I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...

Options
1…1112141617…23

Replies

  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Options
    It's a cake. For normal people, the matter of what it was made out of and who ate how much of it will be forgotten in a matter of hours, if noted at all.

    If I were in a social circle with someone who harped on a freaking CAKE for years, the subject of laughter would be them.
    This! What kind of off-the-deep-end people would obsess about what somebody else *didn't* eat that one time?! Weird.

    The comment wasn't about what the OP ate. The comment was about the person's reaction if watermelon was disguised as cake and served at a party.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Options
    The comment wasn't about what the OP ate. The comment was about the person's reaction if watermelon was disguised as cake and served at a party.
    I get what you're referring to, but other posters on this thread have indeed also said that if the OP did not eat cake it would be gossiped about and they would be laughed at for years. And I was maintaining that it would be weird to bring up year after year that dear old Aunt Mildred didn't eat any mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving. That's all.
  • izehar
    izehar Posts: 5
    Options
    Tell her ahead of time and if she still buys the cake don't eat it. People need to grow up and realize that their feelings might get hurt sometimes and you might have to hurt someones feelings. You need to look out for yourself. She's not really celebrating your birthday if she willfully will not accomidate your journey to lose the weight.
  • izehar
    izehar Posts: 5
    Options
    The poster talked about store bought cake. I find that they taste bad and are full of artificial flavorings and colors. I think she just wants to have a cake that tastes good and that her body can process easily.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    Options
    Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?

    My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
    for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
    'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.

    Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
    piece?
    Thanks!!

    i'd think it to be the very height of bad manners.

    it's one thing to embrace the healthy lifestyle etc,etc,etc...a slice of shop made cake won't kill you unless you eat 3 of those cakes a day every day.

    I'm surprised you didn't see/consider it from your sister in law's perspective before seeking counsel from random strangers.
  • sandytoshiko
    sandytoshiko Posts: 67 Member
    Options
    Since its your sis in law, maybe ask your husband to mention your diet to her? Or even ask for an angel food cake or something in its place? It's my birthday Thursday and I did ask my husband not to get me a cake, but to make me breakfast instead :)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Options
    She buys you one every year? So this would be breaking tradition.

    You have the choice to either talk to her or eat the cake. Last resort take a trip to Hawaii for your B-Day and not invite her.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Options
    She buys you one every year? So this would be breaking tradition.

    You have the choice to either talk to her or eat the cake. Last resort take a trip to Hawaii for your B-Day and not invite her.
    Hahaha, that seems a little extreme when all she needs to do is be a little assertive about her own needs. :laugh:
  • agdyl
    agdyl Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    The comment wasn't about what the OP ate. The comment was about the person's reaction if watermelon was disguised as cake and served at a party.
    I get what you're referring to, but other posters on this thread have indeed also said that if the OP did not eat cake it would be gossiped about and they would be laughed at for years. And I was maintaining that it would be weird to bring up year after year that dear old Aunt Mildred didn't eat any mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving. That's all.

    Seriously. If my friends, family and coworkers have nothing better to talk about than my "weird" diet, I'm glad I'm making their life more interesting.

    When we have cake in the office, it IS what we talk about. Every single time. You're really not going to have any? You never eat cake? Why? Aren't you depressed? I'd kill myself before I said no to cake! Just have a piece. (Not exaggerating either with these quotes - and they think I'm the weird one...) They have a party with cake every few weeks and people bring in homemade cakes and pies and whatnot all the time. It would never end.

    If I gave in every time I was around someone who said "just have a small piece" of cake, just one cookie, just one piece of bread at the restaurant, just one of whatever, I'd be eating piles and piles of crap. You know how I lost weight? I started saying no thank you and meaning it.

    And I get it - people's feelings DO get hurt. I said no thank you and now they feel guilty for eating crap if not everyone is doing it too. It makes them feel better if I eat it too, so they push and push and push. But that's THEIR ISSUE, not mine. I don't feel deprived without cake, I actually feel better physically and mentally without it. I'm not about to be talked into eating things that do not make me feel good because of peer pressure.

    I said it earlier but just talk to your relatives about it. If they want to have cake for everyone else, let everyone else eat cake, unless you're catering your own party. Eat whatever you want to celebrate and if they want to talk about it, let them talk. Seriously - if that's the worst thing that you can come up with to say about me - I'm totally fine with being known as the crazy person who won't eat sugar/junk food/store bought cake/whatever. It's all true, so I'm happy to own up to it.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Options
    My family and friends has a lot of potluck style parties. Aside from the few times someone has a ridiculous hissyfit over carbs or something*, no one gives a damn what anyone else eats or doesn't eat.

    While I can't personally understand saying no to birthday cake, I would never be offended if someone didn't eat some of whatever yummy I brought to a party.


    *Saying "no thank you" is fine. Preaching about the evils of the food every else is eating and enjoying is rude.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Options
    The comment wasn't about what the OP ate. The comment was about the person's reaction if watermelon was disguised as cake and served at a party.
    I get what you're referring to, but other posters on this thread have indeed also said that if the OP did not eat cake it would be gossiped about and they would be laughed at for years. And I was maintaining that it would be weird to bring up year after year that dear old Aunt Mildred didn't eat any mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving. That's all.

