard workout tonight which usually makes me nauseous afterwards and not hungry anyway. I know you're supposed to refuel after a workout but I think I'll just eat a good breakfast.
Happy 100!! @donimfp. I am at day 39. I'm so proud of you!6 -
FutureFit2020 wrote: »In the past when I lost weight my alcohol consumption went right up, I even took up smoking. I've got a really addictive personality and while food is normally my crutch it will just switch to other vices. I did Dry January this year to support my husband who was doing it and then I just stuck with it. I'm happy about that now as I've finally decided to really try and shift the weight and I won't have this looming over me.
All that said, 2020 was a *kitten* of a year to have given up drinking.
It is a tough year to give up drinking but I think our anxiety would be through the roof if we had alcohol in our system. At least mine would be. Did your husband stick with it too?4 -
reedbryant wrote: »I am very socially awkward, so I used alcohol as a way to loosen up. Became a big binge drinker, parties every weekend. I got fat and miserable. Finally decided I'm done with that life. Alcohol free since labor day.
Awesome post! Very inspiring. Happy to see you are doing well and taking charge of your life.5 -
Just popping in to say hi. Bought a bottle of wine this weekend. I was trying to replicate a meal. It was the largest wine bottle in the whole section but the only one I could find of that brand. It was like an elephant in the room. I only needed a cup. I wondered what just a sip would do to my progress. It was such an overwhelming thought. I couldn't even take a sip. And thats just the way it is. Crazy.
@Beka3695 it sounds like hes looking for justification? You just keep doing you.6 -
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I'm wondering about that quote. I'm not sure what it means. Sometimes I miss what alcohol gave me, like a buzz, oblivion, an escape. I guess I could characterize that as "grieving" for what I can't have any more. But as far as grieving my old "self" . . . I'm not sure I understand that. My non-drinking self is better in every way from my drinking self. I can't grieve the loss of the old insecure, anxious, nauseated, depressed me. I understand more grieving the loss of that old lying, false "friend," alcohol.
I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to be argumentative. I'm not. I just so do not miss the old "me" that it's hard for me to understand the idea of grieving for that old "self." She was in every way inferior to who I am now. (I think! I could be wrong . . . maybe someone will enlighten me).5 -
I'm wondering about that quote. I'm not sure what it means. Sometimes I miss what alcohol gave me, like a buzz, oblivion, an escape. I guess I could characterize that as "grieving" for what I can't have any more. But as far as grieving my old "self" . . . I'm not sure I understand that. My non-drinking self is better in every way from my drinking self. I can't grieve the loss of the old insecure, anxious, nauseated, depressed me. I understand more grieving the loss of that old lying, false "friend," alcohol.
I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to be argumentative. I'm not. I just so do not miss the old "me" that it's hard for me to understand the idea of grieving for that old "self." She was in every way inferior to who I am now. (I think! I could be wrong . . . maybe someone will enlighten me).
I agree that my non drinking self is much better than my shoshed self.
I took it to mean it is ok to miss the social things you did, the friends you lost, and the changes that you made to become this better version of you.
Kind of like my ex husband... we had 5 great years (married 15 😜) It is ok to miss those 5, even though he was ultimately toxic.6 -
True. I miss a lot about drinking. I just don’t miss who I am/was when drinking. I would like to be able to be my best self who has a rare martini. Unfortunately I know that’s an impossibility. On the other hand, I’ve just realized that my nostalgia for a martini can’t just be for the delicious taste. Nothing tastes THAT good. Something I need to think about.7
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I understand what it means. It's like missing a bad boyfriend. You know he is a jerk and terrible for you, but sometimes you miss him anyway.5
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I am nostalgic when I see a fav bar where I used to sit and have a few drinks after work. I miss that routine and unwinding time. But it would always make me want to get a bottle on the way home and drink some more.
I miss the good times I had with drinking like dancing with friends, watching playoff games, playing euchre with friends, sitting around a campfire with a drink. But I have to keep on reminding myself all of those good times were fleeting; and many ended up with me on the bathroom floor or with a hangover.
I think that quote means what you want it to mean to you. I actually didn't mind the drinking Julie in the early days. But as I became a drunk, I was a crying, emotional mess. Ohhh those are bad memories.
I am starting to get into a groove with working out after work. I think I can form some positive habits little by little; I have to just give myself some time and be patient.
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I miss some things too... like my wife dropping me off at a sports bar to watch football and drink beer while she went shopping or the Friday nights on the back porch talking alcohol fueled smack. Meh. My wife still drinks some, but I really don't care and the longer I don't drink, it's really not even a point of conversation anymore, it's just me. That said, there's a lot more that I don't miss....the forgotten conversations, the raging anxiety, crappy sleep, and 40 lbs.7
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Does anyone have friends or family who don't understand why you quit drinking? I DO! They say things like, "it's not that hard to stop at one or two." even though I tell them it was all consuming, and one reason my health deteriorated (both mentally and physically) and I was 100 lbs overweight, and one reason my health did a 180 and I lost 100 lbs after I quit drinking.... they still don't get it or even laugh at the situation. I am NOT one of those that give others a hard time about their choice to drink, even though some have problems with it like I did. Anyway, just a little rant...
PS....I just celebrated 1 1/2 years AF a couple weeks back and feeling incredible!10 -
@nighthawk584 People that give you a hard time are truly insecure about their own drinking habits. This is the ONLY explanation. Good for you on your 100 lbs weight loss! That is very inspiring.7
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@FeelingFooFoo, the constant pondering what to do is exhausting. I think we've all been there. Hoping you find your right path. I know you've read Annie Grace and maybe Allen Carr. If you haven't done so, you might check out Bex Weller, Sara(h?) Hepola, Lotta Dann . . . in other words the "quit lit" narratives. They can be quite inspiring and comforting in a way to read about people who have been there, done that, including struggling with the issue of whether or not to quit drinking.7
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@FeelinFooFoo It takes time to work our way through our AF struggles. I have been on this journey for about 3 years now, and finally it is clicking. I have been having longer AF periods than ever. I think our brains are so used to relying on alcohol that we have to reprogram them. You're making progress month by month.
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Today is 42 days for me. I am feeling good this morning! Sleep has never been better. But it took a few weeks of being AF for my sleep to get better. I am hoping my liver is regenerating which is in my top 3 goals for being AF.
Netflix has a documentary The Truth about Alcohol that is a good reminder of why we should be AF as much as possible. The documentary tells us nothing new but just another nugget of inspiration.
I am also starting Morning Pages today. (where you free write three pages of your thoughts and then shred them) It is supposed to unlock creativity. Julia Cameron wrote the book 30 years ago.
Another goal: Join the local Hiking Club.
When I woke today, I felt energetic and excited for the day to come. Sobriety brings long long hours in a day but with time I will make better use of those hours.
I still crave, but just take it one day at a time.6 -
nighthawk584 wrote: »Does anyone have friends or family who don't understand why you quit drinking? I DO! They say things like, "it's not that hard to stop at one or two." even though I tell them it was all consuming, and one reason my health deteriorated (both mentally and physically) and I was 100 lbs overweight, and one reason my health did a 180 and I lost 100 lbs after I quit drinking.... they still don't get it or even laugh at the situation. I am NOT one of those that give others a hard time about their choice to drink, even though some have problems with it like I did. Anyway, just a little rant...
PS....I just celebrated 1 1/2 years AF a couple weeks back and feeling incredible!
OMG 100 pounds lost. That is amazing progress!! So inspiring. I don't have friends who dont understand why I quit BUT when I hang out with them, I feel like a dud. I have been distancing myself from them which can be a little lonely. Rant anytime. It helps all of us.6 -
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