Unsupportive....wwyd?
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I just creeped your profile...........your husband is wrong.0
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That is how my ex husband was and he would constantly put me down and was very verbally abusive towards me. Now that we are divorced, I can see how much happier I am not constantly having to apologize for every little thing I do. I can just be ME!!! We had a daughter together, but you should never feel like you have to stay in a bad relationship just because you have children. They will be much better off not seeing all the drama. I do not want my daughter to think it is okay for men to treat a woman that way. This is why I am setting a good example for her about how strong her mommy can be!!
this...i never knew the eggshells i was walking on until we split. I am healthier mentally and physically0 -
He may be doing this out of his insecurity. Regardless, it's abuse. Can you see a counselor either alone or as a couple? I can see that it's much harder to leave because of the kids, but really you need to get yourself and the kids out of there if he can't or won't change his behaviour.0
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Being alone, with God's help, is better than being with someone who brings you down....better for the kids too! The decision to make your life better, including taking care of yourself, despite what others say or think, is up to you. If you think it's bad now, just imagine the next day, next year, next 10 years. Do you want to stay there? Choice is yours. Find a good support network, seek a women's center....they can help if you really want it. I am glad you reached out on the blog...shows you care enough about yourself and your life to want to change....that's a great start!0
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We aren't married.. Engaged.
And I think I might have to go find myself a wife :-P
Is definitely be thinking twice before you say I do! If he can treat you this bad now its only going to get worse when you have his last name!0 -
well i hate to say it, but I've seen it too many times with girl friends etc... most of the time when a guy accuses you of cheating and is flying off the handle about stupid stuff it's because he is the one cheating.
That being said, even if he isn't cheating, u shouldn't be with anyone who would talk to you like that. Idc if you've been together 50 years! I'd drop that loser faster than God gets the news. And you probably know everyone is going to say that and want to hear it or your wouldn't have asked. Obviously you have considered it. Kids deserve to live in a happy home. Do you want your daughters to learn to be treated by men the way you are allowing yourself to be treated? Do you want your sons to grow up learning to treat their wives or girlfriends like that?
People will only treat you as well as you demand to be treated. If you are ok with being a doormat people will use you like one. And if you can't love yourself enough to demand respect, how can u expect him to? He's a jack *kitten*. Get rid of him.0 -
I was under the impression that our spouse is supposed to be supportive and loving and kind. If I had a spouse who spoke to me that way then I would tell him how it makes me feel and ask him to stop. If he doesn't stop I would tell him again and demand that he come to counseling with me to hear me say it again in front of a trained counselor. If he refuses, I would tell him that I will no longer accept that abusive, unsupportive, demeaning, negative comments from him and leave him. I deserve to be treated with respect at all times and if I'm accepting that behavior from anybody - especially my spouse - then I would have to look at myself and ask myself why. What is it about ME that thinks its okay to have somebody treat me that way? Especially when I asked them to stop?
I was in your shoes and got myself some counseling and got the self esteem to leave. I found a loving man who is my best friend and who would NEVER talk to me that way. Check out some books written by Beverly Engle. I think you might get a lot out of reading them. Pray for courage to change if he doesn't!0 -
I think you know the answer to this question...
You are just looking for support in that answer. If that is what you need... then I am giving it to you!
He's an *kitten*... will always be that way. You can make excuses now for him... and divorce later... or you can divorce him how, and save yourself the heartache of being with such an *kitten* for so long.0 -
id let him cook his own dinner from now on...
among other things that he'll be doing for himself0 -
Five years together or not, dump his *kitten*. You deserve better.0
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You are adorable! There are men that would eat you up in a second. Allow him the chance for therapy and then make your choice. If he refuses, he's already made hsi choice. I'm so sorry...0
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If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.
Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.
Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?
That is not unsupportive, that is ABUSIVE.
This is not a recommendation because I do not know the details, etc... but if you were me or one of my daughters I would tell you to require counseling and/or LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE. NO man should EVER treat his wife like that. I would rather be alone telling myself that I am beautiful than have anyone tell me I'm ugly- let alone the man who was supposed to love me for the rest of my life. I am soo sorry you are going through this but lady, you are in an abusive relationship. If he won't go to counseling with you, then get it for yourself.
I've been there in my own version of that kind of hell, and leaving was the most difficult thing I had ever done. It turns out, it was also the best thing I could have done for myself and my children (what we expose our children to becomes their normal, and what they will seek for themselves when they are grown).
1. DONT BELIEVE HIM. You are capable, strong, and doing good for yourself and your family. I wish you all the best.0 -
OMG... i have been there and it is not worth it. No person should ever be spoken to that way. I would have been gone so fast that must dust would've already settled0
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If u think u can't leave him now...prepare for the day..gradually take a few essentials for you and kids to a trusted friends house, start put a small amount of money away week to week where he can't find it...here and there pack items u think he won't miss and store them ready - extra sheets, towels, photos n treasures. A survival kit at the ready. Wrote a diary of his behavior. This is only if u think the consequences of leaving him are frightening n quite honestly he sounds a little scary.0
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Well, right off the bat he'd have some frozen chicken shoved up his a@@!If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.
Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.
Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?0 -
tell him it is now his job to cook the meals0
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We aren't married.. Engaged.
And I think I might have to go find myself a wife :-P
No brainer run fast. You will find someone else. You deserve better. I don't know you but, I will pray for strength and safety. Get your self-esteem and leave.0 -
Put his belongings in the yard and have a locksmith come over before he gets home. I did that in my 20's to someone. I heard a few years ago he still hates me. lol0
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Be honest on this one, do you love him so much that you can't stand the thought of being without him? Is that why you permit that kind of behavior in a family? Its almost 2012 young lady, better change things real quick, they December 2012 is the "end of days" (just joking, I hope not). If you don't find someone else as soon as you think you need to, what's wrong with being with YOU for a while until you meet someone who isn't abusive and who respects you and respects your children? Staying in abusive relationships is so 1920s to 1980s. Get with the time and be your own woman. Experience speaks here, wasted no time getting out.0
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I hate to say it but to me if you marry this guy things might get worse. Don't do it. Do yall live together?0
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DIVORCE, you don't need to be with someone like that, no matter how long u've been together and it isnt a healthy environment for kids to grow up in anyway. A person cannot say those things to a person that they are supposed to love and care about
Ii agree........................
Mine isn't supportive either, but NOBODY should talk to their spouse like that, those are not words from somebody that truly loves you.0 -
I'm not going through 7 pages of comments, but you say you're afraid you won't find anyone if you leave? Good gravy, woman! Who cares about the NEXT guy! Cross that bridge when you get to it! Concentrate about what you're going to do NOW. If this is even a hint at how he is with you, you should leave NOW. Right the heck now. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, get your kids, your cat, the Gerbil and run.0
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He's mentally abusive. Leave him alone. He's insecure about you losing weight because he know you will feel better about yourself and he will no longer have mental control over your new found confidence. **** him0
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yes, what postrockandca said0
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You're still in your 20s move on PLEASE!!0
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yes, what christiedf said0
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You couldn't have said it better....I think that's what he is doing.. If he's not then he is just a horrible person0
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LMBO!!!! I am from Mississippi too! Girl you a mess.hahahahhahaha0
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If it were me?
I would leave his *kitten* because both me and my kids deserve better, and they shouldn't have to grow up seeing that.
But that is just what I would do. No one deserves that treatment, especially from their other half!!0 -
Keep your eye on the prize. Continue with your plans to get fit and improve your life.
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