WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2021

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,592 Member
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    minicooper452 wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Regarding being woken from sleep -- I have created a cocoon of silence.
    I'm also toying with the idea of getting sleep headphones for my husband and me for whenever we might be able to travel by airplane. No rush, of course, so I will investigate what's good. I like the idea of a sleep headphone and eye mask all in one. I think it would be good for my husband to reduce distractions around us both on the plane and possibly also while waiting between flights ... and I like the idea too. It looks like it would be much more comfortable than the headphones airlines provide.
    .....
    Anyway, if you're a light sleeper who is easily wakened, it might be an idea to to create a cocoon of silence for yourself. :)
    M in Oz

    These are the ones I have. Love them! But, I will tell you, the headband style will not "cancel" surrounding noise. It will help and it will reduce "distractions" as you say. But if you need to "drown out" snoring or something like that, ear buds are a must. I liked these because they're specifically for sleeping and have a sort of "nose cushion" that keeps the mask off my nose and provides a little extra darkness.

    https://www.amazon.com.au/Bluetooth-Headphone-Voerou-Adjustable-Microphone/dp/B07D7T7B2G/ref=sr_1_6?crid=APAI0BGR7ZB9&dchild=1&keywords=sleep+headphones&qid=1632497700&s=electronics&sprefix=sleep+,electronics,339&sr=1-6

    qtkcdrt5vj53.png


    wow I had never heard of this thing. I'm interested! What sound do you play?

    Whatever music you like, I imagine. Probably what you've put on your phone.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Rebecca - Your son is a valuable man for rescuing and bringing back a navy helicopter. Congratulations! ❤️
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,517 Member
    Why am I getting all these friend requests from people who don't have any friends and became members years ago?

    katla - does your hubby know how you feel?

    Michele NC
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,610 Member
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: rx, BP, typed hymns, farmers’ market, dog group
    Bonus: entered donated items in ItsDeductible-filed receipt with details, practiced Wine, Beer, Whiskey and Dance Monkey, 27 mins decluttering keyboard, line dancing at the port
    Get to do: rx, take BP, dogs to powerline, livestream church, Freddie’s for rx, call pc guy to schedule tuneup, learn a section of GrandDaddy Long Legs, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, Monday call Spectrum Mobile to learn how to print statements, fire district: research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Tequila Little Time, Homesick, Nothing but You, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Do Your Thing, practice dances: Silver Linings, All Night, TGIF, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Te about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
    September
    26:Avoid saying “I should” and make time to do nothing=in the hot tub Sunday.

    Highs in the 50s, cool and breezy, the season has definitely turned.

    Danced over an hour and a half at the port, even though the concrete kills my knees. Happy to see the people and to remember (mostly) the dances.

    Katla understand leaving DH home alone is not a good choice, but … you have been yearning to be with children and grands for so long, hope DH can grant you this respite. Instead of sending daughter to Virginia, could she come to Oregon to stay with DH while you go to Virginia? If not, then perhaps it’s time to interview some in home caregivers? Imagine it is very very hard for your DH to accept his limitations. At the same time you are a team and proceeding to change plans without including you in the decision is not acceptable. ((hugs)) and hopes.
    Rebecca :love: that painted dresser. And of course the pensive Athena Rose.
    Tracey thanks for the Align info. Mouse tangled in daughter’s hair? I’d still be screaming.
    Sending Beth ((hugs)) and comforting vibes to Terri.


    Lighter, lovelies!
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    September: leaner/stronger/kinder than August.
    daily: sit with Joe:26, weigh/wii: 24/0/0; steps>7222=9819 ;) vits=24.5, log=25, CI<CO=23, CI<250<CO=16, Tumble=21, Shadow=24, mfp=22, outside=29, up hill=23, clean 10=13.
    wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=1.5, Wed:TC=1, PW=2, Thurs: TC=5mins, Fri:TC=1.33, Sat:PW=2, rX x4=4.
    wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/31:140.2 8/31:140.0 9/5:140.2 9/12:139.8 9/19:142.2 9/26: 9/30:
    mnthly: board mtg=1, grant=, plan=, waist=42.
    bonus: AF=13, play=1.25!!! sew=
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,592 Member
    exermom wrote: »
    Why am I getting all these friend requests from people who don't have any friends and became members years ago?

