Minor rant

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  • holly3585
    holly3585 Posts: 282 Member
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    My first thought isn't jealousy- it's honesty. I know everyone has a different take on things, and everyone has a perfect potion for body fat/height/fitness level maybe she was trying to nicely mention that you look a little thin and maybe she is worried that you might not be in the best mind frame......... some people get obsessed about loss, and you do seem to post pics that show ribs, and teeny tiny legs..... don't be so skeptical about people. She probably did not anticipate you over thinking what she did either.
  • blondageh
    blondageh Posts: 923 Member
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    Without seeing the pictures, it's hard to tell? I did click on your profile and 5'9 and 125 is very thin! Maybe she just thinks you are too thin? Whatever you feel comfortable at is what is important. Try not to take it personally. Maybe that was just her way to let you know you can be beautiful either way?
  • DashDeV
    DashDeV Posts: 545 Member
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    It's probably true. I find when some people lose weight their face changes, and not for the good. I liked my face a little better with the cheek chub.
  • jewel22887
    jewel22887 Posts: 72
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    Some people like people with excess fat on them. I have a wide range of girls at work and some of our guys some can't stand the fit size zeros and chase the "excess fat" 180s may just be her opinion. Not an insult.
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
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    As long as you are happy and healthy that is all that matters. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and she probably just felt you were close enough for her to express that she felt you looked nicer with a little more meat on you, I don't think it meant she was jealous or being catty. That being said, that photo with your rib cage sticking out, does not look healthy or attractive. Stay safe and healthy

    Good luck
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    I'll be honest, I do like my face better with a little more weight, but I like my body with a little less weight - I have a lot more definition and can see the muscle I've worked so hard to build. Right now I've been holding steady for almost 2 years around the 125 mark. I definitely am not starving on 2200 calories a day.

    It's not just about looks. Body calistentics are much easier for me at a lighter weight, and it allows me to move more and do more. I can do 10 chin ups in a row, and indefinite one legged push ups. Most of this isn't jsut because I'm strong, but also because I don't weigh very much. Sorry, but I'm not willing to give that up to appease certain people.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    This is jealousy, pure and simple. She's trying to make you feel insecure and make herself feel better. She also might have some boundary issues. Asking to see a heavier pic of you after you said you didn't like to show people old pics is crossing the line.

    I actually read this the other way....

    I read it like this:

    Girl: Can I see an old picture of you?

    OP: I hate old pictures of me, I look awful.

    Girl: Oh wow, you look beautiful, maybe even more beautiful than now.

    OP: Ouch that hurt...

    I guess what I'm saying is, maybe she saw something in you that you don't see, maybe she saw something that to her didn't justify you being so hard on the old you....that being said she probably worded it badly to make it sound like you are prettier than...you are very pretty now.

    I would just say "Thank you, I appreciate the compliment. I love how fit and attractive I am now. But I do appreciate you saying that."

    that's all...compliments that we give always have a bit of us in them....maybe she wonders or feels that she looked better with a few more pounds on her....who knows..
  • Sonj1973
    Sonj1973 Posts: 188 Member
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    Some people, when they are successful losing weight, sometimes go a little too far and end up losing too much weight. It has a lot to do with self image and still seeing yourself fat as opposed to the reality of what you really look like and what other people see.

    You said, " I personally don't think ANYBODY looks good with excess fat on them, and I am not an exception. "...well, I personally think you're wrong. I like women with a little "meat on the bones" as much, and sometimes better than someone who is labelled fit. It's all personal opinion and choice.

    I have a friend, who at one time, dropped 100 lbs and ended up weighing in around 150 lbs...in my opinion he looked like he was on crack and was just too thin and looked awful. He finally realized that it was time to quit losing and it would be good if he gained some weight and got back up to 175 where he said he felt he not only looked his best, but felt his best.

    To me, you have a very narrow image of what's "normal".

    Don't get me wrong, you should be proud of your accomplishments, but just because you feel you need to look a certain way or think you look better at a certain size, doesn't mean others aren't able to have their own opinions as well. Looking over your pictures, the one with your ribcage sticking out seems as though you're too thin in my opinion. But that's just me.

    I kind of get what's been said here....I to think you've done extremely well and if your happy in your own skin then that's great....But looking through your pics the one with your rib cage made me think the same....I also appreciate that losing the weight can become an obsession as much as it is a goal.

    You said you were 5ft 9 and weighing only 125.....I'm 5ft 5 and would be comfortable at 140, that's my thin, but you may consider me fat! again only an opinion and not meant to offend x
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    My first thought isn't jealousy- it's honesty. I know everyone has a different take on things, and everyone has a perfect potion for body fat/height/fitness level maybe she was trying to nicely mention that you look a little thin and maybe she is worried that you might not be in the best mind frame......... some people get obsessed about loss, and you do seem to post pics that show ribs, and teeny tiny legs..... don't be so skeptical about people. She probably did not anticipate you over thinking what she did either.

    This I think. I don't think she was saying that you truly looked better at over 200lbs, but that she thinks you are too thin now. She just didn't want to say that you look like you may have disordered eating with the way your ribs are sticking out. She is probably concerned about your health and not sure how to broach the subject.

    ETA: Unless you are doing a lot of cardio, 2200 cals is not disordered. I am not saying that you are, just that she may have thought that. If you are happy (and strong!) that is all that matters, but people will judge you just as they would if they believe that someone is too big.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    ETA: should have read the OP a bit better....
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    Yeah I agree - it wasn't jealousy; she was just being honest which is why it cut a little. She is a decent person otherwise and I get along with her well.

    As for my ribs sticking out, that is how I'm built. That's what happened to me on 1500 calories a day in WL mode, and 2200 in maintenance. I didn't starve myself to get that way, but I'm sorry if that's offensive to some and makes them uncomfortable.
  • cdjs77
    cdjs77 Posts: 176 Member
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    Checked your profitle and you are underweight for 5'9". Maybe she has a point.

    Actually, her profile says she is 5'9" and 125 lbs. That's a BMI of 18.5, within the healthy range. It may be at the very bottom of that range, but it's still a healthy BMI.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    I'll be honest, I do like my face better with a little more weight,



    So, you agree with her.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    I have been to the doctor a few times now, and all they comment on is how great my blood work is, and how healthy I am. I have shared my diet and she has agreed - I am definitely not underweight for my build. This is just what a healthy body looks like.

    Just want to make sure the anorexia police are up to date.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    I'll be honest, I do like my face better with a little more weight,



    So, you agree with her.

    What is your point?
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    I'll be honest, I do like my face better with a little more weight,



    So, you agree with her.

    What is your point?


    That was my point. That was exactly my point.

    eta: Think about it for a moment.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    Well okay then.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Weight loss is a funny thing. A few people have said, either to me or talking about me to my husband, that they aren't sure how to compliment my weight loss because they're worried it will sound like they're saying I looked horrible before.

    So although your colleague *asked* to see the picture, she might not have known how to react to it.

    I dunno, I'm someone who feels women look better a bit on the chubby side, but I can't imagine ever telling someone who had lost a load of weight that they looked better fat. My opinion is irrelevant, especially compared to how much better they feel about themselves.
  • Naywifey07
    Naywifey07 Posts: 74 Member
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    So many ppl with so many different opinions. Well to tell you the truth (in my opinion) some ppl does actually look better with weight on them then being skinny. Everyone is not meant to be the same size and be the same way. So I dont think she is jealous or that matter. But on the other hand I would have kept that comment to myself but thats life and thats people who would say whats on their minds no matter what!!
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    Checked your profitle and you are underweight for 5'9". Maybe she has a point.

    ^this, a bit. I know that you are insulted by the mere suggestion that you might be under-weight, but, oh well. You go so far as to brag about "thigh gap" in your profile. Red flag there. Also, that WW has been so effective at teaching you about healthy nutrition. I would argue that, big time. WW has changed a bit in the last few years, but their recommendations killed my health when I was young and didn't know any better. They make big money on helping people lose and gain, lose and gain, lose and gain. I have 3 generations of family members harmed by WW, so I am allowed to have an opinion about them.

    Anyway, you are on your own journey and a BIG congratulations for your success. You should be proud and nothing anyone says should change how your feel about yourself. It would be useful to differentiate between honest advice/concern (which isn't always what you want to hear) and people being jealous/unsupportive. The fact that she had to show your picture around and get other advice about how you looked better heavier tells me that she is jealous or threatened by you. I'd keep a polite professional relationship with her, but don't trust her with personal stuff.
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