WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2022
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In Canada and Australia, parental leave is somewhere between 1 and 2 years depending on a number of factors. It used to be 9 months, I think, but it has been extended.
When I was having my babies (oldest just turned 37), I could only be off for 3 or 4 months while collecting maternity benefits. I was working blue collar jobs, so perhaps it would have been different if I'd had a gov't or union job. Now that has changed and women are entitled to about 9 mos to a year of maternity benefits. I worked nights and weekends so that we didn't have to pay for childcare, I really didn't want to work just to have someone else raise my baby and I was working because we needed the money. By the time our second son arrived, my parents were living close by and would look after them when dh's and my schedules overlapped, usually just a few hours a few days a week. When both boys were fully in school, I was able to transition to more of a day job, but still worked at least one day on the weekend, and my parents still took them before and after school. My oldest now has two kids of his own and I take our 3 year old gd two days a week and also get our 6 year old gs after school those days. I was bringing them to our place after school last spring, and had just been staying at the school and letting them play for up to 2 hours as the weather was so nice, but that's changing now and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with them. DH is suffering from chronic nerve pain and has been for almost a year. We are waiting to hear from a pain clinic to have a nerve conduction test that will hopefully point the direction for the
next step.
I never paid my parents for looking after the kids and I don't get paid for looking after the grands. I like to think of it as building a relationship with them that will hopefully last and that they will look back on with fond memories. I never had that with my grandparents as most of them were gone by the time I came along and my only grandfather lived quite far away.
Sorry, my rant for the day!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island where we are finally getting some rain! (hopefully the creeks will get enough so that the salmon can get up to their spawing grounds soon!)6 -
So it turns out we are staying home for our entire holiday. We have had an incredible amount of rain in the northern part of the state with even more rain coming this week. There has been all sorts of flooding, roads are still closed and more will likely be closed when the rain starts tomorrow. The police are recommending no non-essential travel at all throughout the state.
But that's OK!
Machka in Oz
One of the reasons that it is OK we're staying home is that I have more time to work on my dry stream (if it doesn't get too wet in all the rain) AND I've started working on my home office.
My home office is the smallest bedroom in our house and when I say small, I do mean small. It's also the most cluttered room in the house. It's become the place we put stuff when we don't know what else to do with it. I would like to turn it into something more useful. It's very small, but still ...
Underneath all the clutter are stack and drawers of paper: documents neatly filed in a filing cabinet (buried by stuff), binders full of university notes, boxes full of other mail and whatnot that has made it way in. Ideally, I'd like to toss what I don't need anymore, scan what I do need a copy of (and toss the paper) and file what I need to keep for a decade or whatever.
My home office has also spilled out to the dining room area where my chair and laptop is (and several file boxes of paper) so it will have to be included in this organisational attempt.
I walked into the room and wondered where on earth to start.
So I reached out and touched the first thing ... and the next thing ... and the next thing ...
It's been like a game of pick-up sticks. Pick up something without knocking the whole pile over.
But it has begun.
Machka in OzKetoneKaren wrote: »Machka - My mom died about 20 years ago. She had a lot of belongings, but there was only one truly disorganized area in the house, a small office/breezeway between the house and the added-on garage. Every time I walked into the room, I turned right around and went to find something else to work on. Then my older brother came to pick up some items, and he offered to help with the cluttered room - his method was simple: we started in one corner, he worked counter-clockwise, I worked clockwise, and when we met we were done. It was a particularly good method for clearing out our disorganized, cluttered space. We stayed out of each other's way, consulted when needed, and were both motivated to keep going by the other person's industriousness. If I were doing an office clean out where the goal was to organize rather than clear out the space, I might use another method, but in either case, getting a clear corner or wall space is a psychological boost.
Katla, I, too, am glad your health is being looked after. And I am glad your husband is stable after his procedure. (((Hugs))) to you both.
Karen in Virginia
I've wanted a second person to help me with this for some time, but a second person has not materialised so I'm on my own.
However, my first step was to go through the biggest pile of .... basically ... whatever. Some of it belongs downstairs or elsewhere, some of it needs shredding for mulch, some of it was my cycling stuff. I hadn't realised so much of my cycling stuff was in there.
Now I'm onto the sort things into meaningful piles stage. All my cycling stuff is in one pile. University notes are going into another pile which I'll flip through at some stage (soon) and will shred most of it. Brain injury stuff is going into another pile.
Travel stuff ... I'm torn on this one. I'm a collector of brochures and information pages from places we've been. I probably don't need to keep all that because things change and most of it is available online now. Plus if something is a particularly important memory I can scan or photograph it. But maps ... I have a massive quantity of maps. I love maps. I pour over maps. My initial inclination is to keep all the maps ... but I do have a massive quantity of them and they take up space.
Anyway ... I'm pleased with my progress so far.
Machka in Oz
Machka, Well...I think maps are like books. If you love them and they spark joy, you keep them. The ones you are 'meh' about you can donate or toss. Organizing them into a file box or other place that is easy to keep/access will solve the messy factor and make it easier to lay your hands on the exact one you want to look at. Just a thought.
Karen in Virginia
p.s. I really love the upcycle gift bag idea!2 -
My brother and his wife arrived in good time, so we were able to eat all together, apart from DH and I sharing a Scotch egg earlier. Lots of chat.
Apart from all our various holidays, my DSIL shared a wonderful story about how she went up alone in the train to see all the flowers for the Queen. My brother didn't want to go, so she went on her own. On her walkabout near the Thames, she saw something that looked a bit like a queue, so, out of curiosity, she joined it, to see how long it was etc. 7 hours later she was at Westminster Hall to view the Lying in State. It was quite the adventure, meeting many different people, and experiencing a range of emotions as she got nearer. The point at which she felt herself committed to the journey was when she got her green wristband. Security took her expensive hand cream and her talcum powder. But she found herself, quite unexpectedly, crying, as she went up the steps to enter the hall. (She is not a royalist) She also got to be there when they changed the guard.
The whole thing was quite an out of body experience for her. Doing it on her own. A Big Adventure.
I was so taken with this story and the way she told it, that I might write a short story about it. Called, 'Joining the Queue'.
DH is a bit uncomfortable with visitors, but it's all going well. They are awake upstairs, but have not come down yet.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Photo challenge:
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Still skimmin’ only to pg but just had to say
Rebecca that just doesn’t sound right. Hope your MD gets you some help… and
Thanks Allie for that quote about fading away and getting our sparks back . . . and
Debbie I’m surprised your wellness coach didn’t suggest any stress relieving techniques. You’ve been through so much these past through years, cortisol levels must be up through the roof. . . and
Machka those married bears made me snort my water. . . and
((hugs)) to Lisa, Heather, Allie, Michele and all the brave survivors.
Karen and Barbie, yours to Allie. Truth.
Margaret, yours to Lisa. Likewise replacing that evil-hiding-in-the-ordinary image with Lisa’s rapturous wedding pic.
Jean “liquid rocks”? That must be some hard water.
Ah finally caught up.
Anyone heard from Beth lately?
Way late to the Rita’s challenge, but here goes:
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2022: Be still and listen.
October: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
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Feel good challenge.
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Happy Thursday ladies!
My mom looked after my niece and nephew, and they lived next door to each other. I just ran across this photo. I think she loved caring for them, but it did take time out of her day. She wasn't helping Dad farm anymore but still had chores to do.
DH and I didn't want to have kids just to have someone else raise them, and by the time we could afford it, my baby clock had nearly run out and DH was diagnosed with RA. We had moved to the west coast so mom wasn't close by.
Call me nuts, but in my mind's eye I would see a child from time to time as I grew older. I had a likely miscarriage right after we were married and never conceived after that.
Tracey - snow and ice? I'm getting the chills just thinking about it. Hope your bruises heal. Ouch!
Kim - I think of you and your chilly house. My house seems awfully cool without the wood stove going, but it's much cleaner and no smoke. I have maybe a week's worth of firewood tucked back in case we lose power this winter. I'm trying to determine what temp to set the thermostat to keep it bearable, 67 seems good during the day, 63 at night. It's always 2 to 3 degrees colder in the living room than it is in the hall where the thermostat is so I have a little space heater by my chair set to the low wattage setting.
Did I read it right you were posting a large document about trust to the group? If so I must have skimmed by it.
Heather - what's the weather going to be like on your cruise? Are you packing fall clothes or will you get to enjoy some warm summery days?
Lanette
SW WA State
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SophieRosieMom wrote: »DH and I didn't want to have kids just to have someone else raise them, and by the time we could afford it, my baby clock had nearly run out and DH was diagnosed with RA. We had moved to the west coast so mom wasn't close by.
Call me nuts, but in my mind's eye I would see a child from time to time as I grew older. I had a likely miscarriage right after we were married and never conceived after that.
Lanette
SW WA State
My first husband and I waited to have kids till we could afford it, then I had 2 or maybe 3 miscarriages.
Much later, in 2009 when I had DVT, I was tested and they discovered I have a genetic mutation which increases my chances of DVT and also reduces my chances of carrying a child to term.
But I worked in childcare for a couple years.
