The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I’ve been reading USA Today app for some time. Lately, there are several articles about alcohol. It’s encouraging to me. I think there might be a small shift in public awareness and interest in alcohol reduction.
Check out this article from USA TODAY:
Fixes for the US drinking problem are hard to sell
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2018/11/19/alcohol-taxes-restrictions-public-health-policy-problem-drinking-blue-laws/1729501002/2 -
salleewins wrote: »
Don't worry about it! You have done so well! Alcohol can have such a strong pull. I restarted a bunch of times. I couldn't count how many. If it was in my pantry right now, I probably would drink it. Second of all, I would not have forgotten that it was there. You are stronger than you think. Just keep going. It is not day zero any more. The clock is already moving ahead. Try not to go get more. You probably won't, but I know how I would think. Think in terms of hours on the plus side today already and not that it is a wash. You will do it!! Now I need to take that thinking with food, lol.@EIC_76 don't give it another thought. Be proud that you gave yourself nearly 6 weeks AF. Today is a fresh start.RubyRed427 wrote: »@ElC_76 No worries! You were so dry for so long, that your body and mind benefitted from it. The wolf is always waiting in the woods, but for you it sounds that you are able to keep it at bay for along time. That’s a success!! Xo@EIC_76 I have been AF since May 2008 during that time I had 2 New Years I had champagne one vacation I had some wine one evening out to dinner and my daughters wedding I had some wine as well all in all maybe one bottle over 10 years each time I was back AF the next morning and years before the next drink
I am just saying I don’t bring it up except to say dont let it make you upset life happens some time just return to your AF way of living
When I discuss my sobriety I just say it’s since May 2008
No qualificationslorrainequiche59 wrote: »@EIC_76 I agree with the encouragement others have already given to you. Stuff happens. As @sallewins suggested "think in terms of hours on the plus side" and chalk it up to a learning les
Thanku thanku, u all are so awesome. I did what i dreaded.. but i felt it was going to happen. With drink stock always in the home wth the rest in the home being are full on drinkers and they were trying very hard to get me to give in. I stayed strong at those point but when im alone at home especally when i am stressed or bored, not that i have nothing to do,.. just not motivated to do them has been my weak points. I nearly gave in the other day but to my rescue found a bottle of bubbly wth alcohol removed that saved that day.
Well done on your victoies Ruby and Jen and everyone. I think know that depressed bored feeling, like something trying its hardest to make u not enjoy yourself or feel great to make u give in.
Anyway i hope u all have a good day.. today is another clean healthy day
thanks again for the encouragement xo6 -
I keep forgetting to come around to this thread to post and offer some hope for others who might be struggling. I am into PR territory. Tomorrow will make 17 months. One of my earlier attempts several years ago made it just past past 15 months. That time and most other times I convinced myself I could ease back into drinking socially and keep it under control. One of the things that is different this time is that I don't believe that.
On Wednesday, my office closed at 1, but I had some stuff I needed to complete so I stayed. I got a diet coke out of the fridge a few minutes later. It was stocked with plenty of beer and I didn't even blink. It didn't even occur to me that it was there until a few minutes later. This time I really got scared about what happens to people as the age if they are problem drinking. I will turn 60 in a little over a month AF, with a BMI under 25 and visible abs. Hard to believe that in spring of last year I was an overweight, out of shape problem drinker.
One thing coming up after the beginning of the year is going to be a literal pain. I have to get a shoulder scoped and because of past substance abuse (wasn't just alcohol) I won't get pain meds.8 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »[red] I Lately, there are several articles about alcohol. It’s encouraging to me. I think there might be a small shift in public awareness and interest in alcohol reduction.
Now at 50 I finally see more people around me embracing a more sober life and articles like you mentioned are certainly bringing up the discussion.
On a regular basis people turn to me and ask how it is to remain sober when everybody else is not. It is a case of getting used to in a social event I have had discussions along the lines of but if you the only sober person is a social event still fun. Well yes I think it sad that some people feel they need to drink in order to fit in.
One of my co-workers boats about how many drinks she has had and how she can hold her drink and how she has to to fit into the group. She was totally surprised if I tell her never drank totally fit in. Oh yes and I do remember the most embarrassing stories
Anyway AFL is something i have done all my life and quit frankly I love it Never missed it, never felt I missed out on anything worth missing out on.8 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I’ve been reading USA Today app for some time. Lately, there are several articles about alcohol. It’s encouraging to me. I think there might be a small shift in public awareness and interest in alcohol reduction.
Check out this article from USA TODAY:
Fixes for the US drinking problem are hard to sell
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2018/11/19/alcohol-taxes-restrictions-public-health-policy-problem-drinking-blue-laws/1729501002/
I am more aware of them; I notice them and read them now but I am not sure there are more. At the other end of the spectrum, I have noticed many people in real life as well as movies and TV show some signs of problem drinking that I really didn't pick up on before. People who have a drink or few to unwind after a stressful day and have a lot of stressful days. People who post pictures of toasting the sunset over the ocean, which seems like a reasonable time to drink for people who have it under control until you realize they live on the ocean and the sun sets every day.6 -
Home SWEET Home!! With my favorite canine pal!!
@RubyRed427 I watched the video accompanying the article...how sad!
@CarvedTones I too notice people drinking in pics....more than I did before I was AF...and when I see people frequently posting pics with alcohol in hand, I wonder if there is a problem lingering for them. I am definitely looking at things through a different lens...it 'seems' fun, but I also realize that things are not always as they 'seem.'
It will very soon be 6 months AF for me. This is now my life...a sober life. I love being freed from enslavement to alcohol, now I need to apply the same determination to my food issues!!
Hope everyone has a good week.6 -
@lorrainequiche59 Welcome home ! It seemed like a long time to be gone. Well, you did your friend a huge favor and fulfilled your commitment. Happy you’re home!
I had a good experience last night... went to a nice steakhouse. And I ordered a Perrier. She brought me (without me asking ) a pretty wine glasses with a lime. It made me happy. We ran into our close drinking buddy friends on the way out.We chatted for a few minutes at the door. It felt awkward though. Not sure why. I think that since they know I’m not drinking, they didnt say come back in for another drink. We just all politely chatted and departed. It was kinda weird.5 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@lorrainequiche59 Welcome home ! It seemed like a long time to be gone. Well, you did your friend a huge favor and fulfilled your commitment. Happy you’re home!
I had a good experience last night... went to a nice steakhouse. And I ordered a Perrier. She brought me (without me asking ) a pretty wine glasses with a lime. It made me happy. We ran into our close drinking buddy friends on the way out.We chatted for a few minutes at the door. It felt awkward though. Not sure why. I think that since they know I’m not drinking, they didnt say come back in for another drink. We just all politely chatted and departed. It was kinda weird.
Thank you for my Welcome Home!! It was a client I dog sat for...so no favors on my part (I'm not that nice LOL)...they are paying me for that gig!!
You are so positive cause rather than focus on the "weird" part with your former drinking buddies, you focused on the happiness from the waitress's thoughtfulness bringing you a fancy glass for your Perrier.
I've been trying to accept my declining social life in a positive light. Is it a coincidence that I have less invites since I stopped drinking? I truly don't know...I'm trying to remember that people are busy & also trying to remember my own lack of inviting non-drinkers in my drinking hay days!! It wasn't that I didn't like the people who I didn't often invite, but I DO remember consciously considering the fact that they did not drink! Partly, because I might feel guarded in my own drinking in their presence or others may feel uncomfortable. THAT said way more about ME than it did about them...!!
