Tired of explaining my diet to people
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NJGamerChick wrote: »NJGamerChick wrote: »FitFroglet wrote: »KarenFord1988 wrote: »I totally understand and get frustrated with it myself sometimes. I even get laughed at by my friends for not ordering straight off the menu, making modifications, and weighing my food. But you know what? If they keep on prodding and poking, I just say, "Look at you and look at me. Who's doing it right?" That usually shuts them up. I'm also tired of people saying, "Don't get too skinny." That's none of their business, first off, but it makes me feel like saying to them, "Don't get too fat." But that's not "politically correct."
I had a very similar conversation with a friend after a colleague asked "When will you stop losing weight? You're so skinny already!" I asked my friend why that's ok but if I said "When will you stop gaining weight? You're so fat already!" I'd be in front of a disciplinary hearing.
You should have said this to your colleague...
Great for office politics.
If said colleague doesn't see offence to the too skinny comment, it would then be hypocritical to see offence in a hypothetical questioning of it's opposite, no? I'm not saying call her fat and ask when she will stop gaining, but posing such a hypothetical might enlighten one to how such comment is a backhanded compliment.
LOL. You do that and see where it gets you.
Man, I'm so happy I don't get butt hurt over every comment tossed my way. It must be a stressful world to care so much about stupid things that mean nothing.
I actually have in many instances posed such questions when I used to work. It was never an issue, but my colleagues were also very, very chill and wouldn't push silly comments on me in the first place. The only time anyone approached me about my eating was when I was only ever seen drinking coffee, which, they were right to do. I've never been much of an eater and still have issues eating before 3pm and in their case, me passing out would have been a liability.
I am the silly hypothetical question person. Even did it when I worked as a cashier in college. The silly questions would make people giggle.0 -
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"Chinese" food is gross. Real Chinese food is good, but that nasty, gelatinous stuff they call Chinese food here is not good.
Thank you for adding that! I get tired of "Chinese food" being synonymous with unhealthy, fatty, greasy, caloric, etc. Like lots of home cooks, I use fresh, good-quality ingredients and I'm conscious of the amount of cooking oil I use, whether I'm cooking Chinese food or other stuff, and my mother was the same way when I was growing up.
And I almost never get grief for my food choices, but I do get raised eyebrows if I'm seen weighing food on the scale. I shrug and move on.
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One of the purposes with eating better, is to eat better. Stuffing oneself with food one doesn't like and has lots of calories too, isn't eating better.
I'm so happy I don't have food pushers in my life (anymore)!0 -
Please don't make false claims that could prove serious to someone who actually has those claims. Things like allergies and intolerances are real and cause lots of harm when not taken seriously, sometimes even death.0
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kommodevaran wrote: »One of the purposes with eating better, is to eat better. Stuffing oneself with food one doesn't like and has lots of calories too, isn't eating better.
I'm so happy I don't have food pushers in my life (anymore)!
So people who can fit Chinese food into their calorie allotment for the day are "stuffing themselves."
I love when people jump to this conclusion. It's so...ivory tower-ish.0 -
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paulawatkins1974 wrote: »
No!!!!! Please don't. See post regarding that from before:Please please please don't use "I'm allergic" as an excuse when you really arent. This diminishes the severity of actual allergies. People will see you eat XY and Z even though you claim to be allergic to ingredient X and assume that it is safe for someone who truly has an allergy. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "well so and so is allergic but they can eat it" as a reason I should eat something that could kill me. Please don't lie about medical issues.0 -
paulawatkins1974 wrote: »
This makes total sense. To me, chinese food WOULD be worth it. But I agree if something isn't worth it, no way would I be wasting extra calories on that, just to be polite. No way. "Indulgence meals" are too precious, and rare.You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
And herein lies the problem.
You can fit chinese food into your calories and it wouldn't be an "indulgence meal."
I COULD fit it, and I have. But I find for the amount of food that will fit for my day will leave me hungry later. Plus, I'm still working on moderation. It's something that didn't click as soon as I decided to lose weight.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »One of the purposes with eating better, is to eat better. Stuffing oneself with food one doesn't like and has lots of calories too, isn't eating better.
