Is Partying Worth It?
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I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!0
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HardyGirl4Ever wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »
I'd invite him along, but boys don't typically attend these parties unless they're the hosts or friends of the guys hosting. I go to a school with single-sex dorms, so these parties revolve around "girls allowed, boys stay out". It sucks.
If that's the case, then you don't have to worry about another guy trying to pick you up. You will only have to worry about attracting girls with what you wear.
No, there are plenty of boys at the parties. They just have to be specifically invited by the hosts. I don't think or expect I'll be hit on, that would be very pompous of me.0 -
stefanyy36 wrote: »I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!
yeah, i didn't really drink much until my early 30's. i sort of feel as though i missed out though.
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Hi Malavika,
Using the word party as a verb is usually code for using illicit drugs recreationally and/or misusing prescription drugs for recreational purposes. Drinking alcohol is also included in the verb "party". Why not call the activity exactly what it is? Let's go out and party tonight! or Let's go out and use illicit drugs for recreational purposes and have cocktails and get buzzed too! It's so much lovelier and cleaner and light hearted to say "party".
If asked "do you party" that's usually the case. But a party is a party. When I was a kid I didn't get loaded on drugs and alcohol to celebrate my birthday. But I had a party.
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I feel like as I get older..the recovery time from a night out at bars is sooo much longer now...to the point where I always regret going out drinking the next day0
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stefanyy36 wrote: »I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!
yeah, i didn't really drink much until my early 30's. i sort of feel as though i missed out though.
I'm just sort of afraid of missing out, I guess. I mean, I never played sports as a kid--I feel I missed out on that. I never learned to dance (which is really fun to me)--I missed out on that. I've missed the boat on so many things, I don't want to regret even more...0 -
malavika413 wrote: »stefanyy36 wrote: »I never went to college parties and I don't regret it at all. I didn't even drink until I was 21. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to do those things!
yeah, i didn't really drink much until my early 30's. i sort of feel as though i missed out though.
I'm just sort of afraid of missing out, I guess. I mean, I never played sports as a kid--I feel I missed out on that. I never learned to dance (which is really fun to me)--I missed out on that. I've missed the boat on so many things, I don't want to regret even more...
So go out.0 -
Looking back at the nights out with just my girls, they are by far the best memories I have from my college experience. I spent my first year worrying about what my boyfriend would think if I did this or that, and eventually it just became too tiring to deal with. If it's something you want to experience then you should, there is no need to worry so much about it. If you don't like it you won't go again, and if you do then you are creating memories with your friends. Be who you are and do what you want, your boyfriend will either understand or he won't (and if he doesn't then he needs to calm down a little). College is for building friendships, making memories, and finding out who you are on your own terms, not based on what others want.
and p.s. I have partied in an oversized sweater and legging as well as the typical party outfits…wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident0 -
court_fritch26 wrote: »Looking back at the nights out with just my girls, they are by far the best memories I have from my college experience. I spent my first year worrying about what my boyfriend would think if I did this or that, and eventually it just became too tiring to deal with. If it's something you want to experience then you should, there is no need to worry so much about it. If you don't like it you won't go again, and if you do then you are creating memories with your friends. Be who you are and do what you want, your boyfriend will either understand or he won't (and if he doesn't then he needs to calm down a little). College is for building friendships, making memories, and finding out who you are on your own terms, not based on what others want.
and p.s. I have partied in an oversized sweater and legging as well as the typical party outfits…wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident
Probably my favorite response. Thank you! I think I am worrying too much. BF has already given me his blessing, and I am yearning to have some fun here at college. Here I am, done with homework, with absolutely nothing to do. It's so dull.0 -
I wouldn't say that you have to party at college. But I do think the social aspect of going away to school is an integral part of the college experience. And while I think that should involve an occasional party...it doesn't necessarily have to include alcohol or "hooking up".
I went to a university known as a "party school" (also known for it's basketball and lacrosse teams...and in some years, football). Some weekends I would go to parties, some weekends I would stay in and play Boggle and Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. There were bars on campus which were "18 to enter, 21 to drink" (which was kind of a joke...once you were inside nobody really cared which stamp was on your hand). Sometimes I would drink. Sometimes I just wanted to dance. Some nights I would have one or two drinks...other times one or two too many. Some nights I would meet a boy...perhaps we would kiss...perhaps a bit more. Maybe I was lucky never to be put into a situation I couldn't handle. Maybe I was just careful enough. By my senior year, I was finally old enough to go out and drink legally, but I spent more time just hanging out with friends in our off-campus homes. Sometimes there would be alcohol (or a little weed)...sometimes we'd just cook a nice dinner and watch a movie. In any case, my social life certainly was never centered entirely around going out to bars and parties. But I don't have regrets about my college experience. Graduated with honors...as did people who partied far more and far less than I did.
