Unsupportive....wwyd?

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  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/onegonzogarbanzo/view/you-can-leave-406144

    I feel totally weird for pimping this, but here it is. Please read it, OP.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    If my husband said that to me I would leave him...seriously!!!! That is verbal/emotional abuse right there!!!!!! Some day he will talk to your kids that way, do you want your kids to ever go through that? I definitely wouldn't. Don't ever think you have to stay with him because you have kids with him. Praying for you in whatever you decide.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
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    Not sure I'd leave...yet...but I'd sure let him know that if you did cheat it would be because he's pushed you to it with his comments and the fact that he's not being very supportive. Remind him if he loves you then he has the strangest way of showing it. Ask him to support you on life's journey or what ever happens happens.
  • VanessaHeartsMasr
    VanessaHeartsMasr Posts: 727
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    I'll Bet ya 5 bucks he is cheating on you and is afraid you will do the same.
    He wants to keep you fat and insecure so he can continue.

    Dump the idiot right now.
    I agree. I had an ex treat me like this. Sure enough, he was cheating.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Oh yuck :-(


    I'm just afraid that I won't find anyone else... I don't feel attractive, at all.



    He is always home or at work.. Never more than 30 mins late... :-(


    The thought hurts so bad..


    I was with a verbally/emotionally abusive guy for far too long. And I was chunky and felt like a gross slob when the relationship ended. He cheated on me if you're wondering


    It took me less than a year to find a much much better guy. He never talks badly to me. He supports me in my health, fitness,education and all my other goals. He was there for me when my Dad died. He doesn't get jealous or pissy that my very close family and bus school/work schedule consumes a lot of my time.

    In those ten months I was single I lost a good amount of that chunkiness. Since dating this new guy I have lost more and put on muscle.

    I am happier,healthier, slimmer, fitter and most important stronger and more confident.

    and NONE of it would have happened if I didn't get out.

    You need to give yourself a chance. You deserve it.
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    He is majorly insecure, counseling but don't let him derail you. Making yourself healthier will help your kids to be healthy too.
  • Jenloma
    Jenloma Posts: 77 Member
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    Emotional abuse and you need to leave!
  • JAGgirl47
    JAGgirl47 Posts: 70 Member
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    He sounds jealous and he's emotionally abusive. You are in danger...sounds like time for some counseling or get the heck out of there.
  • DestroyTheOpposition
    DestroyTheOpposition Posts: 444 Member
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    Sounds to me like he has self esteem issues and thinks verbal abuse is normal.
  • Soltari675
    Soltari675 Posts: 21 Member
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    It's a mind game. If he keeps you heavy, and keeps you thinking you are nothing without him, you'll always stay with him. It's control because he is afraid you will realize you have more option. You need to leave him.
  • tigerblood78
    tigerblood78 Posts: 417 Member
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    I just creeped your profile...........your husband is wrong.
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
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    That is how my ex husband was and he would constantly put me down and was very verbally abusive towards me. Now that we are divorced, I can see how much happier I am not constantly having to apologize for every little thing I do. I can just be ME!!! We had a daughter together, but you should never feel like you have to stay in a bad relationship just because you have children. They will be much better off not seeing all the drama. I do not want my daughter to think it is okay for men to treat a woman that way. This is why I am setting a good example for her about how strong her mommy can be!!


    this...i never knew the eggshells i was walking on until we split. I am healthier mentally and physically
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
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    He may be doing this out of his insecurity. Regardless, it's abuse. Can you see a counselor either alone or as a couple? I can see that it's much harder to leave because of the kids, but really you need to get yourself and the kids out of there if he can't or won't change his behaviour.
  • hockra
    hockra Posts: 43 Member
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    Being alone, with God's help, is better than being with someone who brings you down....better for the kids too! The decision to make your life better, including taking care of yourself, despite what others say or think, is up to you. If you think it's bad now, just imagine the next day, next year, next 10 years. Do you want to stay there? Choice is yours. Find a good support network, seek a women's center....they can help if you really want it. I am glad you reached out on the blog...shows you care enough about yourself and your life to want to change....that's a great start!
  • Maria_T007
    Maria_T007 Posts: 107
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    We aren't married.. Engaged.




    And I think I might have to go find myself a wife :-P

    Is definitely be thinking twice before you say I do! If he can treat you this bad now its only going to get worse when you have his last name!
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    well i hate to say it, but I've seen it too many times with girl friends etc... most of the time when a guy accuses you of cheating and is flying off the handle about stupid stuff it's because he is the one cheating.

    That being said, even if he isn't cheating, u shouldn't be with anyone who would talk to you like that. Idc if you've been together 50 years! I'd drop that loser faster than God gets the news. And you probably know everyone is going to say that and want to hear it or your wouldn't have asked. Obviously you have considered it. Kids deserve to live in a happy home. Do you want your daughters to learn to be treated by men the way you are allowing yourself to be treated? Do you want your sons to grow up learning to treat their wives or girlfriends like that?

    People will only treat you as well as you demand to be treated. If you are ok with being a doormat people will use you like one. And if you can't love yourself enough to demand respect, how can u expect him to? He's a jack *kitten*. Get rid of him.
  • swfloridagal
    swfloridagal Posts: 50
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    I was under the impression that our spouse is supposed to be supportive and loving and kind. If I had a spouse who spoke to me that way then I would tell him how it makes me feel and ask him to stop. If he doesn't stop I would tell him again and demand that he come to counseling with me to hear me say it again in front of a trained counselor. If he refuses, I would tell him that I will no longer accept that abusive, unsupportive, demeaning, negative comments from him and leave him. I deserve to be treated with respect at all times and if I'm accepting that behavior from anybody - especially my spouse - then I would have to look at myself and ask myself why. What is it about ME that thinks its okay to have somebody treat me that way? Especially when I asked them to stop?

    I was in your shoes and got myself some counseling and got the self esteem to leave. I found a loving man who is my best friend and who would NEVER talk to me that way. Check out some books written by Beverly Engle. I think you might get a lot out of reading them. Pray for courage to change if he doesn't!
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
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    I think you know the answer to this question...
    You are just looking for support in that answer. If that is what you need... then I am giving it to you!
    He's an *kitten*... will always be that way. You can make excuses now for him... and divorce later... or you can divorce him how, and save yourself the heartache of being with such an *kitten* for so long.
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    id let him cook his own dinner from now on...

    among other things that he'll be doing for himself
  • MJEekhoff
    MJEekhoff Posts: 58
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    Five years together or not, dump his *kitten*. You deserve better.

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