WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY2022
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So dealt with an upset tummy all night, and not going to play tennis today. Oh boo. Last night was fajita meat in tortillas, and they didn't sit well I guess. Waiting until I feel hungry today, then have chicken broth to see how I feel.
Fun city.
Rebecca4 -
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bmorisette1002 wrote: »Would someone please sponsor me to join this group?
It's done now.
Flea
Willamette Valley OR0 -
Michelle- I had to chuckle ..you said you went downstairs to exercise in bra and undies and Jess and Colby were down there and then you went out for a walk..girl I pictured you just walking out the door in your bra and undies and taking a walk..I had to laugh .ha ha ha
Im waiting at my neighborhood splash pad..my friends are supposed to show up with grandkids but are always late and me you know am always early..5 -
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Katla ... reposting for you. I am so sorry you and your husband are dealing with a separation while your husband recovers. Having observed both my parents over the last few months while they have been in skilled nursing (separately and at different times), I would encourage you to remain in contact as best you can. Leave an iPad or cell phone with your husband so he can "FaceTime" or speak with you often. I am sure your children or grandchildren can help you set this up. A huge part of my parents' healing came from staying connected with each other. I continue to pray for you both
Beth near Buffalo9 -
Good afternoon ladies:
Have had a peaceful weekend. Yesterday was 7th anniversary of DH passing. Didn't get overly sad this year. Went for walks, cleaned house, bought a new iPad, working on setting it up. Should have spent time on some stuff for work tomorrow but had no ambition-it can wait until tomorrow. Will be doing dinner zoom with friends tonight (we switched from our standard Friday).
Katla-keeping you in prayers. Please let your children help take care of you. I know it would be hard to be separated from DH-but it you move now you can get things ready for him in a way only you can.
Pip-happy birthday to Kirby!
Debbie-hope your Sunday remained peaceful.
Allie-I got the same image in my mind when I read Michelle's message about exercise! Of course, when I look at what some people do wear in public, some of my bras and underwear cover more! So, if pajamas can be public wear, who knows what is next!
So, even though I am not doing any work work, I will go get things ready for tomorrow so I can go in a bit early (30 minutes can make all the difference!). Since I got my hair cut short, I may just wash it before dinner and let it dry and then I can take that off the get ready list. Also need to pack my lunch for tomorrow. My eating was not stellar this weekend so back on it tomorrow.
Welcome to the new ladies.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio6 -
Gayle ... welcome back!
Lisa ... "Monkey Brain" ... just makes me laugh!
Heather ... resting is when our bodies can focus on healing ...
Kay ... yes, yes we can find addresses ...
A new scale just arrived on my doorstep today and has the ability to interface with the watch and MFP. I won't be doing all of that, but my son plans to use it.
Kelly ... I don't believe they have scales that become abusive yet...
Pip ... those are nice photos of you and Kirby!
My husband and I have had multiple social events the last few days and I am proud to say that we have both done really well with his new diabetic guidelines. AND, we're both losing weight! It's taking a lot of planning, but he's onboard 100% and I've hopped on to support him. He showed me his plate yesterday at a graduation party that had the normal summer offerings and it was all vegetables and then some of the protein choices without the usual buns!
Anyways, that's all I can remember. Hope you have all had a great weekend.
Beth near Buffalo7 -
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Whidislander wrote: »So dealt with an upset tummy all night, and not going to play tennis today. Oh boo. Last night was fajita meat in tortillas, and they didn't sit well I guess. Waiting until I feel hungry today, then have chicken broth to see how I feel.
Fun city.
Rebecca
Do you like ginger?
I have a lot of trouble with my stomach so I eat ginger chews or drink ginger honey tea. It helps really fast plus I love the taste of it3 -
🎉🎂 Happy Birthday 🎂 🎉 Kirby
🥳🎉 Cheers to all those celebrating.
Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️Terri3 -
Stat for the day-
Housecleaning etc- 3hrs 50min, vacuum, dust, clean shower head, trim front and back bushes, laundry fold and put away m water plants, trim tree= 910c4 -
Happy birthday, Kirby! 🎈🎁🎂
Katla: Keeping up good thoughts for you and DH.
Lanette: I have a Frontpoint security system. Rarely do I turn it on. However, I do like having cameras in every room and on the patio. I get an alert on my phone if they detect people or animals. I do find it convenient for checking on my cat while I'm at work.
My friend has sold her condo and is moving out of state in August. She has an excellent, clean, quiet, mature male roommate who is in need of a interim place to live, so I offered my guest room and bath for the same rent he has been paying my friend. He came over today and I foresee a win-win for both of us. I will have to make some room in my fridge, freezer and kitchen cabinets, so I am going to use this as an opportunity to purge down to just the essentials. He is a healthy eater who attends a gym 4x a week, so there is good alignment with my values. He loves animals and Mars took to him immediately, so that augers well for him fitting in here. I have three trips scheduled over the next 4 months, and I welcome having him here to water my plants and keep an eye on things. Our agreement is that he can stay through end of the year, then we can reassess. Today's local news led with a story about how crazy ridiculous the rental situation has become here in the Denver area....Glad I can help out someone deserving.
Stay well friends. We can do this.
Rori
Colorado Foothills
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Machka - My heart goes out to you. You have lost your best friend. We all need a person in our lives with whom we can share our intimate thoughts. Our forbidden thoughts. Our angry, grief-filled thoughts. Our hopes. Our nightmares.
A fortunate few have someone in our life who can do this for us. Many do not.
In the late 90s I went to a grief counsellor. She was wonderful. Your grief and all the feelings you are dealing with and heroically keeping under are requiring enormous amounts of energy from you. Someone who can listen and hold that grief with you would be of enormous value.
As Barbara said, you might not find the right person straight away.
I send you all good wishes.
Heather UK xxxxxx
Thank you, Heather ...
Evidently what I'm going through has a name: Ambiguous Grief or Ambiguous Loss ... but aside from knowing what it is, and doing a little reading, that's about as far as I've gotten.
Ambiguous Grief: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive
https://whatsyourgrief.com/ambiguous-grief-grieving-someone-who-is-still-alive/
"there are times in life when someone we love becomes someone we barely recognize. The person is still physically with us, but psychologically they are gone. There are a range of reasons this can happen. Some of the most common are things like addiction, dementia, traumatic brain injuries, and mental illness. If you have never lived through loving someone in such a situation, this can be hard to understand. The person you love is still there, sometimes they ‘look’ sick, sometimes they don’t. But regardless of how they look, they do things they would never have done, they say things they would never have said, treat you in ways they never would have treated you, and they are not there for you in ways they previously were. This is sometimes referred to as “ambiguous grief” or “ambiguous loss”."
https://www.ambiguousloss.com/
"Everyone experiences ambiguous loss if only from breaking up with someone, or having aging parents or kids leaving home. As we learn from the people who must cope with the more catastrophic situations of ambiguous loss, we learn how to tolerate the ambiguity in our more common losses in everyday life."
The constant, ongoing stress is also having a negative effect on my health ... every time my blood pressure goes up, it causes a little more damage to my kidneys.
Machka in Oz
Machka: I learned about ambiguous loss from my Dementia Social Worker. It was a profound 'aha' moment that I will never forget. She asked me to tell her about my support network, and my reply to her was 'You'. Eventually expanded that circle to include a paid caregiver and my nearby niece. Please keep affirming to yourself that there are people for YOU. I am one of them.
Stay well friends. We can do this.
Rori
Colorado Foothills
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Heather – well, I for one think that the girls SHOULD have won.
Pip – Kirby doesn’t look anything like 67. You two make such a cute couple
Went to Aldi and tried to get things that I thought Colby would like to munch on while he’s working. Boy, the prices of things! I got a brush for the spa but realized that I really don’t need it – I can just use a snow brush. So I’ll take it back.
Came home to Vince force feeding Lexi. That’s just something that I don’t agree with. She’s not unconscious. To me, her body knows what it needs. To force her to have something that we think she needs could make things worse. Say she is constipated putting more food in her system might only make it worse. Jess said that she doesn't have a blockage and Vince says "I trust my vet daughter", but she can't know certain things...things that you might see on an x-ray or MRI
Allie – you had me in stitches with your “vision”. I actually did put shorts and a top on, but since I didn’t mention that detail….<smile>😂
Lisa – they used to use the term “monkey brain” all the time in yoga classes I used to take.
Debbie – I had a friend who had cancer and whenever she felt sick, she took some ginger. It really helped her.
Think I’ll go for another walk.
Rori – what a wonderful situation you have!
Jess and Colby came back from Raleigh. They were talking about going into the hot tub
Michele NC
Michele NC5 -
Kay thanks for the info that fitbit syncs with mfp, not sure I’d want that. Do you have the option to turn that feature off?
It’s really the other way. You have to turn it on. Somewhere in the MFP settings, you can allow access to certain Fitness trackers. When you allow access, the data syncs and MFP automatically adds your step calories to your daily total. I like seeing my exercise calories, even though I don’t eat them back usually.1 -
Happy Birthday, Kirby 1 -
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Happiest of Birthdays Kirby !!!
Had a nasty boating accident here on the river,1 person died,7 other taken to hospitals ,2 of them kids i think 6 and 10...not good..7 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Machka - My heart goes out to you. You have lost your best friend. We all need a person in our lives with whom we can share our intimate thoughts. Our forbidden thoughts. Our angry, grief-filled thoughts. Our hopes. Our nightmares.
A fortunate few have someone in our life who can do this for us. Many do not.
In the late 90s I went to a grief counsellor. She was wonderful. Your grief and all the feelings you are dealing with and heroically keeping under are requiring enormous amounts of energy from you. Someone who can listen and hold that grief with you would be of enormous value.
As Barbara said, you might not find the right person straight away.
I send you all good wishes.
Heather UK xxxxxx
Thank you, Heather ...
Evidently what I'm going through has a name: Ambiguous Grief or Ambiguous Loss ... but aside from knowing what it is, and doing a little reading, that's about as far as I've gotten.
Ambiguous Grief: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive
https://whatsyourgrief.com/ambiguous-grief-grieving-someone-who-is-still-alive/
"there are times in life when someone we love becomes someone we barely recognize. The person is still physically with us, but psychologically they are gone. There are a range of reasons this can happen. Some of the most common are things like addiction, dementia, traumatic brain injuries, and mental illness. If you have never lived through loving someone in such a situation, this can be hard to understand. The person you love is still there, sometimes they ‘look’ sick, sometimes they don’t. But regardless of how they look, they do things they would never have done, they say things they would never have said, treat you in ways they never would have treated you, and they are not there for you in ways they previously were. This is sometimes referred to as “ambiguous grief” or “ambiguous loss”."
https://www.ambiguousloss.com/
"Everyone experiences ambiguous loss if only from breaking up with someone, or having aging parents or kids leaving home. As we learn from the people who must cope with the more catastrophic situations of ambiguous loss, we learn how to tolerate the ambiguity in our more common losses in everyday life."
The constant, ongoing stress is also having a negative effect on my health ... every time my blood pressure goes up, it causes a little more damage to my kidneys.
Machka in Oz
Machka: I learned about ambiguous loss from my Dementia Social Worker. It was a profound 'aha' moment that I will never forget. She asked me to tell her about my support network, and my reply to her was 'You'. Eventually expanded that circle to include a paid caregiver and my nearby niece. Please keep affirming to yourself that there are people for YOU. I am one of them.
Stay well friends. We can do this.
Rori
Colorado Foothills
I really wish dh would "expand his circle" and let others help with is mother instead of doing it all (well, almost all) on his own. He doesn't see what I am doing as helping very much.
He is very bitter about doing it but won't call and get some help. Again talking about him having to quit work to take care of her. She is getting better and needs to be pushed a little to do more for herself. He is still allowing that. She wakes him up at least 3 times a night to help pull her pants up after using the commode chair. When I am there, I lay on the couch, pretending to be asleep and I can hear her doing all of it, all by herself . Yes, it takes a little longer with her cast on but she can do it if she has to.
Cast should come off in two weeks.
he complains that our house doesn't feel like home, that he is there just to pay the bills,that I don't care if he is there and our son doesn't care if he is there. Not like he was involved with us when he was home, just stuck in his room.
I actually overheard him telling someone that he either should or was going to give me the house and divorce me and just move in over there. His comments are so hurtful but he doesn't even see it
He needs to get some outside help soon- it has already been a month(today)
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dlfk202000 wrote: »Whidislander wrote: »So dealt with an upset tummy all night, and not going to play tennis today. Oh boo. Last night was fajita meat in tortillas, and they didn't sit well I guess. Waiting until I feel hungry today, then have chicken broth to see how I feel.
Fun city.
Rebecca
Do you like ginger?
I have a lot of trouble with my stomach so I eat ginger chews or drink ginger honey tea. It helps really fast plus I love the taste of it
I have been having my ACV every day, and that does help. I think it was because of the meat pieces in the fajitas. I don't really eat steak anymore. I have tried ginger chews before and enjoyed them. Need to buy from our Asian store keep on hand. Thanks for the reminder!👍
Rebecca1 -
Lisa - I wouldn’t have thought that the heat would cause low blood pressure. Glad you have it known though.
Katla - that must have been a stressful situation. I bet you were happy your children came.
Katla - you saying Monday off messes you up. All week we complained that having Friday instead of Monday messed us up. Lol
I think hospitals and healthcare facilities need to use some common sense.
Good idea on turning things off. We need to do that.
Kelly - is the CBD helping your husbands pain?
We are noticing colds and stuff going around here too.
I need a scale that will slap a fork out of my hand too.
Rori - when I worked in security we had a few people that worked events for us, they used to have so much fun.
Allie - I love your imagination. The way you have Rhody enjoying a bike ride 🥰
Vicki - do you know why your balance is off lately?
Heather - what a lovely surprise from Bea.
Rita - hope you have a successful surgery. I like this group for sharing my life too.
Barbara - the chronic pain is manageable for the most part, some days worse than others. I tend to wake a lot during the night and have for years.
I have hit small things while driving. I never want to look at the front of the car afterwards.
One time there was a groundhog. that i thought for sure I hit. When I looked in the rear view mirror I swear he was on the yellow line sing “I’m all right”i
Ginny - I keep getting suggested ads for devices and electronic games that are to strengthen the pelvic floor. You can imagine what those ads look like.
Debbie - I hope your hubby relents and gets outside help. I am like your husband and MIL though, I hate leftovers except for a very few things.
Kylia - I think it’s about time you just run that business alone. She hasn’t shown much of an interest since I’ve been reading along in this group in 2018.
I am so fortunate that I can talk to DH about anything. Stuff that I know will annoy him I have two friends I can talk to. I do believe though, that they all know different parts of me.
Machka - the ambiguous loss is quite true. I feel that way about my mom. I have found my self saying things about Mom in the past tense when she’s still here. I really need to vividly her soon.
Debbie - I feel so sad and mad for you. How awful to know that’s how he feels.
I went to visit my cousin’s granddaughter, she has the new baby I posted about a week ago. I have never held such a tiny baby. She is 5lbs 1.5ozs. She’s gained the .5 oz since her birth. Her little finger is from the top of my pinky to the first knuckle.
When her 3 year old opened the door for me, she said “come, come see my baby”. She is sweet too.
The dog sitting is over, he left about an hour ago. He is a well behaved dog but he takes up a lot of room.
Can’t believe it’s Sunday evening again.
Tracey in Edmonton4 -
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Hi Ladies
Popping in to say Hello.
Katla you are in my thoughts
Not sleeping too well in the heat, we are so not used to this continual heat wave.
