Ask a mortician

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Replies

  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
    Truly interesting thread. How is the book coming along? Is that person still coughing when you're alone?
  • _BrewingAZ_
    _BrewingAZ_ Posts: 252 Member

    The tackiest thing I've ever seen was a guy who showed up to his girlfriend's funeral drunk.He wasn't a pleasant one either. He went up to the casket and began making out with her. When the service was over and it was time to close the casket, he went into a rage and started calling us mother effers for closing it.

    OH DEAR GOD....
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    edited February 2017
    Savyna wrote: »
    Truly interesting thread. How is the book coming along? Is that person still coughing when you're alone?

    I have 7 pages so far :| Life has been a little hectic. I still hear the occasional cough.
  • gottennis_2
    gottennis_2 Posts: 204 Member
    I have read most of this so if this has already been asked I apologize for asking again.
    How do you fit very large people who wish to be buried into a casket? Very obese or just very tall?
    Are there special caskets that can be purchased? What about someone who is let's say close to 7' tall.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    I have read most of this so if this has already been asked I apologize for asking again.
    How do you fit very large people who wish to be buried into a casket? Very obese or just very tall?
    Are there special caskets that can be purchased? What about someone who is let's say close to 7' tall.

    We have oversize caskets that are wider and longer for big individuals. The trick to help tall people fit is to bend their knees ;)
  • foxandflora
    foxandflora Posts: 183 Member
    Apologies if it's been asked (I searched but may not have been up on the search terms), but how do you feel about the Order of the Good Death and/or the concept of home funerals? I'd love to get another perspective on this. :smile:
  • Laurie6578
    Laurie6578 Posts: 154 Member
    Lake Tahoe works but I like the idea of the cosmetics counter better..lol
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    Thank you @abrubru
  • nuffer
    nuffer Posts: 402 Member
    abrubru wrote: »
    I started a reading a book called "Stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers" a while back by Mary Roach that deals with alot of what you have been sharing, but also goes into organ donation, donation to science and such. I have read through this whole thread and am impressed with your tactfulness and your thoughtful answers. I also think you should write that book...or at least start keeping notes so that you can write it later (you'd be amazed at what you can forget--even things you never thought you'd forget--over time).

    And I just want to add--in the most un-creepy manner--I hope you realize how adorable you are!

    While we wait for what I'm sure will be an awesome book by the OP, here's another vote for Mary Roach's "Stiff" -- a very illuminating description about the process and business of death. She also does a great job covering the efforts to try and weigh the human soul. Highly recommended.
  • kwph
    kwph Posts: 7,375 Member
    "You've seen one ,you've seen them all" ...Ur Adorable ....
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,973 Member
    By law, is it necessary to have a concrete barrier surrounding the grave?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    By law, is it necessary to have a concrete barrier surrounding the grave?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    In Tennessee, vaults are not required by law. Each cemetery has their own rules.Most city cemeteries require them and ones out in the rural areas do not.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,973 Member
    Are you typing and embalming at the same time right now? ;)

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • LittleLionHeart1
    LittleLionHeart1 Posts: 3,655 Member
    Have you seen this movie "Bernie" staring Jack Black? Its kinda funny, kinda creepy, and kinda true.
    https://youtu.be/YJuhWKcY_6U
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    Yes and I loved it! He's out on parole now.
  • LittleLionHeart1
    LittleLionHeart1 Posts: 3,655 Member
    Oh wow. I didn't know that. And I'm glad. :)
  • Flyingwarrior1966
    Flyingwarrior1966 Posts: 21 Member
    Why do you drain the blood exactly, to preserve the body I know...but why, would it not hold up,for the funeral? What happens to all the waste....etc...bio company comes, removes, burns? Is there a smell in the retort room? Do the ashes smell? People always say never bury the person with jewelry because people steal it..but do they really? Are you ever scared being alone in the funeral home. Do you believe In The Afterlife? Thank you.
  • kwil74
    kwil74 Posts: 42 Member
    Lol this thread though..How does this fit in with diet, excersise my fitness pal* Im so confused right now hahaha
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,973 Member
    Have you buried any one famous? Or anyone hated?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • paulmidi
    paulmidi Posts: 5 Member
    Have you every dealt with someone who had Alopecia? What were your thoughts on that?
  • kellylynnshonting
    kellylynnshonting Posts: 108 Member
    As a former animal euthanasia technician, I don't know why I haven't thought to ask, but