I'm so happy I don't have food pushers in my life (anymore)!
So people who can fit Chinese food into their calorie allotment for the day are "stuffing themselves."
I love when people jump to this conclusion. It's so...ivory tower-ish.
I don't think you got my point either. It doesn't feel good to eat food one doesn't like. If you eat food you like, you don't feel like you stuff yourself, but as you indulge. There is a difference there. (My focus wasn't actually on the "stuffing", but on the food choice in regards to personal preference.)
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It drives me nuts that moderation doesn't end well for me and I have to keep explaining that. I've decided to tell people it's not an addiction or a satiety issue or carb cravings or some emotional compulsion or anything else. It's just that I enjoy quietly hating on all you people who can effortlessly have one piece of cake and then walk away satisfied. I am enjoying my bellyful of hatred, okay? So I'm going to be off in this corner with my steak, scowling at all the normal-weight people cruising the dessert bar for sensible portions to fit into their daily allotment. Because I like it!
I think you should probably talk to a therapist if people with normal eating habits bother you that much...
If that is normal how come so many Americans are obese or overweight? By definition, that isn't normal!
No - what she's saying is that if what other people eat or how they eat bothers you that much then that's not normal.
Further, normal eating habits are about eating things in moderation - for example, one piece of cake, one piece of chocolate, a regular size meal, not the super size - those are normal eating habits. Americans (and Canadians, for that matter) have totally blown portion sizing out of the water and that's why so many of us are obese or overweight . . .it's all about that portion size.
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You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
"Chinese" food is gross. Real Chinese food is good, but that nasty, gelatinous stuff they call Chinese food here is not good. You could just request consume soup. It's just a broth and it looks like you're joining in on the festivities.
... I can see it from both sides. I know you find it annoying, but it is kind of rude to refuse all of it - you may as well not attend (go somewhere else?). They didn't ask you what kind of food you want, they asked you what you want from somewhere specific. They've chosen what is best for them to bring, and you should try to make the best of it. That's life. Request steamed veggies, consume soup, etc. Eat to your typical deficit number and do your "precious cheat" the next day.
That's subjective.
Damn straight.
I've had American Chinese food that was great and certainly not 'gelatinous', and I've had it where it was lousy.
I've had 'real Chinese food' that was great, and I've had it where it was lousy.
My advice to VeryKatie is to quit going to crappy Chinese restaurants. Admittedly, this is hard - the crappy ones vastly outnumber the good ones, at least around here.
The Chinese food around me is so bad I taught myself how to make it. Mmmmmm....cold sesame noodles.
I was actually talking about Chinese food last night with someone after my horrible Thai experience. I was saying how I grew up in a lower income area, I'm not high class and grew up on what most people would consider terrible quality food. I remembered the first time I ate at a Chinese restaurant in long island and I ordered some shrimp fried rice. I got the rice and was like "WTF is this? Fresh shrimp? Where's the little white shrimp?". There will be great and terrible food available to people and different people will like different things.
I used to love those little white shrimp.
There is one Chinese place near me that is decent. But I saw a roach crawl out of the kitchen once and that was it for me. So, now I know how to make dumplings, lettuce wraps, lemon chicken and cold sesame noodles. It's not NYC, but it works for bumblef&ck PA.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Even if you don't want it??
I took up drinking for the sake of my father. To put it in to context, I was a lifetime teetotaler until I was in my forties. Then my father took up wine-making and he proudly served it at thanksgiving. I pondered, "Is it more worthy to keep a lifetime ban on alcohol, or to honor my father?" I figured a quarter of a glass is more like taking medicine than imbibing and I toasted my dad. I'll never be a big drinker, but I will drink at important social occasions.
Another occasion I ate a poached egg (which I gag on) in order not to embarrass a mother. The mother had just lectured her child on the importance of eating what is in front of us, especially when we have guests. I was heavy on the pepper and buttered toast that day.
And finally, I drank a home-made smoothie that my school-aged children made for me. I could still see streaks of egg and raw cranberries in the poorly blended creation. It was a gift for mother's day. What else could I do?0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »One of the purposes with eating better, is to eat better. Stuffing oneself with food one doesn't like and has lots of calories too, isn't eating better.