    Michele NC

    Delete them.

  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Barbara – DH has serious health problems. He does not want to fly to Virginia & I don’t want to leave him home alone. Being aboard a jet is very worrisome for him. He uses a walker inside our home to get around. He uses riding carts in the grocery store to shop. We have discussed having him visit his sister or having her visit here. We have not talked with her about this idea so far. She recently lost her husband who was well past 90. We will have to stumble through this challenge. I want DH to fly with me to Virginia.

    Katla
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,592 Member
    Katla49 wrote: »
    DH has embarrassing health problems & needs frequent access to restrooms. We have talked about first class aisle seats. We're working things out between us & will do our best. Leaving him home alone is not a good choice. :noway:

    My husband and I often fly in aisle seats across the aisle from each other. Like this, where he and I are the "X"s.

    OOX___XOOO___OOO

    That way we both have access to the aisle. He likes it for leg room and I like it because I need to get up at least once an hour to pace the plane.

    I wish planes had a bank of treadmills and that we could book them for 15 minutes several times during a flight.

    I also wish the seats would flip up like they do the theatre so that we could stand. That would mean that the backs of seats might need to be higher, but that's OK. And fixed in place would also be good - no reclining! In fact, each seat in a little "booth" with dividers between and around them would be nice.

    Of course, my chances of taking a flight in the next year is pretty much 0, but I'd like to hope that some airlines might have considered some alterations for our comfort.

    I'd love to travel first class to and from Canada, but we don't have $51,546.52 for a return trip for two people (I looked up a trip optimistically available over Christmas).


    M in Oz
  • KJLaMore
    KJLaMore Posts: 2,847 Member
    <3
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    Peach1948 wrote: »
    Julie ~ We are lucky here to have so many scan and go stations. Also, most of the grocery stores here have cashiers who tend lines meant for 10 or less items. That makes it a lot quicker.

    Carol in GA

    some shops are like that -it's on and off - a bit political - about saving jobs and maintaining human contact. this is a rather small shop - since we are in a city there are a lot of mid/small size supermarkets with one or two cashiers. at present in this place they have only computers on Sunday afternoons and mostly just humans the rest of the time. the policy seems to be changing regularly.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    Katie thanks for that explanation - I hope it works for you. I'm sure I could google it. I'm not going to sign up for anything else for the moment but its interesting to hear about it.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    Machka that sounds like a nice moment with walking running ect, different speeds. at present I would just walk 5k :D
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    Nice day yesterday. But Friday irked me and I'm upset today.

    this is not going to be in favour of rehabitating the image of the French !

    To balance- Saturday lovely café with colleague - nice café nice day nice spontaneous lunch etc. good people over all.

    But Friday!
    Meeting with 5 colleagues on an activist work thing - just for a drink 1h as N was passing through town from far away. Then after that, only 3 of us stayed for a very quick simple meal.

    But there is F who has been quite agressive with me. He has often exploded, on the phone. then last April he - due to a problem at work - I don't know what - he decided suddenly to retire - a year early - Almost right after deciding to retire he yelled at me for the 1st time in front of another colleague - an old friend- colleague of his- and then left in anger. It ws the 1st time he lost his cool like that towards me in front of someone else. The other colleague Y's 1st impulse was to defend F. But when I asked Y what he would have done had I acted as F had - he said he would have said that I was hysterical.

    Just after F. sent a few prickly contentious mails (with some mistakes in them) with several people in copy. This was not at all in our practices. I answered as needed to rehabilitate, but abstained from all contact with him and on the very rare times he wrote to me I put another colleague in copy in my answer.

