WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2020
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Margaret- Yeah seems scary how they even have people not sick running out of food but won’t allow food in out of fear.
Amber Tx0 -
Margaret Me too. Not sure what my days would be like without you all.2
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Karen- Agree 100%! You guys get me through the lowest days .
https://youtu.be/luztqxUBvZo A day in Wuhan quarantine zone Guy not Chinese citizen so guess he’s allowed to film.
Amber Tx1 -
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lots to think about and respond to. Will try to do that tonight. At work now.
Kylua in ohio where the sun is on strike1 -
Heather ~ I had to look up squid...Ugh! I don't think I could eat one of those.
Suicide: I have had several times in my life when I thought about it mostly due to depression. But, it would be totally against my religion and I would not want to hurt my family.
My new dishwasher got delivered yesterday and now is being installed. My husband is the most negative person you could ever meet. He has questioned every step of getting the dishwasher and getting it installed (I am the one who initiated the buying and having it installed). I am a wreck after listening to all his doubts. Next time something breaks, he is going to have to handle the whole thing.
Carol in GA
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Pg 84 done. I’ll catch up while doing laundromat in a bit.
RV Rita2 -
Welcome back Lin.
I'm an old timer. 
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx0 -
Allie - I think the walk to work will do him good. He might realize that he needs a full time job or another part time! This might be the push he needs.4
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Carol
Sorry your husband is such a pill.
(((Hugs)))
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I feel as if the day, supportive or not, kinda went sideways into a gray place for all of us--sorry if I was part of causing that, it was genuinely not my intent.
Love,
Lisa in AR5 -
OK, first day ladies with My Fitness Pal. Just was diagnosed with diabetes and need to lose at least 30 lbs. I have never been on a diet for more than a month as I usually don't follow it closely and end up not losing so I give up. Not going to do that to myself. I broke by foot in August and just getting back to walking without pain or swelling, I also just got a new job and they have a fitness center so I have no excuses. I started the first of the year and have only lost 3 lbs, and this time I have really tried to stick to the plan. I know its the end of January but hoping this ladies over 50 continues.6
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Our skies are gray here. Despite my stress I do not consider myself in a gray place. I am enjoying a great cup of coffee and enjoying looking at some yellow mums I bought last week.3
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LisaInAR-What are you longing for?
I have been longing for the same thing for many, many years. Not to sound like William Wallace or MLK, Jr; but I am longing for freedom. This doesn't mean freedom from my work, or my husband (god love him). I just long for the freedom to plan, do, go as I please. Most decisions I make I do have to run by my hubby and we are a very yin and yang type couple. He is my own personal devil's advocate and sometimes dark cloud. The things that make me feel exhilarated and excited (like the thought of going skydiving) send him into a pit of despair. The other glitch in my bid for freedom is the financial part of it. I am still working on being financially free to plan, do, and go. So hard to have wings on your soul and an anchor on your self. I will get there. It is just going to take a couple more years.
You sound B like a mirror of my life! I gave up longing for this type of freedom and just work a little at a time towards my wish. Made it a long term goal.
I long for my children to come visit me instead of the other way around. And for my step-daughters (2) to talk to their father again.
RV Rita
Ps. Was sick most of January. Better now. Went for yearly checkup. Great report! Low carb, no grains or sugar paying off! We use stevia for sweetener in everything. My DH is the chef and uses it in tomato sauce too. Works for us!4 -
1948Peachy wrote: »Heather ~ I had to look up squid...Ugh! I don't think I could eat one of those.
Suicide: I have had several times in my life when I thought about it mostly due to depression. But, it would be totally against my religion and I would not want to hurt my family.
My new dishwasher got delivered yesterday and now is being installed. My husband is the most negative person you could ever meet. He has questioned every step of getting the dishwasher and getting it installed (I am the one who initiated the buying and having it installed). I am a wreck after listening to all his doubts. Next time something breaks, he is going to have to handle the whole thing.
Carol in GA
My DH stuffs squid and cooks it in a tomato sauce. Yummy! I had real suicidal thoughts with my first husband but didn’t want to leave my kids in his care. They were the only reason I didn’t go through with it. More recently, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown with anxiety attacks that had me suicidal about 5 years ago. I found I’ve healed from all of that since moving to living in an RV full time and volunteering at this park. I’m the happiest and most content I’ve ever been.
Negativity in DH might give yours a run for his money Carol! Lol. Even his doctor said he was the most negative person he has ever met!