    There's a difference between choosing not to enjoy the cranberry sauce and flat refusing to eat two bites of a cake somebody went to the effort of getting you. Especially when you haven't given them the opportunity to get you something else and even more when you've apparently enjoyed it every other year.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Options
    I want cake. That is all.
    Kit-Kat-Cake-Cover_Photo.jpg
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
    Options
    Maybe in the future, if you find temptation to be too much, ask her to do something healthy like a yogurt bar (pick your own toppings, healthy yogurt w/fruit and granola, etc).

    I'd say (personally) eat a slice of cake...it's your birthday.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Options
    When we have cake in the office, it IS what we talk about. Every single time. You're really not going to have any? You never eat cake? Why? Aren't you depressed? I'd kill myself before I said no to cake! Just have a piece. (Not exaggerating either with these quotes - and they think I'm the weird one...) They have a party with cake every few weeks and people bring in homemade cakes and pies and whatnot all the time. It would never end.

    If I gave in every time I was around someone who said "just have a small piece" of cake, just one cookie, just one piece of bread at the restaurant, just one of whatever, I'd be eating piles and piles of crap. You know how I lost weight? I started saying no thank you and meaning it.
    I think what the sane/reasonable people are talking about is eating cake once in a while and making it fit your budget, not eating a bunch of cake every single day. There's a difference between "a piece doesn't fit into my budget at this time" and "I can never ever eat cake again as long as I live." One of those is healthy and reasonable, the other is every bit as messed up and disordered as eating bunches of cake every day. It's just going from one extreme way of eating to yet another extreme and ridiculous way of eating without having actually learned anything.
  • jerber160
    jerber160 Posts: 2,606 Member
    Options
    there IS the theory that one should never be rude. I was at a very small dinner party once and watched a dear friend clean her plate, including dreaded PEAS. It was so hard not to laugh as she ate becase I KNOW how much she despises them.... but it was a beautiful evening, a good time was had by all, the peas did not hurt her and the hostess was thrilled we had such a good time. Cake should be easy-"I'll have just a small piece please. You knoW I'm dieting.." I'd treat it like a toast of fine wine to your health.. with smiles... and thanks.. AND I'd make sure I gave a LOT of it away so I didn't hoover leftovers...
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    Options
    Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?

    My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
    for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
    'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.

    Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
    piece?
    Thanks!!
    Pass it over here. I'll eat it.
  • AlyssaJoJo
    AlyssaJoJo Posts: 449 Member
    Options
    It's your birthday so request what you want. To sit there and say nothing will end with her going out of her way to get you the cake and then yes, you seeming rude NOT to eat it. There are plenty of OTHER things that you can suggest that other people wont mind. Fruit cake, fruit pizza, etc. Do you just refuse to eat sugar? Becaues there are plenty of cakes out that that have avacado and apple sauce in them over the normal crap filled cakes. I love the crap filled cakes, but that's me... I would never want someone on their bd to have something that they don't want.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    Options
    When we have cake in the office, it IS what we talk about. Every single time. You're really not going to have any? You never eat cake? Why? Aren't you depressed? I'd kill myself before I said no to cake! Just have a piece. (Not exaggerating either with these quotes - and they think I'm the weird one...) They have a party with cake every few weeks and people bring in homemade cakes and pies and whatnot all the time. It would never end.

    If I gave in every time I was around someone who said "just have a small piece" of cake, just one cookie, just one piece of bread at the restaurant, just one of whatever, I'd be eating piles and piles of crap. You know how I lost weight? I started saying no thank you and meaning it.
    I think what the sane/reasonable people are talking about is eating cake once in a while and making it fit your budget, not eating a bunch of cake every single day. There's a difference between "a piece doesn't fit into my budget at this time" and "I can never ever eat cake again as long as I live." One of those is healthy and reasonable, the other is every bit as messed up and disordered as eating bunches of cake every day. It's just going from one extreme way of eating to yet another extreme and ridiculous way of eating without having actually learned anything.

    Well put. We didn't end up here because we have a great healthy personality about eating. Trading one crazy for another is not an improvement.
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
    Options
    I think what the sane/reasonable people are talking about is eating cake once in a while and making it fit your budget....

    Okay, and so what if I just don't want to make cake fit in to my budget? What if I'd rather have another helping of nachos or a martini? Why do other's care?

    ...There's a difference between "a piece doesn't fit into my budget at this time" and "I can never ever eat cake again as long as I live." One of those is healthy and reasonable, the other is every bit as messed up and disordered as eating bunches of cake every day. It's just going from one extreme way of eating to yet another extreme and ridiculous way of eating without having actually learned anything.

    Why is it *insane, unhealthy, unreasonable, messed up, disordered* if someone truly does not want cake and would be perfectly happy to never have another slice as long as they live? I mean surely there's got to be some people who feel about cake as I do about lima beans or coconut, no?
  • mjh1959
    mjh1959 Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    Tell her in advance that you apprecite the gesture but do not want cake. Suggest an alternative. The Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches are delicious, and you can put a birthday candle in it!

Categories