Would you date someone overweight?

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Replies

  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I did, and the sex was great but going out was not so good

    Jealous. I had the opposite experience, which ultimately ended both of my long term relationships. I can go all night, so overweight or not thats something I need in a man.

    All night? Who has the time?

    If someone doesn't have the time to do that at least once and awhile I won't be happy haha.

    I have a job. I need at least some sleep.

    I do too? Well I guess we won't be dating anytime soon. Also no need to talk down :). Everyone has different likes.

    I wasn't talking down to you. :huh:

    Your need to sleep is extremely condescending and it needs to be worked on!!

    My need to sleep is a c-block
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I would, but there is more that I want to say.

    First, to all those saying that they need to be physically attracted to a guy to even get to know them....have you even went to college, joined a group, or maybe even have friends? Physical attraction to the point that you are drawn into wanted to f**k a guy is generally only a bar thing. There are other ways to meet people and get to know them. I know I have found myself physically attracted to someone after getting to know them.



    Oh. I've been doing this whole attraction thing all wrong then; I met my husband through friends and I knew the minute I saw him what exactly I wanted to do to him. (I don't think we've ever even been to a bar together) By contrast I've met plenty of perfectly nice men who I can hang out with, spend time with, and be friends with...but none of them were ever going to be dating material, because they weren't attractive (to me).

    I'm interested in this magical attractiveness you speak of. Do you just get so used to seeing them that the way they look ceases to register or what? Genuine question.



    Edit: I don't date short guys either.


    You've never gotten to know someone and find them more attractive because of who they are? You're no more attracted to your husband now than when you met him? Walrus to mermaid does happen, and to an extent I find in every relationship it happens. The more knowledge, respect, experiences, commonalities, conversations ect. that you have with someone the more desirable they are.

    More attracted to my husband? No. I like him more than when I met him, but he's not more physically attractive, no. My desire for him isn't increased because he's awesome, though it certainly makes us great friends as well, which is why we didn't just bang and forget about each other.

    I actually dated a man who didn't strike my fancy because we were friends and I wanted to like him (and everyone said we were a natural fit.) But in the end I had to break it off because he didn't do anything for me and there was no reason to settle just because he was a cool dude. I'd even go so far as to say I loved him but I wasn't going to settle for love and no sexual attraction when the possibility of love and attraction existed.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.
    Sweet I have a chance as well.:love:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.

    I have seen him, which is why I made that comment. :tongue:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:

    I can accept when girls don't like bald men.
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:

    I can accept when girls don't like bald men.
    Ditto!

    Hell I can accept if people just aren't attracted to people full stop. Can't force attraction.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:

    I can accept when girls don't like bald men.
    Ditto!

    Hell I can accept if people just aren't attracted to people full stop. Can't force attraction.

    Yup, doesn't make them a bad person to have preferences.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.

    I have seen him, which is why I made that comment. :tongue:

    Oh good. I was kind of alarmed, lol.

    I do date bald dudes. My first boyfriend was bald, but he had all the other stuff going for him so I let it slide.
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:

    I can accept when girls don't like bald men.
    Ditto!

    Hell I can accept if people just aren't attracted to people full stop. Can't force attraction.

    Yup, doesn't make them a bad person to have preferences.
    Probably the most sensible thing said on this whole thread!:drinker:
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.

    I have seen him, which is why I made that comment. :tongue:

    Oh good. I was kind of alarmed, lol.

    I do date bald dudes. My first boyfriend was bald, but he had all the other stuff going for him so I let it slide.
    That's what she said :wink:
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.

    I have seen him, which is why I made that comment. :tongue:

    Oh good. I was kind of alarmed, lol.