    We all met once for a meal in July with 7 people and it was fine.

    This time I felt him prickly upon arriving but it was not really something I could put my finger on. He was talking a lot, not listening much, cutting me off- but possibly others too, seemed full of himself. Then after two colleagues left and there was only me and another colleague for the quick meal (I should have left) who is also an old friend of F for 30 years F insulted me repeatedly (swears repeatedly) - with no constructive bent. Claiming -at 65- that he has never had any issues with anyone else of the sort. (whereas one year previously when I had questioned him about that he said that it did happen on occasion that he exploded and gave me some examples). he nearly claimed that I was the source of all his problems (at 65 whereas I have only known him for about a yer and a half.) I dont buy it that a guy 65 who behaves badly repeatedly - and I know that he had some issues at his job that led to his retiring a year early with no plan (and his wife is still working 5 more years) according to Y but I don't know what.

    O who was still here, had been warned and said he would keep an eye out for such issues, but he seems crazy about F as a friend and not very objective at all. F left angry again, and then only AFTER F had left was O in agreement that F didn't need to be insulting - but still O was half thinking I was imagining things and defending F.

    BUT today one of the 2 other people who were there in the early part, N, who met us all for the 1st time live wrote to me saying about him that she found him "rough around the edges" "gritty" or "unrefined"

    And then said :

    "He quickly played at trying to get me to collude with him, against you when you didn't understand an expression we were using."

    "I had the impression he had a certain pleasure in seeing you fail ”

    This was at the beginning of the evening a good hour before he was insulting me. he left and then O and i both left.

    I have put much much much personal time into this activist work. if F is there always trying to cause problems, and insult me and get people against me - I have no space for it. I am very clearly the leader and it will likely stop or fail if I am not involved.

    We have a major major meeting next Wednesday. maybe I will go but that may be the end of it.


    one of the biggest problems is that O is an old friends of F and seems mad about F.
    I consider.ed myself a friend of O, but if O is instinctively defending F who is clearly unacceptable and unprofessional in his behaviour, this makes the friendship with O not worth much at all.

    And the whole thing is just too much effort for not much good to come out of it.

    I feel really bad today. Weird. Yesterday was fairly good. and I woke up well this morning with an interesting dream, and then it seemed to turn bad.

    I'm supposed to have a 30 min work meeting with O today. I'll talk to him and see what he says, I'm half ready to quit if he persists in defending vulgar insulting F. I prefer not to decide extremely quickly in regards to something invested in for a year- but these are questions in the air. I work A LOT, mostly with O who seconds me. If O doesn't have my back, and is even the opposite sometimes - then I don't know that it make sense that I continue. We get zero money for this. it's lost time. :s


  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,592 Member
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    Nice day yesterday. But Friday irked me and I'm upset today.

    this is not going to be in favour of rehabitating the image of the French !

    To balance- Saturday lovely café with colleague - nice café nice day nice spontaneous lunch etc. good people over all.

    But Friday!
    Meeting with 5 colleagues on an activist work thing - just for a drink 1h as N was passing through town from far away. Then after that, only 3 of us stayed for a very quick simple meal.

    But there is F who has been quite agressive with me. He has often exploded, on the phone. then last April he - due to a problem at work - I don't know what - he decided suddenly to retire - a year early - Almost right after deciding to retire he yelled at me for the 1st time in front of another colleague - an old friend- colleague of his- and then left in anger. It ws the 1st time he lost his cool like that towards me in front of someone else. The other colleague Y's 1st impulse was to defend F. But when I asked Y what he would have done had I acted as F had - he said he would have said that I was hysterical.

    Just after F. sent a few prickly contentious mails (with some mistakes in them) with several people in copy. This was not at all in our practices. I answered as needed to rehabilitate, but abstained from all contact with him and on the very rare times he wrote to me I put another colleague in copy in my answer.

    We all met once for a meal in July with 7 people and it was fine.

