The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I read 60 pages of the link above by @stubbornloser . Very good so far.4
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I like the narrative books of Bex Weller (A Happier Hour) and Clare Pooley (The Sober Diaries). Both women have new books out or coming out. Weller's Up All Day is out now. Pooley's Authenticity Project comes out next year. I haven't read Weller's new one. She also has a blog--Sexy Sobriety--and helpful free emails.
Nice too see you and your blue butterfly pic! xo
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@RubyRed427 You are so kind...I consider you a friend also and appreciate your honesty & insight.
Yes, it is nice to see the blue butterfly pic @donimfp
@nighthawk584 "different but nice to be sober" sums up AF life perfectly.
Love all the comments and reading suggestions. I'm definitely checking some of these out.
Hoping for a happy, healthy AF day for all.4 -
@RubyRed427 and @lorrainequiche59, thanks for missing me! I've been a faithful reader but just haven't felt much like posting lately. I've struggled with whether I even want to be AF, especially given the tinnitus (which I'm now learning to live with, so the temptation to drink is much less). I'm in a transition time of my life, just trying to figure out a lot of things. So I don't feel I have a lot to contribute these days, but this group continues to inspire me every day. All I know is, I'm looking forward to an AF day today. That's about as far as it goes. 4
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Hi everyone. I am alcohol free for 35 days now and have been reading the posts in this forum for about 25 days. Although I am not typically one to share, I wanted to say thanks to those who do share, and who knows, maybe sharing will be good for me? So here goes.
I originally vowed to go alcohol free for the month of October (sober-tober) but now I plan to keep it going as long as I can (and hopefully indefinitely). I’d have to say that the second to third week were the hardest so far but I feel like now I’m past the mad cravings and moving forward. I’m also dieting – so double whammy – LOL.
I never drank when I was younger. I was always the “mother hen” and looked out for everyone when my brother had drinking parties at the house. When I turned 21 he took me out to the bar to celebrate and I got annihilated. Apparently I was downing tequila sunrises like they were water (not that I can remember though). Needless to say, I spent that night and the next day mostly in the bathroom and reaffirmed that I don’t like drinking.
Flash forward 30 years and who would guess I have to actively work to stop drinking alcohol. I became less social as I got older and then discovered that after a few drinks, I was a lot more fun than when I wasn’t drinking. And it progressed from there. As my better-half tells it, when it comes to drinking, I’m a “professional” (so is he by the way).
So there are a few challenges ahead. The on-going one is that my better half is still drinking so there will always be wine in the house. And the other is that this weekend we leave for Florida to visit his oldest daughter (who is quite the partier herself) and his brothers who we’ll be watching football with on Sunday. I’ve already declared myself the “designated driver” so I have a legitimate excuse to not drink while we’re away. How silly that I feel like I need to give folks an excuse as to why I’d rather have a seltzer than a glass of wine – but that’s how it is.
So, thanks everybody for this forum and for all of the encouraging stories !!8 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I read 60 pages of the link above by @stubbornloser . Very good so far.
Happy you like it!2 -
How silly that I feel like I need to give folks an excuse as to why I’d rather have a seltzer than a glass of wine – but that’s how it is.
So, thanks everybody for this forum and for all of the encouraging stories !!
I don't think it's silly at all. Whatever helps is completely acceptable. And hopefully in time people around you will be fully supportive. All the best with your trip!
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@donimfp Thank you for your honesty & courage to admit that you are not sure. It sounds to me like you are in a transition and that can be a difficult place to be. Please be assured that admitting your struggle is a contribution to this thread...a valuable one. We all struggle along the way & it is nice to know that we are not alone.
I remember a blurb from Letting Go and it said that "sometimes we have to fall apart to get put back together." AND it is OK!! Sometimes feelings are messy... Good to know that you are lurking too. 3 -
@msmelissb Happy 35 days AF!! Lots of challenges ahead for you, (and the ongoing challenge of having a spouse who is drinking especially if you were drinking partners) but you have a good plan to keep you focused & it sounds like you are determined and have thought things through as far as your obstacles. Great idea to volunteer your DD services. I've done the same thing. I think it helps you in a couple of ways. You have a commitment to be AF for that event and others will appreciate not stressing about a safe ride so likely no pressure from them to join in on the drinking.
I appreciate you sharing and hope you continue to. Have a great visit with your Fam and let us know how things go.3 -
Howdy to the new contributors! Your input keeps our thread fresh and interesting so please post your thoughts. Doni good to see you too. I was wondering how you were doing. I am loving the blog about tired of thinking about drinking. Oh my goodness it certainly resonates with much of what I've been feeling. Thanks for the recommendation, @stubbornloser.6
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@stubbornloser, thank you for sharing the link to Belle Robertson's book. She writes with a clear "voice" and is quite inspiring. She reminded me that I DO indeed want to be AF, and like Clare Pooley, she underscores the obvious fact that Day One's are the hardest, so why keep having them rather than hanging in there and getting to the "good part."
I'm quite sure I'm older than most of the post-ers here. Don't want to assume, but I'm 63. It's just now that my drinking is starting to have odd little health implications that didn't arise during my forties or even fifties. Also, I have a step-sister-in-law who is 70 (Man, that seems OLD, but it's only a few years away for me). She has always looked like a model and literally turned heads when she walked into a restaurant or other public place. I don't know her that well, but I've always noticed that she eats practically nothing (thus the size 2 figure) but definitely enjoys her vodka or bourbon or whatever her regular drink is when I see her--usually after not seeing her for a few years. Her husband, my step-brother, just sent out a plea saying she needs a kidney transplant and is only staying alive by having dialysis 3 times a week. I don't want to be judgmental and assume drinking played a part in this, but my brain can't help recalling what I've observed.
