Your Greatest Accomplishment

This was a week before my c-section with my 2nd son in 2009. And this was after having lost 135 lbs. I met my goal weight a week before finding out I was pregnant lol. Talk about a test. But I truly changed my lifestyle.

Hope you can see the pic!

I am 38 and I could say that losing 110 pounds is my greatest accomplishment ......but no. I am living in the middle of my greatest accomplishment right now. I had the courage to leave an abusive marriage, I am raising 2 kids alone, I am back in school full time.....and this has all happened in the last 9 months.

As can be seen in this thread, many people consider whether they have raised children well, or not had children to be an accomplishment. Either way, people do consider that in their accomplishments.

I have had people tell me that they think it is an accomplishment that having grown up in a very abusive childhood, and generationally in my family, that I married an intelligent, kind man. I have been in a happy relationship with him for 16 years (having grown up around only abusive relationships). I have had two daughters. They are good kids. They get along very well with each other and other kids. They are helpful to other children in school that need extra help. They excel in science and creative writing, among other things. Some of that is genetic (they were tested by the school and are advanced in the area of auditory memory and processing to what they said was an unusual degree), and some of it is environment growing up with a Dad that is a scientist and me taking them to Science World weekly and doing science with them everyday because I also studied biology and love it. So, yes, I have had people tell me that is an accomplishment to have come through what I did and to break the cycles of abuse in my family. The first kids in many generations to have not been abused (I am talking about criminal level abuse, and it was the police and district attorney's office that have said this to me as well).

However, my kids being 7 and 9, I am certainly not going to say that is my greatest accomplishment. I am not done yet. And also, I think expecting them to be my greatest accomplishment puts too much pressure on that relationship. My accomplishments need to be my own and not dependent on how well they do in life. But, on an internal, personal level, when I see my kids confident, being children, not having to face the adult things that I had to face as a child, yes, I do feel a personal, internal sense of accomplishment. It is a healing experience. It heals me, as a person, to see that, and to know that I helped contribute to that. And that because I am a parent, I have been doing my job as a parent. So, when people see my children and they come up to me and say, "Good Job!" I do feel thankful. But, I wouldn't go around saying they are my accomplishment. But, there are aspects of this whole process of becoming and being a parent that are personal accomplishments for me. And there are many other things in life that are personal accomplishments of that nature that make me a better person for having faced, and gone through because I had to, and I didn't turn away from what I had to do in life. And I allowed it to contribute to my growth as a person and to my wisdom.

And I understand why people that have had wonderful accomplishments will still say their children are their greatest accomplishment.

Edit to add: I also just want to add that I never would have posted any of this, had this not become a discussion about kids being or not being an accomplishment.

This was a week before my c-section with my 2nd son in 2009. And this was after having lost 135 lbs. I met my goal weight a week before finding out I was pregnant lol. Talk about a test. But I truly changed my lifestyle.

Hope you can see the pic!

Beautiful!

As can be seen in this thread, many people consider whether they have raised children well, or not had children to be an accomplishment. Either way, people do consider that in their accomplishments.

I have had people tell me that they think it is an accomplishment that having grown up in a very abusive childhood, and generationally in my family, that I married an intelligent, kind man. I have been in a happy relationship with him for 16 years (having grown up around only abusive relationships). I have had two daughters. They are good kids. They get along very well with each other and other kids. They are helpful to other children in school that need extra help. They excel in science and creative writing, among other things. Some of that is genetic (they were tested by the school and are advanced in the area of auditory memory and processing to what they said was an unusual degree), and some of it is environment growing up with a Dad that is a scientist and me taking them to Science World weekly and doing science with them everyday because I also studied biology and love it. So, yes, I have had people tell me that is an accomplishment to have come through what I did and to break the cycles of abuse in my family. The first kids in many generations to have not been abused (I am talking about criminal level abuse, and it was the police and district attorney's office that have said this to me as well).

However, my kids being 7 and 9, I am certainly not going to say that is my greatest accomplishment. I am not done yet. And also, I think expecting them to be my greatest accomplishment puts too much pressure on that relationship. My accomplishments need to be my own and not dependent on how well they do in life. But, on an internal, personal level, when I see my kids confident, being children, not having to face the adult things that I had to face as a child, yes, I do feel a personal, internal sense of accomplishment. It is a healing experience. It heals me, as a person, to see that, and to know that I helped contribute to that. And that because I am a parent, I have been doing my job as a parent. So, when people see my children and they come up to me and say, "Good Job!" I do feel thankful. But, I wouldn't go around saying they are my accomplishment. But, there are aspects of this whole process of becoming and being a parent that are personal accomplishments for me. And there are many other things in life that are personal accomplishments of that nature that make me a better person for having faced, and gone through because I had to, and I didn't turn away from what I had to do in life. And I allowed it to contribute to my growth as a person and to my wisdom.

And I understand why people that have had wonderful accomplishments will still say their children are their greatest accomplishment.

Edit to add: I also just want to add that I never would have posted any of this, had this not become a discussion about kids being or not being an accomplishment.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: