JUST FOR TODAY -- One Day at a Time .... Daily commitment thread for 2019

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  • awhit4842
    awhit4842 Posts: 236 Member
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    JFT Monday
    1. Log all food
    2. Workout at home
    3. Drink 150oz water
    4. One healthy post dinner snack
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,812 Member
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    JFT - Sunday March 31 Determined
    2L of water - 😒 1.5 which isn’t bad since I didn’t even start drinking my water until after 7 last night
    Calories in green - 😒 not too bad though
    Walk 1 Mile - yes but not purposely
    Plank Challenge - 😒
    5 Fruits and Veggies - 1/5
    Only 1 evening Snack - 😒
    5 something at bathroom break - 😒
    Write in Journal - 😒
    Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices. - 😒


    JFT - Monday April 1 Determined
    2L of water
    Calories in green
    Walk 1 Mile
    Plank Challenge
    5 Fruits and Veggies
    Only 1 evening Snack
    5 something at bathroom break
    Write in Journal
    Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices.

    I don’t have much to catch up on today since I posted last night.

    @PackerFanInGB - I have applied for some temp agencies, nothing yet. It is estimated that 160K people are unemployed in Alberta, I say estimated because it is really based on numbers from people who are on EI, that has run out for a lot of people though. People have also moved out of province. I know I’m not alone, I have friends struggling and trying to raise children in this economy too. It’s just a really tough time.

    That must have been a scary stressful time in your life.

    @Bex953172 - Hugs for your struggles with Saskia. I understand what you mean about Post Partum depression, I don’t remember a lot of my youngest’s first couple of years because of it. Stay strong and dance lots! Whatever you can find to bond.



  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 6,568 Member
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    Checking in from Sunday
    1. Therapy exercises: lunges, push-ups, calf raises. Balance work. Feed cats. Meds. Tea!
    2. Enter grades from classwork. Finish Ivanhoe.
    3. Take recycling. Get gas. Prelog Monday food. Fold laundry.
    4. Park run: Aim for 5 miles (10 laps) in 75 minutes or less. Review plans for after break.
    5. Balance work. Therapy exercises: lunges, push-ups, calf raises. Gratitude journal. Meds. Floss, rinse, brush teeth. In bed by 9:45; devices off by 10:00.

    JFT Monday
    1. Therapy exercises: lunges, push-ups, calf raises. Balance work. Feed cats. Meds. Tea!
    2. email K about capstone project, call E about park work, call Mac store about iMac file retrieval.
    3. Leave for Y by 8:00. BodyPump.
    4. Grade class 2 poetry projects. Enter all poetry project grades. Grade class 4 Socratic discussions and enter.
    5. Read 20 pages of Illuminae and 10 of Capital.
    6. Hopefully I can get the husband to pay bills and run the dishwasher at least once more and mow the lawn.
    7. Put laundry away? Maybe go for a walk together.
    8. Balance work. Therapy exercises: lunges, push-ups, calf raises. Gratitude journal. Meds. Floss, rinse, brush teeth. In bed by 9:45; devices off by 10:00. (Post-break: Review checklist. Read printouts to group members. Study what makes speeches engaging. Evaluate & compare sample speeches.)

    Scale goals
    End of 2017: 174.6
    End of 2018: 189.2
    January 2019: 186.0
    February 2019: 187.0
    Today: 192.3