And we all partied in big baggy sweaters...partly because it was the style in the late 80s-early 90s...but mainly because it was really cold up there. Nobody was trudging through the snow in stilettos and miniskirts.0 -
I wouldn't say that you have to party at college. But I do think the social aspect of going away to school is an integral part of the college experience. And while I think that should involve an occasional party...it doesn't necessarily have to include alcohol or "hooking up".
I went to a university known as a "party school" (also known for it's basketball and lacrosse teams...and in some years, football). Some weekends I would go to parties, some weekends I would stay in and play Boggle and Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. There were bars on campus which were "18 to enter, 21 to drink" (which was kind of a joke...once you were inside nobody really cared which stamp was on your hand). Sometimes I would drink. Sometimes I just wanted to dance. Some nights I would have one or two drinks...other times one or two too many. Some nights I would meet a boy...perhaps we would kiss...perhaps a bit more. Maybe I was lucky never to be put into a situation I couldn't handle. Maybe I was just careful enough. By my senior year, I was finally old enough to go out and drink legally, but I spent more time just hanging out with friends in our off-campus homes. Sometimes there would be alcohol (or a little weed)...sometimes we'd just cook a nice dinner and watch a movie. In any case, my social life certainly was never centered entirely around going out to bars and parties. But I don't have regrets about my college experience. Graduated with honors...as did people who partied far more and far less than I did.
And we all partied in big baggy sweaters...partly because it was the style in the late 80s-early 90s...but mainly because it was really cold up there. Nobody was trudging through the snow in stilettos and miniskirts.
Man, sometimes I wish I could live in the 90s. I don't own heels or any skirt shorter than knee length. But if I showed up in a giant sweater and jeans, my friends would likely laugh. They all rock little sequined dresses and sky-high heels.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »court_fritch26 wrote: »Looking back at the nights out with just my girls, they are by far the best memories I have from my college experience. I spent my first year worrying about what my boyfriend would think if I did this or that, and eventually it just became too tiring to deal with. If it's something you want to experience then you should, there is no need to worry so much about it. If you don't like it you won't go again, and if you do then you are creating memories with your friends. Be who you are and do what you want, your boyfriend will either understand or he won't (and if he doesn't then he needs to calm down a little). College is for building friendships, making memories, and finding out who you are on your own terms, not based on what others want.
and p.s. I have partied in an oversized sweater and legging as well as the typical party outfits…wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident
Probably my favorite response. Thank you! I think I am worrying too much. BF has already given me his blessing, and I am yearning to have some fun here at college. Here I am, done with homework, with absolutely nothing to do. It's so dull.
Listen to this advice. Life is too short to live with regrets. You're supposed to be experiencing life in it's entirety, not holding back because of "what-ifs". You already know inside who you are, and what you want to do. Now use good judgement and go do it.
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malavika413 wrote: »I wouldn't say that you have to party at college. But I do think the social aspect of going away to school is an integral part of the college experience. And while I think that should involve an occasional party...it doesn't necessarily have to include alcohol or "hooking up".
I went to a university known as a "party school" (also known for it's basketball and lacrosse teams...and in some years, football). Some weekends I would go to parties, some weekends I would stay in and play Boggle and Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. There were bars on campus which were "18 to enter, 21 to drink" (which was kind of a joke...once you were inside nobody really cared which stamp was on your hand). Sometimes I would drink. Sometimes I just wanted to dance. Some nights I would have one or two drinks...other times one or two too many. Some nights I would meet a boy...perhaps we would kiss...perhaps a bit more. Maybe I was lucky never to be put into a situation I couldn't handle. Maybe I was just careful enough. By my senior year, I was finally old enough to go out and drink legally, but I spent more time just hanging out with friends in our off-campus homes. Sometimes there would be alcohol (or a little weed)...sometimes we'd just cook a nice dinner and watch a movie. In any case, my social life certainly was never centered entirely around going out to bars and parties. But I don't have regrets about my college experience. Graduated with honors...as did people who partied far more and far less than I did.
And we all partied in big baggy sweaters...partly because it was the style in the late 80s-early 90s...but mainly because it was really cold up there. Nobody was trudging through the snow in stilettos and miniskirts.