M in Oz
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Morning ladies
My parents helped out when they could ,but didn't watch mine all the time i waitressed and Rich worked 3rd shift so during the day I took them up to my parents,they got to see my mom and my grandmother daily..my grandmother passed when Tracy was 3 and I got a full time job.. my girlfriend was doing inhome daycare and Dan was in school so it worked out.
Both Tracy and Kyle are very very thankful I am watching him.and it is only for a 1/2 day so she still gets to spend lots of time with him..
Im doing what I can as a grandma to help out. And he loves his grandma..8 -
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grandmallie wrote: »Morning ladies
My parents helped out when they could ,but didn't watch mine all the time i waitressed and Rich worked 3rd shift so during the day I took them up to my parents,they got to see my mom and my grandmother daily..my grandmother passed when Tracy was 3 and I got a full time job.. my girlfriend was doing inhome daycare and Dan was in school so it worked out.
Both Tracy and Kyle are very very thankful I am watching him.and it is only for a 1/2 day so she still gets to spend lots of time with him..
Im doing what I can as a grandma to help out. And he loves his grandma..
I'm glad it's working for you.
M in Oz1 -
Challenge picture:
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Good morning all! I have been reading along and enjoying all of the pics! It is Thursday morning and the first time I have NOT had a grandchild on my lap or beside me, since their arrival on Sunday eve. While having them and holding them has been wonderful. I am EXHAUSTED. Round the clock care for small children is NOT for the over 50 set. lol Granted, with my DD and her hubby here, I am not getting up in the middle of the night with the kids; but we have been busy doing and going every day. Today we will be going to a farm called the Critter Barn and letting the kids explore and play with the animals, then we will stop at Post Family Farms and walk the corn maze, take a hayride and pick our pumpkins. It will just be Tim and I with the kids from tomorrow afternoon until late Saturday night, due to my DD and DSIL heading to a friends rehearsal dinner, wedding and reception. My plan for the boys is to just hang at home and do creative things. Crafts, science experiments, maybe bake some cookies, play outside...
Maternity leave and caring for children- I received 6 weeks paid maternity leave for both of my children. I took my six weeks and went back to work. I do think it would be wonderful if parents in the U.S. could receive months to years of paid maternity leave; BUT speaking as a childcare provider, I can tell you, the children who are home with mama for the first year (or more) are no better off, socially and emotionally, than the child who is home with mama for 6 weeks. If anything, the children who attend a childcare setting (a minimum of three days a week) from infancy are usually quite a bit further along in the social-emotional development than those who have had the extended time home with parents/grandparents. We always talk about how those first few months are when children need their parents the most...I would disagree with that. Children KNOW who their parents are and close connections are built en utero and immediately following birth. A caring and nurturing adult can fill an infant/ toddler/preschooler's all around growth needs while parents are working. I think the time that children need their parents to be around, closely supervising, listening, helping with problems and concerns would be adolescence. I think maternity/paternity leave would be well used when the children hit puberty. That is the time when the rift between children and parents develops into a chasm of communication errors, lack of understanding, patience, etc. THIS would be the time parents need to be home more.
Karen- O my, Olivia! And her brother (Why can't I remember his name?) That is such a sweet pic!
Pip- You and Kirby have such big hearts! Taking in the grandpups and providing Yogi with some packmates! Love the new car!
Ope! Here come the grands! Just Joaquin and Miguel this morning. Javi went on a breakfast date with his mama and a friend of hers from school.
Love and hugs to you all. ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)4 -
Another rainy day. Yep, more rain. And there's a good chance it will rain all day tomorrow too. We're well over the long-term average for October's rainfall. In fact, we've been over the long-term average for rainfall 7 months of the past year so far. I don't want super dry weather, but slightly drier might be nice.
My dry stream is wet clay at the moment and it doesn't look like I'll be able to work on it for the foreseeable future.
However, meanwhile, I've got more work done on my office! I was able to move enough stuff out of the office that I could move the file boxes from the dining room into the office. The dining room looks slightly less like an office now.
Tomorrow's plan is to move an under-desk set of drawers from the dining room into the office. And then I'll contemplate rearranging the dining room a bit.
One of the goals is to have room for the Christmas Tree!!
I can't quite remember what we did last year except I think we just shoved the dining room stuff all together so that I couldn't get into any drawers, file boxes, etc.
Sorry, I know this is probably incredibly boring but it's exciting for me because it's something I've had in mind to do for years. But everything else took priority. And doing all this now puts us in a less stressful position if/when we move.
One tip ... even if a job seems too big to tackle, if you spend an hour and organise a little bit, your future self will thank you! I'm finding little pockets of order here and there, and I vaguely recall doing a bit now and then when I had a little time. It's a little less I have to deal with now.
Plus I walked 5 km in 53 minutes on the treadmill.
Machka in Oz7 -
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