    Ongoing plans/ideas behind the cut
    1. Purchases: Go to Mac store and see if they can retrieve the files off the iMac. Look for an "ugly Christmas sweater" and a long-haired doll at thrift stores. Practice French braiding. Go to used bookstore and look for Design for How People Learn (Julie Dirksen), On Writing (Stephen King), Dying for a Paycheck (Robin Hardman), The Prince (tr. Tim Parks, Russell Price, or Robert Adams), The Secret Adversary (Christie).
    2. E2: What should the controlling ideas be in a study of world literature? Review world lit options. Create vocabulary lists for each unit that come from the texts used: Animal Farm, Julius Caesar, Wes Moore, I Am Malala. Find a way to incorporate changing words from one part of speech to another. Students need to know how to review multiple sources and synthesize information in order to draw a conclusion. Need practice with the difference between transitions and overlapping (at end of paragraph - "another issue is Y" vs "there are other issues besides X"). Quit using "in conclusion" and "I believe" and other writing-about-my-writing phrases. Confusion between direct/indirect objects and prepositional phrases. Use the UDHR and the Declaration of Independence to study paraphrasing; use that to front-load Machiavelli and how to deal with challenging texts. Confusion between everyday / every day and similar constructions.
    3. E1: Need practice with quoting & paraphrasing sources, identifying claims that would need support, use of last names for reference, and capitalization practice (common/proper nouns, titles). Difficulty using possessive nouns in their own writing. Honors: practice subject/object pronouns (my friend and I / my friend and me).
    4. Curriculum Development: Writing mini-unit. Review scholarly research on 5PE. (I think I can have this as an intro to the research unit so that they also get exposure to how quotes are integrated and cited.) Parallel structure; use of emotional language, specific detail. Use "Write About a Pebble" lesson from Atwell. How long should each unit take? Do research on characteristics: curiosity, persistence, resilience, creativity, responsibility, optimism, courage, integrity, authenticity, leadership, self-awareness, humility, compassion - others? Include grammarly check on essays!
    5. Professional Development: Write blog post weekly. Comment on 3 posts each week -Tu Th Sun? Check with PSC. Talk with Z about articles and/or conference proposals.
    6. Medical: Apr 25 Dentist. Apr 22 McC. Call to set up checkups with Dass (October). GET MAGAZINES FOR COLLAGES FROM DOCTORS.
    7. Theater: Audition for Mamma Mia ??? Need sub for May 2, opening day.
    8. House: Mineral oil on tile spots. Check with D about ceiling.

    WFTY: Climbing. Once again, slowly making progress. Why is it so hard to make progress and so easy to wipe it out? :P I think I'm going to try to grade 8 projects before making my contacts.

    Prelogging is even harder when I can't get the app to cooperate. :P Oh well. I tried.
  • AJB1014
    AJB1014 Posts: 1,380 Member
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    JFT Monday
    1. Be positive and kind
    2. Log all food
    3. Leave the past in the past
    4. Drink 2 waters before leaving
    5. Drink 3 waters at job 2
    6. Follow up with hot tub customer
    7. Follow up with above ground customer
    8. Cook dinner at home
    9. Load of laundry
    10. Run dishwasher
  • cschmitz110515
    cschmitz110515 Posts: 3,522 Member
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    Grrr MFP issues again. Catching up the weekend for self-accountability...

    Recap F 3/29
    1) X-trained [weights/circuit] before work = happy me :smiley:
    2) Move hourly / stairs breaks / 5 somethings = Fitbit 8,845 steps, 250+ 14/14 boom! & 31 floors :smile:
    3) Meals & snacks prelogged / net cals zero / 14c water = Terrible snacking after supper. Net calories -1,668 >:)
    4) Pick up 10K race packets for myself & youngest brother / prep clothes for race = :smiley: & no wristbands required this year :D
    5) Evening: wash dishes :smiley: / declutter more in family room :smile:
    6) Unplug 9:00 / FLOSS REALLY / RETAINERS REALLY / set/verify alarm, bed & tv off 10:20 (be ready when A arrives 8 a.m.) = #6 no recollection & don't care :p

    Recap Sat. 3/30
    1) Walked in Badger State Brewing 10K (youngest brother ran) in 1:28:14 :star: ave. pace 14:12 beat my goal < 1:30 and very happy me (winds picked up midway & snow flurries at end ~ still great event, followed by beer!)
    2) Afternoon had taxes meeting w/ M & hubby, ate early dinner at Olive Garden & I drank wine (yes, after beer in a.m. :p ). Depending on which calorie burn I use, net calories -333 per MFP walking at v brisk pace 88 min. or net cals green 505 per Fitbit for day! :p This is why I don't get so hung up on the MFP numbers sometimes, everything is not as precise as we think it is! :D
    3) Fitbit 17,748 steps, 250+ 11/14 (drive time to M's, meeting, dinner) & 64 floors :smiley:

