WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2022
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SophieRosieMom wrote: »DH and I didn't want to have kids just to have someone else raise them, and by the time we could afford it, my baby clock had nearly run out and DH was diagnosed with RA. We had moved to the west coast so mom wasn't close by.
Call me nuts, but in my mind's eye I would see a child from time to time as I grew older. I had a likely miscarriage right after we were married and never conceived after that.
Lanette
SW WA State
My first husband and I waited to have kids till we could afford it, then I had 2 or maybe 3 miscarriages.
Much later, in 2009 when I had DVT, I was tested and they discovered I have a genetic mutation which increases my chances of DVT and also reduces my chances of carrying a child to term.
But I worked in childcare for a couple years.
M in Oz
4 -
Morning ladies
My parents helped out when they could ,but didn't watch mine all the time i waitressed and Rich worked 3rd shift so during the day I took them up to my parents,they got to see my mom and my grandmother daily..my grandmother passed when Tracy was 3 and I got a full time job.. my girlfriend was doing inhome daycare and Dan was in school so it worked out.
Both Tracy and Kyle are very very thankful I am watching him.and it is only for a 1/2 day so she still gets to spend lots of time with him..
Im doing what I can as a grandma to help out. And he loves his grandma..8 -
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grandmallie wrote: »Morning ladies
My parents helped out when they could ,but didn't watch mine all the time i waitressed and Rich worked 3rd shift so during the day I took them up to my parents,they got to see my mom and my grandmother daily..my grandmother passed when Tracy was 3 and I got a full time job.. my girlfriend was doing inhome daycare and Dan was in school so it worked out.
Both Tracy and Kyle are very very thankful I am watching him.and it is only for a 1/2 day so she still gets to spend lots of time with him..
Im doing what I can as a grandma to help out. And he loves his grandma..
I'm glad it's working for you.
M in Oz1 -
Challenge picture:
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Good morning all! I have been reading along and enjoying all of the pics! It is Thursday morning and the first time I have NOT had a grandchild on my lap or beside me, since their arrival on Sunday eve. While having them and holding them has been wonderful. I am EXHAUSTED. Round the clock care for small children is NOT for the over 50 set. lol Granted, with my DD and her hubby here, I am not getting up in the middle of the night with the kids; but we have been busy doing and going every day. Today we will be going to a farm called the Critter Barn and letting the kids explore and play with the animals, then we will stop at Post Family Farms and walk the corn maze, take a hayride and pick our pumpkins. It will just be Tim and I with the kids from tomorrow afternoon until late Saturday night, due to my DD and DSIL heading to a friends rehearsal dinner, wedding and reception. My plan for the boys is to just hang at home and do creative things. Crafts, science experiments, maybe bake some cookies, play outside...
Maternity leave and caring for children- I received 6 weeks paid maternity leave for both of my children. I took my six weeks and went back to work. I do think it would be wonderful if parents in the U.S. could receive months to years of paid maternity leave; BUT speaking as a childcare provider, I can tell you, the children who are home with mama for the first year (or more) are no better off, socially and emotionally, than the child who is home with mama for 6 weeks. If anything, the children who attend a childcare setting (a minimum of three days a week) from infancy are usually quite a bit further along in the social-emotional development than those who have had the extended time home with parents/grandparents. We always talk about how those first few months are when children need their parents the most...I would disagree with that. Children KNOW who their parents are and close connections are built en utero and immediately following birth. A caring and nurturing adult can fill an infant/ toddler/preschooler's all around growth needs while parents are working. I think the time that children need their parents to be around, closely supervising, listening, helping with problems and concerns would be adolescence. I think maternity/paternity leave would be well used when the children hit puberty. That is the time when the rift between children and parents develops into a chasm of communication errors, lack of understanding, patience, etc. THIS would be the time parents need to be home more.
Karen- O my, Olivia! And her brother (Why can't I remember his name?) That is such a sweet pic!
Pip- You and Kirby have such big hearts! Taking in the grandpups and providing Yogi with some packmates! Love the new car!
Ope! Here come the grands! Just Joaquin and Miguel this morning. Javi went on a breakfast date with his mama and a friend of hers from school.
Love and hugs to you all. ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)4 -
Another rainy day. Yep, more rain. And there's a good chance it will rain all day tomorrow too. We're well over the long-term average for October's rainfall. In fact, we've been over the long-term average for rainfall 7 months of the past year so far. I don't want super dry weather, but slightly drier might be nice.
My dry stream is wet clay at the moment and it doesn't look like I'll be able to work on it for the foreseeable future.
However, meanwhile, I've got more work done on my office! I was able to move enough stuff out of the office that I could move the file boxes from the dining room into the office. The dining room looks slightly less like an office now.
Tomorrow's plan is to move an under-desk set of drawers from the dining room into the office. And then I'll contemplate rearranging the dining room a bit.
One of the goals is to have room for the Christmas Tree!!
I can't quite remember what we did last year except I think we just shoved the dining room stuff all together so that I couldn't get into any drawers, file boxes, etc.
Sorry, I know this is probably incredibly boring but it's exciting for me because it's something I've had in mind to do for years. But everything else took priority. And doing all this now puts us in a less stressful position if/when we move.
One tip ... even if a job seems too big to tackle, if you spend an hour and organise a little bit, your future self will thank you! I'm finding little pockets of order here and there, and I vaguely recall doing a bit now and then when I had a little time. It's a little less I have to deal with now.
Plus I walked 5 km in 53 minutes on the treadmill.
Machka in Oz7 -
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Miles and Aslan taking a snooze.. thought it was cute!!
Going to give him some oatmeal when he wakes up..7 -
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Cc2
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Morning, afternoon and evening, all...
Along the overall lines of the conversation, but with a swerve, my husband's 50-year-old brother just sold his house in Texas and moved to Arizona, into his middle daughter's home, to provide in-home care for her two little boys. It's been in the works for quite some time. Hailé and her husband both work and she and her dad are really close, so it works out well for all concerned. You hear a lot about grandma keeping the grands, but not usually grandpa. I think he's taking the chance to raise boys because he raised three girls already. Out of 12 in his generation, six of them male, my husband was the only one who had a son; the rest all spawned girls. The six women of the family had more than a dozen boys between them all. Our John is the only one who carries their last name.
Just got my morning call from Corey - he informed me that he's taking next Wednesday off to drive me to my iron infusion appointment up at the VA hospital an hour away. He never says that he worries, he just says he's going to drive me. Tough guy. Much like his brother. Their mom abandoned them when Corey was in his early teens, and I've always been impressed by the fact that the men in the family do not care one whit for traditional roles. Corey's the cook in our family, and as you can see above, Pat really enjoys the childcare side of things. They're an interesting bunch.
Rebecca - thinking about you, hope all's well.
Evie - So good to see you posting!
Karen - So love that picture, and remember it well...
KJ - Nice to see you weigh in, as well, and really interesting observations.
Lanette - I think Kim means here?: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/123702-women-ages-50
That's it for me - best friend is yakking in my ear an hour early...
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
8 -
Good morning all!
Karen- O my, Olivia! And her brother (Why can't I remember his name?) That is such a sweet pic!
Ope! Here come the grands! Just Joaquin and Miguel this morning. Javi went on a breakfast date with his mama and a friend of hers from school.
Love and hugs to you all. ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)
The beautiful blond boy's name is Phoenix.
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Another rainy day. Yep, more rain. And there's a good chance it will rain all day tomorrow too. We're well over the long-term average for October's rainfall. In fact, we've been over the long-term average for rainfall 7 months of the past year so far. I don't want super dry weather, but slightly drier might be nice.
My dry stream is wet clay at the moment and it doesn't look like I'll be able to work on it for the foreseeable future.
However, meanwhile, I've got more work done on my office! I was able to move enough stuff out of the office that I could move the file boxes from the dining room into the office. The dining room looks slightly less like an office now.
Tomorrow's plan is to move an under-desk set of drawers from the dining room into the office. And then I'll contemplate rearranging the dining room a bit.
One of the goals is to have room for the Christmas Tree!!
I can't quite remember what we did last year except I think we just shoved the dining room stuff all together so that I couldn't get into any drawers, file boxes, etc.
Sorry, I know this is probably incredibly boring but it's exciting for me because it's something I've had in mind to do for years. But everything else took priority. And doing all this now puts us in a less stressful position if/when we move.
One tip ... even if a job seems too big to tackle, if you spend an hour and organise a little bit, your future self will thank you! I'm finding little pockets of order here and there, and I vaguely recall doing a bit now and then when I had a little time. It's a little less I have to deal with now.
Plus I walked 5 km in 53 minutes on the treadmill.
Machka in Oz
It's not boring to me! You inspired me to tackle the next dreaded area in my house - storage under the stairs. Most of it belongs to my brother. Each time he moves (6 times in the last 7 years), I bring more of his artwork and other belongings to my house to store under the stairs, to the point that it was completely full. Now that he is living here, he and I are going through it together. He is superb at letting go of things. Now I just have to figure out what to do with all the artwork he doesn't want...
