MFP Personals
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Pick me!!! I come off as desperate but I promise I will be stingy with money, treat you poorly and ignore you the way you need. No really, pick me. Pick meeeeeeeeee! This ad is REALZ for the future love of my life.1
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I talk a lot during movies, reply hours after read receipts , and like to people watch at Walmart for fun ... lmk1
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Wanted...YOU ..yeah you. Oh and YOU..and you and you2
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Wanted: Anyone will do, I'm not choosy
What you'll get: Whatever you want, name it3 -
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We are meant to be together! I know it's true!
(your name)
(your address)
I am "the one" for you, I have faithfully escorted you (from a short distance behind you) to and from work and on all your daily excursions for the past 3 years.
I watch over and guard you as you sleep from a very close proximity...we've even shared DNA, (your toothbrush is awesome)
There is no denying our compatibility...just look over your shoulder (anytime)...I'm right there...waiting, watching
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Vivian seeking Edward.
Stuckeys need not apply.5 -
Wanted: Man who will fulfill my every desire. Please note my desires change by the second so you must be adaptable. You must enjoy giving massages, grocery shopping, laundry, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and fixing things. Also, only men named Kevin or Sam should apply.
This will only work out for me if you act like I'm an inconvenience every time I ask for the smallest favor.2 -
Looking for alligator. Must like big spoons.3
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Looking for a bad girl, cause nice guys finish last0
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Woman with a full original set of teeth to make bath time fun again.1
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Are you fertile?0
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Seeking a snuggle buddy with good hygiene who will do my laundry, feed me tacos, and share awesome memes and gif's with. Must text me "Good Morning Beautiful" daily before 8 a.m. and tell me I'm pretty a minimum of 5 times per week. Misc duties requested but not required include opening too tight jar lids, killing spiders, mowing the grass shirtless, changing the oil in my car, and playing with my hair.3
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Avocado_AS5 wrote: »Seeking a snuggle buddy with good hygiene who will do my laundry, feed me tacos, and share awesome memes and gif's with. Must text me "Good Morning Beautiful" daily before 8 a.m. and tell me I'm pretty a minimum of 5 times per week. Misc duties requested but not required include opening too tight jar lids, killing spiders, mowing my grass shirtless, changing the oil in my car, and playing with my hair.
I can open the jars and do the car stuff. The rest i can subcontract out.2 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »Seeking a snuggle buddy with good hygiene who will do my laundry, feed me tacos, and share awesome memes and gif's with. Must text me "Good Morning Beautiful" daily before 8 a.m. and tell me I'm pretty a minimum of 5 times per week. Misc duties requested but not required include opening too tight jar lids, killing spiders, mowing the grass shirtless, changing the oil in my car, and playing with my hair.
OK on some. The rest - nothing a little money won't solve.0 -
MrStabbems wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »Seeking a snuggle buddy with good hygiene who will do my laundry, feed me tacos, and share awesome memes and gif's with. Must text me "Good Morning Beautiful" daily before 8 a.m. and tell me I'm pretty a minimum of 5 times per week. Misc duties requested but not required include opening too tight jar lids, killing spiders, mowing my grass shirtless, changing the oil in my car, and playing with my hair.
I can open the jars and do the car stuff. The rest i can subcontract out.
I can do the rest!!! Although I might cause a scene when I mow topless
It's only a scene if someone records it.1
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