it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?

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Replies

  • GoTeamMeaghan
    GoTeamMeaghan Posts: 347 Member
    My husband is an awesome guy and works like 60 hours a week. I love him & like to do nice things for him, like make him dinner. We have differnet tastes and different nutritional needs (I have Chron's disease which brings with it multiple dietary restrictions). Plus, it's my business if I make him dinner, I even hand him his plate of food & get him seconds if he wants it. He appreciates it and thanks me for it everyday. I suggest you focus more on yourself than on what other people are doing. I don't know if you're married or not, but marriage isn't a battle to see who wins, it's about showing each other how you care. I show him I care by cooking, cleaning, laundry, that kind of stuff. He shows me he cares by keeping a roof over my head & 2 cars in the driveway. He's sat with me in the hospital nearly all night even though he has to be at work in the morning, so if he wants pasta and I don't then who gives a *kitten* If I make him dinner?!
  • cordianet
    cordianet Posts: 534 Member
    Stereotype much?
  • taliar93
    taliar93 Posts: 111 Member
    This is why marriage doesn't work in the U.S. :laugh: A woman will still want to be pursued by a man, wined and dined when he catches her, provide/do the manly jobs that come up...but he better not expect anything other than the nightly headache in return for his effort - :drinker:

    Oops, I forgot, I'm not supposed to tell the truth...just sit there like a neutered dog :flowerforyou:

    and let the feminist remarks start! lol! :flowerforyou:

    Hubby mainly does the cooking cos he's a total foodie, and I don't mind either way :) as for cooking two different meals, I couldn't care less, people that do that either enjoy cooking or can't man up and say no, since I'm not in the situation I could honestly give a rat's backside what other people do meal wise, if that's what makes a person happy go for it.

    And when he gets a job, guess who's going to be doing 99% of cooking/cleaning, yours truly, not because it's an old stereotype, but because I don't want my husband to come home after a long day at work and have to cook, it's a partnership, he makes the money, I make the dinner, and I'm perfectly happy with that :drinker:
  • ToughTulip
    ToughTulip Posts: 1,118 Member
    I honestly don't see the big deal at all. I absolutely love cooking and wouldn't mind
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I honestly don't see the big deal at all. I absolutely love cooking and wouldn't mind

    And I as a man loves cooking and for all my ex's I have often cooked for or with them.

    My brother on the other hand cannot even make himself fried eggs so its either his wife (who's a stay at home mom) cooking him which she does happily, or him eating from outside.
  • Shadowknight137
    Shadowknight137 Posts: 1,243 Member
    I was raised with a "you want a separate meal, cook it yourself" attitude in the household.

    Granted, now I'm an awesome cook. Win/Win.
  • LeanerBeef
    LeanerBeef Posts: 1,432 Member
    Come on now......my question is why aren't they???

    I cooked dinner tonight & just got done folding 2 loads of laundry........:grumble:
  • TMLPatrick
    TMLPatrick Posts: 558 Member
    If a guy can't cook, he probably isn't capable of maintaining a household. It's not brain surgery. I like cooking.... its rewarding to eat something you made yourself. It also usually tastes better.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    :noway:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    My husband is an awesome guy and works like 60 hours a week. I love him & like to do nice things for him, like make him dinner. We have differnet tastes and different nutritional needs (I have Chron's disease which brings with it multiple dietary restrictions). Plus, it's my business if I make him dinner, I even hand him his plate of food & get him seconds if he wants it. He appreciates it and thanks me for it everyday. I suggest you focus more on yourself than on what other people are doing. I don't know if you're married or not, but marriage isn't a battle to see who wins, it's about showing each other how you care. I show him I care by cooking, cleaning, laundry, that kind of stuff. He shows me he cares by keeping a roof over my head & 2 cars in the driveway. He's sat with me in the hospital nearly all night even though he has to be at work in the morning, so if he wants pasta and I don't then who gives a *kitten* If I make him dinner?!
    ^ this but mine works regular hours and I still think he deserves to eat. And if my picky eaters who I love to death want different foods I get it for them. I make as many foods as necessary to make sure everyone eats because I consider it my responsibility and luckily he considers it his to look out for me. He has nursed me back to health numerous times [not that disease but something else] and has been a good provider/friend/and french toast maker on sundays. If I choose to spoil my man or my kids it's my business. Feminism was and is still supposed to be about choices and you harshing on mine doesn't make it feel that way. Please keep these kinds of opinions to yourself or else people in the opposing camp will have to tell you all the ways They think Feminism has failed the american family, and society at large. I personally just wish people would not use feminist ideas to pigeonhole women any more. Telling me how to run my household does just that.
  • WineMaiden
    WineMaiden Posts: 27
    My husband can't cook a thing but I don't mind cooking because I like to do it. I also work part time and he works full time. I only cook one meal--not two. He can warm his up when he is ready for it. My husband also does all the yard work which I despise doing. Traditionalists? Maybe but we have been married 11 years so it's obviously a good arrangement for us.

