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The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • tifanotifano Posts: 100Member, Premium Member Posts: 100Member, Premium Member
    @RubyRed427 my heart breaks for your cousin. I have more fun sober than I ever did drinking.

    @lorrainequiche59 I had a very hard time identifying as an alcoholic in the beginning as well. I thought I was exempt because I still had my husband, family, job, house, etc.... But then when I tried to stop at just one bottle (yes not one glass but a bottle) of big beefy red wine I was awful and wanted more. I would usually drink 3-4 bottles in a sitting on the weekends and Wednesday and Thursday at least 2. I had to take sleeping pills to get me to stop at one bottle of wine on Friday and Saturday night the weekend of my controlled drinking experiment. That Sunday the wheels came off and that's when I was finally able to diagnose myself an alcoholic. It took me months to be OK in admitting I was an alcoholic because I just didn't feel like the alcoholic mold (homeless, no teeth, no job, family, etc). Just have the willingness today to just stay sober. More will be revealed. If you haven't already the chapter More About Alcoholism was a life saver for me when I was newly getting sober.
  • lorrainequiche59lorrainequiche59 Posts: 658Member Member Posts: 658Member Member
    @tifano It doesn't really matter to me what label is attached to a drinking problem. I know I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and no desire to pick it up again, so that's all I'm concerned about. I definitely agree with taking each day as it comes, so today, no thank you. I love being sober and free from depending on alcohol to lift my mood. I love being able to get in my car at a moment's notice & drive sober. I love so many things about my life without alcohol in it.

    You mentioned something in your post about the "controlled drinking experiment." I read that in the Big Book and there is an AA FB group and someone on there suggested that...but WHY on earth would that be a suggestion? Especially if the question is whether a person is an alcoholic or not...why would anyone 'risk' drinking again just so they can say, "yep, I know I'm an alcoholic now!!" If someone has successfully given up alcohol, why encourage them to drink again just to label them. What IF they are an alcoholic and that experiment is a slippery slope into years of continued, hard-core drinking for that person? Doesn't make any sense to me. I've been sober well over a year, & I don't feel the need to "prove" anything. The only thing I feel like I need to do is to continue to do all of the things that helped me to stop in the first place and then continue to do those things in order to remain sober. AA is not that for me. It obviously has helped some to clean up their life, and that is wonderful, but it hasn't helped everyone. What is good for one person isn't necessarily good for the next. I'm glad for you but it's not for me. THAT I know. :)
  • lorrainequiche59lorrainequiche59 Posts: 658Member Member Posts: 658Member Member
    @Tifano Please never apologize for sharing. I'm not offended by what you said at all. I am sincerely curious about the logic behind the "controlled drinking experiment" because it is the 3rd time I've run across that. All I'm saying is it doesn't make sense to me. Hope you are ok :)
  • lorrainequiche59lorrainequiche59 Posts: 658Member Member Posts: 658Member Member
    @tifano That is quite a story. Thank you for sharing that. I understand from what you wrote that you were "still" drinking when you decided to try to control your drinking as an experiment. That is different than what was suggested to me on the AA FB site. You weren't sober for a length of time, you were still struggling to stop drinking. That was my point. I've been sober since May 2018...successfully sober. So, again my question, "why on earth would I risk drinking again?" just to "prove" one way or the other whether or not I'm an alcoholic? The only reason I even questioned whether I may be an alcoholic is because as I was sitting in the AA meetings and everyone was identifying as an alcoholic, I was not. So, that is where my questioning began. Am I or aren't I?

    Like I said earlier I don't really care what the label is, but from what I understand to be true AA is for alcoholics, not for people who have other issues with alcohol. What I understand from the Big Book is that alcoholism is different than heavy drinking or habitual drinking...it is a different beast entirely. Several times on the AA site people would say, "There's no shame in admitting your an alcoholic." and I definitely agree with that, but there is also no shame in admitting I am schizophrenic, BUT I am not schizophrenic. So why would I agree with something I don't believe to be true.

    The bottom line for me though is a comment I read that summed it up and that was advice to read 2 specific questions in the first paragraph on page 44 in short #1 not being able to stop entirely when you want to OR #2 not being able to control the amount you drink (absolutely no control from the stories I've read and even from your experience)...and then pay attention to your gut. My gut said Nope not me. At the same time, I definitely developed a heavy drinking habit, but the stories in the Big Book and others do not resonate with me. So that's where I am with this.

    Thank you for clearing up the "controlled drinking experiment." It does make sense if you are struggling with quitting and still insisting that you don't really have a problem. I know I definitely have a problem and that I cannot drink normally, but that doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic, so to go to AA would not be a helpful resource for me. I have other avenues of support that are very helpful to me and this thread is one of them. Thank you again for sharing your story. I hope you continue to share here. <3

    P.S. No apologies here for MY novel...everyone knows I'm a wordy bird! ;) Chirp Chirp...........chirp!! Notice that I didn't say, "quack" ... well maybe a little quacky at times.
  • tifanotifano Posts: 100Member, Premium Member Posts: 100Member, Premium Member
    @tifano That is quite a story. Thank you for sharing that. I understand from what you wrote that you were "still" drinking when you decided to try to control your drinking as an experiment. That is different than what was suggested to me on the AA FB site. You weren't sober for a length of time, you were still struggling to stop drinking. That was my point. I've been sober since May 2018...successfully sober. So, again my question, "why on earth would I risk drinking again?" just to "prove" one way or the other whether or not I'm an alcoholic? The only reason I even questioned whether I may be an alcoholic is because as I was sitting in the AA meetings and everyone was identifying as an alcoholic, I was not. So, that is where my questioning began. Am I or aren't I?

