What nobody tells you about losing weight

Geocitiesuser wrote: »

nope, all I've cared about from day one was human affection. I haven't had so much as a hug in literally over two years. Lost 130lbs, still can't get a reply on the personals or get a woman to speak to me if I wore sparklers in my ears... All the confidence in the world (or personality) doesn't matter, if people won't even SPEAK to you if they think there's a non platonic motive. I haven't been on a date in going on 3 years... but this is not the right place for that conversation.

I just know that losing 130lbs has not solved the problem, or even improved it in the slightest. There are lots of guys who claim they lost weight and turned into james bond, I wanted to believe the fairy tail. So I have to find different things in life to entertain me as I live out the rest of my days.... a bitter pill that I'm not happy about.

This is off topic, but I felt compelled to reply.

Dating is rough. Anyone who says it isn't is a lying liar who lies or is one of those lucky ducks who met their SO at some ridiculously young age before they really got to experience the horrors of dating.

I was once set up on a date with my cousin. Another guy was a snake breeder and had snakes everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. One guy was living with his grandmother and uncle in a one bedroom assisted living facility and for bonus points turned out to be crazy. And not your run of the mill crazy. I mean seriously worried I might end up on a missing poster crazy, but I digress.

Don't let the fact you haven't been out in a while get you down. Enjoy your life. Do the things you enjoy and enjoy this time to yourself. Someone will come along sooner or later when you least expect it.

My closest guy friend went on a very long no date streak (I think somewhere in the realm of 6+ years) before meeting his wife. He got a bit down about it like you and was always bemoaning how he was going to be alone forever, but he was out enjoying his life (taking dancing classes if you would believe it) and he met her there. They were married within the year and adore each other.

*As an aside and on topic, this does illustrate however that losing weight is no magic pill and it doesn't suddenly make everything in life easy or fix all your problems.

Madwife2009 wrote: »

Lucy1752 wrote: »

That sitting in the sun would be addictive.
I used to not enjoy it at all due to sweating and feeling my clothes stick to me.
When I get home from work now I go out on the deck and take care of the plants, check the flowers, watch the dog romp and roll and generally just ENJOY the sunshine!

I so wish that I could do this, I love the sun. Unfortunately I can't as a medication I'm taking has made me so photosensitive that even sun-block has minimal protection

I wanted to click something, but I just can't 'Like' this or find it 'Awesome'. I would be frustrated to bits if my meds kept me in the shade I think. At least the biking is outdoors, even if it is in the driving rain many times!

I'm sending sunny thoughts - does that count??

Lucy1752 wrote: »

I wanted to click something, but I just can't 'Like' this or find it 'Awesome'. I would be frustrated to bits if my meds kept me in the shade I think. At least the biking is outdoors, even if it is in the driving rain many times!

I'm sending sunny thoughts - does that count??

@Lucy1752 - you're very sweet, thank you for the sunny thoughts.

It's all very frustrating and is messing up my workouts as I have to get up at stupid o'clock in order to get my bike ride in before the sun gets too high in the sky, else I have to wait until late evening, when the bugs like to bite. I was hitting the gym early, before the crowds but the cycling means more to me than the gym so I'm trying to find an alternative time to go to the gym. I could get up even earlier, I suppose. Plus it's not fair on the children as they like to get out in the sunshine - at least the sunblock on them lasts a while. I have to plan to go to places that will be shady (like walks in wooded areas).

Hmm. Not as bad as some of the other side effects though - the hair loss is a nightmare, I only have to touch my hair for a load more to fall out. But the choice is a life of pain, or these (semi-manageable) side effects. Yeah, I'll take the side effects. I've done the pain bit and would rather not go there if it can be avoided.

Trying to keep cheerful about it, I am sure that it will all be sorted out in the end. I have a good consultant on the case and he's trying to find the right drugs/dose, it just takes a while to sort out as we don't know how I'll react to the treatment. And of course, I have to be different and react in weird ways which throws a spanner in the works and confounds everyone.

I like to be different though

I agree with the comfort outdoors comments, but hadn't realized it until reading it here. I actually got my garden planted and have pulled some weeds. The heat and the work don't bother me as much, and I actually WANT to be more active, so it's a nice thing to do on a rest day. Didn't expect that!

brookielaw wrote: »

Hot tip: Ladies- as you lose weight, get measured and re-fitted for bras. Wearing ones that are too big is not only unflattering but can cause medical issues. Today's doctor appointment resulted in antibiotics...and a trip to Victoria's Secret.

