Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Fun! Is it non-stick? I have cheap-o dollar store ones but my eggs always stick so I don't bother using them much.xMrBunglex wrote: »You guys talk a lot. Too many to quote!
Today's confession is I just bought a Roundy egg cooker ring - I shall now be eating homemade egg white / ezekiel muffin / turkey & jalapeno jack Egg McMuffins for breakfast for the next 3 months. SO GOOD
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Glad you're feeling better.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Thank you to everyone who responded so kindly. I was really scared to check back after posting that. I was literally trembling and shaky after posting it and when I came back to see the new posts.
@Lois_1989 Yup, pretty much. PG rating scale, you could say. It is a no-no to swear in Islam, but my personal phobia has nothing to do with that and everything to do with my home life growing up, unfortunately. I can't even read most books because of it, even though I love to read. I end up reading a lot more of Enid Blyton than you might expect from someone my age. :-/
@Francl27 I confess that I deleted you a while back for that exact reason, so I'm really glad you aren't offended.
@Glinda1971 For some reason you struck me that way, and I wasn't particularly anxious when accepting your friend request--I'm not sure why.
I confess... I feel a lot better now.
Just letting you know that you can hide friends from your newsfeed, if you don't want to see their updates - no need to delete, unless you have a real need to.
I know that I can.
But hiding people from my newsfeed does pretty much defeat the purpose of having them on my list--I like to follow along with everyone when they're struggling/need someone to talk to/want to celebrate a victory, etc. So hiding them from my newsfeed would probably just make them wonder why I never respond to anything that they post, while I seem to be very responsive to others that are both on our lists. 0 -
Yeah, I see what you mean. I have deleted people before who never responded to anything about me, when I was always cheerleading them. I've been a very bad friend lately though - I haven't been commenting to anyone very much.Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Glad you're feeling better.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Thank you to everyone who responded so kindly. I was really scared to check back after posting that. I was literally trembling and shaky after posting it and when I came back to see the new posts.
@Lois_1989 Yup, pretty much. PG rating scale, you could say. It is a no-no to swear in Islam, but my personal phobia has nothing to do with that and everything to do with my home life growing up, unfortunately. I can't even read most books because of it, even though I love to read. I end up reading a lot more of Enid Blyton than you might expect from someone my age. :-/
@Francl27 I confess that I deleted you a while back for that exact reason, so I'm really glad you aren't offended.
@Glinda1971 For some reason you struck me that way, and I wasn't particularly anxious when accepting your friend request--I'm not sure why.
I confess... I feel a lot better now.
Just letting you know that you can hide friends from your newsfeed, if you don't want to see their updates - no need to delete, unless you have a real need to.
I know that I can. But hiding people from my newsfeed does pretty much defeat the purpose of having them on my list--I like to follow along with everyone when they're struggling/need someone to talk to/want to celebrate a victory, etc. So hiding them from my newsfeed would probably just make them wonder why I never respond to anything that they post, while I seem to be very responsive to others that are both on our lists.
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Fun! Is it non-stick? I have cheap-o dollar store ones but my eggs always stick so I don't bother using them much.xMrBunglex wrote: »You guys talk a lot. Too many to quote!
Today's confession is I just bought a Roundy egg cooker ring - I shall now be eating homemade egg white / ezekiel muffin / turkey & jalapeno jack Egg McMuffins for breakfast for the next 3 months. SO GOOD
Yeah, works great, no sticking! $2.99 at Bed Bath & Beyond. We are way too excited about this thing.
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@Susieq_1994 I tend to curse when I feel the situation calls for it (in real life) but not typically online and never in my news feed so no worries here!
I'm happy you felt comfortable enough to confess that to us, must be a relief!
It is. It was weighing really heavily on my mind once I started getting friend requests, so it's quite a burden lifted off of my shoulders. 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »You guys (ladies?), I have something I need to confess to all of you (especially to all of those awesome people who added me as friends).
So, here's the thing: I wasn't ever planning to confess this in here, because I didn't want to offend anyone or make anyone feel guilty. A small part of me was also afraid that it would backfire and I would get taunted, but after knowing everyone for a while, I'm sure it wouldn't happen. I've honestly been sitting here in front of my screen for an hour, trying to get up the courage to confess this to everyone here, and as I type this I'm beginning to cry.
Basically, I have an extreme phobia of profanity of any kind--whether it's typed or verbally spoken. It triggers my anxiety and my FND in a really big way, and this is one of the reasons that sticking with this thread has been a huge challenge for me. I was able to stick with it mostly because of MFP's profanity filters--otherwise I would be long gone due to a level of anxiety that I really can't handle.
Now, this poses a problem for me. While I'm really, really happy to have all of you add me as friends, my MFP feed doesn't have the profanity filter that the forums have, and I need my feed to be "safe" for me. Lately I've been scared and anxious whenever I open MFP, for fear of what I might read on the feed.
I just wanted to tell all of you who have been so kind to add me, that while I don't expect you to filter what you post on your MFP, I really don't want you to be offended if I delete you for usage of profanity. It DOES NOT MEAN that I don't like you or that I don't want to be your friend--this is just an issue that I have a terrible, terrible fear of and really can't handle. I honestly contemplated making a second account to log my food so I wouldn't have to look at the feed on this one so I wouldn't end up deleting or alienating any one of you--I decided that it was best to bite the bullet and tell the truth.
Please don't be offended, because I truly don't mean to offend anyone. I'm sorry if I've made anyone feel bad or guilty or angry at me by this confession.
No judgement and all that, right?
I wonder why that is.....when you were a child did you get sworn at a lot? What does FND stand for?
To everyone: last night I asked what tldr meant but nobody answered, I wonder if the post got lost because I tend to mostly post after everyone is gone for the night......
Something like that... I think it was more like swearing meant something really nasty was about to happen to me or my siblings.
TL;DR means "Too long; didn't read"
FND stands for Functional Neurological Disorder.
I am sorry to hear that.0 -
Glad you like it! I think part of the issue with missing posts here isn't so much that the thread is busy (though that's part of it), but it's more that when folks respond, they tend to quote the ENTIRE POST they are replying to, including lengthy blocks of text and/or images and photos. It doesn't take long to burn through multiple pages that way, and bury other new posts in the process.Oh wow I totally missed this, thanks for posting @caitwn!
Another issue on message boards like this one is when people respond with a separate post to every person they are replying to, rather than combining responses in a single post, with individual callouts like "@LBuerhle38, thanks for that feedback!", followed by individual call-outs to others you're replying to. Honestly, handling responses that way is an expectation on a lot of boards because it's considered to be courteous to other posters. I haven't really pushed the issue here because I know nobody is deliberately trying to bury new posts or to 'drown out' other posts with pages of repeated big photos/blocks of text. But it is maybe worth taking a second to think about before hitting that 'quote' + 'reply'
I try doing it that way but I’m usually so far behind that when I’m responding, no one seems to know what I’m responding to anymore if I don't quote something.yesterday afternoon i had plans to take my mom to see jurassic world. yesterday we also had a massive storm that dumped tons of rain. it was still slightly raining when i left the house to meet her at the theater. of course i'm perpetually late for everything and was probably driving a smidge too fast for the road conditions.
then i started to fishtail on the four lane highway, and i completely can't pull out of it, totally lose control, the car does a full 360 spin across the two lanes of oncoming traffic and i bounce off of the opposing guardrail.
I hope you are okay. That sounds really scary. I'm not caught up so you probably answered this by now but did your car get badly damaged?
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Yeah, I see what you mean. I have deleted people before who never responded to anything about me, when I was always cheerleading them. I've been a very bad friend lately though - I haven't been commenting to anyone very much.Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Glad you're feeling better.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Thank you to everyone who responded so kindly. I was really scared to check back after posting that. I was literally trembling and shaky after posting it and when I came back to see the new posts.
@Lois_1989 Yup, pretty much. PG rating scale, you could say. It is a no-no to swear in Islam, but my personal phobia has nothing to do with that and everything to do with my home life growing up, unfortunately. I can't even read most books because of it, even though I love to read. I end up reading a lot more of Enid Blyton than you might expect from someone my age. :-/
@Francl27 I confess that I deleted you a while back for that exact reason, so I'm really glad you aren't offended.
@Glinda1971 For some reason you struck me that way, and I wasn't particularly anxious when accepting your friend request--I'm not sure why.
I confess... I feel a lot better now.
Just letting you know that you can hide friends from your newsfeed, if you don't want to see their updates - no need to delete, unless you have a real need to.
I know that I can. But hiding people from my newsfeed does pretty much defeat the purpose of having them on my list--I like to follow along with everyone when they're struggling/need someone to talk to/want to celebrate a victory, etc. So hiding them from my newsfeed would probably just make them wonder why I never respond to anything that they post, while I seem to be very responsive to others that are both on our lists.
I feel this way too
I find in general though, I try and keep up with everyone at least somewhat, but certain weeks it falls by the waste side when I get too busy, like this week, but as soon as things get back to normal I like to comment and peak at and 'like' food logs etc.0 -
Sorry you're feeling so down. I do a kind of fluid IF, as I've mentioned here before. I call it 'not eating breakfast'. It usually works out to be a 16:8 fast, because I'm normally finished eating by about 8pm - I'm not a night snacker particularly, especially if I've had a big dinner. Then I'll go til around noon the next day. By then I'm really ready for lunch, but not actually chewing off my own limbs. This is how I figured it would work for me - I always ate a late breakfast because it makes me feel ill to just wake up and eat, so it was just a case of stretching it out a bit.Confession: I'm seriously considering the intermittent fasting diet. I'm clearly not getting anywhere with the old fashioned calorie counting and I'm actually getting quite desperate now. I want to book a doctors appointment but I think they will say the same thing as my mum "Why don't you join weight watchers or slimming world" Yea, I don't want to pay someone to watch me stand on a scale.
I'm also considering taking all the money I have saved for a deposit on a house and getting someone to just suck all the fat out of me.
It's all feeling very hopeless at the moment
I'm not militant about it at all. If we have a family breakfast out or something, of course I'll eat. Or if I know I'm going to have a late lunch, I'll have a slice of toast to keep me going. But this is in general what I do every day, and I find it really helps me keep my calories down. 1500 spread across 2 meals and a snack or two means decent sized meals.
I did try 5:2 a couple of times, but I was too hungry on the 500 calorie days.
ETA: Regarding the liposuction - I know you're joking, but I did read about it because my sister had some lipo as part of her recent tummy tuck (which looks amazing, by the way). If you gain any weight back, that fat has to go somewhere other than where it would have gone before you had the fat cells sucked away. Apparently you can end up with really weird fat deposits in strange places because of this. I find that pretty off-putting.
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I use flexible dieting and have no issues with stopping at one cookie. But realised the one thing I cannot control my self with is a jar of Nutella. It's not allowed in the house anymore. LMAO.0
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I confess I do not understand the big debate about taking down that stupid flag! It should have been gone 100 years ago, TAKE IT DOWN!0
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Let's not go there. The fastest way to get this thread closed it for it to turn into a political debate!Italian_Buju wrote: »I confess I do not understand the big debate about taking down that stupid flag! It should have been gone 100 years ago, TAKE IT DOWN!
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I still need to catch up but I wanted to vent on something.
No one probably remembers but I have talked about that guy who is on the phone at work all the time and everyone loves him even though he barely works...he just let me know he won some award so he is getting a plaque/prize at 10 today.
I'm like seriously...
Poke him in the eye0 -
Trip him up as he goes to accept his stupid award.I still need to catch up but I wanted to vent on something.
No one probably remembers but I have talked about that guy who is on the phone at work all the time and everyone loves him even though he barely works...he just let me know he won some award so he is getting a plaque/prize at 10 today.
I'm like seriously...
Poke him in the eye
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@Susieq_1994 I'm so sorry for whatever happened to you to cause this for you. I wish that we could take those horrible things and just erase them for ourselves and others.
I hope I don't curse too much for your liking. I generally don't online....or I use $#*% to filter myself. But I don't want to offend you, so I hope that I don't!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »I confess I do not understand the big debate about taking down that stupid flag! It should have been gone 100 years ago, TAKE IT DOWN!
Agreed. "Southern Pride" my rear end. It's kinda like Germany still flying the red & black swastika. You lost.
Don't you realize the rest of the country thinks you sound like idiots when you try to defend it?
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riderfangal wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Especially @orangesmartie--your advice (to me and even to other posters) has been really helpful in "talking me off the cliff", so to speak. Also, Charlie is seriously adorable. Can I have him?
Heehee, sorry no, he's my lovely little boy and I seriously adore him, he is the centre of my world (and I hate children). I'm quite looking forward to my niece coming along too, when I ignore the financial and time pressures.
I talked to my mum about buying a new house so the kids can have their own rooms. My current flat is not up to 2 small children!
I hope you are feeling a bit better susie, it's so easy to get lost in the blackness. It then becomes all consuming and food is the only light. But really it just increases the darkness.
I can't say enough how much I admire you. I don't know many people who would step up to the plate the way you are. You are seriously awesome!!
I agree 100%!0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
It's a bit weird to me that she would get like this AFTER trying to find him. My mom had a restraining order against my biological father when I was little, and he signed away his legal right to me, but she would have let me get to know him if I'd wanted. Even now, if I decided I wanted to find him and have a relationship, she'd support me.
For what it's worth, I don't want to know him. I know enough about why there was a restraining order in the first place, and know he would occasionally run into my mom's younger sister (who is a terrible human being - not judgement, just fact) who would give him updates about me (without asking me, of course). I look at it like he never made the effort to follow up, even once I was an adult and my mom couldn't stop him.
I do sometimes wonder if I have half siblings somewhere, but I'm not sure I want to start that kind of relationship at this point even if I did. Too much pressure, you know?
I can imagine her being totally conflicted at only 19, when I'm still unsure at 31. Especially with a strong negative influence behind her. She may just need time (and space - possibly from both sides) to figure out what she wants.
Here's hoping that she comes around!
Thanks & sorry, @CountessKitteh I too had a loser bio dad.
I want her to figure out what she wants, but I will not let her let my husband pay the emotional price (so to speak) while she does it. We are by no means forcing her to have a relationship with us if that's not what she wants, but I will also not continue to pay for her car while my husband is driving a truck older than all the people in this thread if she doesn't want to be a part of our lives. That sounds really heartless I'm sure, but I have to be honest.
That is a "classic" if it is older than me!
1963 Chevy pick up. Matte black with ghost flames and slammed. According to the insurance he's carrying, it's not supposed to be used as a daily driver, so don't tell anyone.
Oh, that's a show truck - not a daily driver! Sounds really awesome.0 -
I see Wonder Woman, also, @quiksylver296. Also, I'm a bit dyslexic (which another reason I have a hard time remembering full screen names) and I always call you "Quickysilver" in my head. That "y" seems to trip me up every time!
Confession: I have to go buy my husband a Father's Day card and gift after work and we're not even on speaking terms right now. This should be fun.
I hope you guys are doing better now. What is going on? I know a lot of people who are having relationship issues right now.
For us, the problem is what I've told him for years: we have three people in our relationship - me, him, and his EGO. Tired of dealing with the ego stuff. Didn't expect someone 10 1/2 years older than me to still have ego and maturity issues. But, it's not all him, of course. I've changed in the past 15 years. I don't complain about or talk about my marriage to anyone IRL, so in the spirit of the thread I just decided to take advantage of it and do a little personal whining.
Thank you for asking. How are YOU? I've been thinking about you and your situation as well.
Sorry that you are going through that. Maybe it's just me but I don't think some guys ever grow out of their ego (sorry guys-it's just my personal observation, I know not everyone is the same).
I'm okay. My boyfriend did come over last night and we talked. I asked him a bunch of questions and he gave me what I believe are honest answers and said he still wants to do counseling. We got along pretty well. I just hope he is actually HEARING what I'm saying.
Not that it is an excuse but his dad died a few years ago and I don't think he's been the same since. I really do think he is suffering from depression. He has a lot less patience and seems angry at the world, withdrawn, wants to sleep a lot etc. From what I read, that seems like depression. I told him he should get some individual help as well.
Yeah, I agree with you on the ego issue.
Ah, I think grief / depression is probably the source. Grief is a difficult, long, personal thing. Every one handles it differently. Some better than others. Sounds like he's trying to bury or mask his pain and depression by purposely causing other issues. REALLY thing counseling would be great for him if he's open to it!0 -
Let's not go there. The fastest way to get this thread closed it for it to turn into a political debate!Italian_Buju wrote: »I confess I do not understand the big debate about taking down that stupid flag! It should have been gone 100 years ago, TAKE IT DOWN!
Sorry, I am so far over that I literally posted this meaning I do not understand what the other side even is! Seriously, I do not even know what the other side has to say or why there is another side....I have been talking about this for years and years and am amazed that something is finally happening.....
I was not trying to start a debate, I do not understand how there even is one......0 -
HahahahahahahaaI still need to catch up but I wanted to vent on something.
No one probably remembers but I have talked about that guy who is on the phone at work all the time and everyone loves him even though he barely works...he just let me know he won some award so he is getting a plaque/prize at 10 today.
I'm like seriously...
Poke him in the eye0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun. ;)
I'm not even totally caught up, but I am SO GLAD you opened up to us here @Susieq_1994 and are giving us all this info, both about your culture and your own personal self. I just gotta let it out: This girl *kitten* rocks!
Same goes for a lot of our regulars: @MoHousdon @Italian_Buju (BTW we are testing some AWESOME stuff here at my facility regarding diabetes, might be while before human clinical trials though.) @BZAH10 @pofoster21 @quiksylver296 @FrancI27 (I hope that's the right one) Sorry if I forgot some peeps! I love this thread so much. I think I love this thread more than I love guacamole.... and that's REALLY saying something.
You, I like. I have been known to make a quick and dirty quacamole (diced avocado, halved grape tomatoes, some salt/garlic/lime juice) for breakfast.
I have never tried guacamole.....or avocado actually....
I keep trying to will myself to like avocado but I can't. It is gross! Bleurgh.
Add me to the avocado aversion side. My sister keeps telling me I will like them if I just keep trying but not gonna happen. Why would I waste calories on something I don't even like?
I tried avocado on my Subway sandwich the one day & imo it tasted like nothing just blah/bland.
Plain avocado IS bland. Avocado made into guacamole is delish!0 -
xMrBunglex wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I confess I do not understand the big debate about taking down that stupid flag! It should have been gone 100 years ago, TAKE IT DOWN!
Agreed. "Southern Pride" my rear end. It's kinda like Germany still flying the red & black swastika. You lost.
Don't you realize the rest of the country thinks you sound like idiots when you try to defend it?
Exactly! Thank you!0 -
Confession - it's not even 9am on the second day of Summer break and I already want to lock my kids in their rooms.
Any summer programs you can put them in like vacation bible school or any programs at the YMCA or other local rec centers? Also, check with your county for summer programs. Some are very cheap or free. For sanity's sake, it's worth a shot. lol
They have 2 camps this year but it's at the end of July and mid August. Didn't want to spend a fortune. We're going in vacations in 10 days anyway. I just wish they would stop bickering.
Oh I see... well until then, might I suggest something like this?
j/k
+ 
0 -
Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »@MoHousdonGlinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
What a horrible woman to deny her child the opportunity of growing up knowing her dad.
BINGO!
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. But it sounds like your step daughter has been under a campaign of parental alienation since she was small. You can google it, it's much more common than people realize but basically it means that one parent deliberately tries to turn the child against the other parent. It takes years. It usually involves lies about what the other parent has done, frivolous law suits and refusal of visitation until the child hates the 'evil' parent.
Your step daughter sounds conflicted. She obviously wants to know her Dad but who knows what stories she has been fed about him (and you?) Has your husband tried to sit down with her and discuss that he always wanted to see her but her mother prevented it? Alienation is SO psychologically damaging to a child and she may still have no idea who or what to believe.
I completely agree with this. And 19 is not nearly old enough to figure out such an emotional, engrained issue by herself. She's basically been brainwashed and has no idea how to resolve the conflict because she's not been given the tools. That is NOT to say that @MoHousdon and her husband have not tried. It's a long process.0 -
noaddedsugarx wrote: »Anyway like I said it's just a bit of an update and now I'm probably gonna go 'poof' again for a little while but I can't wait to come back and catch up on this thread soon as I do miss it. I've caught up on a months worth of posts before so I'm sure I can do it again haha
I'm so sorry about your grandma. It is hard to see people you love suffer so I hope she gets better soon.0 -
Confession - it's not even 9am on the second day of Summer break and I already want to lock my kids in their rooms.
Any summer programs you can put them in like vacation bible school or any programs at the YMCA or other local rec centers? Also, check with your county for summer programs. Some are very cheap or free. For sanity's sake, it's worth a shot. lol
They have 2 camps this year but it's at the end of July and mid August. Didn't want to spend a fortune. We're going in vacations in 10 days anyway. I just wish they would stop bickering.
To keep my kids from bickering so much, I make them a summer schedule - it has built in free time, but mainly has them doing specific things all day like chores, reading, bridge activities, outside play, and I also make them exercise with me. It helps!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
and we have mixmode..I can't remember the correct way to spell it with numbers and such!
Isn't @m1xm0d3 a girl?
I thought he was the single dad cyclist...? Am I confusing/combining people?
Yes, he is the single dad cyclist.
I confess since he rarely talks about 'male things' (I am sure because of us) I think he is male as well. And I am SURE he will be thrilled we ever questioned it. We love you @m1xm0d3! Don't leave us!
This cracked me up... I will forever think of him as mixmode now!
I too hope he's not offended and leaves! I know he's busy at work, but I hope he appears again. Also, I "read" letters as numbers sometimes, so "mixmode" is exactly how I read it, also.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I confess I do not understand the big debate about taking down that stupid flag! It should have been gone 100 years ago, TAKE IT DOWN!
Agreed. "Southern Pride" my rear end. It's kinda like Germany still flying the red & black swastika. You lost.
Don't you realize the rest of the country thinks you sound like idiots when you try to defend it?
Exactly! Thank you!
Agreed! (And we should definitely get off of this topic quickly.)
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
I confess I was actually going to post TODAY that my confession is that I think I run off all the men in this thread. Example:
-- I asked @tincanonastring if he worked at my company, he asked me if I was stalking him (I deduced where he came from by his posts) and within a week he was gone.
-- I started engaging with @AgentOrangeJuice on messaging (he expressed sympathy about Oberon, I asked him about his new job, etc.) he disappeared.
-- @flatasapancake posted a new chest picture, I said impressive! You are slowly working your way around your body, is your *kitten* next and he never came back.
I have checked on all of them...they are all still posting (not much from @AgentOrangeJuice though so he may truly be busy).
Like in real life, I scare all the men away. Sigh.
No, do not blame yourself! It's kind of funny, when you type it out like that, but I highly doubt it has anything to do with you!0
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