    Like I said earlier I don't really care what the label is, but from what I understand to be true AA is for alcoholics, not for people who have other issues with alcohol. What I understand from the Big Book is that alcoholism is different than heavy drinking or habitual drinking...it is a different beast entirely. Several times on the AA site people would say, "There's no shame in admitting your an alcoholic." and I definitely agree with that, but there is also no shame in admitting I am schizophrenic, BUT I am not schizophrenic. So why would I agree with something I don't believe to be true.

    The bottom line for me though is a comment I read that summed it up and that was advice to read 2 specific questions in the first paragraph on page 44 in short #1 not being able to stop entirely when you want to OR #2 not being able to control the amount you drink (absolutely no control from the stories I've read and even from your experience)...and then pay attention to your gut. My gut said Nope not me. At the same time, I definitely developed a heavy drinking habit, but the stories in the Big Book and others do not resonate with me. So that's where I am with this.

    Thank you for clearing up the "controlled drinking experiment." It does make sense if you are struggling with quitting and still insisting that you don't really have a problem. I know I definitely have a problem and that I cannot drink normally, but that doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic, so to go to AA would not be a helpful resource for me. I have other avenues of support that are very helpful to me and this thread is one of them. Thank you again for sharing your story. I hope you continue to share here. <3

    P.S. No apologies here for MY novel...everyone knows I'm a wordy bird! ;) Chirp Chirp...........chirp!! Notice that I didn't say, "quack" ... well maybe a little quacky at times.

    For me personally I would never suggest someone who’s not had a drop of alcohol for over a year to try the contolled drinking experiment. There have been many people in my AA community who had 10 years plus sobriety who no longer believed they were an alcoholic and could be a normal drinker. Needless to say they aren’t drinking as a normal person would. Like you mentioned before it will likely lead to years of drinking and a slippery slope.

    I’m glad you’ve found what works for you and your AF life ❤️
  • JenT304JenT304 Posts: 498Member Member Posts: 498Member Member
    Thank you, Lloyd. We appreciate your comments.
    I ran across this today.

    https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/ss/slideshow-alcohol-body-effects
  • FeelinFooFooFeelinFooFoo Posts: 3,227Member Member Posts: 3,227Member Member
    I am going to read all the posts that I'v missed. I had another occasion when I drank. It was Saturday just gone past.

    I feel at this moment I am actually settled with occasional drinking. I don't feel out of control but it's definetly something I have to always keep an eye on and I will continue visiting the thread and reading the updates and comments.
  • aroze0928aroze0928 Posts: 138Member Member Posts: 138Member Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    Whoever clicked "disagree" on my comment, you can explain yourself, please.

    Im sure its a matter of someone scrolling through and hitting it by mistake 😺 (wasnt me)
  • RubyRed427RubyRed427 Posts: 2,238Member Member Posts: 2,238Member Member
    @JenT304 person who disagreed was probably one of those trolls who hide behind a screen.
  • lorrainequiche59lorrainequiche59 Posts: 658Member Member Posts: 658Member Member
    @JenT304 Thank you for the article...I was surprised about it affecting a person's hearing, but I think it was related to the part of the brain that alcohol affects. YES, the disagree button may be a hot spot, but if it was intentional, it was a coward who's just trying to be annoying...nothing in your comment was disagreeable other than for someone who doesn't want to acknowledge the role alcohol plays in damaging our body perhaps.

    @lloydrt I found it highly annoying being around drunks when I was drinking so I can imagine how much more annoying when sober. I haven't had to deal with that since I stopped drinking so am thankful. I have been around ones who've had too much to drink, but it brought out the fun side of them and they were just silly not obnoxious.

    Hope everyone is doing well :D
  • Yellowstone1983Yellowstone1983 Posts: 127Member Member Posts: 127Member Member
    I agree with aroze, just like Facebook it's easy to hit one of those by accident.. the disagree button that is
  • lorrainequiche59lorrainequiche59 Posts: 658Member Member Posts: 658Member Member
    Good Morning ALL <3 Today's Letting Go blurb is entitled Healing and it made some points about the gradual process of change...and in part it says, "We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity....We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradual giving way....to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistible challenge of life." Quoted from Joshua Loth Liebman

    So when we're feeling stuck or like we are not making any progress in our journey along the sobriety highway, perhaps we just cannot see our progress yet because we're in the gradual process of changing. Melody explained that, "just as our issues take on a life of their own and are progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things - as well as us - gets better. We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen."

    There's my pep talk for the day and I hope yours also...happy AF day!! :D
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