I agree! Here's another resource for finding a properly fitting bra! I have been to Victoria's Secret to get measured, but it turns out I need a size that they don't sell! At least not in stores. They were 3 cup sizes and one band size off! This calculator uses 5 measurements instead of 2. I have much better support now!

http://www.brasizecalculator.tk

Finding clothes that fit you.
When you have to tighten that belt.
Former-tight Tees are now oversized tees
Compliments
Not being bloated aaallllll the time
Feeling happy and mentally lighter
Wearing shorts and feeling good.
Not being called pregnant..
Not being bullied by jerks
Having More self confidence
being yourself without feeling constrained
Flexing those muscles

maisiba wrote: »

I also didn't realize how incredibly vanity sized everything is. I've just reached a healthy BMI recently (ie I'm still in my mid/high 140s with 5'5" and not that thin yet) and already wearing size M max and increasingly size S... which feels not "right". What sizes do actually thin people wear then? ...

Another thing I didn't expect... that your body type or form is actually different than you expect. I used to think I had more of an hourglass figure (not extreme but if clothes were too wide, they were normally too wide around the waist) but that's actually not the case. I have sort of narrow hips... who knew?

I think the same thing! I recently got to below my lowest ever adult weight (5'4", 125-128 lbs, never been below 135) and I'm wearing 2s and the occasional 0 in my normal stores (i.e., stores for 20-30 somethings, not teens). A 0 dress at another store was actually too big! Whaaaat? I mean, there are tons of women slimmer than I am, especially on the bottom. Where do slim women my age shop, bc I need to find that store! (And I just shook my fist at Costco the other day--their smallest size in one brand of capris was a 4...read 6/8).

I always thought I had wid hips too--nope, just fat hips. The downside is hips are slim now but thigh saddlebags are still there and look proportionally bigger

That if you're a drinker, you should quit. For so many reasons. Big ones: 1) The same amount affects you more when you're smaller. 2) It's sooooo much easier to lose weight when you don't drink. 3) Hangovers make working out that much harder.

marianlyn wrote: »

brookielaw wrote: »

Hot tip: Ladies- as you lose weight, get measured and re-fitted for bras. Wearing ones that are too big is not only unflattering but can cause medical issues. Today's doctor appointment resulted in antibiotics...and a trip to Victoria's Secret.

I agree! Here's another resource for finding a properly fitting bra! I have been to Victoria's Secret to get measured, but it turns out I need a size that they don't sell! At least not in stores. They were 3 cup sizes and one band size off! This calculator uses 5 measurements instead of 2. I have much better support now!

http://www.brasizecalculator.tk

Thanks for this site! I'm going to get my hubby to help me measure, and see if I can find a better-fitting bra cheaply somewhere. (I'm not done losing yet and really don't have money to spare for clothing, but I only have one bra now that sort-of fits and isn't too uncomfortable so I need to do something!)

A question for any of you ladies who've suffered the "deflated boob" issue that I have (they haven't so much "shrunk" as taken on the appearance of a balloon with half the air let out of it...) - what style of bra have you found is best to help hold up the sagging funbags that used to be your breasts? Seriously, they droop SO much more than they used to when they were big! At least my shoulders and back don't hurt quite so much from carrying all that weight, but I'm still uncomfortable and have the added bonus of feeling old and ugly now too.

P.S. @brookielaw Thanks for sharing your experience - it never occurred to me that an ill-fitting bra could cause that kind of problem!

SueSueDio wrote: »

marianlyn wrote: »

brookielaw wrote: »

Hot tip: Ladies- as you lose weight, get measured and re-fitted for bras. Wearing ones that are too big is not only unflattering but can cause medical issues. Today's doctor appointment resulted in antibiotics...and a trip to Victoria's Secret.

I agree! Here's another resource for finding a properly fitting bra! I have been to Victoria's Secret to get measured, but it turns out I need a size that they don't sell! At least not in stores. They were 3 cup sizes and one band size off! This calculator uses 5 measurements instead of 2. I have much better support now!

http://www.brasizecalculator.tk

Thanks for this site! I'm going to get my hubby to help me measure, and see if I can find a better-fitting bra cheaply somewhere. (I'm not done losing yet and really don't have money to spare for clothing, but I only have one bra now that sort-of fits and isn't too uncomfortable so I need to do something!)

A question for any of you ladies who've suffered the "deflated boob" issue that I have (they haven't so much "shrunk" as taken on the appearance of a balloon with half the air let out of it...) - what style of bra have you found is best to help hold up the sagging funbags that used to be your breasts? Seriously, they droop SO much more than they used to when they were big! At least my shoulders and back don't hurt quite so much from carrying all that weight, but I'm still uncomfortable and have the added bonus of feeling old and ugly now too.

P.S. @brookielaw Thanks for sharing your experience - it never occurred to me that an ill-fitting bra could cause that kind of problem!

Whatever is well-fitted and supportive. The girls just need some support, and all too often it comes down to improperly sized bra or picking one that isn't up to the task.

Even "deflated" boobs look awesome if you put them in a pretty, supportive over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. And yes, they exist.