WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2020

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  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited October 2020
    Machka: I’ve no doubt your mindful exercises are useful. Did your DH enjoy the event? :huh:

    Lanette: We had a change of heart and cancelled our chair order. Too spendy! The ones we have now have been used for a very long time and are useable. The upholstery is worn but they’re still comfortable. I feel good about the decision. :star:

    Snowflake: I’m the TV watcher in our house. I like critter shows and a show from Canada featuring big rig rescue towing companies. The show is called Ice Road Truckers. DH thinks I’m nuts, but it is fascinating to watch the problem solving it takes the tow truck operators to get broken-down big rigs off of the roadway in terrible road conditions and taken to a repair facility. Sometimes the terrible conditions are weather related, and sometimes they're caused by breaking down in a huge traffic snarl. :star:


    Last night was a tough one. DH had a low blood-sugar episode and I called in the paramedics. They gave him IV glucose and he came around. He's doing okay today. I LOVE our firefighters. They've saved DH's life more than once. :star:

    We have a misty morning and it is good to be warm and cozy inside.

    Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,245 Member
    K
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
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  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,182 Member
    auntiebk wrote: »
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: dogs to powerline,


    Heather thought of how you feel about technology tonight when our internet went down. Two days of tech troubles getting to mfp=v. aggravating.
    Barbie enjoy your alone time! I could use some too, to do those chores (vacuuming, laundry) whose noise bothers Joe. The spruce needles and dirty laundry are piling up. :sick:

    [

    Lighter, lovelies!

    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    October: better than September.
    daily: sit with Joe: 6, weigh: 6, steps>5491=5547 vits=6 log=6 CI<CO=6 CI<250<CO=5 Tumble & Shadow 5=7 mfp=6 outside=7 up hill=7
    wkly: T’ai Chi or BB&B x3= rx=1 dance= clean 30 mins=1
    mnthly: board mtg= grant=1 20for20=
    bonus: AF=3 play= sew=0

    My husband is totally obsessed with vacuuming. He will vacuum at least two or three times a day, some days even more often. Doesn't matter if someone(me or son) are sleeping, trying to watch tv, on the phone, he will start vacuuming. He keeps buying new ones, better or great deal or ...... there are four in the house and at least three or more in the garage. That is the one chore that he does around here and does it too much.
    I do get a few hours to myself tomorrow. I don't have my daycare girl and he is going up to Vacaville to take his mom shopping. He asked if I wanted to go, uummm- NO!!!! I will go over take care of our friends pets, they are coming home tomorrow night, then come home and pull out the Fall decorations from the shed and start to decorate. Need to do some weeding in the front(morning glory are beautiful but have taken over), summer/floral decorations taken down and some of the raspberries pruned.

    Debbie
    Napa Valley,CA
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,182 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    Katla - I am truly blessed that my girls have settled close to us. I understand more now how devastating it must have been for our parents when we moved out here 23 years ago.

    Machka - what a long time to have no down time.
    😂I loved your mindfulness story.

    Kim - thanks for the update on Lisa.

    Lanette - thanks for the laugh. That’s a funny story.
    I too turn the tv off as soon as DH leaves th house. Yesterday I got home from work and Young and the Restless was on, I said are you watching Y&R, he said no, I’ve been playing my game. He continued to leave it on for a few more minutes though. It's just background noise that irritates me.

    I was up early this morning so got some housework completed before leaving for work. I hope that doesn't become a habit as I like my sleep.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    my husband is another one that has to have the tv on from the time he gets up til after he falls asleep. Has to have a tv on in what ever room he is in. The only rooms in the house without tv's are the two bathrooms(and then he takes his phone in when he uses his). And he has his AC on in his room so has to have the tv loud, think his hearing is going too. Many nights I have to get up, close his room door and turn on the fan in the bedroom just to drown out the noise from his tv. Hard to sleep when the light is shining in and he is watching some darn zombie show. He thinks it is odd that I will sit in the living room all day on my day off/weekend with the tv off. All week long during the day I have DisneyJr or NickJr so I like it quiet sometimes. I do watch it in the evenings but we only like a very few of the same shows. Doesn't really matter, he is rarely in the living room, most of the time in his room or sleeping
    Debbie
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,182 Member
    Faetta wrote: »
    OCD I was not pleased with my behavior yesterday, but I was pleased with my response. My bestie of over 30 years witnessed some of my strange facial gyrations and apparently new moves that were very concerning and a bit frightening. The look in her eyes was one of fright and deep concern.


