Boyfriends standards of weight?

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Replies

  • aimez23
    aimez23 Posts: 17 Member
    Get rid of 70kg and dump him.
  • aimez23
    aimez23 Posts: 17 Member
    Also, your weight is ideal. At your height weighing 10kg less would be verging on dangerous!!!
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    edited November 2016
    Jakep2323 wrote: »
    It struck me as strange. You know what you need to do - 9 pages saying the same thing can't be wrong mate

    Hey look, we agree! ;)
  • PeachesNcreamgal
    PeachesNcreamgal Posts: 357 Member
    OP my mom's in an abusive relation with my dad. He belittles her like crazy, he's hit her a couple of times, oh he's a lawyer btw:) he threatens to beat her up when they fight. I have nightmares of him strangling my mom,seriously!! She doesn't want to leave him. She loves him and will never leave him(typical indian woman she is who thinks her husband is god) i have become mentally ill and am seeing a shrink and a homeopathic counsellor for a range of other issues as well. But the atmosphere in my house is so poisonous! Imagine your kids growing up to be like me-> jobless, suicidal and depressed. Leave him or at least don't have kids with him.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    You need to forget the reasons not to leave him before it becomes too late to do so
  • kittehkitteh88
    kittehkitteh88 Posts: 40 Member
    Your boyfriend is breaking the law, please call 0808 2000 247 and get some advice - you don't have to give your name or any details, just request some advice
  • sllm1
    sllm1 Posts: 2,130 Member
    I think you need therapy for thinking this is okay.
  • DBrooks1979
    DBrooks1979 Posts: 350 Member
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    I can't help but feel this is a troll. The OP has ignored every iota of help and advice.

    I don't really know how to prove it to you, this is about 0.1% of the total messages that are like this but just to see that I am being serious about this, and this is just over text. There are other reasons why I can't leave him too.
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    sounds like a lot of manipulation .. he wants to MOLD YOU.. he doesn't want you.. he wants a Doll he can mold.. I am sure your not a lazy person.. your a very bright and beautiful young lady.. if he can't see that and accept that then Ellie.. I am sorry I know its hard but you have to start accepting that this is Abuse and you don't and shouldn't stand for it... You have a choice to make. Please serious think about all that has been said in this thread and in the messages exchanged ...
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    I can't help but feel this is a troll. The OP has ignored every iota of help and advice.

    There are other reasons why I can't leave him too.


    @Leaz947 No. There is absolutely not a single reason in this world why you "can't" leave him. You can. You're making excuses for him and making excuses not to leave. He is a piece of trash. Get out before it gets worse, because it WILL get worse. There is no stopping it or changing him. He is not worth it.
  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
    Unsure why you won't leave this chump or why you're looking for advice when I'm pretty sure you knew everyone would say it's an unhealthy relationship and you shouldn't be with him.
  • Leaz947
    Leaz947 Posts: 69 Member
    edited November 2016
    newmeadow wrote: »
    My stars OP. Your texts are so visceral, so base, so street. Where did the refined young teenager from MFP go? You must have been saving up all your fire for your man...

    He prefers for me to talk like that, he doesn't like me being logical, which includes me writing like this, he said it sounds cold and plastic and that women can't be logical.
    When it comes to him, as pathetic as it may seem, I just turn into my begging mode and yet I don't know why. However, some of you will be proud to know that I have gathered the courage (and it's really thanks to you guys, seriously) to ask him for a break at least and to break up if he doesn't change how he acts to me. His reaction was similar to the texts but about 10 times worse but I held my point. Going to see where it goes from here, I'll probably know what is going to happen better tomorrow or the day after.
  • natnicks319
    natnicks319 Posts: 12 Member
    break up with the malnourished twig
  • Calyse90
    Calyse90 Posts: 147 Member
    I agree with everyone else, Been there done that , but do whats best for you, you'll know when your tired/fed up
  • Leaz947
    Leaz947 Posts: 69 Member
    break up with the malnourished twig

    He is a normal weight but he is the same height as me, that might be why so many of you think that he is underweight.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    break up with the malnourished twig

    He is a normal weight but he is the same height as me, that might be why so many of you think that he is underweight.

    That's hardly the point of this thread, now is it?
  • natnicks319
    natnicks319 Posts: 12 Member
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    break up with the malnourished twig

    He is a normal weight but he is the same height as me, that might be why so many of you think that he is underweight.

    im glad you replied. do you honestly think he is healthy? not nutritionally, not physically.. but is your relationship really healthy? excuse my french but he sounds like a bit of a douche. you have successfully lost kgs and took control of your weight and he still puts you down... time for a break, maybe?
  • ashorey87
    ashorey87 Posts: 173 Member
    I know violence isn't justifiable....but so help me, if ANY man I was dating ever spoke to me like that, I'd f-ing deck him. Why do women (or men for that matter, it does go both ways) put up with such BS in relationships?
  • CurlyCockney
    CurlyCockney Posts: 1,394 Member
    There are people who happily consent to this kind of relationship, but consent is key.
  • simbartes
    simbartes Posts: 64 Member
    Hi,
    I have been in this sort of relationship before myself and to be honest he is not going to change. Eventually his attitude made it virtually impossible for me to be happy, nothing made him happy. My honest advice is to leave him. If you cant bring yourself to leave him permanently then just take a two month break from seeing him. That should be enough to realize how you are allowing him to control you. You choose your own misery my friend!
  • aliem
    aliem Posts: 326 Member
    I think that is a lot silly. You really aren't that heavy. I have not seen pictures, but you couldn't be more than a tad squishy, because of your height. While you probably could get down another 10kg, it's going to be hard to stay there since you would pretty much have to be "perfect". I put perfect in quotes because that goal is my goal as someone who is 6 inches shorter than you. Yes, while I can get a little bit lower than that (like maybe 8 pounds at the most), it will be a pain to maintain. Would always have to watch what I eat and spend a ton of time at the gym! Your boyfriend is a pretty light male. Unless he's pretty short, his BMI is on the low side of average. If he is so offended by his weight being so close to yours, maybe he should bulk up a bit.

    Only lose weight if you want to. If he doesn't like it, then maybe he's not the supportive person you need in your life. Even when I was squishier and started to work out more and go on a diet, my boyfriend always told me that I did not need to lose any weight, because I was perfect in his eyes. He also supports my weight loss goals, but always reminds me that I don't need to lose any weight. I would hope that he would never be critical of my weight unless I am unhealthy (i.e. either going too far in weight loss or gained so much that it starts to affect my health/our relationship). And even then, I know he would be respectful about it and love me no matter what. I think he needs to work on himself. You could maybe try counseling, but it really seems like he needs to figure out why he's so mean. I had a very similar relationship with my mom (called fat, stupid, etc.) and it's not healthy. Went through depression and eating disorders and was generally miserable. She has not changed and guess what! I had to cut her out of my life. It took a long time before I recognized that it was abuse. I did not want to cut her out of my life, but now I am so much happier and living for me. So I recommend that either he shapes up, or you get out. It's hard, but it might just wind up saving you a world of hurt in the future.