WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2014

Good evening Lovelies,

Wow, many of us have had a difficult time with our Mothers, as well as grief. I just started a book by Louise Hay called "You Can Heal Your Heart". I have read a little of it. I turned to the chapter on losing a pet and cried all over my yoga mat this morning! This book deals with all kinds of loss, not just death, but also divorce, jobs, friendships.

Sandy, I was fortunate too in that I had a wonderful Grandmother who helped to raise me. God makes up for some of things, I had her as well as some great role models growing up.

Sylvia, you are one strong lady and a great Mom. Thanks for the daily joke.

Margaret, Hugs.

Cynthia, hope you get some rest tonight.

Welcome new ladies.

Hugs to all, I think we all can use some ( ( (HUGS) ) ).

Cindy in OK

Hi, all--

I read through a few posts, but didn't really get a handle on what this thread is for, so I'm just going to dive in.
I turn 50 on May 1st, so I'm almost eligible to join the elite.

I just joined the site 4/9, but it is soooo not my first time dieting. It IS my first time tracking my food, though. I thought it was going to be a pain in the butt but it's not as much of a hassle as I feared.

I live in Southern California in the very hot desert. (121 last summer, but it's gotten to 126 before.)
(We were not touched by winter woes, obviously)

Nice to meet you.

1GirlRiot - we don't have a particular theme or topic, unless you'd consider it good-natured support and caring concern for each other. We're all just of an age with the common goal of weight loss and healthful living.....and we like to talk....a LOT!! :laugh: :laugh:

I've previously said it is like a giant kitchen table where we each come and go as we are able. While a number of gals have been here a long time, not everyone has, so just jump in anytime. Some people give detailed replies, others (like me, most of the time) respond more generally.

If you sign off with your first name and where you live, we'll see who is in your neighborhood. Welcome! We'll look forward to getting to know you.

Gail, metro ATL

Hi all,

We're having beautiful days lately...At least to me. I love it when it's in the upper 80's and hate being cold.

Tomorrow it will be one year since my mom died. It's hard, but we know she's in heaven and that makes it better. Reading about everyone who has had a troublesome life with their parent saddens me. Mom and I had our moments...especially when I was a teenager...but never anything resembling the things I am reading about. How very sad!

Barbie, I love the Joanne Fluke books. I've read all of them I think.

Next week (on Easter) dh and I will go to Tucson to see my dad. He is at my sister's right now. I don't think he wanted to be home this month. Too many memories. On the way there and back, we will stop in Yuma to see my son and family. They are expecting their baby (boy) on May 1st. Getting close.

Gotta go. My favorite two teams are playing each other...the Padres and the Tigers. It's win-win for me.

Eileen near sunny, beautiful San Diego

No time to read...just bumping. Love ya. And further, we're getting little toddler for the weekend. So, who knows how much I can get on this thread.

Renny

Bumping to stake my place.

Jill and Meg -- so happy you got to meet each other. Meg, let us know your Colorado dates, so I can plan to be in town to greet you!

Rori in the Colorado Foothills

Katla – hope you and hubby get over the tummy upset! :noway:

Barb – we have a park hiking program here too; no prizes – but I am looking into signing up too. – but I can’t bring Levi – no dogs in the parks…:indifferent:
.
Brenda – Wow excellent job, I’m not a runner but how cool for you.

1 girl riot – we are just a group of supportive ladies, sharing our ups and downs virtually -- Welcome:drinker:

Sylvia – Love your shirt rules! :laugh:

So worked in the yard all afternoon - planned on working from 1:30-3:30 Looked at my watch at 5:30 and was opps ! guess I need to fix dinner. Got both hedges trimmed, and weeded a ton - still more to do; but great headway! Will try to put in a few hours tomorrow too.

So I have this nice guest room; and am only 50 minutes outside of San Francisco - right on the rapid transit line, any one headed to California? 20 minutes from the Livermore Valley wineries ..

So I am thinking about doing more meal planning... I sometimes plan a particular menu - usually if I am having company, but often just wing it. That worked fine when I wasn't trying to eat healthy but now, it can be difficult. Do you all plan ahead? if so how far? a week? 2-3 days? more?

I was lurking on some other threads and there was one asking about what you missed, and a lot of folks have given up everything fun - no desserts/sweets, no pasta, rice, chips or potatoes, no booze..... and I just fit all the things I love in - smaller quantity but still there... but it made me think do I miss anything from the past eating style to the current eating style and I think I miss the mindless eating, that sounds kinda weird but there was/is something about just stopping for a "treat (could be anything)" and not having to decide if it fits in...Not giving up; not really wigged about it at all; just made me think.

Smiles Kim in N. CAL

Eileen, I am one of those like you. My Mom was wonderful, my parents were wonderful. My childhood was wonderful. My relationship with my siblings today is wonderful. Mom died about 2 1/2 years ago and it was just like yesterday. I still miss her very much. I talk to her a lot and still gain a lot of strength from her. I am so proud of how even her great grandchildren loved, adored and admired her so much. She will always have an impact on their lives growing up and therefore will affect their own children. That's the way a Mom should be.

We got a call today that I thought we would never get. Our ex son in law called. I dearly loved him when Michelle was married to him but he was a bit of a restless soul, came into the marriage with A LOT of baggage. I really never even considered how my daughter divorcing her husband would make me feel. Yes, I was very hurt because of him cheating on her but I still lost a son in law that I loved. He returned that love and my Mother meant the world to him. He was in the local National Guard when he lived here and although he moved up to the opposite end of the state he remained in the guard here in town. So he comes down here for his guard duties often. So he was in town today, getting ready to go to Fort Campbell for the weekend. He served in Iraq for 2 tours and the National Guard gave him a plaque to give to Michelle for her support of him during his tours. It has her married name on it. She took back her maiden name since they had no children. Well I won't put here what all she said he could do with it. I'm sure she toned it down for me though. But since she doesn't want the plaque I will take it. I won't display it but I will put it in my cedar chest. When he was getting ready for his first deployment, they had their readiness training around Philadelphia. At the end right before they were to fly out they gave the men a long weekend off so they could fly home and see their families. Dan didn't want to do that. He said he would be wasting a lot of time flying and then have to divide himself up many ways in order to see everyone so he wanted Michelle to go to him. And he also requested me to come with her. He wanted to have my support before he left. He even made me second beneficiary if he were killed over there. So I will call him and get this plaque. I just have to make sure that she is not here. Sunday is our time for her to be with us so I am sure if I take this it might alter that time. It felt so bad during the final divorce hearing. Michelle wanted us to go with her. He of course had to come down for it. We saw him in the lobby and in keeping in the frame of staying as Michelle's parents, we didn't talk to him. I wanted to. I wanted to go hug him and cry with him. He doesn't have a Mom, she ran over his Dad and killed him and was in prison. She is out now but he doesn't have anything to do with her. He considers two of his foster Moms and me to be his Moms. He is married now so I hope he has a good relationship wit his mother in law. He married the girl that he had a one night stand with when he was in college and home for a weekend. They got a baby from this weekend and he grudgingly paid child support. When his daughter was 11 she wanted to know about her Dad so her Mom allowed her daughter to have a supervised visit in a zoo with ex SIL. Well that kindled the romance back up with her and Dan cheated on Michelle with her and his several trips up o see his daughter. As soon as Michelle asked for a divorce, he was headed back up there and immediately moved in with her and they married shortly after. They now have a son. He seems like a very loving father but a know that pictures can be decieving. I still wonder if he is as immature as he was before with spending, speeding and holding a job. He was always in trouble with the law, he always wanted to be every profession and constantly changing jobs to 'find himself'.

Joyce, Indiana

Good morning ladies

I'm up and at work. That's about as good as it's going to get today!

Just needed to add a bit about my own mum. She died nine years ago next month and I miss her all the time. We didn't have a good relationship when I was growing up. She was a complex women who needed everything to be centred around her. When I was sixteen she pushed me into marriage with a man of 30 who I barely knew. It was only later that I found out that she had been having an affair with him for over a year and was actual pregnant by him at my wedding (she lost the baby soon after). It all sounds terribly 'Jeremy Kyle', but we really weren't like that. My mum just needed all focus to be on her and needed to be adored.

I will never be my mother!

And now I will do some work and wish you all a wonderful and productive day. Or ... a wonderful and unproductive, but restful day!

Love to all.
Amanda x

Good morning beautiful ladies:flowerforyou:

Just popping in to wish everyone a wonderful weekend:flowerforyou: ! I`m taking a break from the computer this weekend:bigsmile: !

Drink your water:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: and log your food!!!

Hugs,
DeeDee in gorgeous NC:glasses:

Good Morning,

Looks like the last of our beautiful days for a while. I'd love to get out for a nice, long morning walk but I'm pretty sure I won't be getting my child on board so it's looking like the treadmill. Technically an "off day" but I think a brisk, mind clearing walk is always a good thing.

It also might make up for some of my "sins" from yesterday. I couldn't get Aaron interested in wanting to do anything until I mentioned the neighbored "bar" to eat pizza and throw some darts. He jumped all over that suggestion so we walked (about 3/4 mile each way). Point is I ate some junky food I don't normally eat but didn't get too crazy.

Margaret, you're very correct, there is no timetable on grief and I have to keep reminding myself that I'm in the beginning stages of this process. Some days I'm "fine", other days I just don't want to be bothered with anyone or anything, other days I'm sad. Overall, I have a pretty good grip on things and manage to keep life in perspective but it doesn't change the fact that some things just don't "go away". Going through some of my mom's things this week shook things up also.

Been enjoying reading about everyone's adventures and activities and feeling empathetic for those hitting the bumps/potholes in the road of life. After reading all these "mom stories" is it any wonder many of us battle with food and self esteem. No rewind buttons so we can all just keep doing the best we can and live each day.

Have an old lady cat pestering me for food so off I go. Have a great day!

xo-Gloria in Metro Detroit

Good Morning,

Enjoyed the phenomenal woman poem.

Deedee will miss you.:drinker:

Cindy thank you for the hug.

