MFP Personals
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OutOfUserName wrote: »if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy
You're a man of few words, I dig it.0 -
OutOfUserName wrote: »if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy
Straight and to the point. I like it.0 -
OutOfUserName wrote: »if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy
I guess I qualify. I might not be mean enough though0 -
I love sharks, but unfortunately i'm poor0
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Seeking a fun lady to hang out with who will share her husband/boyfriend with me
What you'll get:
- time off from your relationship
- to watch us you choose
- backup for whatever you may need
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kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy
Does one need to be awake?
Totally optional0 -
This is both sad and humorous at the same time.0
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One position available for part time side Kik
Person specification:
●understands they'll never understand me
●respects that I will get the ball gag out should they utter one word during my favorite movies
●gets that I will massage ego half the time and assassinate your character the rest of the time
●comprehends that I will never love you, not once, not ever
This person (man or woman) must be willing to take an initiation test,pain threshold test, basic literacy and numeracy test and knowledge of how to please a female is highly desirable, one minute wonders need NOT apply.
This person needs to be adventurous and able to make me laugh until I'm soiled at least 3 times a week. Failure to do so will result in time on my chair of pain and fury After two visits to chair of pain and furyyou will be automatically ghosted for good.
Chance of promotion to mfp husband/wife with added benefits of public performance praise.
I look forward to your applications,
Yours hopefully,
Not trying to be your real life wife4 -
Add me anyone:) I'd love a relationship on here0
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OutOfUserName wrote: »if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy
Please say you'll be mine ..1 -
In search of a burley man with a delicate touch to bend me like a pretzel and make my eyes roll in the back of head.
Must be willing to make random trips to the store when I have sudden food cravings, scratch my back, pop my pimples during shark week, and keep the bed warm while I go out on midnight death calls.5 -
Must be popular and feared across The Caribbean and the coast of eastern North America not only because of your skilled naval tactics and bold actions but also because whenever you have contact with your victims, you strive to put the chills into their bones by mainly your looks.3
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Must be popular and feared across The Caribbean and the coast of eastern North America not only because of your skilled naval tactics and bold actions but also because whenever you have contact with your victims, you strive to put the chills into their bones by mainly your looks.
I regularly clean the lent out of my naval. Is that close enough?2
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