MFP Personals
Replies
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MrStabbems wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
Billy, you are the best!
SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
I hate sorry flowers. Here have something beautiful and watch it die slowly like our relationship.
Exactly! I don't want flowers because you screwed up. Flowers should be a sweet sentiment like you are thinking about someone, not that you are trying to buy yourself out of trouble. LAME
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
lol are you leaking today?
I've only bought flowers once, that was when I proposed. I had them in the room downstairs for the morning.
That was a sweet gesture. Unless the proposal was an "I'm sorry" too?0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
Billy, you are the best!SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
I hate sorry flowers. Here have something beautiful and watch it die slowly like our relationship.
Exactly! I don't want flowers because you screwed up. Flowers should be a sweet sentiment like you are thinking about someone, not that you are trying to buy yourself out of trouble. LAME
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
Do you think that is where the saying '*kitten* your brains out' come from.
"Oh no, she's really mad, better *kitten* her brains out"
Then she's like "oh my God, I think I was mad but I just don't know"
3 -
SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
Billy, you are the best!SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
I hate sorry flowers. Here have something beautiful and watch it die slowly like our relationship.
Exactly! I don't want flowers because you screwed up. Flowers should be a sweet sentiment like you are thinking about someone, not that you are trying to buy yourself out of trouble. LAME
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
Do you think that is where the saying '*kitten* your brains out' come from.
"Oh no, she's really mad, better *kitten* her brains out"
Then she's like "oh my God, I think I was mad but I just don't know"
Hey, great sex will make you forget your own name. I'm just sayin...1 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
Billy, you are the best!SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
I hate sorry flowers. Here have something beautiful and watch it die slowly like our relationship.
Exactly! I don't want flowers because you screwed up. Flowers should be a sweet sentiment like you are thinking about someone, not that you are trying to buy yourself out of trouble. LAME
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
Do you think that is where the saying '*kitten* your brains out' come from.
"Oh no, she's really mad, better *kitten* her brains out"
Then she's like "oh my God, I think I was mad but I just don't know"
Hey, great sex will make you forget your own name. I'm just sayin...
That's the excuse I use for not remembering their name too.
Was so good I forgot your name
ETA notice: this was a joke, just to clarify for the people that like to message me about their sensitivities1 -
SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
Billy, you are the best!SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
I hate sorry flowers. Here have something beautiful and watch it die slowly like our relationship.
Exactly! I don't want flowers because you screwed up. Flowers should be a sweet sentiment like you are thinking about someone, not that you are trying to buy yourself out of trouble. LAME
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
Do you think that is where the saying '*kitten* your brains out' come from.
"Oh no, she's really mad, better *kitten* her brains out"
Then she's like "oh my God, I think I was mad but I just don't know"
Hey, great sex will make you forget your own name. I'm just sayin...
That's the excuse I use for not remembering their name too.
Was so good I forgot your name
ETA notice: this was a joke, just to clarify for the people that like to message me about their sensitivities
I literally LOL'd at that. Just tell them "I forgot my own name, how the hell can I remember yours?" 1 -
OutOfUserName wrote: »SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
Billy, you are the best!SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
I hate sorry flowers. Here have something beautiful and watch it die slowly like our relationship.
Exactly! I don't want flowers because you screwed up. Flowers should be a sweet sentiment like you are thinking about someone, not that you are trying to buy yourself out of trouble. LAME
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
Do you think that is where the saying '*kitten* your brains out' come from.
"Oh no, she's really mad, better *kitten* her brains out"
Then she's like "oh my God, I think I was mad but I just don't know"
Hey, great sex will make you forget your own name. I'm just sayin...
That's the excuse I use for not remembering their name too.
Was so good I forgot your name
ETA notice: this was a joke, just to clarify for the people that like to message me about their sensitivities
well i feel awkward ignore my message then
I'm sorry! I just can't take any more messages from you about your sensitive skin. I'm not an eczema expert man!1 -
AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
wait
There's other occasions?
I thought flowers were only for apologies
.... and funerals0 -
Abrowneyedgirl749 wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
Billy, you are the best!SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.
I can do that!!
Perfect. BRB, ordering you flowers that you won't acknowledge or appreciate!
Awwww. I could never ignore that. I think I have only gotten flowers once or twice that weren't birthday or apology flowers....
I hate sorry flowers. Here have something beautiful and watch it die slowly like our relationship.
Exactly! I don't want flowers because you screwed up. Flowers should be a sweet sentiment like you are thinking about someone, not that you are trying to buy yourself out of trouble. LAME
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
Taking notes.2 -
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »Looking for big spoon. Must like alligators.
I can provide at least a little fork.
And I do need boots.0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
I second this.1 -
Motorsheen wrote: »[
wait
There's other occasions?
I thought flowers were only for apologies
.... and funerals
Sometimes I like to pretend all the flowers we get at the funeral home are for me 3 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
I agree with this! I don't want flowers as an I'm sorry. You better cook me dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards, followed by *kitten* me senseless making me forget why I was mad at you
I second this.
Hi
I'm a fast learner.0 -
Flowers are for saying "hi" I'm thinking of you. Have a great day. Trips to tropical islands are for saying forget everything let's have fun.1
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Nitroalley2 wrote: »
Hi
I'm a fast learner.
Dear Applicant,
We appreciate your interest in LittleHearseDriver Inc. Unfortunately, you do not meet all of our expectations for the Test Driver position. Good luck and best wishes in your future endeavors.
Sincerely, S
CEO/ Founder of LHD, Inc.4 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
Dear Applicant,
We appreciate your interest in LittleHearseDriver Inc. Unfortunately, you do not meet all of our expectations for the Test Driver position. Good luck and best wishes in your future endeavors.
Sincerely, S
CEO/ Founder of LHD, Inc. [/quote]
..... story of my life0 -
wait what are we applying for??0
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Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?0 -
Want to someone who enjoys a BIG personality and a SMAll ego.1
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happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik1 -
This content has been removed.
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.0 -
happilybrad wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.
I find LittleHearseDriver more arousing if I'm honest...0 -
MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.
I find LittleHearseDriver more arousing if I'm honest...
Pitched a tent just reading that.0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Nitroalley2 wrote: »
Hi
I'm a fast learner.
Dear Applicant,
We appreciate your interest in LittleHearseDriver Inc. Unfortunately, you do not meet all of our expectations for the Test Driver position. Good luck and best wishes in your future endeavors.
Sincerely, S
CEO/ Founder of LHD, Inc.
Dear madam,
I was dissappointed to not be considered for a test drive for the position. However if there is a waiting list please kindly add me. I am known for patience and persistence.
Yours in faith
God yes.
0 -
happilybrad wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.
I find LittleHearseDriver more arousing if I'm honest...
Pitched a tent just reading that.
1 -
MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.
I find LittleHearseDriver more arousing if I'm honest...
Pitched a tent just reading that.
Sure is a small tent though0 -
shortgirlsneedlovetoo wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.
I find LittleHearseDriver more arousing if I'm honest...
Pitched a tent just reading that.
Sure is a small tent though
That was the joke my love.
0 -
This content has been removed.
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MrStabbems wrote: »shortgirlsneedlovetoo wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.
I find LittleHearseDriver more arousing if I'm honest...
Pitched a tent just reading that.
Sure is a small tent though
That was the joke my love.
I was just saying to Brad I'd expect a 3 room tent perhaps @happilybrad0 -
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »shortgirlsneedlovetoo wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »happilybrad wrote: »Hi.
I'd like to take a ticket number and put my name on the list for an MFP girlfriend. Where do I fill out the paperwork?
Applications with recommendations can be sent to BigBootyJudy on Kik
You had me at your username.
I find LittleHearseDriver more arousing if I'm honest...
Pitched a tent just reading that.
Sure is a small tent though
but its a big pole.
And strong0
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