Took whole hour of laundromat but I managed to finally catch up! Yay me!
RV Rita8 -
Did Kathy Smith’s Build Muscle Shrink Fat DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to do a DVD for the bosu
Volunteered at the Green Room then went to Food Lion. Didn’t realize that it was the small box of Cheerios that were on sale. Not much of a sale. Then home.
This morning I opened the package of Bubba vege burgers. I didn’t realize they weren’t precooked so I tried cooking them in the microwave. They never did cook. Unfortunately, I put them on for 5 minutes and it burned. Plus, it melted the food cover that I had. When will I learn to take the cover out of the microwave before using it? Now the house is smokey. I opened the porch door but Vince wanted me to close it. Wound up cooking them on the stovetop. Which reminds me that I have to clean it
M – great job on that race! You are so right…thank goodness for online menus
Lisa AR – the doc thinks your weight has something to do with it? But you aren’t THAT heavy, not at all.
Lin – so great to see you!
Pick – welcome! At the end of this month, Barbie will post a link for posts for the next month. We go on and on and on and on. Just be sure to bookmark this site so you can come back
Longing – how I wish I could see PJ! Even skyping would be fine.
Rita – I’m so sorry you were sick but glad you’re better now
Michele NC
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Hey lovely peeps.
Sending lots of hugs. Many, many strong ladies here
Lanette
SW WA State5 -
Heather - I am with you on the partners and food. I love to cook and my mister eats whatever I put in front of him. I have a friend who has the palate of a 5 year old...chicken strips, cheese pizza, mac & cheese, bread...He would drive me nuts.
Allie - I think he should walk to work. 2ish miles each way is good exercise for him!
Headed out for a run on this Santa Ana day. Will have to get used to it. Our only car went out of service in a big way yesterday.
Tina in CA
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LuciBThinner wrote: »Karen Thank you for your input on assisted suicide. I grew up with my Dad being bipolar (and my first abuser). He threatened suicide from the time I was 10. I have also struggled with depression and anxiety over the years, but suicidal thoughts stopped when I had my children. I could never do that to them! My friend apparently stepped in front of a train...such a tragic ending. That is why I wish she could have had medication to end things peacefully! 😭 Still interested in everyone else's feelings on this subject!
On a happier note, I am taking care of my DG today...5 1/2 weeks old now. My how she changes from week to week!! She is such a happy baby!
Luci (still struggling a bit) in WNC
I am sorry for your loss, Luci. That is horrible -- a very difficult thing to deal with.
Re: Assisted Suicide: I do believe people should be allowed to die with dignity. My husband and I just dealt with some of this with his mother. She was on hospice at the end, and all they were doing is making her feel comfortable. None of her regular medicines were administered in the last week. She couldn't eat or drink. He said she did seem peaceful. But some of his family (aunt and niece) are a little miffed because we didn't have her on life support. They couldn't understand why she wasn't on IVs or oxygen or or or. Now my husband is struggling with that, too. "If we had had her in a regular nursing home, she could have had life support," is what he is struggling with. But I believe it is much better this way. She would never have wanted to commit suicide, she wanted to cling to every shred of life -- and I don't mean in a good way -- but I do think her body was ready to go, even if she still wanted everyone to do everything possible to keep her here. Her body was done. I believe she had a dignified death. She followed a natural course.
So I guess I believe people should be able to choose their exit. I don't see myself choosing that route, but just because I wouldn't doesn't mean that I believe others shouldn't have the opportunity if they want. Does that make sense?
Flea
Willamette Valley, Oregon4 -
Good afternoon!
My pup is not doing well. At his last appointment, the vet diagnosed the beginning of a heart condition. We think it is progressing -- lots of coughing, heavy breathing, trouble sleeping. He still runs around to chase the cat, but sometimes, when she comes to him to try to egg him on (She steps on his tail or swats him in the face to get his attention), he has snapped at her. Not aggressively -- just a back off kind of thing. Not like him. He is always up for a romp around the living room with the cat. And how bad of a person am I that I have not cried for my mil (although I have cried with my son and husband because they were sad), but typing the text to the vet that we need to come in has me all teary. He has an appointment tomorrow morning.