Man, sometimes I wish I could live in the 90s. I don't own heels or any skirt shorter than knee length. But if I showed up in a giant sweater and jeans, my friends would likely laugh. They all rock little sequined dresses and sky-high heels.
yeah, it was a little more conservative in the 90's, but I remember my sister had her club-wear back then which consisted of tight pants and a skin tight top. definitely more conservative than now, but even then, baggy sweaters weren't really worn at clubs.
but actually, i'm thinking of late 90's more than early 90's. it probably started changing.
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Do what YOU want to do, not what other people think you should do.0
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I really never saw any socially redeeming value in college antics. First time away from home and everyone acts like they have the corner on "fun". I know 40 somethings that still wear sweat gear from their alma mater. Many say "glory days". I say "arrested development". Stay in with a few cool friends until an attractive offer comes along.0
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malavika413 wrote: »
Is it worth going to a college party at least once? My friends really want me to go and experience it, and I am curious. What do you think?
Yes.
You're only young once.
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Go have some fun. Fun meaning without analyzing it. And the thing that sticks out to me is the "I'm not attractive..." Bull. What is THAT?! Oh my GOD you are 20!!! Love yourself lady. When you are my age you will look back and think, I was adorable...how did I not see it? Go have a beer, talk to some new people. Stop thinking so much. You're 20!0
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VpinkLotus wrote: »Go have some fun. Fun meaning without analyzing it. And the thing that sticks out to me is the "I'm not attractive..." Bull. What is THAT?! Oh my GOD you are 20!!! Love yourself lady. When you are my age you will look back and think, I was adorable...how did I not see it? Go have a beer, talk to some new people. Stop thinking so much. You're 20!
Unfortunately I'm not what you'd call 'adorable'. I'm just sort of lumpy and awkward. Not exactly the partying type. I don't look good in party clothes, anyway.0 -
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FYI you are gorgeous. Give yourself the satisfaction and empowerment of loving yourself as a woman and embrace the inherent beauty.0
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I partied alot in college. I'm not sure I'd be the man I am today without having experienced all that went along with it.
Do what you wanna do, have fun and BE SAFE!0 -
Youth is wasted on the young.0
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I would say stay home, your definitely not ready. You've already convinced me that you don't want to go. So there is no reason to go and get all worked up and not have a good time.
When your ready to experience life outside of your comfort zone. Throw on some jeans, grab your friends and have a great time. You don't have to drink, smoke or what ever you "Think" goes on at parties. As others have said it's a celebration to have a good time not to see how wasted you can get.0 -
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You may not hate this line 10 or 15 years from now....0
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MartyAlencar wrote: »You may not hate this line 10 or 15 years from now....
The point is, I'm really not all that young. I'm an adult and I already hate it. In 10 years I'm going to be even more jaded.0 -
An adult at 19?
I call shenanigans on this one.0 -
There is such a range of experiences for college parties. I went to a Liberal Arts university and the theatre fraternity threw the most amazing costume parties for halloween. It was this huge deal where they rented a venue and everyone was in character most of the night.
When I visited some friends that lived in a different college town and we went to a parties it was plastic cups of mystery yellow beer in someone's unreasonably dirty house (like gas station restroom dirty). If it's closer to the latter I would take a trusted friend along to make sure you can enjoy yourself but be safe. As others have said, you are under no obligation to drink while there. You are only young once, so you should go if you want to view it as some sort of rite of passage.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »Hey y'all. I'm just asking a question to the peanut gallery, trying to get a variety of opinions.
I'm nearly 20 and a college student. I have a lot of friends that like to party on the weekends (dorm parties, since there's no greek life at my school), and they always invite me. I've never gone, but I'm very curious. However, there are a few reasons that I've held back. I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life, so I don't know how I'd react to it. I don't know what to wear. I have a boyfriend that's very against alcohol and partying, and I'd either have to go behind his back or go knowing he'd be worried about me and my safety. Also, most girls go to parties to flirt with guys, which would dismay my boyfriend. I'm not attractive, so no one would hit on me, but still.
Is it worth going to a college party at least once? My friends really want me to go and experience it, and I am curious. What do you think?
I use to be very much like you. Be safe and cautious but don't let it stop you from having fun. College is suppose to be a time for fun and exploration so don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. If you want to try alcohol, it's YOUR decision. Not your parents', your friends', or your boyfriend's. If you decide to drink, PLEASE be safe. Things can get out of hand very quick.
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