WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2022
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Wow!
Concerning decluttering:
I realized after reading the thread this morning that I am responsible for all of the stuff here.
As time has gone on, my spouse feels just about as burdened by our houseful as I do, and is willing to let go, but no longer has the physical stamina to do anything about it. So it's up to me.
I don't have elderly parents or a "collector" spouse to take into consideration.
What a difference that makes.
Neither of my parents were hoarders, but my mom and her best friend had a small antique business, so there were storage units, a double garage full of items from auctions, floor-to-ceiling storage of glassware and pottery on the back wall of a huge great room, antique furniture, and of course the stall full of items in the antique mall...oh my goodness, so much stuff, and I still have some of it, plus some items that belonged to grandparents. And still a few items that belong to my son.
Of course my spouse has some of her parents' things, and her own things from a whole other life.
So there is a lot, but by golly, I am newly energized by the realization that the only person standing in the way of me doing Swedish Death Cleaning is...me...
I had a nearly visceral reaction while reading about spouses and parents collecting or having a hard time letting go of items that are no longer of much use or value. Antiques currently bring very little money here in the USA. Young people don't want antiques, and old people are getting rid of them, so there isn't much market for them. Easier to give them away - just let go.
Thank you, ladies, for the "Light Bulb Moment". I have the utmost sympathy for those of you who can't get cooperation from family members. I will be damned if I will leave this onus for my children to deal with, but I am privileged to be in a position where I don't have to juggle the feelings/input from elderly parents. Likewise, my spouse is almost fully on board with my minimalist goal.
I am now planning to listen to some of the Minimalist podcasts Barbie mentioned - I wasn't aware of the Minimalists, but I have a feeling the podcasts will be quite helpful in overcoming my own resistance. Thank you, Barbie, for mentioning the Minimalists!
Karen in Virginia (whew!)
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Thank you for the comments on my brother's artwork. He doesn't really want to market his art -"too hard" -
K0 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »I reluctantly do have one flower bed and we have several potted plants each summer. I participate under duress.
Tracey in Edmonton
Tracey - Oh my stars and whiskers, every time I read this I can't help but laugh. I just have this image of Bruce Willis holding a gun to your head saying "Plant those begonias or die, woman!" Everyone's got things they love and things they don't. I agree with you that scrubbing the tub is horrible, right up there with scrubbing the toilet. And washing walls? Yeah, that ain't gonna happen EVER. I think I may need to hire a cleaning person to do a spring cleaning for me. Just a one-time thing, but lordy, the house definitely needs it. I'm not sure I could do it without cleaning the house first, though, which pretty much defeats the purpose.
Re: Decluttering - Genuinely not a problem for me other than quilting fabric, it really is my only weakness now. But I have more than a dozen times in my life cleared out at least two-thirds of a houseful in order to move. Over and over and over again.
First it was because of the military with my now-ex-husband, and then due to the wanderlust that Corey and I still had when we married 13 years ago. It's easy to get ruthless when you know you have to make everything fit in an 8x10 panel trailer and a truck bed with a camper on it, and then drive that across a thousand miles or so. Essentially we did that seven times in nine years, and then we got here. We're staying here. Seriously, every time he says "Well, we could move to ________" I put my fingers in my ears and sing "la-la-la-la" until he shuts up.
Later,
Love,
Lisa5 -
I'm not sure how I feel about further decluttering. We got rid of thousands of books when we moved here and again last year. And I mean thousands. Don't miss any of them! Actually I did have to order a second hand copy of one I gave away. I have one big box of inherited stuff in the garage that is worthless apart from the memories. DH has a few pictures, but we did Freecycle a few. We have moved a few times in the last ten years.
Otherwise, it's just normal junk from living a life. I love all the stuff on show, ceramics, glass.
My weakness is photos and paper. A whole archive worthy of the British Library. I keep hoping I will become really famous, so they will take it.
I hope Edie will become the family archivist.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »...Son had competency hearing Monday and final hearing today so should be hearing about that sometime today. RvRita
Rita - Hope your husband's colonoscopy comes up clean and your son's hearing goes well. Depression can be awfully hard to shake. Are you getting some help for that? I hope so.
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa
I’m on anti-depression medicine-have been for years. I have tried finding a therapist here but no one takes Humana or Medicare. I’m on a waiting list.
RvRita3 -
Pip Wonderful news!
Barbara Hope the MRI gets scheduled and you get answers. Wonderful Joe is stepping up.
Beth Sorry to hear that your Mom fell again.
Karen Your brother's art touched me. What a talent.
KatlaHoping you get good information at the doctors. So glad your daughter is with you.