    Recap Sun. 3/31 ~ Rest day w/ cool temps & wind chills
    1) Month end w-i & measurements taken & logged on MFP :neutral: at least I remembered
    2) Bible class & church o:)
    3) Hubby time & Captain Marvel movie :smiley:
    4) Made wild rice & chicken bake for supper / TOO. MUCH. SNACKING. after supper / net calories -1,026 :s

    JFT M 4/1 ~ Wintry mix possible & we have seen snow flurries this morning ~ ACK!
    1) Walked dog pre-dawn before work & stretched after / 3.09 mi 54:27 / heard lots of birds: song, ducks, geese, turkeys, cranes & saw beautiful sunrise pre-clouds = happy dog & happy me B)
    2) Move hourly / stairs breaks / 5 somethings
    3) Update monthly goals on JFT
    4) Meals & snacks prelogged / net calories zero / 14c water
    5) Evening: AO dropping off projector & box / wash towels (start ASAP) / put away clean dishes / declutter something / other?
    6) Unplug 9:00 / floss / retainers / set/verify early alarm, bed & tv off 10:20 (walk dog before work T)
  • mytime6630
    mytime6630 Posts: 4,222 Member
    edited April 2019
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    Monday Weigh In

    "DISCIPLINE"[/i]. Because I know that is what I need ... the discipline to do mindful eating, the discipline to look up calories ahead of time, the discipline to get to the gym regularly, the discipline to drink my water, and the discipline to never give up.[/i][/b]


    Weekly Weigh - in
    5'11" tall
    67 yrs old
    Goal weight: 170

    Year 2017
    Jan 1: 217
    Feb 1: 211
    March 1: 205.4
    April 1: 202.6
    May 1: 204.6
    June 1: 200.4
    July 1: 199.2
    August 1: 195.6
    Sept 1: 192.8
    October 1: 191.8
    November 1: 187.7
    December 1: 193.5


    [/spoiler]

    Year 2018
    January 1: 195.5
    Feb 1 : 190.2
    March 1 : 193.6
    April 1: 197.6
    May 1: 197.2
    June 1: 194.6
    July 1: 189.8
    August 1: 190.7
    Sept 1: 194.7
    October 1: 196.6
    November 5: 200.1
    December 3: 200.0
    Dec 15: 207

    Every year from Halloween until New Years I seem to gain weight. It is a combination of seasonal depression/ missing loved ones (having lost 4 of my siblings who I was very close to), and just missing the big family get togethers. Upset with myself, but I feel uncontrollable in this ... this is one of my main goals to learn this new year.

    Year 2019

    January 1, 2019: 206
    Feb 1, 2019: 201.6
    Feb 8: 206.6 --- my own fault.
    Feb 25: 204.2
    March 4: 205 - joined WW for 3 months to kick start my weight loss.
    March 11: 201.4
    March 25: 198.6
    April 1: 196.8 - Missed my goal by almost 7 pounds, but at least going in the right direction finally!

    Non-scale related goals 2019:
    1. learn how to stop/control binge eating
    2. learn how to manage stress/emotional eating
    3. keep up a gratitude journal everyday
    4. consistently learn and be better at planning meals for the week .... make this a regular thing to do
    5. consistently continue with exercising 5x a week. Be more confident in how I look.
    6. make drinking water a daily habit ... not something I have to work at.
    7. Reach my goal weight .... then learn how to maintain it!! -- DO not gain weight at the end of the year!