Last week, my OSU son went to the emergency room. After driving down there in a panic because his friends couldn't tell me what was wrong, only that I needed to get down there "ASAP," it appears that he had a gallbladder attack. He had three that week (!), the last one sending him to the ER. His liver enzymes are off and his white blood cell count was elevated, so they did an ultrasound and saw the stone. He is changing his diet (no more greasy pizzas, hamburgers, and ramen noodles), and he has been instructed to follow up with his pcp. He doesn't have a break until March 20, but he said he can make it until then. The ER doc said it is not an emergency.
And work . . . oh dear. So much anxiety. After not moving along in the job search I applied for at the other institution, I may be getting a big promotion here. I literally almost threw up on my walk back to my office from my boss's office. It is not a sure thing, at all, and wouldn't be for 8 or 20 months, but it still sent me into an anxiety spiral. Deep breathing.
My weight has stabilized, so I feel like I am ready to head back down again.
Prayers for my son are appreciated. He did not need this since he is trying to work himself out of academic warning status.
On a positive note, after days and days of rain, the sun is actually out today!
Flea
Willamette Valley, Oregon6 -
My alcoholic,demonically abusive father committed suicide when I was very young.He was never nice to us and I’m stoic about his leaving-I don’t miss what I never had.And it meant there would be no more beatings.But that’s when my monster Really started living for herself as her “friends “told her she should.Different men in and out the house and different abuse.Shed gone off on one her usual weekend away and left me alone.I had No one .I had been hospitalized with 3 bleeding ulcers a hiatal hernia and acid reflux like nobody.I was 13.So I had plenty of pills in the house and monster had plenty of booze.I figured I’d had enough and no other escape.Obviously it didn’t work and she never knew.I have moments when it crosses my mind but I can’t inflict that pain on my family.Ive lost a couple dear friends to suicide 😔.And just in the past couple days list a couple good friends 😔😔.Ive been skimming through and wasn’t going to say anything because my life has been SO messed up.I still feel so damaged and have no one to talk to and hate to burden y’all beautiful ladies with itSorry for the mini novel.
Debby in Va14 -
If you feel the urge (I know I did) please answer Lisa's question " What do you long for?" And also give input on assisted suicide as Luci requested. Both important topics. BUT... you know me...going to flip our little thread and get some good mojo going into February. Here is my question to you, What makes your heart skip a beat? You know...the things that make you extraordinarily happy/proud. The things that make you want to spin, flex your muscles, do a back flip? Tell me!4
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Workoutahloic50 wrote: »My alcoholic,demonically abusive father committed suicide when I was very young.He was never nice to us and I’m stoic about his leaving-I don’t miss what I never had.And it meant there would be no more beatings.But that’s when my monster Really started living for herself as her “friends “told her she should.Different men in and out the house and different abuse.Shed gone off on one her usual weekend away and left me alone.I had No one .I had been hospitalized with 3 bleeding ulcers a hiatal hernia and acid reflux like nobody.I was 13.So I had plenty of pills in the house and monster had plenty of booze.I figured I’d had enough and no other escape.Obviously it didn’t work and she never knew.I have moments when it crosses my mind but I can’t inflict that pain on my family.Ive lost a couple dear friends to suicide 😔.And just in the past couple days list a couple good friends 😔😔.Ive been skimming through and wasn’t going to say anything because my life has been SO messed up.I still feel so damaged and have no one to talk to and hate to burden y’all beautiful ladies with itSorry for the mini novel.
Debby in Va
I am so sorry, Debby. I am thankful that you are here. And you are no burden at all. On the contrary, you are valued and seen.
Flea
Willamette Valley, Oregon2 -
Debby my hearts goes out to you!
As a child you had no safe place. Now as an adult you can create those safe places for yourself. Healing the scars from our childhood takes a village. Know you are not alone. As I said to Luci in a personal message. You can know in your head that your father was ill the emotional impact is much harder to heal.
You are not a burden. Just giving voice to your pain can start the healing process.
To answer your question Kelly...Singing is the number one thing can pull me from the darkest cloud...Getting into the zone when I paint also transcends me to a place of contentment...Getting those hugs from students who are placed in my care Bliss!4 -
Debby VA- We’ve all been in your boat very few to none of us had an ideal childhood to many of our adult years have been dark. The struggle is real none of us should ever feel guilty for having a moment where we felt down. We deserve it as survivors! We been told our feelings should be hidden too long! That’s why we’re attracted to each other our hearts are 1 in the same. Healing together y as we grow helps us all. One person mentioning their past to feelings just proves to the rest of us were not alone in the exact same struggles. The world says it’s wrong to have certain feelings yet we ALL have had them at least once or a family member who has.
