An open letter...
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Dear Husband,
Why haven't you called me yet to say good morning? Thanks for leaving your dirty socks on the living room floor. I can't wait to come home and clean the mess up! Yay.
Love,
Your baby mamma
LMFAO! WORD - ARE WE WITH THE SAME MAN?
oh gosh - THE SOCKS in the living room!!! I want to KILL him! Socks EVERYWHERE! PICK UP THE FREAKING SOCKS!!!! :explode:
My fiance does that too!!! it's not like he can't throw them across the room, hit the basement stairs and let them tumble down to land RIGHT NEXT TO THE WASHER! no, he leaves them either on the couch next to him or on the floor in the living room...0 -
Dear internet stalker(s) -yes I know who they are
You seriously have nothing better to do then comment on every status that I comment on, of our "mutual friends" on Facebook:laugh: ?! Just so what. . . I know your there, because truth be told I really couldn't careless what you look like or what someone of your stature has to say about anything especially in regards to me or my life because we are all just peachy. I am NOT your friend on FACEBOOK because I don't want to deal with your immaturity and teenage drama b.s. just leave me alone already crazy person. If I am not your friend in "real life" I'm certainly NOT gonna be your friend on facebook, for that very reason. . . you haven't grown up and you are a ****ty person.
You come off lately as very stalker-ish and obsessed for whatever reason . . in all actuality your making yourself look very desperate, jealous and crazy. You are the very reason my facebook profile is PRIVATE!
Please do us all a favor and get a friggen life already. . . the only person your dis-crediting is yourself and noooooo no matter how many times you tell people you've "changed" "mellowed out" "grew up" or whatever. . . your frieken full of it. I don't know that it's possible that you will ever grow up. The only person who looks and sounds fake as crap is you, you see, I don't talk a whole mess on people then go pretend to be their friend to get what I want. . . and then turn around and talk mad crap on that person again after I've gotten what I wanted from them, THAT right there my friends is a "fake" person and I wish so badly I could tell these dumb girls who believe that this person hasn't done this to you behind your back and still is doing this to you behind your back, because my husband tells me alllllll about the laughs and what is said, your equally as immature and stupid for falling into this crazy chicks drama, and trust me your gonna get burned too, eventually. Drama fuels that fire!
Grow up already! I can't believe you don't realize how pathetic you look:noway:
Sincerely- *Astonished Annie*
Oh and one more thing
Dear person who thinks you can trust anyone and that stupid things don't get back to me. They always do, I'm really alot smarter then people think. It's my secret weapon.
BE CAREFUL there's some shi**y people pretending to be your friend for all the wrong reasons!!
Thanks *The truth hurts Thea*
I HATE that! Why do people snoop their friends' friends' status? Creepy much?0 -
Dr Mr. (Will) Smith,
Please don't take this wrong. I mean no ill by it. I have loved you for decades. You were the first to understand my parents just didn't understand. You made that courageous move to live with Uncle Phil in California even though we know you were scared. You saved our planet from aliens and the wild west from the evil doctor. You have given us so much and asked for nothing (more than price of admissions, taxes and fees). So understand this is hard to say, you being such a love in my life.
I'll want to snatch your daughter up by her hair and whip her back and forth if I hear that song many more times.
k?thx!bye
What song? LOL0 -
Dear internet stalker(s) -yes I know who they are
You seriously have nothing better to do then comment on every status that I comment on, of our "mutual friends" on Facebook:laugh: ?! Just so what. . . I know your there, because truth be told I really couldn't careless what you look like or what someone of your stature has to say about anything especially in regards to me or my life because we are all just peachy. I am NOT your friend on FACEBOOK because I don't want to deal with your immaturity and teenage drama b.s. just leave me alone already crazy person. If I am not your friend in "real life" I'm certainly NOT gonna be your friend on facebook, for that very reason. . . you haven't grown up and you are a ****ty person.
You come off lately as very stalker-ish and obsessed for whatever reason . . in all actuality your making yourself look very desperate, jealous and crazy. You are the very reason my facebook profile is PRIVATE!
Please do us all a favor and get a friggen life already. . . the only person your dis-crediting is yourself and noooooo no matter how many times you tell people you've "changed" "mellowed out" "grew up" or whatever. . . your frieken full of it. I don't know that it's possible that you will ever grow up. The only person who looks and sounds fake as crap is you, you see, I don't talk a whole mess on people then go pretend to be their friend to get what I want. . . and then turn around and talk mad crap on that person again after I've gotten what I wanted from them, THAT right there my friends is a "fake" person and I wish so badly I could tell these dumb girls who believe that this person hasn't done this to you behind your back and still is doing this to you behind your back, because my husband tells me alllllll about the laughs and what is said, your equally as immature and stupid for falling into this crazy chicks drama, and trust me your gonna get burned too, eventually. Drama fuels that fire!
Grow up already! I can't believe you don't realize how pathetic you look:noway:
Sincerely- *Astonished Annie*
Oh and one more thing
Dear person who thinks you can trust anyone and that stupid things don't get back to me. They always do, I'm really alot smarter then people think. It's my secret weapon.
BE CAREFUL there's some shi**y people pretending to be your friend for all the wrong reasons!!
Thanks *The truth hurts Thea*
I HATE that! Why do people snoop their friends' friends' status? Creepy much?
RIGHT?! It's ridiculous and childish!0 -
Loving this topic...you all are so funny...
To my dear 10 year old daughter,
No I will not get you a cell phone...And please stop pointing out "Hot Guys" to me, your way to young to notice these things.
Love,
Your concerned mother who thinks your growing up too fast.
To my dear 19 year old daughter,
Your in college now, just doing enough to get by is no longer good enough! Quit waiting till the last minute to do your homework.
Love Mom0 -
Dear person who started this,
I was just contemplating whether or not I wanted to go work out and stalling by reading this. Even though it has nothing to do with working out it has gotten me to laugh and given me the extra motivation I need to get off my *kitten* and go work out! So thank you!
Love,
Tired soul that worked for 12 hours today but would like to lose 20 lbs0 -
Dear Family,
I am at work. As you know the people of this large metropolitan city pay me to provide a service that keeps them fairly safe. My 24 year old daughter, I know your a Raiders fan, you don't have to call me every time you feel the urge to scream "Raiders Rule," 22 year old son, yes I paid you're car insurance, 18 year-old, I don't know where your portable dvd player is--I didn't know 30 minutes ago and I don't know now, 11 year old son, you have a mother, I haven't picked up the other 4 calls, I'm not picking this one up either, ask you're Mom if you can spend the night at your friends house because I know that's what you want to ask--most importantly, Honey, your keys are on the counter by the toaster, your wallet is under the recliner--no I don't know how it got there, check with 22 year old daughter about your debit card 'cause she has a history, and I'll be home by 2am, like I've been every night that I've worked over the past 20 years. Now, since these people are paying me and I use that money to pay the phone bill you people insist on inflating, I must get back to work. Yes I know I'm posting on mfp while I'm at work, but I needed a moment.0 -
Dear Boss,
Why couldn't you hire somebody competent instead of the incomptetent, lazy, idiotic twit that you did. She spends most of the day on facebook and the rest of it whinging to me. Then when she doesn't get her work done (from being on Facebook) you give it to me. I am sick of always cleaning up her messes. Please hire somebody who will actually do their job. This is getting ridiculous. Why oh why do you allow this to continue AND also continually let her have days off so she can go to the city to get drunk and dance? Do you not care that your business is falling apart?
Sincerely, I need a raise!
Dear Me,
Please just lets get happy and do this for you. We know that you need to lose weight and be healthy. So please - just suck it up and go for it. You can do this. You just need to get into a habit of it. I know you want to eat that chocolate and those chips - but don't. Don't even buy them. They're a waste of money AND a waste of your body. You deserve better than this.
Sincerely,
Trying to get determined.0 -
Dear Family,
I am at work. As you know the people of this large metropolitan city pay me to provide a service that keeps them fairly safe. My 24 year old daughter, I know your a Raiders fan, you don't have to call me every time you feel the urge to scream "Raiders Rule," 22 year old son, yes I paid you're car insurance, 18 year-old, I don't know where your portable dvd player is--I didn't know 30 minutes ago and I don't know now, 11 year old son, you have a mother, I haven't picked up the other 4 calls, I'm not picking this one up either, ask you're Mom if you can spend the night at your friends house because I know that's what you want to ask--most importantly, Honey, your keys are on the counter by the toaster, your wallet is under the recliner--no I don't know how it got there, check with 22 year old daughter about your debit card 'cause she has a history, and I'll be home by 2am, like I've been every night that I've worked over the past 20 years. Now, since these people are paying me and I use that money to pay the phone bill you people insist on inflating, I must get back to work. Yes I know I'm posting on mfp while I'm at work, but I needed a moment.
RAIDERS RULE!!!!0 -
Dr Mr. (Will) Smith,
Please don't take this wrong. I mean no ill by it. I have loved you for decades. You were the first to understand my parents just didn't understand. You made that courageous move to live with Uncle Phil in California even though we know you were scared. You saved our planet from aliens and the wild west from the evil doctor. You have given us so much and asked for nothing (more than price of admissions, taxes and fees). So understand this is hard to say, you being such a love in my life.
I'll want to snatch your daughter up by her hair and whip her back and forth if I hear that song many more times.
k?thx!bye
What song? LOL
I Whip My Hair Back and Forth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U
arggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh0 -
Dear Family,
I am at work. As you know the people of this large metropolitan city pay me to provide a service that keeps them fairly safe. My 24 year old daughter, I know your a Raiders fan, you don't have to call me every time you feel the urge to scream "Raiders Rule," 22 year old son, yes I paid you're car insurance, 18 year-old, I don't know where your portable dvd player is--I didn't know 30 minutes ago and I don't know now, 11 year old son, you have a mother, I haven't picked up the other 4 calls, I'm not picking this one up either, ask you're Mom if you can spend the night at your friends house because I know that's what you want to ask--most importantly, Honey, your keys are on the counter by the toaster, your wallet is under the recliner--no I don't know how it got there, check with 22 year old daughter about your debit card 'cause she has a history, and I'll be home by 2am, like I've been every night that I've worked over the past 20 years. Now, since these people are paying me and I use that money to pay the phone bill you people insist on inflating, I must get back to work. Yes I know I'm posting on mfp while I'm at work, but I needed a moment.
ahahahahahahahahaha
someone over mated!!!!0 -
ahahahahahahahahaha
someone over mated!!!!
Over mated. bwhahaha I'll have to remember that one!0 -
Dear 2nd creepy guy at the gym. I would appreciate it if you didn't look inside my car, even though you have a nicer one. I know it's 1993 piece of crap Subaru, but I love it. Thanks.
The Irritated Girl On The Treadmill0 -
Dr Mr. (Will) Smith,
Please don't take this wrong. I mean no ill by it. I have loved you for decades. You were the first to understand my parents just didn't understand. You made that courageous move to live with Uncle Phil in California even though we know you were scared. You saved our planet from aliens and the wild west from the evil doctor. You have given us so much and asked for nothing (more than price of admissions, taxes and fees). So understand this is hard to say, you being such a love in my life.
I'll want to snatch your daughter up by her hair and whip her back and forth if I hear that song many more times.
k?thx!bye
What song? LOL
I Whip My Hair Back and Forthhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U
arggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I honestly don't see anything wrong with that song, especially if you are a 13 year old girl. I don't really like the video, but it's about having fun. Crazy white girl. hahaha0 -
Dear Co-workers
Your lunches smell delicious, please stop eating them and have a turkey sandwich and a Greek yogurt like me.... Thanks
Sincerely
Jealous turkey breath0 -
Dear deviantART,
I AM NOT A SPAMMER!!!! Yes, I know I've uploaded a hell of a lot today, but that's because I had to totally start over with a new account and I had a LOT on my old one.
Please understand that I'm not spamming the stupid "hey come to this website and buy my <insert spamming website and item here>; but I am trying to thank people for watching/favoriting and also trying to credit stockers!!
Much love,
Frustrated deviant.
Dear Dr,
You are a collossal tool.
That is all.
Yours,
Annoyed patient that wishes you would remove your head from your buttocks.
Dear Creeper,
It's your fault I had to start over again with deviantART because you won't quit following me, hounding me and generally making a pain of yourself.
Yes, we were once friends. No, we are not now. You know why.
Kindly stop thinking that everything I do with my life needs to involve you in some way. It doesn't.
You are a creepy little weirdo that I wish I'd never met.
Thanks,
Irked by your very existance.
WOW I feel better now :laugh:0 -
Dear Ms. Kitty, my adorable old cat:
Why oh why must you start hacking up that hairball at 5 am every morning? I try to avoid listening to your hacking...just to get up...stepping in it of course...curse you for a minute then call you to come back to bed with me....UGH! Cats! :noway:
Gotta love em.....0 -
Dear Weight,
We've had some good times together, you and me. We have enjoyed all the spoils that life has to offer, and it's been a fun ride. But the time has come for us to part ways. I know your gonna wanna hang on and cling to me, but it's ok to let go. I'll be fine. Please go willingly, because you don't have a say anymore.
Warmest regards and adios!!!
The new me
Good one! 0 -
To my super-wonderful husband,
I love you terribly. You're a great friend, confidante, companion and soul mate. You work very hard to take care of our family and our home and you are a great daddy to our toddler.
That being said....please, please, please do something to sweep me off my feet again. A surprise date night, a bouquet of flowers, anything. I know that your job has you traveling the state and working crazy hours but I need to know that you occasionally think about me. After 10 years of marriage I know that I am important to you, but I need you to show me occasionally.
With love,
Your wife 0 -
To my dear 32 year old son
I am so sorry your marriage didn't work out but GET OVER IT!! It has been 10 years. Time to move on or out.
Love MOM0
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