We take Leah for a walk early morning when it is cooler, then a quick toilet break around lunchtime and her main evening walk has been getting later and later - and it is still too hot! I have the patio door open most of the day so she can go outside in the garden if she wants to, but she prefers it when someone is outside playing with her, so spends most of the afternoon snoozing inside
I wonder if I can muster up some energy to do my exercises, well it's now or never.
Up to P17 so still a bit behind, hugs to those that need them
Take care and love to all
Viv UK
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DH is doing better, but I don’t know when he will be able to come home. I plan to visit him tomorrow morning. I want to see how he is doing. I keep hoping he will be able to come home. Maybe it will be soon, but we don’t know.
Our son & daughter have been busy taking care of our challenges. Thank goodness.10 -
DH is doing better, but I don’t know when he will be able to come home. I plan to visit him and hope it will be tomorrow morning. I want to see how he is doing. I keep hoping he will be able to come home. Maybe it will be soon.
Our son & daughter have been busy rearranging our home in ways I dislike. They want us to move in with them. I want to spend time with them and visit but I don’t want to do things their way, I want to stay in our home and do things my way
I hope you can see your husband soon. If they are keeping him in this long, it must have been quite a serious heart attack (or several of them).
However, you may not be able to stay in your home. It might be better for both you and your husband to move closer to your children and into a place that is easier to move around and maintain.
I know that will happen with my husband and me one day. We're just hanging in here, but I figure that it would probably be good to move to an easier house within about 5 years. That's just how life goes.
Machka in Oz
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Every time I see your photos of the beach, I wonder about all the pebbles. Can't imagine that when all I've ever seen was white sand.
Carol in GA
Beaches here are a mix of sand and rock.
Well, it is a lovely Sunday morning and the triathalon is going on. The turnaround point for the "sprint" distance for the bike portion is about two houses north of mine. There is a man with a megaphone. Need I say more? lol I really don't mind, but I am sure it is no fun for those who live right at the turnaround point. It is fun to see the cyclists who are doing the "olympic" distance go whizzing by. They ride south for another 10k, then turn around to complete their 40k ride; dismount and begin their run segment. The temps this morning are actually quite perfect for this event. A lovely, cool, 65*F. The lake temp is in the 60s (actually pretty normal for July), and it is flat as glass, so it was probably a nice swim portion.
Hugs to all who need them! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)
I'd be out there cheering them on.
Machka in Oz
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Feeling proud of myself this morning.
My brother had not got back to me about the projected visit this week, so I texted them as to when they might come. My DSIL replied that it could be next Sunday and Monday, or Sat Sun. I was immediately struck by apprehension, because the predicted temps for next Sunday are over 95°F. I am not good in the heat and usually spend the day lying down in a darkened room. This week is hot enough!
I decided that I would explain all that in a text, plus covid hangover, and ask them to postpone the visit. I felt bad because DSIL works and she had this week off.
I was relieved to get a text back, saying that she too was finding the heat hard and she completely understood. Hooray!
I listen to so many podcasts about boundaries and read so many books, that I was delighted to put it into practice! I had already stipulated, only one night because I felt uncomfortable with two. I have learnt to obey that little, niggling, tummy lurch, that tells me a boundary has been crossed and I am not comfortable.
I want to enjoy their visit, not dread it.
I replied with a Love you text.
Katla - Big hugs from me.
DH is at cricket. Rather him than me in the heat. He has to leave it early so we are ready for my son to pick us up for the Women's Euro match this evening. I'm really only going for Edie, but I feel it is important to show her we care about the women's football she loves. It's against Norway! Somewhere we love and are going again next year!
I'm going to have bacon sandwiches ready for when he gets home.
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Machka those birds have an intimidating look. Rhody is one smart cat.
Lighter, lovelies!
They're not too scary. They like fruit and nuts and things, so they aren't after nibbles of us. We were standing about 2 metres from them. They flew in and chatted to each other. Some flew a little further away and chatted from a distance, and then flew back again. They're very social ... and gorgeous!