Assisted suicide- I’m against it for Children. I was so I’ll as a kid I would have opted for it my children would never have been born. I live with chronic pain y illness ,but my tolerance level is way way better as an adult than as a kid. As a kid I could not picture this future especially since Doctors were telling me I would not have children at all 0% chance. After an abuser instead of a Husband I couldn’t picture Love that I have now. Life’s hard but I have lots to live for especially for JR.
For an Adult I feel a non- resuscitation order is a positive thing I have had one in the past. Canceled it when I became pregnant with JR! Hubby refuses to use it anyways. Got it if needed that rare Coma incident,but not using it. That is a form of assisted suicide in a way to some.I see it as dying naturally like in some cultures where an older person goes off alone to die in peace no food or water no meds (pets do it too sometimes even elephants). I think it’s something personal between you y God as a family or individual only.
I think many of us can say we long for acceptance for 100% of who we are even the parts deep under the surface hidden from view. The things society would frown on from our past to illness to even what we look like without a hair piece or makeup. It’s something God can give but ,everyone else falls short of when we need it most.
Amber Tx
Thinking of turning my family’s late invitation down.Im tired of it rather spend Saturday as a family not in a situation where I’m feeling like I was last to be invited with zero time to get a gift 🎁 so I’d look like I just came for the food or something. Feel grateful to be included. I’m in my period maybe I can’t be bothered with this nonsense this time . I won’t be in the background of a photo. JR upset around strangers especially a lot of them haven’t tried to get to know him. Which makes it harder to attend. As long as my kids y Hubby are happy close bonded that’s all that matters I’m not a kid no more.5 -
margaretturk wrote: »Allie and Kelly I have accepted stress is just a part of my life. Like yesterday I went through what I would rate as a 10 stress for me in a scale from 1-10. When I hit the melt down point I went up into my bedroom and then played meditation music for 45 minutes. (a tool from my backpack)
Since I recovered well enough I went to choir. ( Another addition to my backpack)
I went to bed at 9. (another addition to my backpack)
Yes the stress is still there. I can only do my part to try and find a ways to not add to the stress and to find solutions that will help with the problem. What I can do for myself is keep adding to my own backpack or taking out tools that work for me, so that I have the energy and patience to handle the stress the best that I can.
Today I was thinking about the soldiers in the middle of a war and how hard it must be for them to sleep. I thought they must learn how to sleep among that chaos. If they don't they are more likely to be killed or to go insane. My stakes are similar in a way I must learn to find respite when times are tough or I may risk of getting hurt or my risk of going insane increases. Without my health any problem I might be facing becomes ten times worse.
That is why when I meet someone who is going through a crisis I ask them what they are doing for themselves. An example was a friend in choir whose husband at the age of 58 just lost his job. Both of them are losing health care. Her husband has asthma. She just lost a niece to anorexia. She is at a 10 on the stress meter. We talked about taking time for her... a walk in a green space...quiet music. Myself and another friend listened as she problem solve her insurance issues. Is her stress gone? No! Hopefully these things will help her better cope and help her find solutions that will work for her.
I told her I too am in a crisis but did not go into my details just that I am trying to walk the talk of doing something for me. I told her about listening to meditation music for 45 minutes and what a difference that made for me.
Being part of this group definitely adds to my backpack. Margaret
My 10 were the first 3 weeks after my husband's accident and brain injury when I didn't know if he was going to live or die or if he lived how much care he would need.
Nothing else has ever compared to that stress level and I hope I don't reach that level again.
I probably sit around a 7 or 8 level now and have done since then.
M in Oz5 -
Debbie - You are definitely not alone. This thread is frequented by quite a few with similar experiences, including myself. I sought help from professionals and was lucky enough to find it. My life's work has been to heal from my childhood. It is a never ending journey, but can be done. One thing to remember is, you are free now. The past does not exist. Only the present moment exists. You can use each moment to choose what you want for your future happiness.
What makes my heart skip? Almost everything! Just being in the moment is a wonderful thing. Just recently the miracle of finding a singing group still astonishes me! I never tire of the sea. On a more mundane level, I love to get dressed up, put my face on, and go out to lunch somewhere delightful with a really good girlfriend for a good, long gossip. Wonderful!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx4 -
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Just arranged a lunch date in Portsmouth for next week.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3
https://youtu.be/eiDwGmTP-bc
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