WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2023

cityjaneLondon

Last mega breakfast session! I think I'll do porridge again, just not so much as yesterday. I had to throw a lot away. DH makes a big fruit salad. The kids love that. Bea has Weetabix, Max has toast, and Edie has gluten free toasted brioche. DH has muesli.
I really have sympathy for parents with big families, but I will miss them when they are gone. I can always hear their voices echoing around the house.
I am blessed.
Amazingly, the sun is shining.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

LisaInArkansas

Snowflake1968 wrote: »

I had a Fitbit when they first came out and loved it. I developed a sensitivity to the wrist band though. I was concerned about it when I got it because I had a watch strap as a teen that did that to me.
Tracey in Edmonton

Tracey - I'm on either my third or fourth Fitbit, and as soon as I get a new one I learned to go on Amazon and find a replacement band made of leather. Something about Fitbit original wrist bands always makes me blister up, so I replace them for $5 or $6 on Amazon.

You also said to Barbie:

I feel the same as your husband about getting rid of things. I at one point thought of writing down how much money I was throwing out every time I did a clean.

There's a concept called the "sunk cost fallacy" that really ties our attitude toward these kind of things in knots. Basically, if we pay for something or spend our time on something, we feel we must keep it, keep doing it, or keep using it, even if it isn't useful. This applies to all the discussion on how people are paying so much money for storage units, and even the discussions on minimalizing our lives.

As an example... we go out to the movies, and even if we're bored silly at the halfway mark, we spent the money, so we feel we have to finish it. If we buy food, we must eat it all (or give away our grape popsicles to someone we love who WILL eat them), because we spent the money or time to get it or cook it. We will eat more of a restaurant meal that costs more, even if we don't like the dish.

So as you mentioned above, you thought of writing down how much money you were throwing out each time you cleaned out... but that money was spent when you bought each piece originally. The fact that you bought something does not mean you need to keep it when it no longer works for you.

That's why your habit of just making enough food for the two of you is a really good one! It saves you from feeling guilty later because you spent the money and now feel you're throwing money away.

Other things might include pouring repair money into a car because you spent so much money on buying the car, or so much of your time restoring the car, or even because you've spent so much on previous repairs. It even applies to those who stay in relationships because they feel they have an investment in the previous years, and they must keep going with this person because of all the time and effort and emotion they've invested.

It's called a fallacy because it really is a lie--it doesn't matter at all what you paid for something, or how much time you spent in a relationship. That money and that time are gone, unrecoverable, and you never expected to get it back when you bought it or spent the time with someone. If it no longer works for you, give it away, donate it, sell it or trash it.

Please note, it is such a very human thing, this, and I've never met anyone who didn't suffer from the sunk cost fallacy at some point. I am no exception, my first marriage being a case in point.

But humans also have a remedy for it, it's called "cut your losses and go."

Enough pontificating. Up again after two hours of sleep... time to go accomplish something besides waffling on about human foibles.

Love y'all!
Lisa in AR

TerriRichardson112

Happy Sunday, Chicadees.

Reading about the resilience of our ladies always gives me a boost in the mornings.

Kim: 🥰all those quotes which certainly apply to us.

Today we are going to DYD’s for lunch/coffee to meet her new kitten. I’m taking soup and a few other things as it was a last minute arrangement.

I love these alfresco get togethers.

DH and I mostly eat home cooked food. We both have a different set breakfast each morning. We keep a lunch box in the fridge with a variety of sandwich fillings, and we each make our own. Occasionally I make a salad or toasties. It works well for us.

For dinner we have a Sunday roast which gives us meals for 3/4 days. This week we have beef. Thursday is salad, Friday salmon, Saturday is burgers or venison, all with mostly fresh veg. We share the cooking. It works for us. We shop with a tick list that I made which follows the layout of our local large supermarket. Saves time and effort. I print about 12 lists at a time. I keep duck breast, smoked salmon, chicken breasts etc in the freezer for when we fancy a change.

Habits and routines are a great comfort, but they are flexible. They can be and are changed to suit current circumstances.

Up and at’em! 😂

☘️ Terri

cityjaneLondon

Lisa - I'm with you. I long ago learnt the 'sunk cost fallacy' and apply it all the time.That money is spent, gone. I have cancelled holidays that I have spent a huge deposit on, I have no problem now quitting something that is not working for me, throwing things away if they no longer are sparking joy. It's a learning curve, for sure, but it's one of the best lessons you can learn in life. Time and money invested in the past has no value if you are not enjoying it in the present and future. I used to be terrible at it, and, like you, probably held on to a marriage too long, but I am so much better now and try not to look at 'sunk cost' nowdays. It is so freeing!
Just think, what do I want for my life RIGHT NOW?
My DDIL has always been good at this, and I learnt a lot from her. She has encouraged my son to quit jobs that weren't working for him. He is a sticker by inclination.

They have all gone now. I so miss the girls. Their light just shines. Max is wonderful in his own way, but very much in his own world at 12.
Breakfast went well, but they had to dash off because Edie is doing her Parkrun at 9 am. Then they are going on to the other grandparents , but my son is coming back to ours. It was a mad scramble to get everything into the car!
Edie donated her painting to us as a thank you, and wrote lovely words on the back.

Now to wash the porridge pot and start on the laundry!!!

Missing them already!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

cityjaneLondon

She is a bit dyslexic. Bea is a much better speller than her. She is very conscious of it , but we try to encourage her to not worry too much.
But what a sweet sentiment. I did explain what 'cordially' meant.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

cityjaneLondon

Love Heather UK xxxxxx

LisaInArkansas

Woohoo! It's 4 a.m. in Arkansas, and it's RAINING! Thunder boomers are rumbling by pretty much hand-running, and you can smell the rain in the dusty air. Supposed to be a couple hours of rain, some of it quite heavy, moving on at about dawn. Glad I got out in my marathon movement session and mowed the rest of the front yard yesterday. No mowing today...

So pleased. I do love rain, and living in a blast furnace wears on you.

Heather - Time teaches a lot, doesn't it? Human minds are such twisty little things, but we are in charge if we choose to be, in the end. That's when it gets to be fun! Love Edie's message. Some of the smartest people I've known were dyslexic.

Going out under the carport to see if the lightning's in sight yet. Love a good storm!

Love y'all!
Lisa in AR

TerriRichardson112

Heather: It’s so good that dyslexia is known about these days. DH was labelled in primary school as ‘stupid’ because of his. He is highly intelligent, but lacked confidence because of his spelling difficulties. It took him a long time to get over that. At least most teachers these days don’t destroy the confidence of their pupils, and teach them useful strategies to overcome their difficulties. Don’t worry about Edie. Our youngest GS has dyslexia, but it has never held him back. They get all sorts of allowances made to help them shine.

You are such a wonderful granny, and it will come back to you in spades as they grow older. They will always remember the good times with you both.

Lisa: I’m taking on board the sunk cost idea. Also the ‘do I really need this? When tempted to purchase, I often employ the ‘leave it a week and if it’s still there, rethink it’ strategy. My problem is that I love too many of my belongings, especially art pieces. But at least I can avoid adding to them.

Soup is made, dinner veg are prepped. Just hanging with my homies before I start packing the goodies in the car to take to DYD’s house. She only lives 10 minutes drive away. DH will drop me off then go to the train station to pick up the rest of the family. Taking some home produce for DED and GS to take home with them.

🫶☘️ Terri

margaretturk

Lanetteyou will have to let me know if you find the book helpful.

Tracey Thank you for your comment. I think that is wonderful you have that crafting time with your granddaughter. What a wonderful way to build wonderful memories. I think that is why I also enjoy seeing Heather have her painting sessions with her grandchildren. Everyone else who posts grandchildren pictures I can see the love and the building of wonderful memories for you, for them, for us! Thank you!

I think the reason I am enjoying the process of clearing out is that it is helping me to take stock of where I am today. As with Barbie it is helping me to become more mindful. The goal is not to throw everything out or to become a minimalist. My goal is to make our home function better for where we are today. Just like weight management it is an ongoing process.

One of the first tenets discussed in the book is to forgive yourself. Buying something that doesn't suit happens. You learn from it and remember to be more mindful about those things you do purchase or take into your home as a gift or freebie. It is not always easy to let go of things you spent too much time and money on or if it has sentimental value. As I let things go I tell myself it is time someone else can use it . If it is too far gone and needs to be trashed I tell myself it was time and or be more care in what I buy in the future. I like the three day rule. Wait three days to see if you still think it will add value to your home and one thing can go as you add this into your home go for it. Not following that rule is part of how I got into this situation today!

I am also working on when I get a space cleared does not mean I have to fill it. DH still likes to make his piles and I have to lead by example and tolerate some of his piles. Where I did set a limit is he used to pile this on our dining room table. I cleared out a drawer in a small table for him to put his piles and on top of the scanner because it is rarely used now. I told him seeing that table cleared off and kept cleared off inspires me to let go of my stuff. He has been good about selling off some of our big stuff...a motor, two bikes that were no longer used, his saxaphone, our son's car.

LisaInArkansas

Terri - There's an interesting corollary to the sunk cost thing, and that's what something is actually worth. I went to hundreds of garage sales in my misspent youth, and I have no issues with asking someone if they would take less for an item. The seller almost always says, "No, it's worth more than that!" Well yeah, not so much. They're still too invested in it... I won't hold garage sales any more, and seldom go to them now, either. I'm looking to unload stuff, not go pay for someone else's stuff and bring it home! 🤨

Enjoy the family time!
Lisa in AR

Joy1580vb

Good morning, ladies.

Reading a little chitchat about food and thought I would share. Had an absolutely delicious simple supper last night consisting of a beef patty I made from Costco lean ground beef, fresh garden potato with a bit of butter, garden carrots and peas, garden cucumber and garden onion that I fried. Was so good tasty. Love the fresh veggies from my garden and so worth the work I put in. Have cut back quite a bit in the size of my garden so it is more manageable for me now and not so much of a chore.

Finally saw the female hummingbird at the feeder. Will probably be seeing a little one too pretty soon. Was worried that we only had one male.

Joy

SophieRosieMom

Good morning ladies!

Thanks to all of you who shared your supper ideas. It really helped me with filling out my grocery list.

RVRita - and thanks too for the wheat belly reference. I do eat wheat products - mostly Ezekial bread which is many sprouted grains. I find that if I cut off wheat products consumption after lunch, I do a lot better and don't even miss bread in a sandwich or a roll for supper. I'll be curious to see how my brother does with keeping his weight off if/when he stops the carnivore diet.

Heather - glad you weathered the family sleepover, sounds like everyone had a great time. I'm impressed by Edie's handwriting, by the way. She's how old? Beautiful legible combo of cursive and printing. The art is wonderful, as always.

Lisa - thanks for the "sunk cost fallacy" - I looked it up, and it also can apply to relationships. Why keep up a friendship if it's one-sided, for example. I need to review my Christmas card list though I've really chiseled it down over the years. And I've taken to putting items I think I need on the Amazon "shopping list" instead of in the cart. Funny how after a week, I review that list and most of what I added I don't want or need anymore.

The Surprising Power of Your Social Life I've subscribed to ZOE channel on YouTube, Tim Spector is on it quite often and they discuss other topics pertaining to health. I watched an interesting one yesterday - The Surprising Power of Your Social Life. and the guest speaker, Professor Rose Anne Kenney - and she discussed findings from studies in Ireland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3daNtEnO_s&t=2373s

Kenney has published a book - I was hoping the library had it (they don't) and I'm not willing to spend$17 for another book right now. I might be able to find other sources that discuss Kenney's findings. For free.

I know I've been fairly isolated and up to now, I've preferred it that way - if I need company, all I have to do is walk across the street. And there are you ladies in this group who provide some online social contact.

But there's a benefit to hanging around people of various ages too, and volunteering is one way to accomplish this. It keeps us young: we are as young as we think we are I'm going to put feelers out for some volunteer opportunities a few hours per week. (Social activities like attending activities at the senior centers and senior fitness groups at the gym don't appeal to me right now, but they might in the future.) I'm going to start out by contacting some of the county departments to see if they have opportunities. Before Covid, I actually got going in that direction but then social interaction was discouraged, plus I needed to stay home with DH anyhow.

I don't think I'm ready to start anything right now, but in a couple months, when the days are shorter and mostly overcast and rainy will be a good time.

Got my walk in early this morning, picked blueberries. We had a little measurable rain yesterday, it's humid this morning. Looks like good possibility of HOT weather starting this coming Friday then hanging around for the following week, so will tend to outside chores this week while it's still on the cool side.

OK ladies, I better scoot. Make it a great day!

Lanette
SW WA State

pipcd34

267267

barbiecat

Jake was once called a "serial enthusiast" by a close friend. He was mildly offended by the comment but had to admit that it fit him. He took a fly tying class to go fly fishing, bought over $300.00 in materials and then figured out that he didn't have the fine motor skills necessary for tying flies and didn't have either the friends or the equipment to actually go fishing so he gave all the stuff to a friend in Montana then felt guilty about spending all that money on stuff he never used. He has bought piles of books he never read, videos he never watched, music CDs he never listened to, multiples of clothing in styles he didn't like after a few wearings, cooking tools and ingredients for things he decided he didn't want to make. He's not thinking so much of the sunk cost as he is the guilt or embarrassment of having spent so much money without thinking about the need.

Just like keeping a log of the food I'm eating keeps me mindful of what I eat, keep a log of the money I spend keeps me mindful of where my money is going. I just listened to a podcast discussion between two women one of whom admitted that she likes black cardigan sweaters and buys one whenever she sees one in the store. The other does the same with black hoodies. My father's mantra about money was "The way to save money, is to not spend it". I try to use that whenever possible.

We have cleared out the big stuff. What I'm dealing with is paper that has be looked at and dealt with one piece at a time. Each piece has a minor or major emotional component that accompanies the final act of discarding it. There are a few that I will probably scan before discarding.

Heather, your hosting of your son's family reminds me of one of the finest qualities of my mother who wanted her guests to feel like they were in a high quality hotel when they stayed with her with carefully prepared rooms and menu items prepared to their individual needs. You have added meaningful activities to the mix.