    Wives personal time I can't comment from personal experience as a senior, but from friends' experiences, I know few that have husbands or partners that know how to balance giving there partners alone time.

    One friend says her DH is always gone. Up early having coffee with the "boys," then off to golf, then working on their old cars or motorcycles in their leaders (divorced 4 times and now alone) huge garage, then afternoons drinking beer and swapping the same old stories that weren't worth telling the first time. Briefly at home to eat and sleep, but too tired to do any chores.

    The majority report the same as you ladies here. Partners that are home 24/7. Getting them out of the house is impossible without you being with them. Retirement, old age, and health concerns make it harder for a woman to get that alone time (in her home) that is so necessary.

    I think one set of my grandparents had the perfect solution. They legally separated but bought a large duplex and each owned and had their personal side. It was great for kids and grandkids to visit because they were still in the same location, but they could do as they liked while looking after each other healthwise. My grandma's side was spotless, super tidy, and smelled like baking bread, while my grandpa's side was a toxic oil slick. He ate fried cabbage with hamburger for all three meals a day. No venting, just grease coating walls, the ceiling, and the floor. He refused to let anyone clean it. If I visited there first, I had to take off my shoes to visit my grandma's.

    I can't imagine being partners 24/7 with anyone that didn't give me a LOT of personal space and time. It seems as we age even the once most comparable develop differences that require some personal time to keep things balanced. If I was in a long term relationship that deprived me of my personal time because of old age changes, I would hang in there and be a loyal partner, but I might be about as much fun to the DH as his bleeding hemorrhoids. ;):D:*>:)

    <3 Fae - on deserts edge in the land of the river ~~~~ where the mighty sturgeon still swim B)





    I totally agree with you. As we age, we do want more personal space and getting less of it. I am really seeing it when I visit my parents. They have been married 62yrs. Mom has not ever been on her own. Married very young(no, younger than you think). Dad never goes anywhere on his own. It is just in the last few months that she goes in to help at food bank once a week by herself. He used to go help too but it is too hard for him now. He will be 83 next month. He doesn't even like it when mom is back in her computer room instead of being in the living room with her or when she is online on her phone while in the living room- He doesn't understand why she is on it all the time. She is 77 and loves technology but he has no interest in it at all. He is really getting on her nerves more and more.
    Debbie
  • Faetta
    Faetta Posts: 1,059 Member
    Katla Yes, Oregon seems to have the best paramedics/firefighters. Sure saved me a couple of times. I used to watch Ice road truckers, but I drove a truck on icy roads and that show made me cold and always tense on the edge of my seat remembering when I almost put a truck over a cliff. The idea that they drove over a frozen lake used to make my OCD bad. Zek loved that show and I didn't mind watching it at his place as he kept his house 85 degrees. I should have recorded the show and saved it for menopause attacks.
  • Faetta
    Faetta Posts: 1,059 Member
    Peach1948 wrote: »
    gs7m1asa9wcx.png

    I love it!!!
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,182 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    I have to ask, why do you stay with these men? ;) I would say to them, "Shape up, or ship out!"
    I am baffled. Why would you let anyone else dictate what happens in your personal space?
    We, DH and me, are not perfect, but we respect each other's privacy and choices. No one overrides my space. Especially audible.
    It's so easy these days to each have your own audible space with headphones etc. If they are annoying you, say so. Why would you let anyone take away your liberty?

    Truly baffled, but said in love, Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    For me, I stay because I don't want to start over AGAIN- too old to do that so I put up with it. I was very close to leaving 5 yrs ago when hubby #1 came back into my life but before I was totally sure that is what I wanted he decided he didn't want to split up my marriage so went online and met/got engaged and married someone else-still loves me but thought that was the best. We love each other and are best friends- just can't be together :(
    Things could be a lot worse. I don't have to worry about financial issues, I know he won't physically hurt me(both were issues with #1 before he got some help). I have told #2 that I can't sleep with his tv so loud, close the door but it doesn't change.
    I plan on spending a lot more time away, up at my parents soon. I want to totally retire. He wants me to keep doing the daycare for the writeoffs- I don't think it is enough to make it worth working- with one kid- she is my last one and starts school in less than a year. My parents need help on their farm and I need to be up there for me.

    Debbie
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,703 Member
    Machka - loved your imaging into the meditation!

