Four bags of Oreos

1131416181925

Replies

  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
    85kurtz wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    seriously, if you already have the research then you should have easy access to it, I know I would ….

    Really? You don't do a lot of research then. I have researched literally thousands of papers in my career. I can honestly say that I do not have easy access to all of them, but can remember snippets of information from them. I do not understand this mania for people demanding to see research papers when, by and large, they would be totally unqualified to critique them any useful way. Nonetheless a quick google search illicited this response (sorry I do not know how to cut and paste on my phone) "Emma Innes quoting research by The University of Southern Carolina & University of Texas in The Daily Mail 23 October 2013 The title of the article is "How Losing Weight Can Be Bad For Your Relationship..." I read the original research paper so got the universities wrong.

    I don't do other peoples home work for them …

    feel free to link when you are at a PC.

  • 85kurtz
    85kurtz Posts: 276 Member
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »

    You do research but you don't understand citing your sources??

    For heavens sake how would you like me tobcite it? Harvard, APA? I was trying to make it easy for you to understand so you could look it up, seeing as you were interested. I wasn't so worried about conventions of scholarship.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
    85kurtz wrote: »
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »

    You do research but you don't understand citing your sources??

    For heavens sake how would you like me tobcite it? Harvard, APA? I was trying to make it easy for you to understand so you could look it up, seeing as you were interested. I wasn't so worried about conventions of scholarship.

    we are just asking for the link to the article. This is, after all, the internet...
  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
    You don't understand the definition of cite either??

    cite

    verb
    1.
    refer to (a passage, book, or author) as evidence for or justification of an argument or statement, especially in a scholarly work.

    It's much easier to look something up if you give the source of your information ;)
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
    edited May 2015
    stealthq wrote: »
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    MrM27 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    kimondo666 wrote: »
    Try to persuade him if he has sweettooth that he eats raw fruit, and not zero nutrient refined sugar in sweets. Bananas are a whole lot better, or apples. Even dried fruits are much better.

    i fail to see the correlation between a sweet tooth and eating raw foods…..

    Er... raw fruit is sweet..(?)
    ndj1979 wrote: »

    and source of sugar does not matter...

    I read something yesterday about why fruit sugar is "better" than added sugar in other carbohydrate-loaded foods. Apparently the digestion of sugar requires certain micronutrients that are also delivered in fresh fruit. However, if you eat (for example) a candy bar, it doesn't contain any of the vitamins required to digest it, so essentially by eating the candy bar you're dipping into (depleting) your reserve of micronutrients.

    So, the logic that you can get your day's nutrition and then spend any 'leftover' calories on junk without detriment to your health is somewhat flawed...

    3rd request for a link to the article you are saying you read.
    Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.

    As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.

    Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.

    Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.

    I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...

    Did you ask him why he opened 4 different packages?

    This is the greatest problem I've read so far in this thread. That is crazy talk. If there's going to be an intervention, it should be for this egregious violation.

    My thought was that he came home with 4 different kinds of Oreos: there are a bunch of different varieties now..golden, traditional, strawberry, chocolate center, etc.

    Lies.

    There is only One True Oreo™*.

    To say otherwise is blasphemous.






    * Double stuffed. Original Oreos are more properly called "half stuffed"...or "Oreos Lite"...or "diet Oreos".

    Well, yes. Of course.

    But damn, the lemon ones and the peanut butter filled ones are really, really good. They don't even remind me of a traditional Oreo. But still.

    1402074712724
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    draznyth wrote: »
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    MrM27 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    kimondo666 wrote: »
    Try to persuade him if he has sweettooth that he eats raw fruit, and not zero nutrient refined sugar in sweets. Bananas are a whole lot better, or apples. Even dried fruits are much better.

    i fail to see the correlation between a sweet tooth and eating raw foods…..

    Er... raw fruit is sweet..(?)
    ndj1979 wrote: »

    and source of sugar does not matter...