Size: From 55 cm to 65 cm (Length of specimen) (22 in to 26 in)
Wingspan: Up to 110 cm (43 in)
Tail Length: 33 cm (13 in)
https://www.gaiaguide.info/Group.html?groupId=rG46tkeY
Local legend says they're foretellers of weather change, especially rain. Some refer to them as "rainbirds".
And incidentally, it's supposed to start raining about midnight, and rain all day and into tomorrow.SophieRosieMom wrote: »Just finished partially dismantling DH's gaming computer he had in his office. I figured out where the hard drives were and with some help with the short phillips head screwdriver, gained access to them. Had to cut thru some wire harnesses but managed to pull out the whole data housing. Will take the rest of the CPU to recycle and the hard drives have been smashed up and put into garbage.
Why dismantling his computers? Are they old and out of date?SophieRosieMom wrote: »Gosh I love my time alone, doing whatever pops into my mind whenever without planning around someone else's schedule for meal preparation, activities of daily living. I used to think DH's desire to not be around people was the reason I didn't didn't interact much with others, but I'm seeing it was me as well. I've gotten three invitations to lunch and/or BBQ's this past week. I've agreed to the lunch with a former co-worker who is retiring, but will skip the BBQ's. Too many people. Draining, busy. I never have enjoyed them.
Lanette
Cloudy and cool SW WA State
I also love my alone time. I don't get much alone time anymore. But I love it!
Many times I have wished I could talk to someone ALL about my husband's accident. I've told people little snippets here and there. Quick summaries. On FB, I've posted applicable memes now and then. But I've never sat down with someone and poured my heart out. I've never told anyone all about my husband's accident.
The 4th choice above is: "talk it out - speak to someone you trust about how you are feeling". I have not been able to do that over the past 4+ years and I'm not sure I ever will. By this point, I'm not sure how beneficial it would be. I don't know that it would change anything or help anything.
Meanwhile, today, I have more or less focused on the 1st choice ... things I am grateful for and things in my control. I've slept - for which I am very grateful. I'm comfortably watching the Tour de France - which I enjoy. And I've tidied half the house and have gotten a few things done - things in my control.
Machka in Oz
One thing my psych asked me is do I have a support network. Really made me think. I found 2 people and this group after really thinking about it. The 2 people are long distance and need to be by phone or other electronic means. I have a potential third but not sure I can confide in them yet. I have been using an app on my iPhone called “MoodLinks “ which is helping me daily work out my thoughts and feelings. Not many people use it but I love it and was able to share it with my psychiatrist. Please reach out to one of us or a friend. It will help tremendously to let it all out.
RvRita
I'm actually in a place where I don't want to think about my thoughts and feelings. Especially my feelings. My medication is helping a lot with that ... keeping me calmly numb. Feelings would just complicate things.
There's actually a lot I can't talk about for legal reasons. That's a big reason why I don't post much here.
There's also a lot I don't feel comfortable talking about. Things I don't think my husband would appreciate being common knowledge. I wouldn't like him doing that to me, if I developed dementia or something.
And there's a lot that would probably bore the socks off people.dlfk202000 wrote: »all that walking this past week- 88,781 steps and I gained back the pound I lost last week.
I haven't had that many steps in a week ever. 15 straight days of 10K or more.
Have a wonderful Sunday Ladies
Debbie
Napa Valley
CA
You could be retaining a little water. I do when I exercise a bit more than usual.dlfk202000 wrote: »Whidislander wrote: »So dealt with an upset tummy all night, and not going to play tennis today. Oh boo. Last night was fajita meat in tortillas, and they didn't sit well I guess. Waiting until I feel hungry today, then have chicken broth to see how I feel.
Fun city.
Rebecca
Do you like ginger?
I have a lot of trouble with my stomach so I eat ginger chews or drink ginger honey tea. It helps really fast plus I love the taste of it
I have ginger pills and crystalised ginger for my bus trips home after work in the dark.
Machka in Oz
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