Women - Farting, Pooping, and more in front of men...

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  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
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    OMG... really, LOL! Sorry guys, if you can't handle the idea that women fart, poop or worse, then how in the hell do you expect to live with someone? Or worse, enjoy some of life's finer things - LOL - like children (diapers), or expect a women to perform certain, ahum, fun for you acts?

    LOL - Everybody does it, the only thing I can say - me & my hubby try not to gas each other. I laugh every time he goes and pokes his rear into a doorway (mind you just his bum) then runs back fanning himself. ROTFLMAO!
  • Presleyforpresident
    Presleyforpresident Posts: 172
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    i farted and blamed it on his dog and he apologized for his dog's sensitive digestion and put him outside LMFAO
    that was in the first week we were dating and i wasn't comfortable enough to really let one go, you know?

    but we're taking a break so i guess he'll never know the full extent of what i can unleash xx
  • Kearsed
    Kearsed Posts: 70 Member
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    **** happens
  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
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    :drinker: :drinker: Hanging a New Air Purifier on the Thread!!
  • CyeRyn
    CyeRyn Posts: 389 Member
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    All this poop/fart talk got things "moving." Be right back. In the meantime, read this....HILARIOUS!!!

    http://hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny/

    OMG I almost died reading this! It's so hilarious.
  • misspastry
    misspastry Posts: 109 Member
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    I broke the fart barrier with my last bf. Well actually I let one rip when he was out of the room and accidentally dutch ovened the dude when he crawled back in. After that he thought it was perfectly fine to fart in front of me -.-


    That's awesome!
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
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    I have to agree 100% with the original person who started this post! I do not do these thing in front of my husband either and we have been in a relationship for close to 17 years. In all fairness though there are a few factors I consider; (1) I don't find these things sexy and I want to continue to have the ravishing sex life that we still have after all these years. (2) My husband doesn't do these things in front of me. In fact a few times in the last few years he has woken up out of a dead sleep with gas and apologized because it is just not in his nature. He is very well manner gentleman (especially for being a SSGT in the Army lol). (3) These bodily functions are just that facts of life that are a necessity and though in some instances they can be funny (the comment earlier about it happening during sex made me puke a bit in mouth mouth with the visual but it was funny) they just aren't my humor. But for those of you who love it keep on dutch oven'in it up! :)
    I 100% agree and luckily I have a similar relationship--we try to keep these things private. It's just not our style or humor.

    But yeah whatever works for everyone else.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    These "discussions" crack me up. Hey...if you want to rip em and burp in your sexual partner's face, go have fun with that! If you keep it private, go have fun with that. But a debate about it??? LMAO! This wasn't a discussion....it was a debate. About f*^king farts and *kitten*.????????? "Oh I have a better relationship because I dutch oven my man.....no *I* do because I am a 'lady' " :noway:

    word :)
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    As long as it is not during certain sex positions!

    hahahah. Worst timing EVER.

    Yeeeeah...I farted in my husband's face while he was...erm...down there...AND THEN HE TOLD MY WHOLE FAMILY ABOUT IT!!!

    Edited to add: Buuuuuut, he did shart himself on our 3rd first date, so I guess the cosmos are balanced, now. :laugh:
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
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    And one more thing...My partner DOES fart in front of me and he thinks it's hilarious. Of course I am at first disgusted by the deathly stench that comes from his a**, but I most of the time I can't help but start to laugh after seeing the look on his face like he's 8 years old again, laughing so hard he's in tears. So whatever, I am dating a wonderful man who has a childish side but still treats me better than I could ever wish for. I find that personally, acting like a lady makes me more attractive and beautiful, regardless of what he thinks. I'm positive he wouldn't give two craps if I farted in front of him, but to me, it's important to remain somewhat ladylike...for the most part :blushing:

    THIS is exactly my relationship and how I feel about it
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    As long as it is not during certain sex positions!

    hahahah. Worst timing EVER.

    Yeeeeah...I farted in my husband's face while he was...erm...down there...AND THEN HE TOLD MY WHOLE FAMILY ABOUT IT!!!

    OMG, that just made me laugh! My now-ex was doing that, and I started laughing because I was trying to hold one in! That didn't go over too well. :tongue:
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    We kinda turned the burping into a competition (which he has beat me on several occasions :grumble: ), and fart wise, i beat him in that, and usually when I fart, he knows it. :blushing:

    Pooping, we still keep the door closed and we have been together for four years (married for almost one year) and probably will stay that way.

    As I was always told, better out then in. :laugh:
  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
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    My husband and I dont take dumps in front of each other, but we pee, burp and fart in front of each other. He doesnt care, I dont care. I think he is as sexy as the day I met him, and he feels the same about me. I pop his pimples on his back for fizucks sake...WHO ELSE IS GONNA DO IT? If its hurting him, its my job to fix it. I mean...this is the man that when we are 80 years old, I might have to change his diaper. If i cant be completely myself in front of him, then whats the point. We like our style....I dont wanna be scared I offended my husband bc I farted in my sleep. Too stressful.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    As long as it is not during certain sex positions!

    hahahah. Worst timing EVER.

    Yeeeeah...I farted in my husband's face while he was...erm...down there...AND THEN HE TOLD MY WHOLE FAMILY ABOUT IT!!!

    OMG, that just made me laugh! My now-ex was doing that, and I started laughing because I was trying to hold one in! That didn't go over too well. :tongue:

    Yeah, I bet! One of the last things I bet a guy wants to hear while he's trying to perform oral acrobatics is, "Snort! Giggle Tee hee!" :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Ooooh, I'm dying laughing right now.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    As long as it is not during certain sex positions!

    hahahah. Worst timing EVER.

    Yeeeeah...I farted in my husband's face while he was...erm...down there...AND THEN HE TOLD MY WHOLE FAMILY ABOUT IT!!!

    OMG, that just made me laugh! My now-ex was doing that, and I started laughing because I was trying to hold one in! That didn't go over too well. :tongue:

    Yeah, I bet! One of the last things I bet a guy wants to hear while he's trying to perform oral acrobatics is, "Snort! Giggle Tee hee!" :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Ooooh, I'm dying laughing right now.

    I just saw your comment about him sharting! *high five* :laugh:
  • daveinlancs
    daveinlancs Posts: 165 Member
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    I reckon I'm the only person on MFP who had to look up the phrase "dutch oven". Even my son didn't know that one and he's usually the one who has to explain slang phrases to me. The things you learn on MFP!

    I am only part way through the thread and am yet to look it up...
  • daveinlancs
    daveinlancs Posts: 165 Member
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    Okay I have googled and now have a dose of the chuckles. :laugh:
  • Debtastic12
    Debtastic12 Posts: 29
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    Hahahahahahaha the forbidden subject. I was married to my last husband for 14 years and never did anything apart from pee n burp infront of him yet he would sit with the bathroom door open and poo like it was normal lol. ive been with my 2nd husband now for 5 year and i can do the pee n burp stuff, him too but we cant poop or fart infront of eachother pmsl although he has told me i do it in my sleep but hey, im not concious of it so it doesnt count :noway:
  • AnnyaSB
    AnnyaSB Posts: 233 Member
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    All this poop/fart talk got things "moving." Be right back. In the meantime, read this....HILARIOUS!!!

    http://hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny/

    ^^^ This just made me laugh out loud....... not good in a room full of people. SO very funny :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • crazy4lulu
    crazy4lulu Posts: 822 Member
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    i take in so much protein during the day, that this house is a death trap for my hubs and children by night time. dont light a match or it will blow!!

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