    But there are plenty of men who can cook---and really well.
  • blu_meanie_ca
    blu_meanie_ca Posts: 352 Member
    My husband hasn't done a damb thing around the house for 2 weeks... because he's been up north working. When he gets home I'm going to throw his @ss on the balcony to cook some steaks (the only cooking he really knows how to do), and for the next few days that he's home we'll probably eat "daddy food", and some birthday cake (my son turns 4 :) ).
    So, why do I nurture my husband. Because he worked outside the last 2 weeks in minus 40 weather to make sure the kids and I are taken care of. Not everyone can be an accountant, and be home to be a doting husband. Sometimes, you just have to do what works.
  • lizlkbg
    lizlkbg Posts: 566
    You're right, I'm not my husband's mother.
    That cow wouldn't care enough about anybody past herself to cook them a meal they liked.
    For me, it's a pleasure.
  • taliar93
    taliar93 Posts: 111 Member
    Who are you even directing this toward?

    My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.
    Every day there is at least a couple threads of women saying their husbands can't cook....


    Massive difference between can't cook and won't cook.
  • EvaD12
    EvaD12 Posts: 49
    Who are you even directing this toward?

    My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.
    Every day there is at least a couple threads of women saying their husbands can't cook....


    As long as they aren't making you cook for their husbands who cares?
  • sashastackhouse
    sashastackhouse Posts: 51 Member
    I'm not married yet, but my boyfriend and I love to cook for each other. It depends on who is into it on whatever given day. But if one person does the cooking, the other cleans. It's pretty fair in that way. Or if we are both lazy, we will just pick up something. Luckily, my boyfriend likes to cook.

    Also, does this really belong in the food and nutrition section? Seems like it should be in the chit-chat area. Or maybe MFP could start a 'blowing off steam' tab.
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    It's 2013, GTF over it.

    My man cooks for me because he stays at home - he is in school . He also cleans the house, drops off/picks up our son, is building a car and somehow occasionally has the energy to give me good lovin. Now, this arrangement is not how its always been. When I was unemployed I did all the above - AND cooked two meals for dinner. Because I like to eat light and he doesn't. He works his *kitten* off all day regardless of work or not and he needs more fuel than I do. I am not his mother, I am his WIFE and I take care of him.