    Weight goals 2019:
    Feb: 200 -- Almost made this goal!
    March: 195
    April: 190 -- 1st Mini Goal in time for our 43rd wedding anniversary!!
    May: 185
    June: 180 -- 2nd mini goal
    July: 175-- 4th of July party at our sons
    August: 170 -- GOAL REACHED!!!!
  • Faebert
    Faebert Posts: 1,588 Member
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    mytime6630 wrote: »
    Monday Weigh In

    "DISCIPLINE"[/i]. Because I know that is what I need ... the discipline to do mindful eating, the discipline to look up calories ahead of time, the discipline to get to the gym regularly, the discipline to drink my water, and the discipline to never give up.[/i][/b]


    Weekly Weigh - in
    5'11" tall
    67 yrs old
    Goal weight: 170

    Year 2017
    Jan 1: 217
    Feb 1: 211
    March 1: 205.4
    April 1: 202.6
    May 1: 204.6
    June 1: 200.4
    July 1: 199.2
    August 1: 195.6
    Sept 1: 192.8
    October 1: 191.8
    November 1: 187.7
    December 1: 193.5


    [/spoiler]

    Year 2018
    January 1: 195.5
    Feb 1 : 190.2
    March 1 : 193.6
    April 1: 197.6
    May 1: 197.2
    June 1: 194.6
    July 1: 189.8
    August 1: 190.7
    Sept 1: 194.7
    October 1: 196.6
    November 5: 200.1
    December 3: 200.0
    Dec 15: 207

    Every year from Halloween until New Years I seem to gain weight. It is a combination of seasonal depression/ missing loved ones (having lost 4 of my siblings who I was very close to), and just missing the big family get togethers. Upset with myself, but I feel uncontrollable in this ... this is one of my main goals to learn this new year.

    Year 2019

    January 1, 2019: 206
    Feb 1, 2019: 201.6
    Feb 8: 206.6 --- my own fault.
    Feb 25: 204.2
    March 4: 205 - joined WW for 3 months to kick start my weight loss.
    March 11: 201.4
    March 25: 198.6
    April 1: 196.8 - Missed my goal by almost 7 pounds, but at least going in the right direction finally!

    Non-scale related goals 2019:
    1. learn how to stop/control binge eating
    2. learn how to manage stress/emotional eating
    3. keep up a gratitude journal everyday
    4. consistently learn and be better at planning meals for the week .... make this a regular thing to do
    5. consistently continue with exercising 5x a week. Be more confident in how I look.
    6. make drinking water a daily habit ... not something I have to work at.
    7. Reach my goal weight .... then learn how to maintain it!! -- DO not gain weight at the end of the year!

    Weight goals 2019:
    Feb: 200 -- Almost made this goal!
    March: 195
    April: 190 -- 1st Mini Goal in time for our 43rd wedding anniversary!!
    May: 185
    June: 180 -- 2nd mini goal
    July: 175-- 4th of July party at our sons
    August: 170 -- GOAL REACHED!!!!

    Wow @mytime6630 - that’s over 8 pounds this month! Great loss. I think you can still hit your August goal or close to it. Hang in there!! X
  • maryrobinson40
    maryrobinson40 Posts: 1,109 Member
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    johicks wrote: »
    @maryrobinson40 ~ Thanks for the morning rah rah!!
    @littleblackskirt ~ My clothes are also getting snug and I refuse to buy anything bigger. So, here we go!!

    🌹 WELCOME!! GLAD TO HAVE YOU!!! YIPPIEEEEE
    @johicks
    I'm Mary. 54.
  • maryrobinson40
    maryrobinson40 Posts: 1,109 Member
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    I have a follow up appointment at the doctor in the morning.
    My youngest thinks she's pregnant... Doctor appointment is in the
    works for her. I have to admit that under normal circumstances I
    would be bubbling over with that news, but the circumstances are not
    normal. So stay tuned for NANNA, YES or NO the next edition... Lol…
  • ZizzyBumble
    ZizzyBumble Posts: 1,679 Member
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    Monday 1 April

    I missed yesterday but had a great day enjoying the spring sunshine and eating rich food. Today was a early start and I did not have time to get on here before a days travel south. I've just about been staying at the top of my maintenace range despite being away and cooking treats. Tomorrow I will return to a deficit with the intention of getting back to my lower maintenance target before my next break when I will be entertaining and likely to eat and drink too much! For me, maintanence seems to be a continual yoyo of being a piggy and then needing to cut back!