I'm so happy I don't have food pushers in my life (anymore)!
So people who can fit Chinese food into their calorie allotment for the day are "stuffing themselves."
I love when people jump to this conclusion. It's so...ivory tower-ish.
I don't think you got my point either. It doesn't feel good to eat food one doesn't like. If you eat food you like, you don't feel like you stuff yourself, but as you indulge. There is a difference there. (My focus wasn't actually on the "stuffing", but on the food choice in regards to personal preference.)
Ok, but that's not how you came across. At all.
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Even if you don't want it??
I took up drinking for the sake of my father. To put it in to context, I was a lifetime teetotaler until I was in my forties. Then my father took up wine-making and he proudly served it at thanksgiving. I pondered, "Is it more worthy to keep a lifetime ban on alcohol, or to honor my father?" I figured a quarter of a glass is more like taking medicine than imbibing and I toasted my dad. I'll never be a big drinker, but I will drink at important social occasions.
Another occasion I ate a poached egg (which I gag on) in order not to embarrass a mother. The mother had just lectured her child on the importance of eating what is in front of us, especially when we have guests. I was heavy on the pepper and buttered toast that day.
And finally, I drank a home-made smoothie that my school-aged children made for me. I could still see streaks of egg and raw cranberries in the poorly blended creation. It was a gift for mother's day. What else could I do?
You are more courageous than I am.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »One of the purposes with eating better, is to eat better. Stuffing oneself with food one doesn't like and has lots of calories too, isn't eating better.
I'm so happy I don't have food pushers in my life (anymore)!
So people who can fit Chinese food into their calorie allotment for the day are "stuffing themselves."
I love when people jump to this conclusion. It's so...ivory tower-ish.
I don't think you got my point either. It doesn't feel good to eat food one doesn't like. If you eat food you like, you don't feel like you stuff yourself, but as you indulge. There is a difference there. (My focus wasn't actually on the "stuffing", but on the food choice in regards to personal preference.)
Ok, but that's not how you came across. At all.
Please tell me how I came across! (I'm Norwegian
)
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paulawatkins1974 wrote: »paulawatkins1974 wrote: »
This makes total sense. To me, chinese food WOULD be worth it. But I agree if something isn't worth it, no way would I be wasting extra calories on that, just to be polite. No way. "Indulgence meals" are too precious, and rare.You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
And herein lies the problem.
You can fit chinese food into your calories and it wouldn't be an "indulgence meal."
I COULD fit it, and I have. But I find for the amount of food that will fit for my day will leave me hungry later. Plus, I'm still working on moderation. It's something that didn't click as soon as I decided to lose weight.
Moderation is hard, I agree.
But, sometimes, it's important to just go along to get along. The OP could easily have a big bowl of wonton soup, steamed veggies and chicken with sauce on the side and a scoop of rice. That would be pretty filling.
Hungry later? Make a big bowl of popcorn.
That would be my plan anyway.0 -
Honestly, I think the fact that you're asking this question probably suggests what the answer is.
Nobody judges my diet because I don't allow it to become an issue. I still socialize just as I did before; I still go out to the same restaurants, attend the same events, and visit the same people as I did before. If I take less food on my plate, they don't notice, because nobody really pays that much attention to what people eat. My mom loves to say "here, have some more" but a simple "no thanks" is all that's required there.
Outside of a select few friends who know I'm trying to lose weight, nobody else really knows I'm doing this. Not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed, it's just that most people really don't want to hear about other people's diet or exercise or weight loss efforts. I have better things to talk about and so do they.
If someone were coming over with Chinese food, I'd say "sure, thank you!" and proceed to eat as much of it as fit my calories for the day, and I really wouldn't worry about what I'd previously planned to eat because seeing my relatives is more important to me.
This isn't a "diet". It's a way of life. It has to work with real life or else it's not sustainable.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »One of the purposes with eating better, is to eat better. Stuffing oneself with food one doesn't like and has lots of calories too, isn't eating better.
I'm so happy I don't have food pushers in my life (anymore)!
So people who can fit Chinese food into their calorie allotment for the day are "stuffing themselves."