    Debbie - with a very furry dog, my place could use a vacuum everyday, if DH wants to come here to vacuum I'm fine with that!

    Kim in N. California
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,182 Member
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    Machka - loved your imaging into the meditation!

    Debbie - with a very furry dog, my place could use a vacuum everyday, if DH wants to come here to vacuum I'm fine with that!

    Kim in N. California

    we have one large furry dog and seven cats so I understand vacuuming every day but not as often as he does. He has done this even when we had one dog and one or two cats. He can't walk past the vacuum without using it-
    I don't mind that he vacuums but would be nice for him to not do it when I get on the phone to my mom.
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,516 Member
    Did 30 Minutes to Fitness Plateau Buster DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to do Joyce Vidral’s Fat Burning Upper and Lower Body DVD

    Kim     – So glad for your mother. Thanks for the update on Lisa. Next time you’re talking to her, please tell her that I’m thinking of her and know that she’s getting A LOT of help, not only from Cory but Egg.

    Fae     – you’re bad (TV remote)

    Well, this isn’t really about personal space. But I remember when I went to help MIL because FIL wasn’t doing well, I remember how (to me) she tip-toed around FIL. I swore I would never do that. Unfortunately, I find that more and more I’m doing this. However, I’m more independent. Like this landscaping stuff – I want it done so I got a part time job.

    Speaking of the landscaping: the guy came here to plug and seed the front lawn. I don’t know why, but there are these BIG bushes in front of the house and for some reason Vince is very very adamant about not removing them. I asked him why he felt so strongly about it and he said it was the cost. I told him that I’d get the money for it. Even knowing that, he still got upset today when the guy was here, I had to talk to the guy, Vince wants nothing to do with it. To me, these bushes are so overgrown, they’re actually a safety hazard (or at least to me). I wonder if part of it is that Vince tends to like things BIG. Like he had to get an even bigger TV and put the 60” one on the porch. To me, this looks like overkill. But it’s really not something worth disagreeing about. We’re going to have a handrail installed in the front of the house and by the pool. The guys are here now, but they don’t think they’ll finish. That’s OK, as long as it gets done.

    Vince loves Ice Road Truckers. I occasionally watch it and find it interesting

    Vince is in a-fib right now so I’m not going to leave the house.

    Michele NC
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,692 Member
    Really enjoyed not cooking tonight. We got a funghi (mushroom) pizza tonight and shared it. I made a dressed green salad. Heaven! :D
    Even I get fed up with cooking every night. This was a real treat. Glass of red wine.

    Painter getting on well. The undercoat for the satin is on. Looking good so far. :)

    Had my Zoom with my friends. Reminiscing about old times at school. How lucky we are!

    5k run.

    Good day.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,645 Member
    Katla - understandable about cancelling the chair order. Every couple months I get excited about getting rid of the "dog chairs", then realize that with an old dog here, as long as the chairs are serviceable, better save the $$ and get by. One of these days, DH or I might need a "lift" recliner - so will make the move then and in the meantime, clean these as best I can.

    Debbie - I understand your frustration. Perhaps you've mentioned - with your DH's vacuuming zeal, could this be an OCD type condition rather than just being insensitive? Any possibility of counseling? If not for the both of you, then at least you to help deal with the situation?

    The gals on this list have helped me save my sanity at times by their illustrations of how they have "flipped" their reaction to things.... instead of "have to", flip it toward "get to", etc. Finding silver linings. Make sure to take care of yourself and get plenty of sleep. Time away helping your folks sounds good.

    I think I'm a lot older than you - I'm 69, my DH is 74. It's taken a long time, but we have let go of resentment and hard feelings and try to put each other's needs in the forefront.

    With the TV, my DH has ultra sensitive hearing, so he keeps the volume way down. My hearing isn't good, so all I hear is noise and cannot make out conversations, lip-read as best I can. I watch video's on the tablet with my earbuds in and/or close captioned so we can still spend time together. I know that's what several of us in this group do.

    It's OK if he doesn't want to watch "my shows" lol. He LOVES Ice Road Trucker and all of those wilderness type programs. I do too.

    Michele     - keep us posted on Vince! Is he on meds for the a-fib?

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State where the fog has finally lifted and the sun is out. Once the tomato vines dry a bit, I'll go on the attack. :p





  • Faetta
    Faetta Posts: 1,059 Member
    edited October 2020
    Rebecca Long Beach, Wa is a cool place. I was there for a softball tournament way back when.