All the new gals
Welcome and I'm one who reads everyday but doesn't post often. This group is a wonderful support group for me. I'm 71 and winter in Washington and summer in NW Alaska where I was born. My husband is 81 and has heart failure but at this point has good quality of life. He doesn't join me in Alaska in the summer. He has never liked the rustic life I love in the tundra county and he is closer to medical in Washington in case of an emergency. He says if my camp ever comes into the modern world with electricity and indoor plumbing he'll join me again in the summer. = ) We've been married since 1993 and I think there is truth to the " absence makes the heart grow fonder" saying.
It's been a bit over a week since my second cataract surgery. I had a sensitivity to the first eye drops and my eye pressure soared to the upper 30's in both eyes. Stopped those drops and got ones without a steroid and my eye pressure dropped. I am able to focus better and love the clarity I'm beginning to experience.
Betsy In NW WA
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Hi Gals,
Rita – there are a new group of therapists that are available via phone, while mine is still taking me and other long term clients if we are vaccinated and boostered (she doesn’t take insurance at all) but a number of friends have found one via phone, covered by insurance and have been very happy with the outcome.
Clutter – I have never been much of a collector of anything, nor were my parents, but a friend is having a garage sale (tag sale?? Not sure what they are called in other places) this Saturday and asked if I wanted to help and to bring anything I wanted to pass on. I agreed to help but wasn’t sure if I would have much to add. But I have found myself going through this drawer, that shelf, a cupboard…. It has been great in two ways. I have found more than I expected to find, and because it was not a cleaning event, instead it is let me look through that drawer or shelf I am doing it in 5 minutes here or there, and I am not reorganizing, or even wiping down shelfs, just picking out things to pass on. I can go back and clean in less time as there will be less there. I’ll be happy if I make $50 not expecting much, but I will stop by the thrift store on my way home and will donate any thing that doesn’t sell.
Thinking of you all, and hoping for a happy healthy day
Smiles Kim in N. California
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Rita, I don't know if you have ever given Al-Anon a serious trial, but the 12 Steps with a sponsor are a great way to uncover and discover a lot of what may be blocking one from getting along well in life.Lisa, I agree with you that moving is a great way to thin out one's possessions. When you have to touch things and package them, you can make some important decisions. About 10 years ago I boxed up a car full of stuff that had been my mother's and my grandmother's and gave it all to my step daughter. She has friends and her husband's family owns a pawn shop. Our agreement was that she wouldn't ask me why I was getting rid of those things and I wouldn't ask her what she did with them. If she gave everything away or threw it away, I would never know and if she sold it, she deserved the profits.
Barbie in NW WA 5 -
Rebecca! I'm coming to your house for dinner! YUM!
Pip, that is wonderful news!
Nanacutler, so glad Maisie is behaving. Good Girl.
Oh Tracey, I'm glad. Still praying for them and I'm sure they're still in shock. Yes, we're resting comfortably. LOL. OMGosh... the wonderful thing about them is, they're finally at the age where they can go run outside by themselves and we have the neighborhood for that. We've been here for 30 years so we know everyone and they know us. Everyone here acts like all the other's parents and all the kids know it! It's GREAT! Got a text from "Nicki" the other day, "Is Bear over there?", "Yup, in the backyard with Caddie and Hunter." "Okay, thanks. Send him home when you get tired of him." hahaha!
Rita, excellent progress. Praying for his recovery and your stress level to go down.
Hi Susan! Welcome.
Carla, in MN2 -
Afternoon ladies
Im up waiting for Carmine to get out of school.. they had a physical today and with all the upheaval ,was suggested to go on a mild antidepressant, Carmine said no but wanted a chest binder and mom said no to that..
Declutter..well getting divorced twice helped with some of it. But im back to square one in a smaller place and to much stuff.. I do have antiques that were my grandparents ,but I cant even walk in my walk in closet because of papers and junk.. and i think that is half the battle. I really need someone to come help me hoe out everything and get what I want to keep in order so it wont be a burden on my kids like my dads house was to us..
My new phone has a better camera and is lighter than what i had going to keep my old one more day before sending it back to make sure i have all the apps and passwords ,pictures etc.. all set0 -
Got my banking errands done. Yay!
My mom is up and making bread in the breadmaker. Last time was so much trouble I thought she was done with that. You never know! Hope it comes out okay. Then my dad will slice it with this machine that looks like a circular saw. Too dangerous to watch.
I have horseback riding in an hour, then I'm making hamburgers for their dinner, and then dumbbells for me.
Annie in Delaware0 -
readandlift wrote: »
I was and I had 2 bowls at noon, then a bowl in the afternoon. So like the whole pans worth! But when you break it down it was (only) a cup of chicken, 1.5 cup of noodles, 1/4 onion, 5 mushrooms, 7 baby carrots and 9 ice cubes of broth.😁
Soup did set me right.👍
Rebecca
Whidbey
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Went to the MD, told the PA that I was 99.9% sure it was sciatica and she agreed and prescribed prednisone for me, which is what I expected. Took my first dose today. To me, it is starting to feel better. But is this psychological? Who knows?