I love when people jump to this conclusion. It's so...ivory tower-ish.
I don't think you got my point either. It doesn't feel good to eat food one doesn't like. If you eat food you like, you don't feel like you stuff yourself, but as you indulge. There is a difference there. (My focus wasn't actually on the "stuffing", but on the food choice in regards to personal preference.)
Ok, but that's not how you came across. At all.
Please tell me how I came across! (I'm Norwegian )
A little bit like those of us who eat all foods in moderation are making bad choices and stuffing our faces. No harm, no foul.
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I'm at the stage where people are beginning to notice a little weight loss. I have an added dimension in that I've previously been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer... so, often the conversation goes a little like this...
Enquirer: uhm, ah... Cath, you're not...?! You know...?!
Me: I'm not what?!
Enquirer: Well, uhm... you know, sick, like you were before?!
Me: Nope, I'm not sick, just watching what I eat?!
Enquirer: OMG I'm so glad, well good for you! What diet is that, cos it's really doing you good.
(Ya making me look sick no less!)
Me: it's called the "put less food in your gob diet" which only really works with the "move your *kitten* more" exercise plan!
This is usually followed by a debate on motivation & staying away from 'danger foods' & me being asked my secret to will power. I explain, I have a health ambition that far outweighs any lack of motivation!!!0 -
You guys are all cracking me up, this is awesome. I feel like I should give some color to what sort of precipitated this aggravation. My in-laws are brining over Chinese food tonight and tonight is my cherished cheat meal night and Chinese food is simply not cheat worthy so it's causing family strife that I told them not to bring me any and I will get my own food, which is what opens up the "diet" discussion. My husband is mad at me for being rude, and my in laws are still trying to get me to tell them what I want from the Chinese restaurant.
If your in-laws are graciously offering to bring a meal to you, I think you should graciously accept it. They are even asking you what you want, so you don't have to suffer through eating something you don't like. If you refuse to eat what everyone else is eating, it might seem rude or arrogant to them. You can cherish next week's cheat meal.
I feel like public dieting just calls attention to me and my fatness. I try to conceal the fact that I'm trying to lose weight from others for the purpose of avoiding questions about it. If I'm offered food, I always accept it with thanks. It's only one treat or meal out of my whole life. It's just not going to matter that much in the long run.
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Stop calling me fat.0 -
Cath_Taylor wrote: »I'm at the stage where people are beginning to notice a little weight loss. I have an added dimension in that I've previously been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer... so, often the conversation goes a little like this...
Enquirer: uhm, ah... Cath, you're not...?! You know...?!
Me: I'm not what?!
Enquirer: Well, uhm... you know, sick, like you were before?!
Me: Nope, I'm not sick, just watching what I eat?!
Enquirer: OMG I'm so glad, well good for you! What diet is that, cos it's really doing you good.
(Ya making me look sick no less!)
Me: it's called the "put less food in your gob diet" which only really works with the "move your *kitten* more" exercise plan!
This is usually followed by a debate on motivation & staying away from 'danger foods' & me being asked my secret to will power. I explain, I have a health ambition that far outweighs any lack of motivation!!!
I'm glad to hear you are no longer sick.0 -
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kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »One of the purposes with eating better, is to eat better. Stuffing oneself with food one doesn't like and has lots of calories too, isn't eating better.
I'm so happy I don't have food pushers in my life (anymore)!
So people who can fit Chinese food into their calorie allotment for the day are "stuffing themselves."
I love when people jump to this conclusion. It's so...ivory tower-ish.
I don't think you got my point either. It doesn't feel good to eat food one doesn't like. If you eat food you like, you don't feel like you stuff yourself, but as you indulge. There is a difference there. (My focus wasn't actually on the "stuffing", but on the food choice in regards to personal preference.)
Ok, but that's not how you came across. At all.
Please tell me how I came across! (I'm Norwegian )
A little bit like those of us who eat all foods in moderation are making bad choices and stuffing our faces. No harm, no foul.
Ok, thanks
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Stop calling me fat.
You're so skinny. Stop losing weight already.
Then give me all your peanut butter. Win.0
This discussion has been closed.
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