    I read something yesterday about why fruit sugar is "better" than added sugar in other carbohydrate-loaded foods. Apparently the digestion of sugar requires certain micronutrients that are also delivered in fresh fruit. However, if you eat (for example) a candy bar, it doesn't contain any of the vitamins required to digest it, so essentially by eating the candy bar you're dipping into (depleting) your reserve of micronutrients.

    So, the logic that you can get your day's nutrition and then spend any 'leftover' calories on junk without detriment to your health is somewhat flawed...

    3rd request for a link to the article you are saying you read.
    Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.

    As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.

    Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.

    Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.

    I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...

    Did you ask him why he opened 4 different packages?

    This is the greatest problem I've read so far in this thread. That is crazy talk. If there's going to be an intervention, it should be for this egregious violation.

    Srs wtf are you gonna do with stale Oreos

    You make bread pudding out of stale bread, I'll bet you can crunch up those stale oreos and make oreo pudding. use them in brownies or cookies or some other desert. Heck, grind them up and sprinkle them on top of your ice cream, or put them in homemade bread. Put them in a milkshake even.

    DO NOT throw the stale oreos away!

    Jon-Stewart-mind-blown.gif
  • 85kurtz
    85kurtz Posts: 276 Member
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    85kurtz wrote: »
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »

    You do research but you don't understand citing your sources??

    For heavens sake how would you like me tobcite it? Harvard, APA? I was trying to make it easy for you to understand so you could look it up, seeing as you were interested. I wasn't so worried about conventions of scholarship.

    we are just asking for the link to the article. This is, after all, the internet...

    I already said I do not know how to link from my phone. You are interested enough to ask but not interested enough to put in some search parameters. The facts are there, you can rail against them all you like I have offered all I can.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
    85kurtz wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    85kurtz wrote: »
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »

    You do research but you don't understand citing your sources??

    For heavens sake how would you like me tobcite it? Harvard, APA? I was trying to make it easy for you to understand so you could look it up, seeing as you were interested. I wasn't so worried about conventions of scholarship.

    we are just asking for the link to the article. This is, after all, the internet...

    I already said I do not know how to link from my phone. You are interested enough to ask but not interested enough to put in some search parameters. The facts are there, you can rail against them all you like I have offered all I can.

    i don't see any facts…i see some claims...
  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
    85kurtz wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    85kurtz wrote: »
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »

    You do research but you don't understand citing your sources??

    For heavens sake how would you like me tobcite it? Harvard, APA? I was trying to make it easy for you to understand so you could look it up, seeing as you were interested. I wasn't so worried about conventions of scholarship.

    we are just asking for the link to the article. This is, after all, the internet...

    I already said I do not know how to link from my phone. You are interested enough to ask but not interested enough to put in some search parameters. The facts are there, you can rail against them all you like I have offered all I can.

    We shouldn't have to ask. If you are saying something, you should provide the source to back up what you're saying. Or should we just take your word for it? Honestly, as a researcher you should know that's not how it works.
  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
    And while links are preferable for the sake of clicking ease, if you can't do that from your phone author, date, title and where the article can be found (as you did above, eventually) will suffice.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,048 Member
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not everyone's relationship dynamic is the same. Think about the couples you might know where one is more dominant and the other of the pair more submissive and it works. I'm not talking 50 shades of grey stuff here people. My grandparents were like that and open, honest communication would make them laugh. Their marriage worked for them.

    This (although 50 shades of grey is a horrible depiction of those in a power exchange relationship).

    Actually, reading all this "force your husband"/throw it out/intervention crap that people are spewing, make me oh so grateful to be in that type of relationship (on the sub side). Problem solved lol.

    Makes me grateful to not be in a relationship at all!! OMG so many people in this thread I would not want as my spouse if that's the way they would handle this!!

    OP, perhaps it was a knee jerk reaction to the thought of having to 'eat healthy' - 'can't have oreos, give me ALL the oreos'. When you have your adult, two-way, respectful conversation with him, perhaps making it clear to him that he doesn't need to give these things up entirely, just have them in moderation as part of an overall healthy eating plan. But at the end of the day, it is his choice whether he wants to do this. As someone else several pages ago pointed out, swap out 'diabetes' for 'overweight' - you have to be ready to do it or it just doesn't work.

    But the odds are it will the the OP waiting on him if he loses his legs to diabetes or something. He isn't just risking his future, he is also risking hers.

    You're right about him needing to want to change, but I don't think going "Ohhh well, he's an adult so I'll just watch him destroying his health" is a good option either. I think family therapy, which was suggested some pages ago, is a good idea. Buying four bags of oreos and then opening them all at once seems really odd.

    Very well said. To those who say the consequences of obesity with diabetes are rare or not severe, I can only offer my first hand experience with a family member. It is non-stop hospitalization, one surgery after another, horribly expensive (with insurance), endless insurance claim hassles, lots of pain, no mobility, and no rest for the poor long suffering care giver. It is a totally one-sided (exhausting) relationship. The "I do me, you do you" attitude either (1) does not recognize how harsh the consequences are for both partners, or (2) assumes the healthy partner will ditch the sick one before the money runs out. While I agree the diabetes-addiction comparison is fraught, to the one watching a spouse destroy both their futures, it might feel eerily similar.
  • 85kurtz
    85kurtz Posts: 276 Member
    ndj1979 wrote: »

    i don't see any facts…i see some claims...

    I actually found it a very interesting piece of qualitative research. That's why I remembered it. I am sorry you didn't feel the same. But at least you took the time to read the article that gave the gist of the original, thank you for that.
    Anyway off to the gym now.
    I apologize to the OP for derailing this thread with extraneous information.
  • 85kurtz
    85kurtz Posts: 276 Member
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »
    You don't understand the definition of cite either??

    cite

    verb
    1.
    refer to (a passage, book, or author) as evidence for or justification of an argument or statement, especially in a scholarly work.

    It's much easier to look something up if you give the source of your information ;)

    One cites authors in a conventional manner in bibliography or reference lists and in the body of the text. I assumed I was being asked to cite by correct convention. I had already explained that I was unable to create a hyperlink on my phone. So get over yourself. I provided you with the information you asked for, but did not cite using convention to aid in understanding.
  • Oshun64
    Oshun64 Posts: 12 Member
    Haven't had the chance to read all the pages since I last posted, but two thoughts occurred to me:

    1. For those who keep reiterating that the OP should treat her husband like an adult rather than a child...the irony is that when the debilitating effects of diabetes inevitably take hold, her husband will most likely be reduced to childlike status...with the OP acting as adult/caregiver.

    2. I was really intrigued by hubby eating exactly two cookies from each bag. This seems to me to be a deeply resentful act..a big F*** Y** to the OP. It might also be a preventative measure to keep her from returning the unopened bags to the store.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    85kurtz wrote: »
    I wonder how people would respond to this post if the OP had said her husband was starving himself to death because of anorexia nervosa? Probably that she should encourage him to get professional help. I believe that chronic overeating is another ED but without the sympathy attached.
    I am still not entirely convinced that the OP's husband is not just bringing the food into the house for himself. It seems that sometimes partners are very threatened by the idea that their loved one may become more attractive and find another partner.
    He has a life threatening medical condition. In other words, if he doesn't take care of himself he could get seriously sick and even die from diabetes complications.

    I am appalled with your comment in bold.
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    Oshun64 wrote: »
    Haven't had the chance to read all the pages since I last posted, but two thoughts occurred to me:

    1. For those who keep reiterating that the OP should treat her husband like an adult rather than a child...the irony is that when the debilitating effects of diabetes inevitably take hold, her husband will most likely be reduced to childlike status...with the OP acting as adult/caregiver.

    2. I was really intrigued by hubby eating exactly two cookies from each bag. This seems to me to be a deeply resentful act..a big F*** Y** to the OP. It might also be a preventative measure to keep her from returning the unopened bags to the store.

    Wow, interesting, on both points.

  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    85kurtz wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    85kurtz wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »

    and the attractive comment is just downright ludicrous...

    No not really, The University of Carolina published a research paper about this. It isn't that uncommon.

    go ahead and link us to it for review purposes...

    I have already done the research. I suggest you log into google and type "research papers that indicate partners derail weight loss". That should get you there.

    Wait just a minute, no. The onus is on you to produce links to research because you opened the door and said there is research. Why won't you post links to what you've found?
  • APeacefulWarrior
    APeacefulWarrior Posts: 86 Member
    It's evening here, and I've been reading through all of the thoughts and comments and I hope I can clear up some of the questions.

    No, this definitely was not our first conversation - in fact our first conversation about eating healthy was on our first date 11 years ago. I was "pudgy" to borrow an adjective from an earlier poster and he was in the 400-ish range. One of the things that brought us together was what I had thought was a sincere desire on both our parts to get healthier, both through healthier eating and a healthier lifestyle in general. He was already considering WLS, and having known several coworkers who were somewhat in the same boat as him have amazing successes, I encouraged him to explore that option. The year and a half leading up to our engagement were filled with discussions on how to better things, and we planned a wedding with surgery on the horizon once I could get him on my insurance plan (his didn't cover it).Of course there were some warning flags that I missed in hindsight, but all in all, he was a great guy and I loved him for the person he was - I've never been one to judge a book by its cover.

    Now a little about my own weight struggle... I have had my ups and down... many, many stressors including an abusive first marriage, losing my second husband to cancer, and trying to cope with raising three kids, one of whom has some pretty significant health issues herself. I have fought depression and the weight gain that comes with needing to be on antidepressants. Throw in menopause, new found thyroid issues, and attempting to deal with disappointments and broken promises, I would gain, then lose, and then repeat the cycle. Eating healthy is a pleasure for me personally - having to fight for space in the refrigerator for my salad fixings and lean meats can be overwhelming. Being told a year after the marriage (when I started losing weight along side him in anticipation of his surgery) that I was getting too thin (at 195" lbs) and if I lost weight, I wouldn't be attractive anymore, was a tough blow, but I put it down to anxiety over the changes that were coming pretty fast. After all, I was thinner than that when I met him.

    The next five years were filled with conflict and growing health concerns (on my part) for both of us, but I noticed that he was moving in the opposite direction again healthwise. He began experiencing significant knee pain, back pain, digestive issues, and was back on a high pressure bipap. I tried everything - including doing nothing, but none of it helped until I insisted on couples counseling which led to individual counseling for both of us. In a unfortunate turn of events, he found a therapist who prescribed amphetamines supposedly to treat adult ADD. He started losing weight pretty consistently, and when it would slow, he would tell his dr that he was having more ADD issues and the dosage increased - pretty soon he could eat whatever he wanted to with no weight gain. Status quo for about 3 years until about 6 months ago when he started gaining weight again. He was on the maximum dose of medication, so things went downhill pretty quickly. Things are to the point where I am at a loss, and watching his health deteriorate not only saddens me, it scares me for all of the reasons so many of you have brought up.

    I love him, but I love myself too - it's hard to stand by and watch him kill himself, because that is exactly what he is doing. He wants to blame (the world, his parents, his genetics, the food industry for having so many yummy choices... the list goes on), but he refuses to take responsibility or empower himself to make changes.

    So that is the background... and here I am... he's angry with me tonight because I refused to pick up the 4 individual apple pies he had added to the shopping list when I stopped at the store this evening... and there are eight more cookies gone.

    Sigh...
  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
    85kurtz wrote: »
    Nony_Mouse wrote: »
    You don't understand the definition of cite either??

    cite

    verb
    1.
    refer to (a passage, book, or author) as evidence for or justification of an argument or statement, especially in a scholarly work.

    It's much easier to look something up if you give the source of your information ;)

    One cites authors in a conventional manner in bibliography or reference lists and in the body of the text. I assumed I was being asked to cite by correct convention. I had already explained that I was unable to create a hyperlink on my phone. So get over yourself. I provided you with the information you asked for, but did not cite using convention to aid in understanding.

    One should never assume ;). You were merely being asked to provide the source(s) of your information, which you eventually did, and for which we thank you. That is all that's expected.