Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »You guys (ladies?), I have something I need to confess to all of you (especially to all of those awesome people who added me as friends).
So, here's the thing: I wasn't ever planning to confess this in here, because I didn't want to offend anyone or make anyone feel guilty. A small part of me was also afraid that it would backfire and I would get taunted, but after knowing everyone for a while, I'm sure it wouldn't happen. I've honestly been sitting here in front of my screen for an hour, trying to get up the courage to confess this to everyone here, and as I type this I'm beginning to cry.
Basically, I have an extreme phobia of profanity of any kind--whether it's typed or verbally spoken. It triggers my anxiety and my FND in a really big way, and this is one of the reasons that sticking with this thread has been a huge challenge for me. I was able to stick with it mostly because of MFP's profanity filters--otherwise I would be long gone due to a level of anxiety that I really can't handle.
Now, this poses a problem for me. While I'm really, really happy to have all of you add me as friends, my MFP feed doesn't have the profanity filter that the forums have, and I need my feed to be "safe" for me. Lately I've been scared and anxious whenever I open MFP, for fear of what I might read on the feed.
I just wanted to tell all of you who have been so kind to add me, that while I don't expect you to filter what you post on your MFP, I really don't want you to be offended if I delete you for usage of profanity. It DOES NOT MEAN that I don't like you or that I don't want to be your friend--this is just an issue that I have a terrible, terrible fear of and really can't handle. I honestly contemplated making a second account to log my food so I wouldn't have to look at the feed on this one so I wouldn't end up deleting or alienating any one of you--I decided that it was best to bite the bullet and tell the truth.
Please don't be offended, because I truly don't mean to offend anyone. I'm sorry if I've made anyone feel bad or guilty or angry at me by this confession.
No judgement and all that, right?
thanks for letting us know Susie. Its quite important because none of us would want to deliberately upset you.
I will endeavour to moderate my language, apologise in advance for any that slip through, and understand if you want to unfriend me - i won't take it personally
I am sorry... I did this in a message to you...I was just saying this AM that I need to stop swearing. So from now on...no more swearing in my feed or comments or messages. Susieq...you are making us better people!
I really appreciate it! I consider you a good friend, and I hate that I feel so anxious about having you on my list(s). You guys don't know how much it means when you try to make accommodations for me--I truly didn't expect it, and I have a major case of the warm fuzzies right now. Thank you all.0 -
@spamarie I'm happy you finally have an appointment booked, yayyy!! Are you going to want to know the gender of the baby before hand or are you going to wait and be surprised? I'm sorry if someone else has already asked this and I missed it!
It's way too early to find out the gender (it's only the 12 week scan) but I plan on leaving it a surprise anyway. That kid better not be flashing me too obviously when the 20 week scan comes, I don't want to know!
I never found out either. I figured there are not nearly enough (good) surprises in life 0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »yesterday afternoon i had plans to take my mom to see jurassic world. yesterday we also had a massive storm that dumped tons of rain. it was still slightly raining when i left the house to meet her at the theater. of course i'm perpetually late for everything and was probably driving a smidge too fast for the road conditions.
then i started to fishtail on the four lane highway, and i completely can't pull out of it, totally lose control, the car does a full 360 spin across the two lanes of oncoming traffic and i bounce off of the opposing guardrail.
by some tiny miracle, no one was coming when i crossed lanes. if anyone had been, i probably would have killed them and myself. so i'm on the wrong side of the road facing the wrong direction. see no one coming at me head on, and drive back over to the right side of the road to a stoplight. this dude pulls up in the lane next to me and is like ARE YOU OK?!?!! i'm all shaky and say yeah, i think so. light turns green and i drive on to the theater like everything is fine.
i meet up with my mom and i'm like, i think i might have just almost died, and explain the whole thing to her and she's like... well maybe you should slow the hell down. and i say no, this was REALLY scary, and she's just like yeah, i've done it before too. slow down.
thanks mom!
confession: my mother's total lack of empathy and concern really ticks me off sometimes....
I confess I might be a lot like your mom.
THANK YOU! Not to be mean to @KylerJaye at ALL, but I seriously lack empathy. My youngest son is a drama queen, so if you ask him I'm the worst person EVER. He over-dramatizes everything and I'm more of the "suck it up, buttercup!" kind of mom. His dad would take him to the ER when he was little over a bloody nose and I, on the other hand, when he called me in the middle of the night after totaling his truck told him to just drive home.
In my defense, I'm completely out of it if I'm woken up abruptly and incoherent. Of course, I woke up more and realized what happened and went and got him, but yeah, that's what he's had to deal with. Sorry, child!
My husband has serious back issues at times, but is also a wimp when it comes to pain. One time he needed me to help him out of bed and called me into the bedroom FOUR separate times saying he was going to get up, but then couldn't do it. Finally, I told him, "It's like ripping off a Band-Aid - just get up already!" Epic lack of empathy.
it's not that i expect her to fall over herself about it (i know better), but just once can i get an "are you ok?" before the metaphorical smack upside the head? which after 34 years, i absolutely know is coming
honestly, with most things... i'm pretty much the same way. once the initial adrenaline rush subsides, i revert back to the pick yourself up, brush it off and keep on going mindset.
and it really just occurred to me that this could also help explain why i've never had that "rock bottom" with drinking. nothing has ever been catastrophic enough to incite change because in my head, there is no such thing...
...and somehow i'm 12 pages behind again.0 -
Wow, @pofoster21, I am loving your kitchen and bathroom! Very jealous of your shower, especially the little nooks for some reason.0
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kellienw335 wrote: »
Considering the heat of the summers in Oman, when I was a kid we used to buy them and leave the foil packets on the dashboard of the car on the way home. Then they were all warm and soft and melty... Mmm. I can definitely think of better desserts, but I still love poptarts!
@pofoster21 It's all so pretty! We just live in a rented apartment, so I have to live with the terrible plastic cupboards and nasty uneven counters. I don't mind it, though--as tiny as it is, it's the best kitchen I've had in a long time, and best of all, it's ALL MINE.
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I've done it both ways - either is great!riderfangal wrote: »@spamarie I'm happy you finally have an appointment booked, yayyy!! Are you going to want to know the gender of the baby before hand or are you going to wait and be surprised? I'm sorry if someone else has already asked this and I missed it!
It's way too early to find out the gender (it's only the 12 week scan) but I plan on leaving it a surprise anyway. That kid better not be flashing me too obviously when the 20 week scan comes, I don't want to know!
I never found out either. I figured there are not nearly enough (good) surprises in life
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@pofoster21 - Nice!!0
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I confess I just traded my nice, healthy lunch that usually I love to eat and am always pleased with for a 4" diameter chocolate cake with vanilla frosting. Why? Because it was in the reduced bakery section for only $1.40. I followed that up by eating about 20 cinnamon donut holes. Why? Because they were also reduced down to only $.70 !! While they were delicious, and I can afford to eat this way on some days because of the amount of exercise I do and deficit I keep, I feel like I'm going to die. I know that in a couple hours when this sugar high wears off, I'll be feeling even worse and craving more sugar. Ughh!
Why oh why can't I eat sweets in moderation? I had been doing so well. This morning's weigh in showed that I lost 3 of the pounds that I had put on from my emotional bingeing this past year.
Ok done complaining.0 -
I got a haircut. I was getting too hot and wanted to get shorter hair for this Summer.
And I don't like it at all. I guess it will grow back 0 -
Stupid tray of Ghirardelli brownies my mom made while staying over to watch my daughter. Dang her for bringing that crap in to my house! Taunting me.... I had about a 3x3 inch square. >_<
Hey, now, with all the cycling you do that amount doesn't even seem confession-worthy! But glad you're still here with us.
LOL true. If my mom had not been there though I would have ate the entire pan. I hope they are all gone when I get home today.0 -
riderfangal wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Especially @orangesmartie--your advice (to me and even to other posters) has been really helpful in "talking me off the cliff", so to speak. Also, Charlie is seriously adorable. Can I have him?
Heehee, sorry no, he's my lovely little boy and I seriously adore him, he is the centre of my world (and I hate children). I'm quite looking forward to my niece coming along too, when I ignore the financial and time pressures.
I talked to my mum about buying a new house so the kids can have their own rooms. My current flat is not up to 2 small children!
I hope you are feeling a bit better susie, it's so easy to get lost in the blackness. It then becomes all consuming and food is the only light. But really it just increases the darkness.
I can't say enough how much I admire you. I don't know many people who would step up to the plate the way you are. You are seriously awesome!!
THIS! sooooo many times over.0 -
@pofoster21 - Love the remodel. It looks gorgeous!
Confession: After posting in the What was your moment thread, I have completely lost my appetite at the moment. It reminded me of how much work I have ahead of me and how little effort it seems that I have put in so far. I know I should be further along in my progress and I am working to improve that. Maybe this little retrospective look at myself will be what I need to push harder and pay more attention to my food.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Considering the heat of the summers in Oman, when I was a kid we used to buy them and leave the foil packets on the dashboard of the car on the way home. Then they were all warm and soft and melty... Mmm. I can definitely think of better desserts, but I still love poptarts!
@pofoster21 It's all so pretty! We just live in a rented apartment, so I have to live with the terrible plastic cupboards and nasty uneven counters. I don't mind it, though--as tiny as it is, it's the best kitchen I've had in a long time, and best of all, it's ALL MINE.
We rent too, and my kitchen is...something. It's a shame, because it's got high-end, stainless, new Samsung appliances and is very, very modern, but it is NOT MY STYLE AT ALL. We have shiny red cupboards, stainless steel backsplash, stark white countertops and tile floor and bright white nuclear holocaust lighting, and it's just the opposite of what I would have chosen (anything but that fingerprint-y awful stainless...whites and pale blues and light woods, maybe with some navy and red accents, nothing lacquered and nothing stark.)
Objectively it is a stylish kitchen but I hate it a lot. And we have a tiny highrise apartment so it's a narrow galley kitchen too and I would give my right toes for decent counter space and more storage.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »I confess I just traded my nice, healthy lunch that usually I love to eat and am always pleased with for a 4" diameter chocolate cake with vanilla frosting. Why? Because it was in the reduced bakery section for only $1.40. I followed that up by eating about 20 cinnamon donut holes. Why? Because they were also reduced down to only $.70 !! While they were delicious, and I can afford to eat this way on some days because of the amount of exercise I do and deficit I keep, I feel like I'm going to die. I know that in a couple hours when this sugar high wears off, I'll be feeling even worse and craving more sugar. Ughh!
Why oh why can't I eat sweets in moderation? I had been doing so well. This morning's weigh in showed that I lost 3 of the pounds that I had put on from my emotional bingeing this past year.
Ok done complaining.
Congrats on the three pound loss that is huge. Good work!!!0 -
Confession: I'm seriously considering the intermittent fasting diet. I'm clearly not getting anywhere with the old fashioned calorie counting and I'm actually getting quite desperate now. I want to book a doctors appointment but I think they will say the same thing as my mum "Why don't you join weight watchers or slimming world" Yea, I don't want to pay someone to watch me stand on a scale.
I'm also considering taking all the money I have saved for a deposit on a house and getting someone to just suck all the fat out of me.
It's all feeling very hopeless at the moment
So sorry this is still happening. WW never worked for me and we don't have SW here in the states, that I know of. It sounds like you're doing everything right, so thinking it would be a good idea to see the doctor again. Did they check your thyroid and vitamin D levels last time? (Hugs)0 -
I'm currently using my building's gym due to a fluctuating schedule. For some reason, the people who use this gym don't seem to be aware of any gym etiquette and two out of the four times I've been there now, someone has stepped over me while I am working to get to a different part of the gym.
So, granted it's a small gym, but I cannot fathom a disregard for the fact that someone is lying on a mat with two 15 lb weights in her hands.
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »@FroggyBug How are you doing?
Thanks for asking. I'm doing okay. I did a small update a few pages back but I think it was passed over. My boyfriend and I actually talked a lot on Sunday. I was able to ask a bunch of questions and I really do think he answered truthfully. He still wants to do counseling. We are kind of both taking some space too.
I think he is depressed too. His dad passed away a few years ago and he hasn't been the same since (no excuse though-he needs to deal with stuff). He is withdrawn, angry at the world and less patient. I think that is the biggest reason we are having issues really. I told him he needs to think about getting help for himself.
At least I slept better last night.
How are you doing?0 -
@kellyjellybellyjelly Yeah, I enjoy my One right now but kind of want to "upgrade" to something new because I just came across some extra cash.0
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Italian_Buju wrote: »Ok guys last night I was dreaming about this thread.....like literally in the dream I was sitting here with my laptop reading and posting......
Sorry this made me laugh. 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Considering the heat of the summers in Oman, when I was a kid we used to buy them and leave the foil packets on the dashboard of the car on the way home. Then they were all warm and soft and melty... Mmm. I can definitely think of better desserts, but I still love poptarts!
@pofoster21 It's all so pretty! We just live in a rented apartment, so I have to live with the terrible plastic cupboards and nasty uneven counters. I don't mind it, though--as tiny as it is, it's the best kitchen I've had in a long time, and best of all, it's ALL MINE.
We rent too, and my kitchen is...something. It's a shame, because it's got high-end, stainless, new Samsung appliances and is very, very modern, but it is NOT MY STYLE AT ALL. We have shiny red cupboards, stainless steel backsplash, stark white countertops and tile floor and bright white nuclear holocaust lighting, and it's just the opposite of what I would have chosen (anything but that fingerprint-y awful stainless...whites and pale blues and light woods, maybe with some navy and red accents, nothing lacquered and nothing stark.)
Objectively it is a stylish kitchen but I hate it a lot. And we have a tiny highrise apartment so it's a narrow galley kitchen too and I would give my right toes for decent counter space and more storage.
LOL! I call that 'surgical theater' lighting. And add me to the stainless steel haters club. It's the worst.0 -
Confession: I'm seriously considering the intermittent fasting diet. I'm clearly not getting anywhere with the old fashioned calorie counting and I'm actually getting quite desperate now. I want to book a doctors appointment but I think they will say the same thing as my mum "Why don't you join weight watchers or slimming world" Yea, I don't want to pay someone to watch me stand on a scale.
I'm also considering taking all the money I have saved for a deposit on a house and getting someone to just suck all the fat out of me.
It's all feeling very hopeless at the moment What is your current routine? Have you thought of changing it up to do some Crossfit or weight training, cycling 
.... or anything HIIT to really kick it up a notch?
Also, I would seriously consider taking measurements and use that as a base for comparison rather than a number on the scale. Heck I don't even measure. Once every 2 weeks I gauge myself by trying on clothes I know are too small. Regardless what action you take, good luck. 0 -
noaddedsugarx wrote: »Hey guys. Haven't really been on here but I logged on on my laptop for the first time in a while and noticed I had a few notifications just wondering how things are so I thought I would check in. Thank you for thinking of me! It's been a tough couple of weeks.
My Grandma is still in hospital. As they said the bruising on her brain caused it to swell. In the first few days she was opening her eyes and acknowledging when we were there by making sounds but then it stopped and she kind of drifted. The pressure on her brain has caused her to have confirmed brain damage on the left side but no one knows how this will affect her yet. They were trying to find out why she was become less alert and her temperature was spiking and they discovered she has pneumonia which she's on antibiotics for now. They are wanting her to have an operation to relieve some of the pressure but have to wait until any signs of infection have gone - also she's an anesthetic risk.
She had two lumbar punctures to drain some of the fluid on her brain over the weekend and when I went to see her today she seemed to have improved. She was opening her eyes, although not really focusing but I could tell she knew I was there. Still unable to talk though. Just hoping she gets well enough for this operation and then shows some further improvement.
The whole situation is so heart-breaking. I've spent every day with my Grandma for so long I hate seeing her like this so much. But it's just a waiting game and I have to try and stay positive.
Anyway like I said it's just a bit of an update and now I'm probably gonna go 'poof' again for a little while but I can't wait to come back and catch up on this thread soon as I do miss it. I've caught up on a months worth of posts before so I'm sure I can do it again haha
*hugs* for you. i am so sorry this is happening with your grandma. i wish her and you the best.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Please don't be offended, because I truly don't mean to offend anyone. I'm sorry if I've made anyone feel bad or guilty or angry at me by this confession. No judgement and all that, right?
I'm glad you decided to confess this. This would be a REALLY hard phobia to have since profanity is seen/heard everywhere these days. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. I'm trying to think back on whether or not I've said anything bad here. Hopefully not. If so, sorry!
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Considering the heat of the summers in Oman, when I was a kid we used to buy them and leave the foil packets on the dashboard of the car on the way home. Then they were all warm and soft and melty... Mmm. I can definitely think of better desserts, but I still love poptarts!
@pofoster21 It's all so pretty! We just live in a rented apartment, so I have to live with the terrible plastic cupboards and nasty uneven counters. I don't mind it, though--as tiny as it is, it's the best kitchen I've had in a long time, and best of all, it's ALL MINE.
We rent too, and my kitchen is...something. It's a shame, because it's got high-end, stainless, new Samsung appliances and is very, very modern, but it is NOT MY STYLE AT ALL. We have shiny red cupboards, stainless steel backsplash, stark white countertops and tile floor and bright white nuclear holocaust lighting, and it's just the opposite of what I would have chosen (anything but that fingerprint-y awful stainless...whites and pale blues and light woods, maybe with some navy and red accents, nothing lacquered and nothing stark.)
Objectively it is a stylish kitchen but I hate it a lot. And we have a tiny highrise apartment so it's a narrow galley kitchen too and I would give my right toes for decent counter space and more storage.
LOL! I call that 'surgical theater' lighting. And add me to the stainless steel haters club. It's the worst.
I've used every kind of cleaner from special stainless stuff to Windex to furniture polish to Barkeeper's Friend and baking soda and it's all useless. Worst trend.
My kitchen looks like a tiny version of this:
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Sorry I missed that previously. It's great that you're talking honestly, and that he wants to make the effort. It does sound like he would benefit from some individual counselling too. Everyone taking a step back and a deep breath is good - it will definitely help with perspective.xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »@FroggyBug How are you doing?
Thanks for asking. I'm doing okay. I did a small update a few pages back but I think it was passed over. My boyfriend and I actually talked a lot on Sunday. I was able to ask a bunch of questions and I really do think he answered truthfully. He still wants to do counseling. We are kind of both taking some space too.
I think he is depressed too. His dad passed away a few years ago and he hasn't been the same since (no excuse though-he needs to deal with stuff). He is withdrawn, angry at the world and less patient. I think that is the biggest reason we are having issues really. I told him he needs to think about getting help for himself.
At least I slept better last night.
How are you doing?
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »I confess I just traded my nice, healthy lunch that usually I love to eat and am always pleased with for a 4" diameter chocolate cake with vanilla frosting. Why? Because it was in the reduced bakery section for only $1.40. I followed that up by eating about 20 cinnamon donut holes. Why? Because they were also reduced down to only $.70 !! While they were delicious, and I can afford to eat this way on some days because of the amount of exercise I do and deficit I keep, I feel like I'm going to die. I know that in a couple hours when this sugar high wears off, I'll be feeling even worse and craving more sugar. Ughh!
Why oh why can't I eat sweets in moderation? I had been doing so well. This morning's weigh in showed that I lost 3 of the pounds that I had put on from my emotional bingeing this past year.
Ok done complaining.
Damn reduced priced items get me everytime! The frugal slickdealer that I am just cant allow myself to pass up a cheap treat!
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I actually really like that, but I don't know that I'd want to live with it!AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Considering the heat of the summers in Oman, when I was a kid we used to buy them and leave the foil packets on the dashboard of the car on the way home. Then they were all warm and soft and melty... Mmm. I can definitely think of better desserts, but I still love poptarts!
@pofoster21 It's all so pretty! We just live in a rented apartment, so I have to live with the terrible plastic cupboards and nasty uneven counters. I don't mind it, though--as tiny as it is, it's the best kitchen I've had in a long time, and best of all, it's ALL MINE.
We rent too, and my kitchen is...something. It's a shame, because it's got high-end, stainless, new Samsung appliances and is very, very modern, but it is NOT MY STYLE AT ALL. We have shiny red cupboards, stainless steel backsplash, stark white countertops and tile floor and bright white nuclear holocaust lighting, and it's just the opposite of what I would have chosen (anything but that fingerprint-y awful stainless...whites and pale blues and light woods, maybe with some navy and red accents, nothing lacquered and nothing stark.)
Objectively it is a stylish kitchen but I hate it a lot. And we have a tiny highrise apartment so it's a narrow galley kitchen too and I would give my right toes for decent counter space and more storage.
LOL! I call that 'surgical theater' lighting. And add me to the stainless steel haters club. It's the worst.
I've used every kind of cleaner from special stainless stuff to Windex to furniture polish to Barkeeper's Friend and baking soda and it's all useless. Worst trend.
My kitchen looks like a tiny version of this:
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Me too. I speak what my husband sweetly calls 'the language of Chaucer' (i.e. profanity-loaded) in real life. Not so much here I think, but I will pay attention!Susieq_1994 wrote: »Please don't be offended, because I truly don't mean to offend anyone. I'm sorry if I've made anyone feel bad or guilty or angry at me by this confession. No judgement and all that, right?
I'm glad you decided to confess this. This would be a REALLY hard phobia to have since profanity is seen/heard everywhere these days. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. I'm trying to think back on whether or not I've said anything bad here. Hopefully not. If so, sorry!
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I actually really like that, but I don't know that I'd want to live with it!AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Considering the heat of the summers in Oman, when I was a kid we used to buy them and leave the foil packets on the dashboard of the car on the way home. Then they were all warm and soft and melty... Mmm. I can definitely think of better desserts, but I still love poptarts!
@pofoster21 It's all so pretty! We just live in a rented apartment, so I have to live with the terrible plastic cupboards and nasty uneven counters. I don't mind it, though--as tiny as it is, it's the best kitchen I've had in a long time, and best of all, it's ALL MINE.
We rent too, and my kitchen is...something. It's a shame, because it's got high-end, stainless, new Samsung appliances and is very, very modern, but it is NOT MY STYLE AT ALL. We have shiny red cupboards, stainless steel backsplash, stark white countertops and tile floor and bright white nuclear holocaust lighting, and it's just the opposite of what I would have chosen (anything but that fingerprint-y awful stainless...whites and pale blues and light woods, maybe with some navy and red accents, nothing lacquered and nothing stark.)
Objectively it is a stylish kitchen but I hate it a lot. And we have a tiny highrise apartment so it's a narrow galley kitchen too and I would give my right toes for decent counter space and more storage.
LOL! I call that 'surgical theater' lighting. And add me to the stainless steel haters club. It's the worst.
I've used every kind of cleaner from special stainless stuff to Windex to furniture polish to Barkeeper's Friend and baking soda and it's all useless. Worst trend.
My kitchen looks like a tiny version of this:
When we signed the lease, I thought it was passable (and I was happy about the high-end fridge, oven, dishwasher, etc.), but after three years I hate it with every fibre of my being. My kingdom for some soft colours and actual wood of some kind and a decent backsplash.0
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