Is Partying Worth It?

IMO partying IS worth it...I am 45 and still like to party!

malavika413 wrote: »

MonicaA2013 wrote: »

malavika413 wrote: »

Hey y'all. I'm just asking a question to the peanut gallery, trying to get a variety of opinions.

I'm nearly 20 and a college student. I have a lot of friends that like to party on the weekends (dorm parties, since there's no greek life at my school), and they always invite me. I've never gone, but I'm very curious. However, there are a few reasons that I've held back. I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life, so I don't know how I'd react to it. I don't know what to wear. I have a boyfriend that's very against alcohol and partying, and I'd either have to go behind his back or go knowing he'd be worried about me and my safety. Also, most girls go to parties to flirt with guys, which would dismay my boyfriend. I'm not attractive, so no one would hit on me, but still.

Is it worth going to a college party at least once? My friends really want me to go and experience it, and I am curious. What do you think?

OK... so what you do is dress casual and invite BF with you. If he decides not to go then you can go with the understanding that he can stop in anytime he likes to make sure you are ok. And that if you feel uncomfortable then you will call him and ask that he pick you up.
As for Drinking.... I don't think it would be the best idea to start drinking in that situation. If you decide you want to try alcohol do it in your own space with someone who can help you if anything goes wrong. I understand wanting to make BF happy and all but you also must think of yourself. Don't hold yourself back from experiences for someone else's happiness. Go or don't but make the choice for yourself not others. GOOD LUCK

I'd invite him along, but boys don't typically attend these parties unless they're the hosts or friends of the guys hosting. I go to a school with single-sex dorms, so these parties revolve around "girls allowed, boys stay out". It sucks.

Seams to me you don't really want to go. If you really wanted to check this atmosphere out you would make sure that everyone would be OK with whatever the situation came to be. You have been given SEVERAL ways of making this a great experience for yourself and you have come up with a reason that it wont work. So i would say don't do anything at all for the rest of your life unless "SOMEONE" gives you their approval. Then later in life you can blame everything on someone else if you end up not happy. I know this is harsh but it is what i see down the road for you if you continue on this path. Step out on your own or sit home and do nothing unless given permission. Best of Luck to you in your choices.

I suggest you try alcohol somewhere safe (like at home or with a small group of friends) first so you won't be pressured into drinking too much or at all at the party. Your boyfriend should learn to trust you and you should be able to talk to him too. Nevertheless, it's your choice if you want to.

Background: I'm 21 and the legal drinking age here (Australia) is 18.

I've never been to a party where people were getting drunk, or a club, out of lack of interest mainly. A lot of people don't really understand and insist I have to come clubbing with them and get drunk "at least once", "just to try it out", etc. I've always just laughed and politely declined. I don't really like loud music or crowded parties to begin with and being drunk really doesn't appeal to me at all!

While I have a glass of wine with dinner sometimes, and I very much like the taste of Baileys, I've never been drunk before. As a post-exam celebration I decided to get a bit tipsy at a friend's place, just me, her and her boyfriend, mainly to satisfy curiosity! I ate first, drank heaps of water and took it slowly and did get a bit tipsy but I don't really think it was as great as people make out XD We went out to a bar for a couple of hours and that was quite fun. I'm glad I chose to do it with a trusted friend at her place and, eventually, a more sedate bar, rather than a club or a party! If you're nervous about the effects of alcohol I would recommend either trying it slowly with a good friend or even jusy by yourself first to get a feel for how it affects you and have an idea of your limits before going into a new situation.

It's difficult with your boyfriend - in the end, only you can decide your priorities and it depends on a lot of factors, how serious you are, how adamant he is about alcohol, etc! I definitely wouldn't go behind his back - that never works out well and would probably cause an even bigger problem if he found out later that you were doing so - I would have a chat with him about what you want to do and try to find ways to make him more comfortable. If he would be really worried about you, could you reassure him you know about preventing drink spiking, you have plans to get home safely, you won't drink more than a certain amount to start, etc...? Would he go with you if he's that worried? Promise to text him when you're home safe?

As for clothing - I would do what others here suggest, wear something you feel comfortable and well dressed in. If you were going on a date with your boyfriend to someplace nice, what would you wear? You could always wear a big ring on your ring finger and wave it apologetically at people if they seem too interested...xD If your boyfriend feels jealous, I would say that's really his problem; I would ve insulted if my boyfriend didn't trust me! (Provided I wasn't dressed way more provocatively than usual...which I don't do anyway :P)

In the end, I would say go to a party if you want to and just take it very slowly, or test alcohol at home first, and work it out with your boyfriend as you feel appropriate. Good luck!

It's totally worth it! You don't have to drink if you don't want to (I suggest the "empty beer can" trick if you want to blend in while avoiding beverages, or the solo cup of coke without rum ). It's always nice to mingle; if you feel uncomfortable at a particular invite due to shyness, just bring a +1 of a friend you find bubbly/social. If you know the person hosting and don't know anyone else, ask if they know anyone they could introduce you to. Honestly parties helped me make a lot of friends; I was never getting out of hand with it like some people there, but that was totally fine (made me less nervous to chat with everyone!).
Just gauge your comfort level once you're there; you can always leave a party, but if you never go to begin with, you'll never know if you'll have fun. Some parties were not so fun; that didn't stop the awesome ones from being awesome.

If someone else is paying for it.

malavika413 wrote: »

MonicaA2013 wrote: »

malavika413 wrote: »

MonicaA2013 wrote: »

malavika413 wrote: »

Hey y'all. I'm just asking a question to the peanut gallery, trying to get a variety of opinions.

I'm nearly 20 and a college student. I have a lot of friends that like to party on the weekends (dorm parties, since there's no greek life at my school), and they always invite me. I've never gone, but I'm very curious. However, there are a few reasons that I've held back. I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life, so I don't know how I'd react to it. I don't know what to wear. I have a boyfriend that's very against alcohol and partying, and I'd either have to go behind his back or go knowing he'd be worried about me and my safety. Also, most girls go to parties to flirt with guys, which would dismay my boyfriend. I'm not attractive, so no one would hit on me, but still.

Is it worth going to a college party at least once? My friends really want me to go and experience it, and I am curious. What do you think?

OK... so what you do is dress casual and invite BF with you. If he decides not to go then you can go with the understanding that he can stop in anytime he likes to make sure you are ok. And that if you feel uncomfortable then you will call him and ask that he pick you up.
As for Drinking.... I don't think it would be the best idea to start drinking in that situation. If you decide you want to try alcohol do it in your own space with someone who can help you if anything goes wrong. I understand wanting to make BF happy and all but you also must think of yourself. Don't hold yourself back from experiences for someone else's happiness. Go or don't but make the choice for yourself not others. GOOD LUCK

I'd invite him along, but boys don't typically attend these parties unless they're the hosts or friends of the guys hosting. I go to a school with single-sex dorms, so these parties revolve around "girls allowed, boys stay out". It sucks.

Seams to me you don't really want to go. If you really wanted to check this atmosphere out you would make sure that everyone would be OK with whatever the situation came to be. You have been given SEVERAL ways of making this a great experience for yourself and you have come up with a reason that it wont work. So i would say don't do anything at all for the rest of your life unless "SOMEONE" gives you their approval. Then later in life you can blame everything on someone else if you end up not happy. I know this is harsh but it is what i see down the road for you if you continue on this path. Step out on your own or sit home and do nothing unless given permission. Best of Luck to you in your choices.

Wow, that's not very nice. But not everyone in life is nice, I know. What's wrong in seeking approval from those you care about? The fact is, not everyone would be okay with me going to a party. Even if I didn't touch alcohol, the man I love would be very distraught about it. I told him I have plans to go, if he vehemently objects I won't--simple as that. I don't see myself as being 'unhappy' as a result, but rather, I see myself as agreeable and the kind of girl someone would want to commit to long-term.

I understand wanting to be loved and accepted and all that, i have a very loving marriage and we make sure that we respect each other. BUT that doesn't mean that i should be a doormat and just do what ever he wants and not do something i think could be a good experience for me just because he might be uncomfortable with it.

ALSO .... flagging is not meant for something you don't want to hear it is meant for something that is inappropriate for the forums. I was clear that i understood that what i said may be harsh but i was only being honest about what i thought of your situation as you described it. If you don't understand/accept that then that is too bad.

I wish you the best with your future.