Had the last Newcomer bowling for the season. For some reason, nothing I did helped. I was lucky to break 50. I tried EVERYTHING, moving, etc. But nothing seemed to help. I was definitely the gutter ball queen
Yippee pip!!!!!!!!
Karen VA – Vince’s mother has this really nice sewing cabinet. Unfortunately, we can’t figure out how to wind the bobbin and my sewing machine won’t go in the cabinet. I’m afraid we’re going to have to donate it. I do have my grandmother’s pedal sewing machine. I remember as a kid pumping that pedal. Good memories. Is it ever heavy! So glad you had such a wonderful experience giving your mother’s sewing machine away. Knowing that it’s being used in such a wonderful way makes giving it away so much less painful. Your brother’s art is truly awesome
Lucy – Rebecca ALWAYS posts pics of her wonderful meals. Honestly, sometimes I just have to skip them – they make me so hungry...lol
Guess that’s about it for now. Nite everyone
Michele NC
Heehee, food porn goddess that's me! I try to get the glistening of the chicken broth just right just for you dawling.......
Rebecca1 -
Accountability:Wednesday:
Chose well: Joe, readings, BP, CI<CO, CI<250<CO.
Bonus: veg prep, MD ofc to sign form, Freddie’s, Farmers’ market
Just one thing: back to bupkes.
Workin’ on it: 139.8!?!, H20x, active :
Mindful March
23: Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
24: Appreciate your hands and all they enable you to do.
2 or 3 lbs returned this morning, but still happily under 140. BP continues downward, starting to wonder if machine needs new battery Frustrated today, took almost 90 mins to reconcile visa and bank accounts, tasks which usually take 15 mins each. All my mistakes, looking at things wrong, mixing up checking and savings account statements, etc etc etc. Then when all done, almost forgot to pay the credit card bill! Has anyone tried any supplements for memory or mental clarity?
Tracey, gardening “…under duress” :laugh: about how I vacuum
Ginny thank you so much for the IT band stretches. Very much like things we used to do in Yoga.
Welcome @susanshaughnessy80 Susan in FL ! We all need support, encouragement and prayers. Sometimes we even need pip’s boot :laugh:
Barbie win, win win!
Hap2go, guess I never realized how fortunate I was that Mama was a periodic purge person, despite having lived through the Depression. The only thing she purged/reorganized were the photo albums I looked at and played with as a child. Stories lost with the pictures
Karen I almost wish I felt burdened by all our stuff (most mine). Maybe that would motivate me. (Be careful what you ask for, Barbara!)
Rita it is an appalling reality of our health care system that you cannot find a therapist who takes Medicare/Humana. Is there a town near you large enough to have a low cost community based mental health service?
Betsy I’m with your DH. No indoor plumbing? Have a nice time without me.
Later, Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2022: Be still and listen.
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De cluttering, I have done a wee bit since youngest left. Just taking all the "pretties" and putting on his bookshelves. I have contacted my home towns historical society to see if they wanted my 1977-1980 yearbooks plus my All State choir record from 1980. The gal emailed me back and said she would bring it up at the next meeting. Then after a bit she emailed me back saying they voted yes! So I am mailing them. So getting rid of those that I rarely look thru will be nice. I don't even have a record player.
Nothing on window sills really opens up a room. We also no not have shades so we can get as much light as we can into our living areas. Only the stuff you use should be in rooms. Like don't put your sewing stuff in your bedroom if you only do it in the living room kind of thing.
Everything has a home, every little thing. The place where my desk is, used to be sons living room so that's why its so empty!🙃😁
Now our bedroom upstairs has two nightstands, bed, dresser, and a chair. That's it. No artwork on the walls. Its just a place to sleep.
Rebecca
Whidbey
WA
Oh my neighbor from Hammond Oregon has delayed their trip so no visit presently.😔
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The dentist was an anticlimax! She X-rayed me on both sides, then patched up the fillings that had fallen out. My teeth seem to be falling to bits, but I'm too old to worry. As long as they don't hurt and I can chew and swallow. The front teeth are holding out, so I look OK. 10 mins work. Cheap, because she is NHS. What a relief. I was soooo nervous and imagining the worst.
Rita - I second Barbie's suggestion of AlAnon. You need support and a new perspective on things. Find the nearest one and give it a try. I listen to inspiring podcasts and videos every day. They are a huge help to me.
Sending hugs. I was depressed much of my life. You can do this.
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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My mom bought a name brand supplement for mental clarity for forty bucks. Then we looked it up. Effectiveness was debatable, and all kinds of side effects. She took it back. Don't trust the personal anecdotes from paid people on TV.