  • ZizzyBumble
    ZizzyBumble Posts: 1,679 Member
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    Congratulations @mytime6630. Despite the challenging times and temptations you've described, you must have been "disciplined" to have achieved your monthly loss!
  • cschmitz110515
    cschmitz110515 Posts: 3,522 Member
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    Walking dog this morning and seeing a beautiful sunrise. The photo doesn't do it justice. And yes, that is snow in the ditch, and we had snow flurries today. Some April fool's joke.
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
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    @nlmackey98 Although I don't have kids myself, this is so inspiring to read! It's awesome that you have found a way to show your daughter that you love her. Kids say those hurtful things not because they want you to feel guilty but to challenge you to prove them wrong. Which is just what you did. So awesome!
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
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    @Snowflake1968
    I can totally relate to what you're going through with your husband. I know how deep my husband feels about me, and yet, there are some trivial things that I feel like I need to turn the Earth upside down to get from him.

    This might sound like bad advice, but, since it's very hard (or impossible) to control acts of other people, can you focus on what can you do for him, how can you show him your love and appreciation? Importantly, in a way that he needs and can recognize it as a loving act.
    Maybe you two are stuck in a "deadlock" where both of you are waiting for the other's support. Since I can't talk to him, I am advising you to make the first move. Even though he might not be your ideal person at the moment, I believe he has some great qualities that you got attracted to once.
  • johicks
    johicks Posts: 1,991 Member
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    JFT ~Monday (PM post)
    Morning Affirmations √
    Check~in w/MFP pals √
    Track √
    10 Min am Exercise, plus Stretching √ I did 12m Exercise + 3m stretching
    10 Min clean something before work √ I did 15m
    Plan meals/Snacks √
    Park in town √
    Walk to mom’s & back (?10 min) √ I did 20m
    Work √
    Put Night plan into effect to not binge:
    Change clothes, brush hair, wash face √
    Eat dinner mindfully at table - plopped on the couch, but did eat mindfully; I plated my dinner this morning.
    Drink hot tea √
    Go to bed & Say “Kitchen Closed!” - tea in hand, book to read, and KITCHEN IS CLOSED!
  • mytime6630
    mytime6630 Posts: 4,222 Member
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    I get so far behind on all the posts... but I think of all of you, and love how close this group has become!

    I have been doing so well until last nite. Last weekend I had ONE bad nite where I got into stuff, but I was able to use all the "discipline" I had to get back on track, and lost at my weigh in. So for my first month with WW, I lost 9.6 pounds, so I am very happy about that.
    Then I got home friday nite ... and ate. But ate more on saturday! Hubby was having friends over, and I still had chocolate cookie dough in the refrigerator .. so I figured I would get rid of it, bake all the cookies for his friends. With 5 guys coming over .. wouldn't you think they would eat about 18 cookies ... that was all I made. But no, they went for the cheese and crackers .. I think like 4 cookies were eaten. So now I had almost a dozen cookies left. Hubby told me to get rid of them... but I figured, I'd just freeze them for next weekend when friends are coming over.
    Do you guys know how good frozen cookies are!! LOL! Well, they are good. I went outside for a walk, and a neighbor, who is a real jerk, said some sarcastic things to me about our ditch in the back that the city is fixing. I was so upset ... hubby was gone, so no one to vent to. So, without even thinking, I grabbed THREE cookies. Without even thinking. And ... I was still upset with the neightbor. But ... instead of eating more, I stopped myself, went outside and took out my frustrations raking leaves. I got a ton of work done!
    So then hubby comes homes, and decided lets go out to eat. Again, I made good choices ... a chicken breast and brocolli. We even told them not to bring the free bread to the table. So all good ... right! No!! Daughter comes out, gets the cookies out, and eats about 4 of them, but leaves them on the kitchen table. So after my daughter left, I was going to freeze the last 3 cookies ... but you can't just freeze 3 cookies. So ... I ate them! This is the first time I have been this "bad" in almost 5 weeks, and I was so mad at myself.
    But... the good thing is that today I did great. I ate a low-calorie breakfast, a simple sandwich for lunch, and just chicken and beets for dinner. And ... I went to the gym in the morning, raked leaves for almost 2 hours, and now I am heading outside for a walk. So I hope I do not gain next friday, but if I do, that is the price I paid. But I am proud that maybe I am figuring this out ... and able to put aside a bad day, and get right back on track!

