Would you date someone overweight?

Far from being opposed to dating someone who is overweight, I really, really wish I could find overweight people (and in fact, all people) attractive. I genuinely wish I had more control over what I am sexually attracted to. One of my good friends is someone who is a soul mate candidate, and while we are both dating other people, there was a time where we would have gotten together except that I couldn't make myself see him as attractive, and not for lack of trying to force my mind to see him that way.

Similarly, I think it's both laughable and sad that I can't seem to not feel my legs are gross if I don't shave them. I think it's a sexist beauty standard, a product of consumer culture I really don't want to buy into, but I just cannot force myself to feel any differently. Sometimes I waffle back and forth in whether or not I shave, based on whether feeling fed up with arbitrary beauty standards or fed up with feeling ugly is winning. But while I can force myself to not shave my legs as a political statement and just put up with feeling gross, and maybe over time feel gross less and less, I can't apply this strategy to romantic relationships with other human beings -- forcing myself to date people I don't find attractive and hoping one day I will.

So yeah, sometimes people who don't find entire groups of people attractive DO think it's terrible and are really torn up about it. But I also just don't know how to change it.

I am currently dating someone that is overweight. We were both overweight when I started dating her. She has gotten bigger and I have gotten smaller. She is still pretty and we have fun together. But the problem is, I want to eat healthier and she does not. I want to walk faster or even run, and she wants to walk slower. So, I have been going to the gym by myself. Now, she is asking how many hot girls are there and its like she is not trusting me now. So, this is not going very well. With that being said, if you have things in common and are attacted then it should not matter.

Who cares??

No.... I lead a active lifestyle and we probably wouldn't have anything in common

I've heard this from multiple guys and I always feel really conflicted. I'm a bigger girl but I live a very active lifestyle..

lol yea because overweight/fat people cannot be active ....how silly

Just because someone is overweight doesn't mean they don't live an active lifestyle.

What a ridiculous statement and assumption to make.

It's not the same thing. A long bike ride for me is 100 miles; a long bike ride for an overweight person is probably a lot less (and at a slower speed). If I'm in a competitive sports league, an overweight person couldn't compete at the same level. If I wanted to go rock climbing, the overweight person couldn't join me. I could go on, but the point is that no matter how "active" said person is, they are still going to have physical limitations that a healthier person wouldn't.

That said, I'm in love with someone who's overweight and wouldn't trade her for anything (or anyone). I know a relationship between a fit person and a less fit person can work. Still, "I'm overweight and live an active lifestyle" is garbage, because it's just not the same. Active for a heavy person is not the same thing as active for a fit person.

Well said. I totally agree.

Simple put, yes, yes I would!

i'm more of an eyes and smile person so yes i could.

but it would help a lot if they were not a complete stranger to fitness and at least attempting to eat well

as a side topic: i seem to see a lot more relatively in shape women with overweight men then i do the oppostie, whats up with that?

Where I live, there isn't much choice. :sad:

Sure!!!!

omg i hate saying no especially since i was so overweight once in my life..... but i believe if i did i would get fat again.. i think if he was trying going to the gym maybe i would.. but i dont think i would ... i feel so bad saying this:(

I do try to look at the individual's inner qualities because I realize that I'm far from perfect myself. That said, if I really cared for this person, I'd encourage her to become more active and to choose healthier food options. For the most part, being overweight can be hazardous to one's health and at least from a health standpoint, you'd try to encourage that person to become more fit. It would be hard to sustain a relationship with someone who is constantly getting sick, going to the ER, etc but refusing to do anything about it.

I would date anyone I found attractive. I have found several people of several body types attractive. It matters to me that we are compatible. Intellect far outweighs body type. Someone with extra pounds can lift you up while someone with 5% body fat can bring you down. To say that you wouldn't date someone because of their weight is like saying you dislike a state because of the grass growing at the border.

It depends on how overweight and what kind of lifestyle they live. A few extra pounds I'm ok with if there is attraction there. However, I would want that person to have similar interests in fitness.

Overweight, yes.

Morbidly obese, he'd have to be extra brilliant in other ways.

I already am. And will eventually marry him. lol.

depends on the person.