    1.) Have you ever been asked to do a funeral for an animal? If not, would you?
    2.) To go with #1 - could you embalm an animal or would you even be able too?
    3.) If so, would it be the same as humans? If not, could you elaborate?
    4.) Has anyone ever come in to where you work and asked about the previous two questions (#1 and #2)?
    5.) Have you ever buried a pet (already deceased) with their owner...considering that the animal is cremated? If not, would you and can you (as in would you be allowed)?
    6.) What are your thoughts on animals and the afterlife?
    7.) How, if in any way, does or doesn't it play into your personal beliefs?

    Have I mentioned how fascinating this thread is?
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    edited February 2017
    Why do you drain the blood exactly, to preserve the body I know...but why, would it not hold up,for the funeral? What happens to all the waste....etc...bio company comes, removes, burns? Is there a smell in the retort room? Do the ashes smell? People always say never bury the person with jewelry because people steal it..but do they really? Are you ever scared being alone in the funeral home. Do you believe In The Afterlife? Thank you.
    Times like this make me wish I had kept my embalming text book so I could show y'all pictures. I'll put it on my Amazon wish list right now.

    1)The reason we drain the blood is to slow down decomposition and to stop discoloration. After a few hours the blood will begin to settle at the lowest point like the pulp in orange juice and when it settles it leaves a big bruise which is called post mortem stain. If someone dies face down and lays there for too long, we cannot get all of the discoloration out through embalming. The good news is we can cover almost anything with make up if things don't go well.

    2) A medical waste company picks up our hazardous waste once a month. They burn it at their facility.

    3)Ashes and the retort don't have a smell. It is very dusty though.

    4) I've never had the desire to steal from a dead person. It would be very obvious if you stole something because they family is normally standing there when the casket is closed.

    5) It doesn't scare me a bit. I look forward to the quite days when we don't have anything going in. It's very peaceful and I'm not bothered.

    6) I believe in Heaven and Hell and that our life choices determine where we end up.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Have you buried any one famous? Or anyone hated?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    No, I live in a small town. We don't have anyone famous here.
    paulmidi wrote: »
    Have you every dealt with someone who had Alopecia? What were your thoughts on that?

    No, but I've taken care of several bald men. I think it would be very crappy to lose your hair.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    As a former animal euthanasia technician, I don't know why I haven't thought to ask, but

    1.) Have you ever been asked to do a funeral for an animal? If not, would you?
    2.) To go with #1 - could you embalm an animal or would you even be able too?
    3.) If so, would it be the same as humans? If not, could you elaborate?
    4.) Has anyone ever come in to where you work and asked about the previous two questions (#1 and #2)?
    5.) Have you ever buried a pet (already deceased) with their owner...considering that the animal is cremated? If not, would you and can you (as in would you be allowed)?
    6.) What are your thoughts on animals and the afterlife?
    7.) How, if in any way, does or doesn't it play into your personal beliefs?

    Have I mentioned how fascinating this thread is?

    I've never embalmed an animal. If I could find the carotid artery and the jugular vein, I could do it. No one has ever asked me to, but if they did I would say no. We bury people with their pets ashes all the time. You can put anything you want in the casket with them. In the Bible it mentions animals being in heaven so I believe we'll see our fur children again one day☺
  • nolan44219
    nolan44219 Posts: 1,221 Member
    have you ever had to get someone ready for burial and thought "damn this ole boy should have been an organ donor?"
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