    So, my goals tomorrow will be similar to my goals today (even though I forgot to post last nite).
    1. go to the gym
    2. mindful eating
    3. 8+ water
    4. only 1 nite time snack
    5. 15 minutes outside
    6. eat slowly
    7. keep the long term goal in mind ... a healthier body, but that will not happen overnite. Slow and steady, with ups and downs. Some days bad, but hope that most days are good.
  • mytime6630
    mytime6630 Posts: 4,222 Member
    edited April 2019
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    @nlmackey98 -- that is such a beautiful story you shared about your daughter. You are a terrific, loving mom. I am so happy that you have this closeness to your daughter. Your story made me cry ... just beautiful, and thank you for sharing!

    @cschmitz110515 - beautiful picture! But oh my ... snow on the ground yet!! We have been getting tons of rain, but thankfully, finally in the 50s!

    @ZizzyBumble - so happy you had a good day yesterday. THere is nothing like sunshine to brighten our days! Maintenance is the hardest to do ... so proud of you!

    @maryrobinson40 -- hugs to you dear Mary! Whatever the outcome of your daughter test, praying for you all.

    @Snowflake1968 - I am so sorry about your troubles with you and your husband. My husband and I have been married going on 44 years. When we are under stress, that is when we seem to argue the most. And most of the time, it is about small things, or things that under normal circumstances would not be cause for arguing. You have been through so much the past few years.. both with job changes, having a job where you were not treated well, and now the stress of being able to find a job. I hope you can both just go somewhere quiet, with maybe a glass of wine, and remember what brought you together, and kept you together all those years. Hugs to you

    @johicks - welcome! So happy you found us!

    @littleblackskirt - so happy to see you back! We missed you!

    @bookmeister86 -- great loss!! You are showing us all how it is done!

    @azulvioleta6 - I remember how you loved to garden also! The best therapy in the world ... and a great way to add steps!


    @Bex953172 - I can just picture you dancing, only to look up and see water coming out the light fixture!! OMG!! I would be so scared of you all getting electrocuted!! Thankfully you are all OK, and hopefully this will get fixed soon!

    Well... as you can see, I am SO far behind! But if I want to get my walk in, I best get going!
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,108 Member
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    nlmackey98 wrote: »
    Things in life are chaotic and I don't do chaotic well. I'm trying to slow things down and eliminate the stupid stuff. Unfortunately I can't get of my coworkers. Anyway, the morning was not so great, but I'm going to put that away and make this evening good.

    JFT Monday (evening)
    Stay away from the vending machine.
    Leave work at 6:00pm (silly project has me here late)
    Leave the candy dish at home closed
    Do at least 2 loads of laundry
    Oldest home at 7:00ish
    Youngest home at 8:15ish
    Eat a moderate dinner with the family (Hubby is cooking meatloaf. Not exciting, but ok.)
    Leave the candy dish closed
    Snack on fruit if I need a treat.
    To bed by 10:30

    JFT Tuesday morning
    Up at 3:30 to go to the gym for the first time in a month.
    Leave the candy dish closed
    Shower & get ready for work
    Be at work by 8:00
    I'll figure the rest out tomorrow...