    This time I felt him prickly upon arriving but it was not really something I could put my finger on. He was talking a lot, not listening much, cutting me off- but possibly others too, seemed full of himself. Then after two colleagues left and there was only me and another colleague for the quick meal (I should have left) who is also an old friend of F for 30 years F insulted me repeatedly (swears repeatedly) - with no constructive bent. Claiming -at 65- that he has never had any issues with anyone else of the sort. (whereas one year previously when I had questioned him about that he said that it did happen on occasion that he exploded and gave me some examples). he nearly claimed that I was the source of all his problems (at 65 whereas I have only known him for about a yer and a half.) I dont buy it that a guy 65 who behaves badly repeatedly - and I know that he had some issues at his job that led to his retiring a year early with no plan (and his wife is still working 5 more years) according to Y but I don't know what.

    O who was still here, had been warned and said he would keep an eye out for such issues, but he seems crazy about F as a friend and not very objective at all. F left angry again, and then only AFTER F had left was O in agreement that F didn't need to be insulting - but still O was half thinking I was imagining things and defending F.

    BUT today one of the 2 other people who were there in the early part, N, who met us all for the 1st time live wrote to me saying about him that she found him "rough around the edges" "gritty" or "unrefined"

    And then said :

    "He quickly played at trying to get me to collude with him, against you when you didn't understand an expression we were using."

    "I had the impression he had a certain pleasure in seeing you fail ”

    This was at the beginning of the evening a good hour before he was insulting me. he left and then O and i both left.

    I have put much much much personal time into this activist work. if F is there always trying to cause problems, and insult me and get people against me - I have no space for it. I am very clearly the leader and it will likely stop or fail if I am not involved.

    We have a major major meeting next Wednesday. maybe I will go but that may be the end of it.


    one of the biggest problems is that O is an old friends of F and seems mad about F.
    I consider.ed myself a friend of O, but if O is instinctively defending F who is clearly unacceptable and unprofessional in his behaviour, this makes the friendship with O not worth much at all.

    And the whole thing is just too much effort for not much good to come out of it.

    I feel really bad today. Weird. Yesterday was fairly good. and I woke up well this morning with an interesting dream, and then it seemed to turn bad.

    I'm supposed to have a 30 min work meeting with O today. I'll talk to him and see what he says, I'm half ready to quit if he persists in defending vulgar insulting F. I prefer not to decide extremely quickly in regards to something invested in for a year- but these are questions in the air. I work A LOT, mostly with O who seconds me. If O doesn't have my back, and is even the opposite sometimes - then I don't know that it make sense that I continue. We get zero money for this. it's lost time. :s


    Quite frankly I wouldn't continue. Don't you need your personal time to finish your degree?
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    B)
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,086 Member
    Morning ladies
    I slept in ,yesterday was a busy day but i must say I did sleep well.
    Katla- i will be flying with handicapped access to Nashville.. like Heather said they take great care,when I went last time wirh my dad,I just kept a pocket full of 5s for tips and it went swimmingly, and a golf cart out to the rental car..
    It should be very doable.. if he is having second thoughts than maybe having his sister come would be a good idea..if not like someone said getting a caregivee to come in to assist might help also..
    Im trying to figure out how im going to woek a boatride at 1 and meeting friends for pizza in a different town at 4 ,we shall see..
    I ordered a new double hung window and patio door that i am hoping to have installed before my trip.. but I have to take all the pictures down ,curtains anything around patio door and window that could get damaged ,so that will keep me busy the next few weeks..
    I have a feeling even though im only going for 5 days im going to need to check a bag for the flight,my Cpap would take up a good chunk of the carry on ,so ill have to figure out packing in the next week or so.. I always like to have things set early...
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited September 2021
    Thank you for all of your wonderful ideas for DH. I wish he would pay attention to them. His latest "good" idea is to send me by myself. The last time we did that did not turn out well. He wouldn't answer the phone. I finally called a neighbor and gave him our garage code. He and another neighbor came into the house and found DH sitting beside the upstairs windows in the dark. I don't want to go through that again. :noway:
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,246 Member
    edited September 2021
    o65dhk2cd0aq.jpeg
    And we are off to the next spot, gold beach!
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Katla ~ I wish I had some good advice to give you but I don't. I know how much you have been looking forward to your trip. I think Barbara's thoughts on finding someone to stay with him would be good. And, the idea of your daughter staying with him instead of going to your son's house would be great.

