Corrupt a Wish

You wish has been granted.
Your fifth cousin twice removed reminds you that he paid for the lottery ticket and picked out the numbers and has photographic evidence proving so and alas the courts find that you actually owe your cousin the lottery winnings as well as court costs and a monetary award his for pain and suffering.

I wish I had season tickets to the Colts.

granted but it is a vespa..

I wish I made a million dollars a month legitimately (not criminally)

I wish I had a motorcycle and knew how to ride it.

Congratulations! Right after finishing all motorcycle lessons, you wanted to ride somewhere to celebrate but rode your way into a huge wreck that got you to the hospital, unable to do anything but survive. This confuses you to no end because you know that you wore your finest motorcycle safety clothes and a helmet. :huh: :brokenheart:
Get Well Soon! :flowerforyou:

I wish I were done with all school and ready to make a bunch of money as a lawyer, and that doctors hadn't said that 70 was my max lifespan on account of weight problems. (Oh, can I wish 2 things?)

Granted, but you are a lawyer in Sudan now, and you have a lot of Sudanese money that doesn't translate to a lot of American money. And Granted, they now told you 65...

I wish I could run as fast as Hussein Bolt...

Granted, but the tabloids have destroyed your reputation.

I wish I could fly.

I wish I made a million dollars a month legitimately (not criminally)

Yay! I hope you don't mind if your neighbors suddenly want to (unevenly) split it with you, leaving you shortchanged.

I wish my dream job as a disability lawyer would bring fame (not just the kind where commercials blare "If you or a loved one took (insert drug) and (suffered in any way), call me NOW!").

granted, but you have to cross through Somali pirate territory to get there and you have a very small and slow boat...

I wish I could go heli-skiing every weekend of the winter

granted, but you don't have a space suit so you die as soon as you leave the atmosphere...

I wish I could read minds...

granted, but your dog has nothing valuable to say...

I wish I was a professional mountain biker

Granted, but it is 72 degrees Celsius... so you are obnoxiously hot all the time...

I wish I invented something that made me rich...

Granted but you can no longer distinguish your own thoughts from someone else's.

I wish I can speak to my dog.

(that would be cool, right?)

Great, but s/he won't speak to you, because you got the power after vet day. Ouch!

I wouldn't mind being able to excel in every class and remember the most valuable info without having to take a single word of notes.

Granted... but you are stranded there with no hope of rescue.

I wish I didn't have to work today.

Granted... you got hurt on the job
I wish I had $6 million in my retirement fund

Wish granted, but you died before you could cash in.
I wish I could travel to Paris, France.

Wish granted, but your plane crashed.
I wish I could pay off my student loan in full by the end of this week.

Granted but your education never gets you a decent job.


I wish I was a leader

Granted, but you are in charge of the Boston Marathon, and you cannot participate

I wish I could play blues harmonica

Granted but it only lasted ten seconds.

I wish I can fall in love for the first time.

I don't know who that is!! Lol.

Granted but you must first become broke.

I wish I could meet the devil; I have a lot of questions to ask him.