'No, I don't date BIG girls'

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  • Teddy_B
    Teddy_B Posts: 69 Member
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    I think if you are basing any major part of your mate selection on something as fleeting as physical attraction you are already dooming yourself to an unhappy relationship. Physical attraction should be a nice to have not a deal breaker.

    But when you first meet someone, first impression, all you have to go on is physical attraction.

    Loving someone's personality or charm is great--- but you don't actually see any of that until you get to know them. And if you're not physically attracted to them, you're not going to bother going that far.

    For the record, I've never been told "Oh, I don't date big guys," but I've dated girls who've told me they don't date skinny guys. :)
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Limiting your choices to a preference for a certain shell seems sad to me.

    If I said I don't date girls, I'd have missed out on Tiffany and Fari. Both girls rocked my world and left a lasting impression.

    If I said I don't date black people, I'd have missed out on Will. While the relationship was bad, it was a life lesson that I needed at the time, and I don't regret a minute of it.

    If I said I don't date fat people, I would have missed out on the greatest love I have ever known. My husband was morbidly obese when we met, and is even bigger now. (I am on MFP because I allowed his habits to become my habits, but I'm getting back in shape!) And I love every single soft, incredible, sexy inch of him. Yes, I want him to lose weight for health reasons, but I love him and am attracted to him because of who he is.

    A shell is not a person. It's just the house they inherited. L'amore è cieco.

    she's right people, a shell is not a person. you cant talk to a shell. a shell wont be there for you in the hard times. but you can hold it up to your ear and it sounds like the sea. I know right!?!

    I'm not sticking "that" into a shell. I step on the damn things too often on the beach and they're a bit sharp.
  • aloranger7708
    aloranger7708 Posts: 422 Member
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    I still can't believe that people like this exist. Of all my years of being 'bigger' I've never had someone blatantly tell me, "I won't date you because you're fat" or "I'm not attracted to big girls." I understand that everyone has different tastes in what they're attracted to, because I'm the same way. I won't date someone unless I'm physically attracted to them. I don't see that as being mean, but rather it's science working in my brain. I would never tell someone they were fat, ugly, etc., though.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Meat is for a man, bone is for the dog

    Nuff said :) now lets all go rock it :happy:


    Ah, this one again. Cool. So it's not ok to fat shame, but totally ok to skinny shame? Got it.


    Anyway, I don't date "big" guys, I just don't find big dudes (be that overweight or huge and muscley) attractive, so I guess I'm a douche, too.

    I've got with some fat dudes before. I was very much into the "funny fat guy" deal. Then I met my ripped husband and never looked back. LOL Ironically, I ended up with the man with a serious persona and extremely dry humor. His jokes are hard to catch... I've had the BEST of both worlds.

    ETA: LOL missed the part in the parenthesis! Ooops!
  • Thewatcher_66
    Thewatcher_66 Posts: 1,643 Member
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    Who really says that nowadays?

    It really bothers me when some, and I repeat, some guys think 'big girls' are nasty, stinky, lazy, and whatever other degrading adjective comes to mind. Seriously, those kind of guys need to get over that thought because it makes them look like a cocky, dumb, *kitten*.

    What are your feelings about that?

    It's a matter of preference. Some folks dont' date others on the basis of other factors (race, height, political beliefs, etc). I don't know that it makes them "cocky dumb *kitten*" however. It's just a matter of preference.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    Who really says that nowadays?

    It really bothers me when some, and I repeat, some guys think 'big girls' are nasty, stinky, lazy, and whatever other degrading adjective comes to mind. Seriously, those kind of guys need to get over that thought because it makes them look like a cocky, dumb, *kitten*.

    What are your feelings about that?

    Some guys just aren't attracted to that body type. Doesn't necessarily mean they think they are "stinky, lazy, sloppy" or whatever. I happen to prefer bigger white men, and I'm not attracted to Latinos. Doesn't mean there in anything wrong with skinny guys, or Mexicans. Just not my cup of tea.

    People shouldn't jump on others just for being tactfully honest.

    And for those claiming that physical attraction isn't everything and you shouldn't base relationships off them, I totally agree. But there has to be SOMETHING there. Relationships and marriage are hard enough without having attraction issues from the beginning. Just my two cents.
  • gypsyrose64
    gypsyrose64 Posts: 271 Member
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    People are entitled to their preferences but they dont need to be mean or rude about their expression of it.

    ^^^ this

    After divorcing years ago, I dabbled in online dating. I had a few who outright asked for my weight and then proclaimed, "I don't date women that weigh more than me". I get it's there preference, as I do not date SMOKERS(even though I'm an ex smoker). Sure, it stung that I wasn't even considered because of the weight.

    With that said, I see it like this. My appearance is not static and subject to change over time..... if they weren't interested in my other assets up front, then they wouldn't have appreciated me later... EVEN IF they found me attractive now....so there was no real loss there.
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
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    Meat is for a man, bone is for the dog

    Nuff said :) now lets all go rock it :happy:

    :huh:
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
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    boy-venn-diagram_zpsb4da8984.jpg

    Hey, my nerd is handsome. :tongue:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    Meat is for a man, bone is for the dog

    Nuff said :) now lets all go rock it :happy:


    wow, now THAT was the winning response. :flowerforyou:
  • VeinsAndBones
    VeinsAndBones Posts: 550 Member
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    7/10 women to me aren't attractive anywhoosers, besides personality is king
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    boy-venn-diagram_zpsb4da8984.jpg

    It's a good thing I'm not nice . . . though I do have a man crush on at least one of my friends . . .
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    i WILL go about with guys that have 'squishy middles' (reference my current bf and 3 out of 4 past LTRs). i m not a 'chubby chaser'; i just am not shallow myself and find that 'squishy' dudes usually aren't either. at all.

    i am NOT interested in someone who can't keep up with me physically, however. you don't necessarily need to run or longboard or whatev WITH me, but you have to be able to at least walk a mile without dying. so 'fat' guys r straight out. sry.

    it's not really about what you look like. it's more about how i run/skate 1-3 mi/day, i'm always moving, never sit still, and i'm not going to slow down for someone who gets winded going up a flight of stairs. i don't think this is an inappropriate rubric.

    if dudes have the same rubric re: dating women, i think that's fine. mostly, they're probably just shallow about it. i dunno. :huh:
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    "Big" girls do it best. It's truly their loss and they don't know what they're missing. I bet after an hour with me they'd "date" "big" girls ;)
    Yaa, I have heard that one before..and was left totally disappoint

    Any girl, big or small, can disappoint. Same goes with guys.
    Yet, your post says "big girls do it best" implying that ALL big girls do it best.


    I wasn't implying anything, simply stating my opinion. And I didn't mean ALL"big" girls, I meant THIS "big" girl.
    What is going to happen when you lose weight and aren't a "big" girl anymore, will your powers to "do it best" be diminished?
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    And FWIW, since some people here are implying that there's some kind of double standard going on, I have been very happy with guys who were overweight; I was even engaged to one at one time. And he was handsome and I was crazy about him. Being overweight doesn't suddenly make you an unattractive person. Not that I'd know or anything. :wink:

    I've also been with guys who were professional body builders, guys who were super lean, guys who had an average build... long hair, short hair, almost no hair... tall, short, and everything in between. I don't have a "type" when it comes to looks. I find that I am more interested in a guy for his personality, intelligence, sense of humor, etc.

    Curiously enough, there have been several times in my life that a guy has told me, after months of being together, that he would not typically find himself attracted to a girl who was carrying extra weight... but that he was intensely attracted to me and found that my weight just wasn't an issue. One such man is now my husband. :heart:
  • Thewatcher_66
    Thewatcher_66 Posts: 1,643 Member
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    [/quote]
    What is going to happen when you lose weight and aren't a "big" girl anymore, will your powers to "do it best" be diminished?
    [/quote]


    This.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    "Big" girls do it best. It's truly their loss and they don't know what they're missing. I bet after an hour with me they'd "date" "big" girls ;)
    Yaa, I have heard that one before..and was left totally disappoint

    Any girl, big or small, can disappoint. Same goes with guys.
    Yet, your post says "big girls do it best" implying that ALL big girls do it best.


    I wasn't implying anything, simply stating my opinion. And I didn't mean ALL"big" girls, I meant THIS "big" girl.
    What is going to happen when you lose weight and aren't a "big" girl anymore, will your powers to "do it best" be diminished?

    Honestly, as someone who has been a "big girl" and really isn't so much anymore... sex is way easier than it used to be... and by that, I mean positions.
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
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    It is totally fine to me if someone dosnt wanna date fat girls, even if they tell me! im not going to be bitter about it thats his preference. i used to say i didnt want to date fat guys for the reason being sex would be like each of us strapping a beach ball to our tummys and trying to make somthing work. now i have fallen in love with a large husky man with some belly and he proved me wrong! not saying "give us a chance" but my views and attractions have broadened to say the least. you like what you like. who am i to judge?
  • thisdarkpassenger
    thisdarkpassenger Posts: 76 Member
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    I am confident in my skills, no matter my size.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I think if you are basing any major part of your mate selection on something as fleeting as physical attraction you are already dooming yourself to an unhappy relationship. Physical attraction should be a nice to have not a deal breaker.

    This makes me sad to see people think this way. Physical attraction doesn't have to be the biggest part of a mate selection, and compatibility on other levels is very important too, but if you're committing to be with that person (and no other person) for the long term, then physical attracttion is and will continue to be VERY important. I could care less about the age, weight or looks of the people I'm friends with, as long as I like spending time with them, but when it comes to the person I sleep with....its pretty imporant to actually be attracted to them...:ohwell:

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