I guess I'm saying this to say that if you are still in your twenties, thirties, forties, or fifties, be thankful that you're attacking this now. Like our friend kelly (can't remember the rest of his handle) who stopped drinking at 61, I feel like I've been given a chance to save myself and look forward to being active well into the next few decades. But going AF at a younger age would have been far better. So maybe that can provide a little extra inspiration if you're struggling.
Y'all are going to be sorry I'm not just "lurking" any more. Sorry for the long post. Have a great day!7 -
I used to like Belle but she tries to sell too much stuff and I was getting annoyed by it2
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@whitpauly, that's funny. That's what happened to me with Annie Grace, who is awesome, but the incessant emails trying to sell me stuff turned me off. I guess if you decide to turn your sobriety into a "business," that is inevitable. I try to just take advantage of the free stuff, like the Sober School and Sexy Sobriety blogs.3
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Howdy to the new contributors! Your input keeps our thread fresh and interesting so please post your thoughts. Doni good to see you too. I was wondering how you were doing. I am loving the blog about tired of thinking about drinking. Oh my goodness it certainly resonates with much of what I've been feeling. Thanks for the recommendation, @stubbornloser.
Glad you're liking it!4 -
Yes!! That really hit home with me too!@stubbornloser, thank you for sharing the link to Belle Robertson's book. She writes with a clear "voice" and is quite inspiring. She reminded me that I DO indeed want to be AF, and like Clare Pooley, she underscores the obvious fact that Day One's are the hardest, so why keep having them rather than hanging in there and getting to the "good part."
I'm 46 and wish I had of clued in to how booze was slowly trying to take over 10 years ago. Better now than neverI guess I'm saying this to say that if you are still in your twenties, thirties, forties, or fifties, be thankful that you're attacking this now. Like our friend kelly (can't remember the rest of his handle) who stopped drinking at 61, I feel like I've been given a chance to save myself and look forward to being active well into the next few decades. But going AF at a younger age would have been far better. So maybe that can provide a little extra inspiration if you're struggling.
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I used to like Belle but she tries to sell too much stuff and I was getting annoyed by it
About a month after i started receiving the daily emails I started to feel annoyed with the sales stuff too. I too was going to unsubscribe. Then I realized that by doing so I was allowing myself to fall into the all-or-nothing thinking that seems to hinder so much of the positive change I want to make in my life. Then I reminded myself that I was getting a lot from the daily FREE emails. I decided just to ignore the sales stuff I wasn't interested in, because the benefits I was getting from the emails far outweighed the wee bit of sales stuff.
The paintings her husband does, which she sells, often catch my eye. I decided that to celebrate my first 100 days booze free I was going to buy one of the paintings as a reminder of how far I've come. Now, I'm just waiting for a colour scheme I like!5 -
Thought I would share a bit about how my weight was affected by stopping the booze.
From July 22 (day 1 booze-free) to Oct 17 my weight went from 226 lbs to 205 lbs. Averages out to about 1.5 pounds per week. I focused on not drinking primarily. I forewarned my family I might be a tad witchy and asked for them to be assertive with me if I was becoming terrible to live with.
I did not track calories during this time, instead I focused on not drinking, portion control, mindfulness, and less junk and restaurant/fast foods. I can’t recall how many times feeling stressed or emotional made me want to turn to food and or booze for comfort – but there were a lot.
Eventually, my mind stopped requesting booze on the regular – a huge win! And I was able to better identify if my mind wanted food because it was feeling stressed, or if my body was actually hungry – another huge win! I still have a knee-jerk reaction to comfort myself with food but being more aware of it really helps me to not listen to it.
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I have noticed (as has my husband) that I argue far less with him when I maintain sobriety. How many times have I fought with him and not remembered a thing and wondered why he was cold to me in the morning? More times than I care to admit. Honestly, I am just finding more and more reasons I want to be sober. Plus I am 56 yrs old and my body really cannot handle it anymore. It was literally poisoning me. I admit I want to be sober for vanity reasons as well. You just LOOK so much better when you haven't been drinking. Also I am finally losing a little weight so that is encouraging.6
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@JenT304 congrats on the weight loss! Funny how we can find so many more reasons to abstain than to drink, eh? I agree that we look so much better when we've not been drinking; less puffy, less red, less dry. I also find I'm less bloated too.5
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I just wanted to put this out there, that there will be a day when alcohol doesn't even register in your mind. I quit about 18 months ago, really didn't have a huge problem, just noticed red flags about drinking........for me. It wasn't years of drinking, just here and there and getting worse every year.
again, were all different, but I noticed as I started drinking wine, I would think about drinking about 12 or 1 in the afternoon. Then about 5 think that I should be drinking....it went from 3 days a week to 5.......also, I never drank a lot, only about 2 - 3 glasses of wine........and wine only ,I cant do hard alcohol, ie, gin , bourbon, vodka.....only wine
I never think about it, matter of fact, when I log in daily, I look to see how things are over here........again, there will come a day.........
I stopped because of the warning signs I had began to feel. I lost a lot of weight and it was slowly creeping back up.....thanks to wine.........I didn't really get shattered or loaded, only made extremely bad decisions about eating ...that is when the weight came back on
I had a tendency to become angry at small things.....not a good sign for a relationship . Also, I had an abusive father who drank and beat us kids when we were small.........I cant forget his beatings and no way would I ever put myself to do the same, although I have no kids, just don't want to be that messed up to do it to anyone....
best wishes, its gets better..........it gets better, just stay focused..............11
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