    I do date bald dudes. My first boyfriend was bald, but he had all the other stuff going for him so I let it slide.
    That's what she said :wink:

    What you did there, I see it. :laugh:
  • k_sinc
    k_sinc Posts: 39
    Carrying a few extra kilos but leads a realtively healthy lifestyle - Yes
    Morbidly obese and sits on the sofa eating fast food - No, Because that would not work with my lifestyle

    My boyfriend and I are both probably a couple of kgs heavier than we would like to be but we eat well, we spend our weekends exploring and getting out and about rather than staying in, he has his gym routine and I have mine, and our lifestyles work well together which I am very thankful for... I've had relationships in the past where we had opposite ideas of a healthy lifestyle and we argued so much.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    No.... I lead a active lifestyle and we probably wouldn't have anything in common

    Interesting assumption to make...totally within your right of course....just very close minded and often untrue...but to each their own

    For me absolutely, I am much more concerned about emotional and intellectual connection as well as their kindness and respect for others than their weight

    I actually get what he is saying, for example if he is into things like mountain biking, rock climbing ect it would be very hard for someone who is 40 50 lb over weight to keep up and if being very active like that is a good part of his life then it would be hard and maybe even a bit frustrating for both involved. For example most of my friends will not go even so much as walking with me because they have a hard time ( cannot) keep up with me and I can find it frustrating to go at their pace when I am in much better shape and want to walk or hike a lot faster so that I am getting a good burn, so I cannot imagine what it would be like if you have a partner that you want to be with and enjoy harder physical activities with but they have a hard time being as active as you because of being out of shape. Another thing I have noticed just with friendships over the years is that not only is their fitness levels different from mine but so is their eating, if you are very fit and healthy and eat really healthy then it may be hard to be with someone who is not the same. I don't think it was judgmental or narrow minded on his part he just wants someone who can keep up all the time and not be to tired or sore the next day to go do it again.
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    My conclusion was that it is fine to have preferences.
  • ReginaldBrontosaurus
    ReginaldBrontosaurus Posts: 372 Member
    Yeah I date women that I'm attracted to physically and mentally. Those women come in about 500 different styles/types. Who cares.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    whenever chicks start saying they care about "personality" and "conversation' it just makes me LOL because it is the biggest load of BS ever….

    Are you saying that looks matter to women? Never!

    Everyone on this site who are here to lose weight and get fit are doing it solely for medical reasons, right? Right?

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some women find Johnny Depp hot, but others might find Brad Pitt hot. Personally, I find pre-40 years old Marilyn Manson to be irresistible.


    Randy Orton and The Rock... yum yum

    and as far as weight loss goes, I do not have a lot to lose but it is for both medical and I want to look good naked lol. We have obesity issues in my family and their medical problems ( which killed them) scare the **** out of me.
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.

    If he was really nice he would realize you don't like him and move on.
  • Sarahs2576
    Sarahs2576 Posts: 418 Member
    Oh there is no question I would. I more about who the person is rather than what. Now I get that activity levels may be different between us, but I do my work for me and my health so it's all good. Maybe I'd motivate her maybe I wouldn't but it wouldn't change how I felt.

    Agreed!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.

    If he was really nice he would realize you don't like him and move on.

    Reality would dictate that he pines over you and wonders why you cant like him despite his appearance.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.

    If he was really nice he would realize you don't like him and move on.

    Reality would dictate that he pines over you and wonders why you can like him despite his appearance.

    Well that's silly. There are lots of men who are considered attractive that do nothing for me (Brad Pitt for example.). I'm not saying men who I don't find attractive are wholly unattractive or anything Just not my cup of tea.
  • sarahmichel101
    sarahmichel101 Posts: 158 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.

    Not what I said at all. Just said I would prefer not to be close minded. My fiance is overweight, and I am very attracted to him. But unlike your marriage, the more we grow together the more I want to have him!
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.

    Not what I said at all. Just said I would prefer not to be close minded. My fiance is overweight, and I am very attracted to him. But unlike your marriage, the more we grow together the more I want to have him!

    You don't think that's kinda what you said (while also dismissing those who have that 'I want to bang this person' feeling as 'something that only happens in bars')? Because even if that's not what you meant, it certainly fit into the prevailing theme I'm seeing. If the person is nice and funny and treats you well you should just look past not finding them sexually attractive and learn to want to be with them. Also fit people are mean and won't treat you well, which is why you should stick with the nice person no matter what your actual preferences are.