Barbie in NW WA

ginnytez

Lanette-many times schools are looking for people to volunteer as tutors. We have several youth programs in our area that use volunteers-you don't usually need skill-just a willingness to spend time. Also libraries. Hospitals sometimes need people to sit with babies whose parents can't bye there.
Lisa-I found your pontificating to be right on point-my thinking is moving that direction and some of my actions!

Event yesterday was very successful. I did not get overheated (paid attention to hydration and think perhaps medication change helped. Walked three miles before event. At the end of the day I ad 73 exercise minutes, 20,052 steps and 8.29 miles. Feet a bit tired today but otherwise fine.

Also finally got the Malware problem sorted out-no thanks to the company.

I had told them to cancel the more expansive program and keep the basic premium (mainly so I have time to research alternative. They sent email it was reinstated. Could not get it to work. Sent messages asking if someone could call me directly (I figured there was something dumb I was doing but couldn't figure it out. Last night I reviewed everything-the program hadn't downloaded to my new Mac-it had the old one registered. I think it would have taken one of their techs about 2 minutes to problem solve and took me over a week. So for now it works but I am researching replacement.

Chest CT results posted today. All reads stable (best I can hope for!). Doctor should call about them and tell me when he wants new ones-possible in 6 months-hoping for 1 year if blood work stays stable.

Messy house needs attention-that's what happens when I am running I 50 different directions!

Take care all,

Ginny in Ohio

myvt9v4crh

I saw Mrs Hummingbird at my feeder here in Illinois. I am delighted. I have a happy heart for seeing her. She’s been absent for a long while, and hope to see her again soon. 💖

Katla in Illinois

1948CWB

🌺🌻🌼🌷

kymarai

kevrit

2023- Altruistic August

Word of the year: appreciate. Today I appreciate friends.

Meditation: daily. 1/31 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%)

Walking and exercising slowed down because of record heat this month.

1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 3/8–(100%,100%,0%,0%,0%,0%,0%)
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 5418,(7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 —(100%,100%,100%,100%,100%, 100%.100%)
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 162/208—(100%,100%,100%,50%, 83%, 100%, 100%)should be 154 by September 1)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)66/94 (100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6 (100%,100%,100%,0%,100%,100%,0%)
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 3/15 (100%,88%,100%,100%,100%,93%,100%)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 29/12 (100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 8/12—(100%.100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,(100%,100%,100%,100%)

January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met——86.36%
May met——-89%
June met—-99%
July met — met 81%
August met
September met
October met —
November met—
December met—


1. Set an intention to be kind to others (and yourself) this month. I plan to be kind to people I meet and to myself. Not just this month but all the time. It may not be every time, but I will try.
2. Send an uplifting message to someone you can’t be with. I will text my best friend who lives in Michigan, and my friend that lives in NY. Did this
3. Be kind and supportive to everyone you interact with. I did this!

4. Ask someone how they feel and really listen to their reply. I plan to try to remember to do this. Done!
5. Spend time wishing for other people to be happy and well. Will meditate and do this through a loving-kindness meditation.
6. Smile and be friendly to the people you see today. Will do!

7. Give time to help a project or cause you care about.
8. Make some tasty food for someone who will appreciate it.
9. Thank someone you’re grateful to and tell them why.
10. Chick in with someone who may be lonely or feeling anxious.
11. Share an encouraging news story to inspire others.
12. Contact a friend to let them know you’re thinking of them.
13. No plans day! Be kind to yourself so you can be kind to others too.
14. Take an actions to be kind to nature and care for our planet.
15. If someone annoys you, be kind. Imagine how they may be feeling.
16. Make a thoughtful gift as a surprise for someone.
17. Be kind online. Share positive and supportive comments.
18. Today, do something to make life easier for someone else.
19. Be thankful for your food and the people who make it possible.
20. Look for the good in everyone you meet today.
21. Donate unused items, clothes, or food to help a local charity.
22. Give people the gift of your full attention.
23. Share an article, book, or podcast you find helpful.
24. Forgive someone who hurt you in the past.
25. Give your time, energy, or attention to someone in need.
26. Find a way to ‘pay it forward’ or support a good cause.
27. Notice when someone is down and try to brighten his day. (My DH’s birthday. He always gets depressed on this day. Worse this year as he turns 70 today).
28. Have a friendly chat with someone you don’t know very well.
29. Do something kind to help in your local community.
30. Give away something to those who don’t have as much as you.
31. Share Action for Happiness with other people today.

RVRita in Roswell, NM

Whidislander

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

She is a bit dyslexic. Bea is a much better speller than her. She is very conscious of it , but we try to encourage her to not worry too much.
But what a sweet sentiment. I did explain what 'cordially' meant.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

Tell her she makes spectacular y's💖👍
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa