What I Hate About Watching My Weight/New Lifestyle/Dieting, etc. (A Place to Vent)
Replies
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Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds,
Umm, not to divert or anything, but...but...do people do this?
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The only thing I really dislike about my new healthy lifestyle is that weight loss doesn't happen as fast as I'd like it to. Tom Petty once said "the waiting is the hardest part" and that's especially true in weight loss. I'm almost out of the obesity range and I can't wait!13
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Packerjohn wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
No, it isn't. Let's assume for the sake of argument that you are a heterosexual man:Packerjohn wrote: »I'm going to put this here today. Sorry about the shouting.
Oh my God. I'm about to take on this old dude at the gym. I'm just trying to dig deep today. I'm trying to find the will to exercise today. Baby steps day. I make into the gym. I'm just *kitten* walking towards the locker room and he tells me to smile. No dude. No. *kitten* you. I don't have to smile. Smile doesn't equal happy, it doesn't equal pretty, and I don't have to smile to be either of those things and I sure as hell am not going to smile for you.
I hate that some days I struggle just to make it into the gym. I hate that some days, dudes think they have a say over what I do with my body. Nope. I know I'm an intense person. I know I have at resting *kitten* face. That doesn't change the fact that I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL SMILE WHEN THE *kitten* I WANT.
That sounds deeply annoying and super cringy. Talk about stepping over boundaries! It’s annoying enough when people make unwanted conversation at the gym, let alone try to regulate your emotions?! Oh *kitten* no! I’d be given him the side eye Lol. I had one of the gym employees trying to “pump me up” one day and it was literally all I could do to keep from walking back out. I’m like “I’m here. That’s good enough.... goodbye”
Is it deeply annoying and cringy when a cashier or waiter says have a great day or someone says good morning? Same thing.
The person wasn't talking to her in the middle of a set, she was walking in the place.
One morning, you wake up feeling hellish. On the way to the bathroom, you discover, with your bare foot, that the cat has thrown up on the carpet again. You clean that up and head into to the kitchen, where you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds, get something together for breakfast, and head out the door with your gym bag - come what may, you are going to get to the gym this morning, *kitten* *kitten* it!
The "what may" that "comes" is the first blustery rainstorm of fall. Leaves are blowing off the trees and into the gutters, where they clog drains and flood the streets. You battle the storm and traffic to the gym, find a parking space on the far side of the lot, and finally make your way into the building. You're wiping your feet and shaking the water out of your eyes when some guy in the lobby half-grins, half-leers at you and says: "Hey, c'mon - give us a smile! A nice guy like you shouldn't be going around with a smile!"
1) It's not the same as a cashier wishing you a good morning.
b) Rule of thumb: if a man saying something to a heterosexual man would come across as a homosexually inappropriate remark, then a man saying that same thing to a woman constitutes a sexually inappropriate remark.
The poster that brought up.the smile thing didn't mention anything about the guy leering at her, mentioning anything about her appearance.
I would not get all hot and bothered if someone regardless of sexual orientation greeted me with a come on smile comment in passing at the gym.
Might find it hard to smile if just lost a loved one, but most likely not at the gym either.
Ordering another person to do something to amuse you is different from wishing someone a good day. Hope you can acknowledge the difference enough not to do this to others, even if you don't mind if it's done to you.26 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds,
Umm, not to divert or anything, but...but...do people do this?
Yes. Not me, of course. I reuse those pod things when I'm desperate.
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Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds,
Umm, not to divert or anything, but...but...do people do this?
The fear of running out of coffee in the morning is part of the reason why I fill the grinder every evening as part of my routine. I'll happily run to the store in the evening to feed my addiction.9 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds,
Umm, not to divert or anything, but...but...do people do this?
Yes. Not me, of course. I reuse those pod things when I'm desperate.
If the choice is no coffee or slightly watered down weird coffee... my choice is pretty clear! Desperate times, desperate measures! Coffee is LIFE.
I once would have said the thing I hate the most is the loss of ignorance. Of not knowing how many calories was in XYZ and how that affected me. Then again, I am a seeker of knowledge and "why, why, why?" so it is also a thing I would never go back to even if I could.
However, after being required to up-end my life and cut out all gluten, even hints of it... and discovering all these other potential food allergies that require me to have an EpiPen... that the loss of innocence when it comes to the caloric contents of food no longer activates the 'I wish" meter. That is consumed, eclipsed by the various problems I have with food that the "Man, I wish I could stuff a huge donut in my face" desire gets tangled up with "... and not have the bads that come with it."
I suppose I wish for the days when life was 'easy' and I could be 'lazy' and not have to be so diligent about what I might eat in fear of what it might cause.13 -
pe4sandra2 wrote: »What I really hate about watching my weight is social gatherings and the stress that comes along with knowing I will be surrounded by temptation. I've lost 42 pounds in eight months... I'm making progress and learning to manage my anxiety.
This is one of my biggest complaints is that I will never truly get away from counting calories and watching what I eat. I deleted MFP for awhile and gained 10 lbs. so i'm back to counting and watching...
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Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
See, that's the thing. It is a leer, albeit a small one, because it is invasive. When you tell me to smile, you're invading the connection between my mood and my facial expression. That connection is a thing internal to me. I never invited you in there, and yet you're trying to insert yourself and your demands into the internal space between my mood and my outward expression. That invasion, and your presumption of the right to do so, makes your half-grin a half-leer.Packerjohn wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
No, it isn't. Let's assume for the sake of argument that you are a heterosexual man:Packerjohn wrote: »I'm going to put this here today. Sorry about the shouting.
Oh my God. I'm about to take on this old dude at the gym. I'm just trying to dig deep today. I'm trying to find the will to exercise today. Baby steps day. I make into the gym. I'm just *kitten* walking towards the locker room and he tells me to smile. No dude. No. *kitten* you. I don't have to smile. Smile doesn't equal happy, it doesn't equal pretty, and I don't have to smile to be either of those things and I sure as hell am not going to smile for you.
I hate that some days I struggle just to make it into the gym. I hate that some days, dudes think they have a say over what I do with my body. Nope. I know I'm an intense person. I know I have at resting *kitten* face. That doesn't change the fact that I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL SMILE WHEN THE *kitten* I WANT.
That sounds deeply annoying and super cringy. Talk about stepping over boundaries! It’s annoying enough when people make unwanted conversation at the gym, let alone try to regulate your emotions?! Oh *kitten* no! I’d be given him the side eye Lol. I had one of the gym employees trying to “pump me up” one day and it was literally all I could do to keep from walking back out. I’m like “I’m here. That’s good enough.... goodbye”
Is it deeply annoying and cringy when a cashier or waiter says have a great day or someone says good morning? Same thing.
The person wasn't talking to her in the middle of a set, she was walking in the place.
One morning, you wake up feeling hellish. On the way to the bathroom, you discover, with your bare foot, that the cat has thrown up on the carpet again. You clean that up and head into to the kitchen, where you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds, get something together for breakfast, and head out the door with your gym bag - come what may, you are going to get to the gym this morning, *kitten* *kitten* it!
The "what may" that "comes" is the first blustery rainstorm of fall. Leaves are blowing off the trees and into the gutters, where they clog drains and flood the streets. You battle the storm and traffic to the gym, find a parking space on the far side of the lot, and finally make your way into the building. You're wiping your feet and shaking the water out of your eyes when some guy in the lobby half-grins, half-leers at you and says: "Hey, c'mon - give us a smile! A nice guy like you shouldn't be going around with a smile!"
1) It's not the same as a cashier wishing you a good morning.
b) Rule of thumb: if a man saying something to a heterosexual man would come across as a homosexually inappropriate remark, then a man saying that same thing to a woman constitutes a sexually inappropriate remark.
The poster that brought up.the smile thing didn't mention anything about the guy leering at her, mentioning anything about her appearance.
I would not get all hot and bothered if someone regardless of sexual orientation greeted me with a come on smile comment in passing at the gym.
Might find it hard to smile if just lost a loved one, but most likely not at the gym either.
The wording in my hypothetical greeting very specifically did not mention appearance. But you still recognized that it is, indeed, a remark about the listener's appearance."Hey, c'mon - give us a smile! A nice guy like you shouldn't be going around with a smile!"
After reading this.....
https://youtu.be/wd4YgudTcnM
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Irheddmobile wrote: »Packerjohn wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
No, it isn't. Let's assume for the sake of argument that you are a heterosexual man:Packerjohn wrote: »I'm going to put this here today. Sorry about the shouting.
Oh my God. I'm about to take on this old dude at the gym. I'm just trying to dig deep today. I'm trying to find the will to exercise today. Baby steps day. I make into the gym. I'm just *kitten* walking towards the locker room and he tells me to smile. No dude. No. *kitten* you. I don't have to smile. Smile doesn't equal happy, it doesn't equal pretty, and I don't have to smile to be either of those things and I sure as hell am not going to smile for you.
I hate that some days I struggle just to make it into the gym. I hate that some days, dudes think they have a say over what I do with my body. Nope. I know I'm an intense person. I know I have at resting *kitten* face. That doesn't change the fact that I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL SMILE WHEN THE *kitten* I WANT.
That sounds deeply annoying and super cringy. Talk about stepping over boundaries! It’s annoying enough when people make unwanted conversation at the gym, let alone try to regulate your emotions?! Oh *kitten* no! I’d be given him the side eye Lol. I had one of the gym employees trying to “pump me up” one day and it was literally all I could do to keep from walking back out. I’m like “I’m here. That’s good enough.... goodbye”
Is it deeply annoying and cringy when a cashier or waiter says have a great day or someone says good morning? Same thing.
The person wasn't talking to her in the middle of a set, she was walking in the place.
One morning, you wake up feeling hellish. On the way to the bathroom, you discover, with your bare foot, that the cat has thrown up on the carpet again. You clean that up and head into to the kitchen, where you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds, get something together for breakfast, and head out the door with your gym bag - come what may, you are going to get to the gym this morning, *kitten* *kitten* it!
The "what may" that "comes" is the first blustery rainstorm of fall. Leaves are blowing off the trees and into the gutters, where they clog drains and flood the streets. You battle the storm and traffic to the gym, find a parking space on the far side of the lot, and finally make your way into the building. You're wiping your feet and shaking the water out of your eyes when some guy in the lobby half-grins, half-leers at you and says: "Hey, c'mon - give us a smile! A nice guy like you shouldn't be going around with a smile!"
1) It's not the same as a cashier wishing you a good morning.
b) Rule of thumb: if a man saying something to a heterosexual man would come across as a homosexually inappropriate remark, then a man saying that same thing to a woman constitutes a sexually inappropriate remark.
The poster that brought up.the smile thing didn't mention anything about the guy leering at her, mentioning anything about her appearance.
I would not get all hot and bothered if someone regardless of sexual orientation greeted me with a come on smile comment in passing at the gym.
Might find it hard to smile if just lost a loved one, but most likely not at the gym either.
Ordering another person to do something to amuse you is different from wishing someone a good day. Hope you can acknowledge the difference enough not to do this to others, even if you don't mind if it's done to you.
Isn't saying have a good day, ordering someone to do something?
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Packerjohn wrote: »Irheddmobile wrote: »Packerjohn wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
No, it isn't. Let's assume for the sake of argument that you are a heterosexual man:Packerjohn wrote: »I'm going to put this here today. Sorry about the shouting.
Oh my God. I'm about to take on this old dude at the gym. I'm just trying to dig deep today. I'm trying to find the will to exercise today. Baby steps day. I make into the gym. I'm just *kitten* walking towards the locker room and he tells me to smile. No dude. No. *kitten* you. I don't have to smile. Smile doesn't equal happy, it doesn't equal pretty, and I don't have to smile to be either of those things and I sure as hell am not going to smile for you.
I hate that some days I struggle just to make it into the gym. I hate that some days, dudes think they have a say over what I do with my body. Nope. I know I'm an intense person. I know I have at resting *kitten* face. That doesn't change the fact that I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL SMILE WHEN THE *kitten* I WANT.
That sounds deeply annoying and super cringy. Talk about stepping over boundaries! It’s annoying enough when people make unwanted conversation at the gym, let alone try to regulate your emotions?! Oh *kitten* no! I’d be given him the side eye Lol. I had one of the gym employees trying to “pump me up” one day and it was literally all I could do to keep from walking back out. I’m like “I’m here. That’s good enough.... goodbye”
Is it deeply annoying and cringy when a cashier or waiter says have a great day or someone says good morning? Same thing.
The person wasn't talking to her in the middle of a set, she was walking in the place.
One morning, you wake up feeling hellish. On the way to the bathroom, you discover, with your bare foot, that the cat has thrown up on the carpet again. You clean that up and head into to the kitchen, where you discover that you're out of coffee. You re-use yesterday's grounds, get something together for breakfast, and head out the door with your gym bag - come what may, you are going to get to the gym this morning, *kitten* *kitten* it!
The "what may" that "comes" is the first blustery rainstorm of fall. Leaves are blowing off the trees and into the gutters, where they clog drains and flood the streets. You battle the storm and traffic to the gym, find a parking space on the far side of the lot, and finally make your way into the building. You're wiping your feet and shaking the water out of your eyes when some guy in the lobby half-grins, half-leers at you and says: "Hey, c'mon - give us a smile! A nice guy like you shouldn't be going around with a smile!"
1) It's not the same as a cashier wishing you a good morning.
b) Rule of thumb: if a man saying something to a heterosexual man would come across as a homosexually inappropriate remark, then a man saying that same thing to a woman constitutes a sexually inappropriate remark.
The poster that brought up.the smile thing didn't mention anything about the guy leering at her, mentioning anything about her appearance.
I would not get all hot and bothered if someone regardless of sexual orientation greeted me with a come on smile comment in passing at the gym.
Might find it hard to smile if just lost a loved one, but most likely not at the gym either.
Ordering another person to do something to amuse you is different from wishing someone a good day. Hope you can acknowledge the difference enough not to do this to others, even if you don't mind if it's done to you.
Isn't saying have a good day, ordering someone to do something?
Telling someone to have a good day is a standard and common greeting. You’re not commanding anything but rather wishing someone well. Telling someone to smile is not a common greeting. It’s crossing a personal boundary and telling them what to do with their facial expression.22 -
Moving on....
A beef I have with my new lifestyle....
Why do protein powders only come in huge tubs?! I’ve only found a couple brands online that sell sample sizes. Annoying!14 -
I'm going to put this here today. Sorry about the shouting.
Oh my God. I'm about to take on this old dude at the gym. I'm just trying to dig deep today. I'm trying to find the will to exercise today. Baby steps day. I make into the gym. I'm just *kitten* walking towards the locker room and he tells me to smile. No dude. No. *kitten* you. I don't have to smile. Smile doesn't equal happy, it doesn't equal pretty, and I don't have to smile to be either of those things and I sure as hell am not going to smile for you.
I hate that some days I struggle just to make it into the gym. I hate that some days, dudes think they have a say over what I do with my body. Nope. I know I'm an intense person. I know I have at resting *kitten* face. That doesn't change the fact that I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL SMILE WHEN THE *kitten* I WANT.
Haha! I wonder if you live up North.. when I lived there everyone would tell me "smile".. and I thought? How bout I smile when I WANT and FEEL like smiling! Now that I live down South..no one says those things.. I haven't heard that dumb suggestion since I moved. (you may have to move. 12 -
Isn't saying have a good day, ordering someone to do something?
[/quote]
Let me provide clarity. "smile, jump, move, stop, go faster." "have a nice day, take care. enjoy your day."
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Packerjohn wrote: »The poster that brought up.the smile thing didn't mention anything about the guy leering at her, mentioning anything about her appearance.
I would not get all hot and bothered if someone regardless of sexual orientation greeted me with a come on smile comment in passing at the gym.
Might find it hard to smile if just lost a loved one, but most likely not at the gym either.
It wouldn't bother you b/c you haven't heard it every Effing day of your Effing life--having other people tell you how you "should" present yourself, etc.
And please don't try to defend yourself--there is no way you can make any argument we WOMEN haven't heard about this issue. And every single one of them is simply wrong.
FTR, I for one might well be at the gym (or rather, out for a run) after losing a loved one. It might be one of very few things I can do at that point. So perhaps you should not make assumptions about what type of day someone is having based on the fact that they are, in fact, not at the gym.
I am truly sorry you've had such bad life experiences that what was mostly delivered as a well meant greeting is taken as you being ordered/forced to do something.
Hope things get better.31 -
I'm really surprised there are so many people defending this man telling a woman to "smile".
It's such a cliche at this point that it's a trope on TV and in film: an example of the patriarchy policing women's appearance; the expectation that we will shape our presence into something agreeable and pleasant and non-threatening to others; as well as a refusal of our inner life.
This man might have "meant well" and likely had no idea that's what this gesture means. But that's what it means.39 -
I'm going to put this here today. Sorry about the shouting.
Oh my God. I'm about to take on this old dude at the gym. I'm just trying to dig deep today. I'm trying to find the will to exercise today. Baby steps day. I make into the gym. I'm just *kitten* walking towards the locker room and he tells me to smile. No dude. No. *kitten* you. I don't have to smile. Smile doesn't equal happy, it doesn't equal pretty, and I don't have to smile to be either of those things and I sure as hell am not going to smile for you.
I hate that some days I struggle just to make it into the gym. I hate that some days, dudes think they have a say over what I do with my body. Nope. I know I'm an intense person. I know I have at resting *kitten* face. That doesn't change the fact that I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL SMILE WHEN THE *kitten* I WANT.
Did you guys hear about the whole thing about the Captain Marvel trailer? Some guy on twitter told her that she should smile more. It ended up with people photoshopping smiles in all the other posters of other superheroes (males). And yes.. it looked ridiculous.
Let's be real - how would men react if women started telling them that they need to smile? Why do men think that they are allowed to make those kinds of comments?
Anyway - I hate that I can never have a treat without feeling guilty. I hate that whenever I get a treat, I'll end up either hungry the rest of the day or go over. I hate that all my woman health issues made me feel so bad when it comes to my weight... as if it's not depressing enough to feel horrible every month already... now I feel depressed about eating too much and not being able to exercise too.
I hate that my body and hormones changed so much after losing the weight that it's been impossible to maintain my lowest weight. I hate that no, I'm not one of those people who suddenly ended up loving chicken breasts and vegetables and not enjoying junk food anymore.17 -
What's frustrating for me is that weight loss isn't linear. Doing what one considers to be all the right things and some days it pays off on the scale and then a couple of days later not lol. Always having to be conscious of what I eat, even when I decide to go over. Working out is good for my health but now I feel bad when I miss a workout or sit for long periods, I just have to get up and move. All mostly positive changes but still new lifestyle and I don't want to be back where I was but sort of miss being ignorant and lazy while i ate brownies 😐5
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Something frustrating me today is I developed IBS-D with occasional bouts of constipation in late high school and it followed me through college. I was obese in college and saw a gastroenterologist who said losing weight would definitely help. Welp, the weight has been since 2014 and the IBS has gotten worse, like way worse to the point where I will have to abandon my shopping cart in the grocery store to make a break for the bathroom. I saw my gastro yesterday and she is completely baffled as to why it is getting worse. So I guess my point of this rant is when you are promised losing weight will help with a medical condition and then it doesn't and the condition in fact gets worse.23
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Fitnessgirl0913 wrote: »Something frustrating me today is I developed IBS-D with occasional bouts of constipation in late high school and it followed me through college. I was obese in college and saw a gastroenterologist who said losing weight would definitely help. Welp, the weight has been since 2014 and the IBS has gotten worse, like way worse to the point where I will have to abandon my shopping cart in the grocery store to make a break for the bathroom. I saw my gastro yesterday and she is completely baffled as to why it is getting worse. So I guess my point of this rant is when you are promised losing weight will help with a medical condition and then it doesn't and the condition in fact gets worse.
I agree with this. My weight was supposedly the cause for my migraines, fibromyalgia, joint pains, female problems. Well 70 lbs later I still have all of the above and the fibro is getting worse, along with increasing hormonal issues.14 -
My biggest issue is that at a normal height and weight I am a minority, especially at 46 years old. Co-workers ask if I'm sick, family says I'm too thin. Society's perception of acceptable and healthy is skewed.
I'm smack in the middle of my BMI. I am fit. I run. I lift. I plank. I do pushups. I sprint bleachers for fun. I eat balanced meals by choice to fuel my body.
Society wants us to be overweight, to eat the junk, to watch tv, to take gym out of schools, to work at a desk instead of a farm, to lead a convenient life with minimal activity, to finance a very lucrative health care system. What a shame.25
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