    @Bex953172 My youngest, V, is 13 (almost 14). She and I never bonded like my oldest and I did. I like order. I thrive on order. She is beautiful and creative and messy and LOUD. I didn't know what to do with that, and emotionally I didn't have the energy to figure it out. I've struggled a lot with depression and mania since she was born, so I haven't always been there when I should have been. She has told me she doesn't think I love her as much as her sister, because that is where I spent all of my time, that I don't love her because she isn't "perfect" like her sister, and that I just don't love her at all. A few times these things were said in anger. Other times they were heartfelt pleas that I had no answer to. Nothing was further from the truth. Her sister was just more involved in things that needed my physical presence. She was just more like me. V & I just had nothing in common because when she was young I didn't speak her language. I tell her, from my heart, all of the time that I love her and that she is my Sunshine. V can always brighten my day whether with a smile or a witty comment. She could never see it. Her personality lights up my world and drives me crazy at the same time. She never thought I was proud of her. It broke my heart. As I type this, it still breaks my heart.

    Then last year something amazing happened, we found a common "language". She became interested in theater. I used to do some work behind the scenes, so I volunteered to help with her production. Not to brag, but I am very good at designing and creating sets/props. (Bonus, it's actually therapeutic for me.) V began to see that I took her interests seriously and spent time on them. Time is valuable in our world and she appreciates that. She liked that her mom "made" this or that and that I would run lines with her. I liked that she would come down the garage and help or just talk to me. We are closer now than we have ever been. Most girls turn away from their mom in their teenage years, my daughter is finally turning towards me. I tried for years to build a relationship with her and all it took was time. My time, spent on her passion, with focus and purpose. I never realized that the only part of me she ever got was my leftover exhausted self until just now, but that's exactly what it was. She needed prime time. She needed to be the focus. Such an obvious thing. Why could I not see it.

    I guess what I'm getting at is don't give up. This child knows every button to push to drive me up the wall. She is clever and quick witted and often makes me laugh so hard I let her punishments slide. I have cried and screamed and prayed to find a way to show her I loved her. It took 13 years, but we are laying a strong foundation now.

    Thank you for posting this, i have cried and begged and shouted with my partner to help me find a way to bond rather than have a go, obviously he knows WHY i have all these struggles with her, but he can see her for the little girl she is and i cant.
    He said he cant help, he said he wont tell me what i need to do because its something me and her need to sort and it will build a stronger bond between us if its just me and her sorting it out (and i guess hes right, i need to figure out the change i need to make not get someone else to do it for me) But he said he would help by intervening if it got too much so the progress doesnt go backwards, especially if shes being a right pain, and hes backing me up alot more now im being more reasonable.
    I do love her, alot. But at times despite loving her to bits i can really dislike her. But thats because of me, ive created that and not just physically, but emotionally and mentally.
    Shes a back chatter, a slob, lazy, undisciplined and downright rude at times! And they are my traits! Its basically like disliking myself!
    So i know i cant ask her to change I need to change!

    It comes so naturally with Marley and Casey, i have totally screwed up with her and i know that, i made a right mess at parenting her but im just glad i can try now.

    But your story has givdn me the hope i needed that if you can do it when shes 14, i can do it when shes 5!
    Thank you for sharing xxx
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,108 Member
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    mytime6630 wrote: »
    This is the first time I have been this "bad" in almost 5 weeks, and I was so mad at myself.
    .

    Oh Joan! Right... dont take this the wrong way BUT you used to have "bad" days a couple of times a week if not more.

    And this is the first time in 5 weeks!!!

    Im sorry but youre doing brilliantly, and then youve kicked butt this morning

    Oh and you said you STOPPED eating and did some rage-raking! (Omg arent rage-housework moments the best LOL you get do much done so fast and no one dares interrupt that *kitten*!)
    You stopped eating, and did something else, YOU actually STOPPED.
    I cant recall a time where you havent been able to stop once you started when theres been an emotion behind it!

    Take a look at the bigger picture!! youve done it Joan! Youve conquered the process and youre learning from your mistakes and fixing them, not wallowing in them.
    Youve got everything you need to achieve your goals!
    So proud of you and you should be too!

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