    Michele "I'm bad"... Hahaha! The remote trick is me being supportive and motivational.

    Tina If old age changes brought about disrespect and disregard as I see in some old men, then they would be moving out quick and in a hurry.

    Rita Looking good and official in that park outfit. It is tough going back to work after so much time off, but at least you are close to your job. I took a park ranger job out of high school and my first assignment was cleaning the restrooms where someone had thrown poo all over the walls. I quit. That was my shortest job ever. They asked in the interview if I could clean toilets, not poop smeared walls and overflowed (intentionally) toilets. I couldn't believe any human could do such a thing.

    Fae in Or.

  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Lanette: We are still planning on getting new chairs in the future, but not the elaborate ones we were looking at the local store. DH has decided he wants to go to another furniture store to look before we buy. Scan Design is one that comes to my mind. It is located in Beaverton, and we’re still avoiding that place because of Covid 19. Nothing is going to happen in the furniture category until the pandemic eases away and we trust our luck going to an area that currently has more worrisome Covid 19 cases than the situation here. :star:

    Tracey: You are lucky to have family nearby. We have an adult niece in the general area but haven't been lucky enough to spend time with her since the Covid 19 epidemic came along. She works in a hospital in another county near Portland. :flowerforyou:

    Cheri: Family dynamics can lead to peace or friction. You seem to have found the ideal way to avoid friction and enjoy your lives. WTG!!! :bigsmile:

    Faetta: I agree that our firefighter/paramedics are excellent. :heart: They have saved DH at least three times within the past few years, including yesterday. On the subject of TV shows, I like to watch Ice Road Truckers because I love to see the problem solving they do to rescue those who are in need. :star:

    RVRita: I love the photo of you in your park uniform. Nice mask! :flowerforyou:

    Rebecca: Long Beach, WA is certainly closer to your son and grandson in Vancouver. Is OHSU available to people who live out of state? They worked miracles for your DH in the past. I’m confident that you’ll end up making good decisions. :heart:

    (((Michele))): Sending good thoughts for Vince. I hope things work out well. :flowerforyou:


    I am hoping for a total lack of worry and drama for at least a little while. I need a rest and maybe a good sized dollop of fun.

    Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
  • Faetta
    Faetta Posts: 1,059 Member
    Lanette I didn't know you were 69 with bad hearing also. I will be 70 in a few weeks and deaf in one ear and about 50% in the other with times of hyperacusis.
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Faye ~ I also have bad hearing. Hoping to get up the courage to get hearing aids at some point.

    Katla ~ We bought two new recliners about a year or so ago. Our others had gotten to the point that the reclining part was in permanent out position. Now they sit in the basement waiting for Got Junk at some point. The new ones are OK for DH but because I am so short do not work for me. The tufted pillow section on the back is just uncomfortable for me. So, I am using an older one that I had bought many years ago and use a foot stool with it. They are all leather which we like.

    Noise by the TV ~ I am also one of those who wants a back ground noise all the time. It really bothers my DH but I just don't even notice what is being said on the TV.

    Carol in GA
  • Workoutahloic50
    Workoutahloic50 Posts: 391 Member
    Hi
    bygafa0z2pwc.png
    Debby in Va
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,182 Member
    [quote="SophieRosieMom;c
    Lanette B)
    SW WA State where the fog has finally lifted and the sun is out. Once the tomato vines dry a bit, I'll go on the attack. :p





    [/quote]

    Thank you!! I know I need to speak up, which I have never ever been good at- I say I am like Rex in Toy Story- I don't like confrontation. He is content with the way things are. If I don't speak up, he is happy to just keep going like we have been. I need to also focus on the good and not dwell on the bad(just some days it is very hard to find the good). I have learned to lower my expectations so not disappointed as badly that way.

    Debbie
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
    💛💚💙💜🤎
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,085 Member
    Evening ladies
    All this talk about men.. you remember all the conversations i had about Tom..well glad we can be friends and living on my own with a dog is the best.. i no longer have to cook nightly,mow the lawn,hand over a whole paycheck and get treated like cra-.
    And I will say no I will never get married again much much happier the way i am..
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,703 Member
    so happy for you Allie!

    Kim
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,007 Member
    Having one or two connection problems, so will try again in the morning. I have been able to read posts but not comment.

    ☘️ Terri
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,182 Member
    Workoutahloic50 wrote: »
    Hi
    bygafa0z2pwc.png
    Debby in Va

    PERFECT

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