    Not all of us are interested in sticking with someone in hopes they grow on us. I've always preferred my dudes to be what I like ahead of time, not hope they'll eventually become what I like or that my tastes change to include them. If that's how you roll, fine, but that ain't me

    My husband for example likes his women with dark skin, tiny wastes, big butts, and bad attitudes. If I hadn't been that right off the bat he wouldn't have pursued me, and that's life. There have been many a man who didn't like my look and while maybe we would have worked out, personally I'm not interested in someone who may, over time, look at me and think "Hey, she's kinda cute, I guess. ...Well, we get along at least, so maybe those things I don't normally like in a woman aren't so bad after all." I want someone who looks at me first the first time and thinks 'damn, look at her.' And that's what I got.
  • sarahmichel101
    sarahmichel101 Posts: 158 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.

    Not what I said at all. Just said I would prefer not to be close minded. My fiance is overweight, and I am very attracted to him. But unlike your marriage, the more we grow together the more I want to have him!

    You don't think that's kinda what you said (while also dismissing those who have that 'I want to bang this person' feeling as 'something that only happens in bars')?

    Not all of us are interested in sticking with someone in hopes they grow on us. I've always preferred my dudes to be what I like ahead of time, not hope they'll eventually become what I like or that my tastes change to include them.

    Again, not what I said or meant. I said someone you know, and grow attracted to. Not pity date and find out you love them. I am ONLY saying I am open (Well, not anymore) to whoever enters my life. Youre changing what I'm saying so you can argue against it. I never said date someone until you want to screw them, nor did I say settle in the hopes you'll change. You do what you want (which is pointless to do as youre married) and I will continue to be open minded (again, not single so not an issue for me).
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    So the moral of this thread is that is is wrong to have standards?

    But as long as he's nice you'll learn to be attracted to him and then until then just lie back and think of England.

    Not what I said at all. Just said I would prefer not to be close minded. My fiance is overweight, and I am very attracted to him. But unlike your marriage, the more we grow together the more I want to have him!

    You don't think that's kinda what you said (while also dismissing those who have that 'I want to bang this person' feeling as 'something that only happens in bars')?

    Not all of us are interested in sticking with someone in hopes they grow on us. I've always preferred my dudes to be what I like ahead of time, not hope they'll eventually become what I like or that my tastes change to include them.

    Again, not what I said or meant. I said someone you know, and grow attracted to. Not pity date and find out you love them. I am ONLY saying I am open (Well, not anymore) to whoever enters my life. Youre changing what I'm saying so you can argue against it. I never said date someone until you want to screw them, nor did I say settle in the hopes you'll change. You do what you want (which is pointless to do as youre married) and I will continue to be open minded (again, not single so not an issue for me).

    Actually what you did was cast judgement on those who need to be attracted to get to know someone (implying that was something that only happens in bars) and then added that you've grown to be attracted to people, as if that's something that all people should consider. I disagree, obviously, which is why I'm arguing. Attraction first and foremost isn't some sleazy bar thing and not being interested in people who don't interest you sexually isn't not being open minded, it's just basic human attraction.

    Most people can't make themselves be attracted to what they are not and most people are fine with that, but when it comes to weight you're suddenly judgmental and close minded if your preference doesn't include overweight people.
  • bel8711
    bel8711 Posts: 4 Member
    Absolutely. Met my boyfriend and we both hit the comfortable phase. We both put on a few extra pounds and we've both committed to taking those extra pounds (plus some) off. I've lost 13 pounds. He's lost 10. It's a deeper feeling than what is on the outside. If that person makes you smile and you love them for who they are, inside and out, why does it matter? I fell in love with his mind, smile, and his sense of humor, not the fact that he has a little bit of added weight. Heck, so do I. And guess what, that extra added weight keeps me me warm at night when he's snuggled up next time.

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