Meg so sorry about your cousin. Hard to see him not improving.:flowerforyou:

Vicki thank you for your hugs for my son and me.

Katla thank you for your kind thoughts.

Kathrine I am picturing your blue oatmeal. I imagine it tasted good, but its appearance had something to be desired.

Sandy loved your NSV.

Sylvia I am glad you had that healing moment with your mother. When I look back at my parents I feel the hurt and the strength they passed onto me. Now as an adult I somewhere in there realized I had to become my own parent. In doing so I had to give them and myself compassion for our mistakes.

Kim thank you for your support. I am recognizing those points in my life where grief became stuck and the consequences that ensued. I cannot go back only surround those moments in love and take the knowledge with me into today. So I can build a better today.

Heather I am beginning to understand what you mean when you talk about being kind to yourself with compassion. One of the things I am noticing is it takes the sting out of blame. When the blame is gone it removes being a victim. I accept the losses for what they are and do not feel entitled to have things happen the way I want. I learned the person who needs to rescue me is me by the choices I make.

Today I will spend time again with another friend in enjoying a shop specializing in Easter decorations just for fun, so I wake up to a healthier tomorrow.

2014 word: contentment

Margaret

Hi Ladies!
I had a very hectic work week. Re-examined some family issues! :frown:

I thought I would catch up this morning but found you had continued on..so I'll have to catch up tomorrow evening from Page 16!

I have my oldest GD this weekend after attending a hat and tea party today for my SIL after cleaning my house up while washing clothes.:sad: So I'll be running around like chicken with its head cut off! I ought to lose at least a pound by the end of the day! Watch out Grandmallie I might catch up with you today!:laugh:

Catch up with you later! Enjoy your Saturday!:flowerforyou:

Meg and Jill: Congratulations! I’m so glad you were able to have brunch and enjoyed yourselves. Pictures would have been nice, but your telling about it is good enough for me. :flowerforyou: Putting your DD in my prayers. I hope her situation is not as bad as she seems to fear. :flowerforyou:

Barb in EWV: Your county parks program sounds wonderful. I hope you enjoy every minute of your walks. They’ll help you feel better and eventually be healthier.:flowerforyou:

Alison: Good news that your DH is logging the miles and getting healthier. Maybe his attitude will improve along with his health. Nice of you to grannysit so DB and DSIL can have a night out and some fun.:flowerforyou:

1GirlRiot: Welcome.:flowerforyou:

Joyce: We take our cans and bottles to the Humane Society as part of an ongoing fundraiser. They’re worth about a nickel each. DH started this practice because he hates taking them back to the stores for to get the deposits back. Now we’re feeling good about helping the animals. Your daughter’s ex sounds like a troubled soul. I hope he is doing a better job with his second marriage and your daughter finds someone who will be faithful.:flowerforyou:

Barbie: Your line dance wedding celebration sounds fun and touching. I guess I missed important information about Jake. I’m glad to hear that he is feeling better and sorry about the night pain. I am always in awe of all the exercise and dancing you do. :flowerforyou:

Eileen in San Diego: I hope you have a great visit with your sister, father, and son.:flowerforyou:

Renny: Enjoy your toddler. When I am with DGD I take her on long walks and rest while she’s napping.:flowerforyou:

Sylvia: Congratulations on the lovely dinner and successful shirt shopping.:flowerforyou:

Sue in TN: I’m happy that you had a nice day going to yard sales. :flowerforyou:

Kim in N. Cal: You may have takers on your guest room. It will be fun to find out. We usually go east to CO or N to the Seattle area to visit our kids. I haven’t done a lot of advance meal planning, and we’ve pretty much eaten what we always did but not nearly as much. Between us, we have a substantial list of foods we have had to avoid for years. Our main strategy is portion control, so we weigh & measure everything. We have made changes to eliminate unhealthy calories. We eliminated chips and most crackers. We’ve switched to dry toast and have learned to like it. We eat considerably less fried food, although it is occasionally on the menu. We have more homemade soups, (not canned,) and salads than before. I’m sure there are others who are detailed planners here. Perhaps they can offer suggestions.:flowerforyou:

Cynthia: Congratulations on a reaching an important milestone!:drinker: :flowerforyou:

Amanda: Your mom and mine seem to have been approximate opposites. Mine was shy, frigid and had no sense of self worth, but I always knew she loved me. I could never understand her and always thought she was beautiful and talented. I will never be my mother, either.:flowerforyou:

Heather: I love hearing about your children and grandchildren. I’m happy you had such a good time.:flowerforyou:

Simbikat: I love the poem. Thanks for sharing.
:flowerforyou:

We have a beautiful, breezy and sunshiny day outside, and a planned dinner with our sailing friends this evening. I want to soak in some Vitamin D and enjoy what ever we decide to do.

Katla in gorgeous, breezy & sunny NW Oregon

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison


April Goals:

1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Move more: cardio at least 3 days a week and strength training when able.
3. Find a way to have fun at least once every day.
4. Water: Pay attention to water intake and drink frequently during the day.

Bump to find my place. This group seems to move so fast and I must leave to go to cantata rehearsal. Sue in SD