    Carol in GA
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    DH has realized that we need to fly to Virginia. Yay! This is good news.
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,301 Member
    B)<3:'(
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited September 2021
    Peach – We just had a family call with our son and DDIL to discuss the trip to visit them. We don't have a time/date for our trip at this point. :heart:
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    MACHKA you are right. it's not easy to totally drop it - for certain reasons but I can definitely let up, as I have previously.

    We have an appointment Wednesday -actually with the ministry- so rather major...I worked w O on a text this evening on the phone. We have a prep meeting video Tuesday evening. Before and after it's on hold.
    O was supportive and he said he should have said something to F. So that's good.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    <3
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    kizanne2 wrote: »
    Katla - it is a hard position to be caring for someone who hasn't yet accepted they need care or that they impact you in ways they probably don't want to. No one wants to be a burden to their loved ones. I echo the sentiment you may want to look into at least temporary home care while you go see the grandkids

    Bananas - that is just awful. No one deserves to be treated like that. I feel for you. Wanting to accomplish something and do something meaningful should be something everyone can get behind but there is always people like F who don't feel good about themselves if they aren't putting someone or their ideas down. Apparently F might be one of those people. If you decide to quit please make sure to let the group know the exact circumstances so that when he picks out his next target they will have a more watchful eye. Or offer the group a choice either you quit or F is uninvited from such meetings.

    Michele - I know I've gotten a few friend requests as well. I've been a member for years and now is the only time I've really accepted any. I guess it's just people trying to connect. I'm glad your sciatica seems to be improving.

    Heather - great pics

    Pip- Love the travel pics.

    Rebecca - How great. You can be so proud of your son!

    Machka - That's awesome. You did it.



    I'm still working too much. I am managing a little better with not stress eating. I will be working much of today but last week I managed to have only one late nighter.

    But I finished my gallbladder cleanse and the minor pain I was having has disappeared. I really need to try to schedule them 1/month for the next 10 months or so. They say it really takes between 10 -15 to see more permanent results that was like number 6 or 7 but it's been 1.5 years.

    Went shopping Saturday around dinner time. Hubby was hungry so we grabbed some ribs at a place with outdoor seating. I probably went over on calories but I had only had a protein shake that day so maybe not too bad. Back on track today.

    Got baby seahorses out of the tank last night. I didn't have any fresh baby brine so we will see if they survive until I can hatch out some baby brine.

    kapfavye8ojj.jpg
    yycr4wrpzg88.jpg



    Thanks ! I felt really upset today. I had a work session with O today and he said he should have said something to F. So that made me feel better. Also I decided to write a formal email to F even though our collective is not a legally declared association. Saying he's insulted me many times on the phone and now 2 x in front of colleagues out of the 3 times we have met live in the past 6 months, sking him to abstain from being insulting, swearing etc. I told O I now find F repugnant. I never consider people that way - as every one is human - but he is too insulting and vomits out insults...

    My friend J said we should just choose - you or him and I choose you. But I think ethically it's not so simple.
    1) if I say me or him that's not really a very reasonable way to function
    2) a few people who are key people are old friend/colleagues of his. though they may prefer me- since I do a ton of stuff and he does zilch - they would presumably not feel comfortable with such an approach.

    What I can do is say I may not continue. and I have said that to a few people.

    It's true. I said no way am I listening to that anymore. no it's finished. I sent a draft of the mail to a couple of colleagues and set it to be sent tomorrow at 8 am. it's formal for our framework but - informal didn't work.
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,246 Member
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