I think the things we all seek, like good sleep and plenty of water, work the best. If you want more, try meditation. Studies support it, and no side effects! Assuming you find a comfortable posture.
Annie in Delaware1 -
Karen--Thanks for sharing your brother's art. What beautiful pictures.
Beth--Sending hugs and prayers for you and your mom.
Pip--Happy dance for answered prayers and your great news.
Michele--Hope the meds the doctor gave you helps your leg and you can get back to walking around the block without problems.
Welcome Susan from Central Florida--This is a great place for friendship and support. There are those of us who do prayers, just ask.
A friend who's husband used to work with DH had their twins this morning. Boys, one weighs 8 pounds the other just over 5 pounds. Both in NICU, but stable. So Saturday we will go to Omaha to visit. I did finish the baby blankets I was making and they are okay, but I am not happy with the corners. DH says they are fine and made with love and that is what counts.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND ,NE 6 -
Debbie from Napa CA — Thanks to you DH is now wearing two bracelets and a neck chain with medical info. We found them in his closet and put them on the moment we found them. We also had a good appointment with his doctor the next day. ❤️
Karen — I have many things that were my mom’s, including her piano and grandmother clock. There is also WW-2 china sets from Japan. Someday these sets will go to my adult children. 🌹
Lisa — I am delighted with your happiness in your home. ❤️
Rita— I hope you will find a therapist who understands your challenges and can help you find inner peace & happiness. 🌸
Teklawa 1 — We are all pleased with the help from DH’s new doctor. He is a gem. DH, DD, and I were all happy with the meeting and guidance.😊
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Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 1hr 39min 41sec, 37elev, 3.01ap, 94ahr, 116mhr, 5.01mi= 434c
Strava app= 594c
Zwift home bike trainer- strava stats- 16.27sec, 33elev, 96aw, 18.3amph, 127ahr, 158mhr, 5.02mi= 146c
Strava app= 90c
Zwift stats- 16.29min, 33elev, 95aw, 60arpm, 18.31amph, 5.03mi= 90c
Total cal 5802 -
Worked today and then went to the gym. Yea me! First went to the Y to drop off some cookies for this one gal, then the Salvation Army, then the gym, then Aldi. At the price of food, what a good reason to go on a diet….lol
I can definitely feel that the pain in my leg is getting better. Not 100% yet (but then again, I just started the prednisone yesterday) but definitely better. At least now I can sit at the computer. Before I had a hard time doing that.
Evelyn – good thoughts being sent to your husband
Heather – so sorry about your brother’s wife
Susan – welcome! Sit a spell while drinking water….
Lisa – Vince says that he won’t get me a maid because he knows me and I’d clean before the maid got here because I didn’t want her to see a mess and then I’d clean after she left because she didn’t do it my way. Unfortunately, he’s right. But I do know that he would get me a maid if I absolutely needed one. Remember how I told you Vince keeps everything “just in case”? Well, we have some Rick Steves books from about 15 years ago that he doesn’t want to get rid of “you never know”
Kim – MIL had some nice crystal at the condo. I know Jess isn’t interested in it, and really neither am I. So I took that and some Lenox china and got $8 for it. Well, $8 more in my pocket
Vicki – that was nice of you to make those blankets.
Michele NC2 -
Michele So glad your leg pain is getting better!
Annie in Delaware0 -
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minicooper452 wrote: »Rebecca! I'm coming to your house for dinner! YUM!
Pip, that is wonderful news!
Nanacutler, so glad Maisie is behaving. Good Girl.
Oh Tracey, I'm glad. Still praying for them and I'm sure they're still in shock. Yes, we're resting comfortably. LOL. OMGosh... the wonderful thing about them is, they're finally at the age where they can go run outside by themselves and we have the neighborhood for that. We've been here for 30 years so we know everyone and they know us. Everyone here acts like all the other's parents and all the kids know it! It's GREAT! Got a text from "Nicki" the other day, "Is Bear over there?", "Yup, in the backyard with Caddie and Hunter." "Okay, thanks. Send him home when you get tired of him." hahaha!
Rita, excellent progress. Praying for his recovery and your stress level to go down.
Hi Susan! Welcome.
Carla, in MN
Ok! You know any of you ladies are welcome at my table!👍💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa2 -
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Whidislander wrote: »readandlift wrote: »
I was and I had 2 bowls at noon, then a bowl in the afternoon. So like the whole pans worth! But when you break it down it was (only) a cup of chicken, 1.5 cup of noodles, 1/4 onion, 5 mushrooms, 7 baby carrots and 9 ice cubes of broth.😁
Soup did set me right.👍
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
Nice! Some real down home cooking.
🌼 Lucy
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Evening ladies
Well my old phone is packed up and ready yo go back Verizon..and now to get used to this one,actually a bit smaller and lighter than the other..1 -
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