    If you aren't happy because you are being asked to cook separate meals, then you should say so.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    My wife is lucky. Because of her long work hours, I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills, yardwork, fixing stuff, child care, homework, etc. And she still gets shoulder/foot rubs most of the week!
    And somehow I still find time to work part time and workout an hour and a half a day.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • blu_meanie_ca
    blu_meanie_ca Posts: 352 Member
    Smushy, lovie stuff aside.. my husband has a very physical job. His calorie allotment (even for weighloss) is well above mine. Since starting this whole thing, it's been often that I will make something for myself, and something else more calorie/carb dense for the kids, and further adjustments in fat/protien for him. I'm cooking anyways, so adding another pot on the stove, or tweaking a recpie is nothing compaired to the chaos of 2 cooks w/ 2 sets of menus, dishes, and tastes.
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  • SleepingBeauty12345
    SleepingBeauty12345 Posts: 101 Member
    This is why marriage doesn't work in the U.S. :laugh: A woman will still want to be pursued by a man, wined and dined when he catches her, provide/do the manly jobs that come up...but he better not expect anything other than the nightly headache in return for his effort - :drinker:

    Oops, I forgot, I'm not supposed to tell the truth...just sit there like a neutered dog :flowerforyou:
    [/quote



    i agree! well said! ]
  • CanadianChic
    CanadianChic Posts: 141
    Come on now......my question is why aren't they???

    I cooked dinner tonight & just got done folding 2 loads of laundry........:grumble:

    Just like you should :drinker: :drinker: :laugh:
  • Toya2xcel
    Toya2xcel Posts: 107 Member
    Why are you wasting time being offended by other people's lifestyle choices? I do all the cooking in our house because that is the one thing my husband refuses to do. lol And I don't think that means I am "playing mother" to him just because I cook for my man. He does help out with everything else though so I have no complaints :-)

    I am interested to know whether or not you are married or have children???
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
    Come on now......my question is why aren't they???

    I cooked dinner tonight & just got done folding 2 loads of laundry........:grumble:

    Just like you should :drinker: :drinker: :laugh:

    Now go clean the bathroom. :laugh:
  • murphinchina
    murphinchina Posts: 72
    My girlfriend comes from a traditional Chinese family. It's taken her a year to get over the fact that I cook and (sometimes) clean. She was confused and even a little nervous the first time she cooked for me (at my house) and, after dinner, I told her to sit down and relax while I cleaned the kitchen. She still does the laundry, though I do share that, and cleans the house (the kitchen is all mine though) because that is her contribution to the housework, etc.

    btw... IMHO, any guy that is truly incapable of cooking, is probably also incapable of wiping the drool running down his face. Cooking is really easy (cooking GREAT food is a bit tougher). They are simply too lazy or too afraid to try. (Yes, there are exceptions to this). BUT... if the couple has an understanding that the guy won't cook... it certainly won't affect my night's sleep!

    Now, if you'll excuse me, since my gf is away I'm going to get started on my Cajun-buffalo chicken breasts... yum!
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    I have a deal for all men to offer their wives:

    "I'll learn to cook when you can squat heavier than I can."
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    The complaint sounds shrill.

    I enjoy cooking, and will just as easily cook something specific for my daughters when I know they won't like what I'm making for myself. They are required to taste things.

    I enjoy cooking and being cooked for and the not so small pleasure of shared meals.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    Come on now......my question is why aren't they???

    I cooked dinner tonight & just got done folding 2 loads of laundry........:grumble:

    Just like you should :drinker: :drinker: :laugh:

    Now go clean the bathroom. :laugh:

    Or at least put in a new roll of toilet paper when it's empty-I'd be good with that.
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
    Ummm....

    I am a man and I do all the cooking in our household and have done the cooking for most of my life.
    I taught my kids how to cook and to experience the kitchen as an exciting place where they can develop their creativity and passion.
    I also do a very substantial part of the housework - which I don't think it particularly unusual.
    kind regards,

    Ben
  • pumpkinspice84
    pumpkinspice84 Posts: 160 Member
    I enjoy cooking for my family. My husband has meals he likes to cook and does sometimes. My husband works hard all day and when he gets home I like to have a nice hot meal made while he relaxes for a bit. It also gives him time to spend with our kids that he hasn't seen all day. After dinner he does the dishes and helps bath the kids. I love having knowing I made a healthy meal for my family. I won't make a different meal for anyone unless it is too spicy for the kids. I think 2013 is great in our house.

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