The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Up_n_Running wrote: »30 days AF 👌😁
Only another 104 days until I am back at my personal best. Can't wait.
Tattoo parlours are open on 26th April in Scotland, so I will be phoning to book an appointment then.....my tattoo will represent my 100 days AF that I managed on prior streak and also be for my parents so it will be really special for me. Really special. ❤🦋🌹💯
That is beautiful. I can't wait to see your tattoo if you want to share it with us. I love the double meaning. Congrats on day 30!!3 -
Wow. I didn't realize until I logged in how long it's been since I read and posted. I've caught up with the reading. A belated kiss and hug to you, Ruby for the tragedy in your family. I was so sorry to read about that. Congratulations on your sober vacation. Jen, that was amazing to learn about your father! How well I remember his brave actions that day! @Up_n_Running, you are doing great! The "boys" are going to have to learn to respect your boundaries. Hopefully they will get there. You at least deserve your sleep!
I'm not doing very well on the drinking front. I just can't believe I was 6 months AF and then am still struggling after relapsing (or whatever term @RubyRed427 mentioned was better) on January 6. I've had 10-day AF streaks since then, but then bam! I've never experienced, ever, the kind of blackout drinking described by some, but my drinking was (and is at the moment) slow and steady and bad for me. I've never even had a deadly hangover, but I know I kind of live in a hungover state when I'm drinking--functional but feeling crappy. One issue is my terrible tinnitus. It seems alcohol is the only thing that calms it down. Another weird thing is that I never drink while out. On Easter, I joined my husband and mom and sister and friend for my very first restaurant outing since COVID started. It was a lovely Easter brunch, complete with mimosas. But I stuck to water. But THEN, when I got home, I drank. It's not because I'm "hiding" my drinking. I truly am not motivated to drink when I'm socializing. I know that's the opposite of many people's experience.
Anyway, yadda yadda yadda. I'm boring myself and I'm sure you guys. I really want my sobriety back. I believe I will get it back. But one thing I now know for SURE is that "just one" is deadly for me. I read Quit Like a Woman when I was not drinking and really liked it, along with a few other good, inspiring books. I guess I'll go back to those and also try to stay faithful to this group because it has been so helpful.8 -
36 days AF! I had my 30 day 'birthday' at my local meeting
been kind of down lately though. I have been gardening and prepping my backyard/beds. I started some seeds, lettuce, lemon cucumber, watermelon, microgreens. My friends who have greenhouses will be giving me their heirloom tomato and other starts when they're ready. Gardening is my therapy. For years my exhusband wouldn't 'let/allow' me to garden and when I was drinking I would plant but it was a mess, would end up forgetting where I planted bulbs, would end up bailing on the project because I was so effed up, etc. I was able to sit in my garden last night (I worked in it until after dark) and just sat and took everything in. I thought how I am actually grateful for being AF. My exhusband is still being horrible, we had mediation last week and he went on a rant to the mediator about how I'm doing nothing to better myself, refuses to let kids come back home or anymore time for that matter. Also found out from my daughter he told my babies to start calling his new girlfriend "mom". COMPLETELY pissed me off and devastated me. I would have ordinarily went and got a bottle of the hard stuff but I am getting more tools in my toolbox to cope with better ways. I am hella proud of everyone on here, for taking the right steps to be healthy and taking care of themselves 
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@mtngrl3, Congratulations on 36 days! The gardening sounds like wonderful therapy. We had a community plot several years ago and it was really amazing to see things "magically" appear. We don't garden any more, but just yesterday we received our first CSA share, and prepping and figuring out what to do with the produce is therapeutic for me! Plus, I so admire our farmers who have bounced back after our epic Texas freeze. Last night I sauteed beet greens and they were delicious. Today I'm roasting the beets. Fresh produce makes me happy, and I'm sure growing it is a wonderful distraction from any temptation.
Bummer about your ex. That would be a real trigger, but you are coping beautifully. Brava!5 -
P.S. to my 2 a.m. post above: I was up until 4:30 because of tinnitus. I did some research. Although alcohol kind of deadens the sensation of buzzing, it is actually a contributing factor to the symptom. As is salt. As is sugar. As is aspartame (I usually drink one Diet Coke a day). So now I have an extra motivation to quit the alcohol. It's "helpfulness" is just one more of its lies.
I took half a day off and got permission to work the other half from home, so I'm reflecting on my diet and my drinking, prepping veggies, and feeling optimistic.6 -
@donimfp It will all work itself out. You had a long run AF for six months; you can use those tools you used before, once again.
I don't believe willpower works, so you may need to reread (like you said) books, focus on sobriety, meditate, etc.
I believe in you!!
Thanks for sharing; every time someone shares their experiences, it helps me sooo much.
I have a little voice that sometimes whispers, "sure you can go back to drinking and be normal." I can see for many of us, it's so hard to be a moderate drinker.
@mtngrl3 Sounds like your ex husband needs some parenting lessons- sorry to be blunt. He should be more respectful of you in regards to his girlfriend (having your kids call her mom). That is too confusing for children.
He should also be big enough to acknowledge your efforts!!! I'm so proud of you!!
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I learned a new term just now "California Sober."
Of course, when I read it, I thought 'wow maybe I can be California sober???".
Nope, won't work for me unfortunately.
Here's an article about it. It's about Demi Lovato and experts in alcohol use disorder.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2021/04/06/demi-lovato-dancing-devil-explores-california-sober-concept/7089763002/2 -
https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Wellness/alcohol-related-liver-disease-rise-young-women-amid/story?id=76772645&cid=social_twitter_abcn
I find this so unfortunate and sad. Another great reason to stay sober.2 -
I have failed, I keep trying not each day slip back, I do realise something is going to give sooner or later but not sure how to get out of the spiralling circle!
I can relate to so much Rubyred427 listed previously, I guess I need to try again and be more positive!5 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »I have failed, I keep trying not each day slip back, I do realise something is going to give sooner or later but not sure how to get out of the spiralling circle!
I can relate to so much Rubyred427 listed previously, I guess I need to try again and be more positive!
It's only a failure, if you give up trying ! And your here posting, so you've not given up !
Maybe try reading some inspiring books or watching some videos on YouTube by Annie Grace or Rebecca Weller. I find all those folk so inspiring. Good luck 👍
That's I will give it a try!4 -
@donimfp we have missed you here for sure. Don't be hard on yourself...we are all our own worst critic. You will get back on track when you are ready. Are you still trying out for Jeopardy? If you get on you have to tell us when to watch!
@mtngrl3 OMG I would lose my *kitten* if my husband told my kids to call his gf Mom. Can no one mediate in this situation for you? A mutual friend maybe? That is completely unacceptable. You are doing your best.
@annliz23 Never ever give up trying. It will stick one day.
I appreciate all of you here at the Sober Squad. You ALL make valuable contributions to this thread ~ Jen
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@RubyRed427 I also heard about California Sober. it is laughable. Demi reasons that people on diets don't completely quit eating. WELL NO KIDDING YOU NEED FOOD TO LIVE! You do not need weed and alcohol. Whatever. I do not believe this is going to work for her. She'll probably figure this out before too long3
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@RubyRed427 I also heard about California Sober. it is laughable. Demi reasons that people on diets don't completely quit eating. WELL NO KIDDING YOU NEED FOOD TO LIVE! You do not need weed and alcohol. Whatever. I do not believe this is going to work for her. She'll probably figure this out before too long
I do agree with you Jen! Elton John said "hell no, it's not possible." Once the brain is a pickle, we can't go back to being a cucumber.
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Up_n_Running wrote: »I have failed, I keep trying not each day slip back, I do realise something is going to give sooner or later but not sure how to get out of the spiralling circle!
I can relate to so much Rubyred427 listed previously, I guess I need to try again and be more positive!
It's only a failure, if you give up trying ! And your here posting, so you've not given up !
Maybe try reading some inspiring books or watching some videos on YouTube by Annie Grace or Rebecca Weller. I find all those folk so inspiring. Good luck 👍
That's I will give it a try!
I agree with everyone on here! Keep trying! We do not fail, we stumble. We're human. Once you build some momentum, you'll get back on track.
Don't give up on yourself; you are worth the effort.
Even people in AA with years of sobriety, sometimes drink. Then, they get right back to the serious business of being sober.6 -
Gotta say tonight I felt left out. I went out with three friends to dinner. Beautiful restaurant. They all drank wine and cocktails and I had Perrier.
Oh well... there are worse things in life than not drinking.6 -
I told RubyRed I fell off the wagon last night as I was in the exact same position as her (restaurant, old friends). I drank wine. There were no negative consequences THIS TIME and I realize that was pure luck and I am under no illusions that won't be the case if I do this again. I've read and heard too many horror stories to think I am going to be the exception when it comes to moderation. Back in the saddle today.6
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Yesterday at dinner, my friend had two cocktails. She said "do you want to drive my car home". I said sure. She then said "well, I can drive. never mind".
So, she was driving and I had to yell "RED Light"!!!
She didn't see the light was totally red, and kept cruising down the street at 40 mph.
I can't say if that was because of the alcohol or just the darkness (our middle aged eyes are not that good at night). But it made me think a little bit.
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@RubyRed427, you are right. There are worse things in life than not drinking. One of them definitely is drinking!!!! It sucks. And it's really hard to get back to sobriety. I'm finding that out the very hard way but am determined.
@JenT304, thanks for asking about Jeopardy. I've made it through all the auditions. Their last thing is: "You've made it into the contestant pool. You may be called in the next 18 months to come to L.A. for a taping. If you don't hear in 18 months, feel free to start the process over." They mention that some of their biggest winners went through the whole process (mine started well before COVID) 3 or 4 times. Well, I venture to say they weren't 65. If I don't hear in the 18 months, I'll say, "That was fun, but not again." It's an honor to have made it through the process, but we'll see what happens. Apparently everyone on the show signs an NDA and then the taping precedes the airing by months. We have a woman here locally who taped the show in November. It still hasn't aired, and she still can't reveal what happened. I have to say that the Jeopardy folks were super duper nice throughout the whole process.
Anyway . . . Everybody's sounding good. My 6 months was such a joyful time. I'm just amazed at how hard I'm finding it to get back there. Anyone thinking, "I'll just have one" . . . don't. It isn't worth it. I gave in in a very stressful moment January 6, and I have yet to make it past 10 days. Frustrating. It's a journey.
Oh, and @Up_n_Running, your photograph is lovely! That's the face of a nondrinker.7 -
@rubyred427 just read my Fitbit weekly report and you were #2 on my friends list. You are so consistently active!!! Kudos to you!!!! I’m trying, but was #10 🤪5
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@rubyred427 just read my Fitbit weekly report and you were #2 on my friends list. You are so consistently active!!! Kudos to you!!!! I’m trying, but was #10 🤪
Thanks Beka! I try to stay active. I didn't know we can see each other's Fitbit profiles. I'll have to look! 2 -
@RubyRed427, you are right. There are worse things in life than not drinking. One of them definitely is drinking!!!! It sucks. And it's really hard to get back to sobriety. I'm finding that out the very hard way but am determined.
@JenT304, thanks for asking about Jeopardy. I've made it through all the auditions. Their last thing is: "You've made it into the contestant pool. You may be called in the next 18 months to come to L.A. for a taping. If you don't hear in 18 months, feel free to start the process over." They mention that some of their biggest winners went through the whole process (mine started well before COVID) 3 or 4 times. Well, I venture to say they weren't 65. If I don't hear in the 18 months, I'll say, "That was fun, but not again." It's an honor to have made it through the process, but we'll see what happens. Apparently everyone on the show signs an NDA and then the taping precedes the airing by months. We have a woman here locally who taped the show in November. It still hasn't aired, and she still can't reveal what happened. I have to say that the Jeopardy folks were super duper nice throughout the whole process.
Anyway . . . Everybody's sounding good. My 6 months was such a joyful time. I'm just amazed at how hard I'm finding it to get back there. Anyone thinking, "I'll just have one" . . . don't. It isn't worth it. I gave in in a very stressful moment January 6, and I have yet to make it past 10 days. Frustrating. It's a journey.
Oh, and @Up_n_Running, your photograph is lovely! That's the face of a nondrinker.
Very interesting story about Jeopardy!! I am hoping they call you soon!
Thanks for the warning about drinking. Seriously, I think often "I'll just have one..." But this thread really helps me. So, thanks for your honesty. I'm sure you will be back on track- you did it then, you can do it again.3 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »@donimfp thanks for sharing your experience as it really is a great reminder for all of us. Wolfie has been back whispering in my ear lately, so I will remember what you have posted!
I wish for you that you can get back to where you want to be on your soberiety journey. 💖
And thanks, I look SO much better when I don't drink. Seriously. Its like looking at 2 different people. Great motivation to stay dry.
You are so pretty!! Love the photo!4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@rubyred427 just read my Fitbit weekly report and you were #2 on my friends list. You are so consistently active!!! Kudos to you!!!! I’m trying, but was #10 🤪
Thanks Beka! I try to stay active. I didn't know we can see each other's Fitbit profiles. I'll have to look!
You can’t see the profile, but the “Tuesday email” shows the most active of my friends then where I compare. Also, on the friends page it has the rolling # of steps for the week.3 -
My sponsor is such a sweetie. She's older, wickedly good sense of humor, doesn't bug me or pressure me, she's perfect for me.
Anyway, here is what she said recently in a text; I thought it was wise.
"The big question for the "drinker" is what makes someone want to change. If ones willing to pay the price or is protected from paying any price, there is not a whole lot that can be done. I know I saw the price going up and was not willing to pay it! I couldn't see any alternative but sobriety. "
She was responding to my text about my cousin who was on a THREE day binge and didn't even come home to his wife Sunday night. The wife was so distraught. Alcohol and his choice are probably going to end their marriage; they were so good together before his drinking kicked into high gear.6 -
Tonight, I was close to ordering a margarita. I took myself to a Mexican restaurant after my hair cut. I looked around me at all the margaritas, but I convinced myself that all that sugar was not a good idea. And the taste of tequila would definitely trigger me. Another day sober. I'm at 222 days. Did not want to ruin that streak with a cheap margarita.7
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I love that quote about, "I saw the price going up and I was not willing to pay it!" So true.5
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45 days AF. going through hell still. The narc exhusband is not letting me speak with my kids on the phone and it felt like someone ripped my guts out. I thought of alcohol. then I thought of how that would be handing him the power, I'm sick and tired of feeling powerless. It's been a slow, slow road but I am taking it back. So I texted a friend, responded with a VERY civil, kind text to him stating I will be talking to my kids to say goodnight and that I love them. (If he doesn't it's illegal in CA but he doesn't know that apparently). Going through a health scare that isn't diagnosed right now, which might be related to my heavy drinking. Cat scan is monday. I have been having MAJOR edema in my feet and other issues. 1 day at a time though. Hope everyone is doing good. Never imagined I would be this far in. 12
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@mtngrl3 Sending you hugs ! You are going through such tough times yet you persevere. Staying sober is a great place to be! 6
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Tonight, I was close to ordering a margarita. I took myself to a Mexican restaurant after my hair cut. I looked around me at all the margaritas, but I convinced myself that all that sugar was not a good idea. And the taste of tequila would definitely trigger me. Another day sober. I'm at 222 days. Did not want to ruin that streak with a cheap margarita.
Congratulations on 222 days!7 -
@RubyRed427, you are right. There are worse things in life than not drinking. One of them definitely is drinking!!!! It sucks. And it's really hard to get back to sobriety. I'm finding that out the very hard way but am determined.
...about Jeopardy. I've made it through all the auditions. Their last thing is: "You've made it into the contestant pool. You may be called in the next 18 months to come to L.A. for a taping. If you don't hear in 18 months, feel free to start the process over."
I have been through a couple of game show auditions for lyrics/singing. I made it to the final round, but they wanted a dramatic story to tell; I didn't have one. I hope Jeopardy is different. Good luck!3
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