Karen in Virginia7 -
Photo Challenge
My cousins and I! We all lived within a 1/4 mile of each other and are gathered at my grandmother's house. Old South idea of keeping the family together. I am the one with the pig tails.
Carol in GA
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Now that he is living here, he and I are going through it together. He is superb at letting go of things. Now I just have to figure out what to do with all the artwork he doesn't want...
Karen in Virginia
Talk to a local gallery about a show, or simply sell it and put it in the bank for his future needs... I would buy any of the pieces I've seen so far - he has such a gift. While he may not feel he can deal with the public, a gallery can do all the work...6 -
I am currently in Illinois. Our daughter lives near here and is brilliant. DH has health challenges. He is currently getting ready to transfer to a health care facility about 30 minutes from our daughter’s place. I hope to visit frequently, and that DH will get better day by day.
❤️ ⭐️ ❤️9 -
I love learning how to do things on the computer! I finally see how to reduce the size of photos so they aren't so large.
Carol in GA5 -
Hi Gals,
Lanette and Lisa, Lanette Lisa posted the right link. Lisa thanks for doing that for me.
KJ – I had often wondered about the best time for parents to have kids in care, the parents I know are often not ready to leave the baby till about 6 months, but the kids really need a parent at about 11-12 years old. My god kids knew I would make time for them, come get them at the drop of a hat, and from 10 years – 16 years were the time I saw the most of them. They needed to tell someone -who was not judgmental about their day, about the “awful” teacher, the “awful” friend – and while in some cases the situation was indeed awful, most of the time it was more that they didn’t get what they needed or wanted out of the situation and Mom and Dad were to disconnected to figure it out.
Karen in Virginia – an “online” gallery – If you just DYI a document with photos, sizes and price and sent it to friends/family and me! (It sounds like Lisa too) and maybe others here, you probably could sell some of it.
Carol - I am so glad you are learning new things, remember these when you think of the bigger scarier things – we all have confidence that you can learn/accomplish what ever you put your mind to.
Kim in cool N. California
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Machka ~ I kept my two grands the first year of their life out of love. Not only that, but also like Allie, I supplied things they needed like formula, diapers, food, etc. After the first year, they went to day care.
I went for my first bone density test this morning. I had no idea how it was done, but, it was such a simple procedure. Now, I need to schedule a mammogram.
Carol in GA
Ah ... there's a country difference.
In Canada and Australia, parental leave is somewhere between 1 and 2 years depending on a number of factors. It used to be 9 months, I think, but it has been extended.
Parental leave in the U.S. is 6-12 weeks, sometimes. It varies by state too. That time off also includes any time one must take off to care for someone else who needs it, such as a parent. So, if you have a baby and a parent needs care in the same calendar year, you have UP TO 12 weeks (by law) of partially paid leave, sometimes. Some states pay nothing for this. All it does is require the employer to give you the time off and keep "a job" available for you.
Hence the need for family members to help with childcare.
Edit: In addition to what employers are required to provide, the employee also worries about what role they will have, if they take the time off. Also, they have to take ALL vacation time they have stored up before the 6-12 weeks kicks in. So, when they go back to work, they don't have any paid time off to take.
Some employers are more flexible about this than others.
Tina in CA3 -
I have lived an hour away from my parents for the past 30 yrs. No one to watch ds when I worked BUT- that was not needed because I was the one working from home, watching other people's kids while they worked. I was licensed daycare provider until just a few years ago.
He is an only child but never felt like he was because I have always had kids around. When he was little the dc kids would be here when he woke up even(he was never an early riser, ever). Usually had ones around his age. For quite a few years I had four others the same age- five in total within one year of each other. Taylor was the youngest at 2 and his brother was 3, the other three were inbetween those two.
Side note- at one point I had the four boys(the girl had moved) and Noah was upset one day, asked him why, it was because he was the only one that was NOT adopted-Ray and Taylor was and my son was but not Noah.
Jona was best friends with Noah from age one- not as close now,drifted when they went to different middle schools, but we are still very close with the family- I pet sit for them, the mom is my walking buddy and now, back at Zumba with me.
Debbie
Napa Valley,CA4 -
Update: my doctors appointment earlier this week went ok. It was with a corpsman I had never met, but my regular doctor wasn't available. It was a last minute, I'm frustrated because my plumbing isn't working appointment. So she said, "why aren't you taking your Mirilax or Meta Mucil? I answered, " well because my doctor said not to". Its frustrating when they conflict, but my doctor didn't know I would end up constipated. So this corpsman says I need to do a complete cleanse, so I have been doing that since 3 am Wednesday morning, when the floodgates opened.🙄😂. All day yesterday stayed close to the bathroom, but was able to eat a small tomato sandwich, and evening I made myself a small turkey pot pie (Marie Callenders). I was able to take my pain med last night, knowing I was so not backed up. Slept really well.
Today is just two glasses with the powder in it. I am on day 3 of this cleanse. Day #1 was 64 oz/ 8 cap fulls, day #2 was 32 oz/ 8 cap fulls, then today is two glasses/ 2 cap fulls. I then take 2 pills Dulculax at dinnertime.
I got my two referrals for specialists. My gallbladder surgeon is down in Coupeville, and see them Nov 1st. My kidney doctor is over in Mt Vernon, and they told me I needed to get my doctor to send a better referral authorization, so called clinic about that. But things are slowly rolling.
This morning I made myself 2 fried eggs and a piece of rye toast. It was yummy! Drank my 1st glass with powder. Feeling better, and not any pressure, and spasms.
That first day of cleanse though.... I didn't eat much of anything, moaned and cried, until Lee demanded I take a pain med. I was yelling and it was awful. It kicked in and I calmed down, but I really hate feeling lousy. Lee just goes downstairs when I am difficult. To take a pill that makes you miserable in the first place is difficult. Granted it relaxes me, but its a struggle. Anyways, I think I am doing SO much better. As long as I take a glass of the powder, it will help me process. And if I need a pain pill, I won't feel so awful taking it.
Hugs to you all!
Hey if any of you wish my address to send me your old calendars, just send me a message.👍🏻💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
WA
My middle son and family in Camas WA, downtown had a Halloween event. My son drew the Teenage Ninja Turtle design and his cricut machine helped him to make the teeshirts. Then they made the eyewear. Athena told them which Ninja turtle they would be. I answered, "of course she did"..💖👍🏻
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SophieRosieMom wrote: »Happy Thursday ladies!
Call me nuts, but in my mind's eye I would see a child from time to time as I grew older. I had a likely miscarriage right after we were married and never conceived after that.
Lanette
SW WA State
don't think you are nuts- Went through the same thing. Former hubby and I talk about it often. Growing up, all I wanted to be was a wife and mom, didn't want a job, just wanted kids. That didn't work out the way I planned but I do have my son whom we adopted when he was 1 1/2 weeks old.
It was very hard going through all that- seeing my older sister keep having more kids(by different guys), her wanting to show off her new baby right after I had just lost mine- asked my mom was she being mean or just stupid-5 kids, at least 4 fathers, Then while I was going through fertility treatment- up to 36 shots and 7 blood tests in a week, she had two more, living on welfare.
Debbie7 -
I had to look up maternity leave in the UK. You get 90% for the first 39 + weeks, then £155 for the next 33, approx. In Scandinavia the leave is for well over a year at 90% for both/either parents.
6 weeks does not seem nearly enough.
Allie -You are doing a fantastic job for that little boy. Love goes both ways. Security is everything. You do need to have the ability to take time off though for breaks and holidays.
My brother's visit went great. This morning I actually managed 20 mins rowing. We set off to walk 45 mins to the restaurant at 11.15 and everyone really enjoyed their meal.
Then DH set off home and the rest of us went to visit my DSIL's niece, who works in The Lanes. The restaurant was empty, so she made us tea and we had a good long chat. Some quite difficult subjects. Good.
Then we set off for the big pharmacy to buy basic medicines for the cruise. My DSIL had to buy the co-codamol for me as I had already bought my allowance of paracetamol!
My poor brother was a bit dismayed when we girls decided to window shop in a home store. He waited outside while we had fun.
Then caught the bus home.
After a short rest, they set off home.
They made a nice contribution to Edie's fund for her Alzheimers charity swim. 1 km.
Washing machine delivery tomorrow morning. I'm hoping it will be finished by the time the kids arrive for lunch.
Went out and bought frankfurters etc for tomorrow.
Now knackered and feeling grateful for a Pernod.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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10/27/22 day 9 of life is good challenge. By the way, I feel like after the 10 days, we should keep it up. What do you all think?
RvRita in NM
Ps. My DB and me!9 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »I had to look up maternity leave in the UK. You get 90% for the first 39 + weeks, then £155 for the next 33, approx. In Scandinavia the leave is for well over a year at 90% for both/either parents.
6 weeks does not seem nearly enough.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Six weeks is not nearly enough to do any of the things we in the U.S. have to cram into it when needed.
Tina in CA1
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