I'm looking at my changed relationships with the "drinkers" & decreased social life as the in-between place. In between where I was and where I'm going!! I have NO control over what others do, only what I do. SO, that means if I want more of a social life, I will have to be the invitOR!! I have to admit that I have also decreased inviting friends to my place since I've been AF (out of necessity to remain AF), so it's two-fold; I have a part in this too. I used to LOVE entertaining, but it usually revolved around alcohol. I just need to rekindle my love minus the alcohol end of things & the only way I can do that is by doing that asap. I really think I'm ready now.2 -
New Pic of my pup!! Same problem, BUT it was upside down & I managed this LOL....I'll get it upright at some point not that anyone cares, but I do.2
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First AF Thanksgiving on the books. Phew! Not too hard, but not easy either. It helped that my sister is about 95% AF too and she said the wine wasn't very good (she didn't finish hers), plus we squeezed in 2 crazy tabata workouts in the garage. Sore is much better than hungover!
I hope you all were able to stick with your goals or plans. I know some of us have it harder than others. I know it sounds simple and/or crazy, but I'm just thankful to be alive and have a home and family and friends. So many in the world aren't so lucky.6 -
I started MFP 10 days ago knowing that eliminating alcohol was a great way to cut calories. I haven't been AF but I have limited it to a few glasses of red wine. Seeing this group makes me think of going AF.7
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Home SWEET Home!! With my favorite canine pal!!
@RubyRed427 I watched the video accompanying the article...how sad!
@CarvedTones I too notice people drinking in pics....more than I did before I was AF...and when I see people frequently posting pics with alcohol in hand, I wonder if there is a problem lingering for them. I am definitely looking at things through a different lens...it 'seems' fun, but I also realize that things are not always as they 'seem.'
It will very soon be 6 months AF for me. This is now my life...a sober life. I love being freed from enslavement to alcohol, now I need to apply the same determination to my food issues!!
Hope everyone has a good week.
There is a gray area between responsible drinking and problem drinking, that's for sure.
There is a huge difference between someone having a beer with reheated pizza for dinner while watching the news then maybe having another while surfing the net, practicing an instrument or whatever and someone closet drinking with the sole purpose of getting buzzed. Both are drinking alone. In shows, it's often the detective looking through documents at home, pouring one or two fingers of liquor in a glass and also drinking alone. I could go on with examples of solo drinking that really don't seem to be causing problems.
I know people who rarely drink to excess and then it is usually not to extreme excess and it is in a safe setting - no driving will be needed, not public, etc. You see that sort of behavior in shows all the time.
Sometimes I am jealous of people who can do that without increasing in frequency or how much they drink at a time. Other times I think most of these people have a problem also. I definitely pick up on signs that people I know are outside the bounds of responsible drinking.
I definitely see things differently now.4 -
Thankyou @CarvedTones
I have a constant fight in myself. So i do c consider myself as a potential problem drinker. I was having it to shut everything out. Now just wish i could have it without the effects. I think ive heard myself say, "why it it so nice? If only i could have some without the **** that goes with it"
But now more to the point its the reponsibility i have that if i dont be responsible theres a lot of lives in my home at stake, and ill include mine. I dont want to loose what ive gainedeven if some people are critical of me.
Thanks again. Everything on here the sharing of experiences really helps.also to know none of us are alone..
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Thankyou @CarvedTones
I have a constant fight in myself. So i do c consider myself as a potential problem drinker. I was having it to shut everything out. Now just wish i could have it without the effects. I think ive heard myself say, "why it it so nice? If only i could have some without the **** that goes with it"
But now more to the point its the reponsibility i have that if i dont be responsible theres a lot of lives in my home at stake, and ill include mine. I dont want to loose what ive gainedeven if some people are critical of me.
Thanks again. Everything on here the sharing of experiences really helps.also to know none of us are alone..
I am glad you got something out of that. I felt like I wasn't really making my point. I think it is a little more black and white when we are in the gray area. If it is becoming a problem, I think most people know it even if they won't admit it.3 -
I am so glad that I am working remote today. There is a butter almond rum cake in the break room. That's a double whammy - I am too close to the top of my maintenance range for comfort and want to drop back some before Christmas plus the consternation over whether rum flavored cakes, which seem to be a Christmas staple, are okay. I think not, even though there is usually little or no alcohol content after baking. It's often rum flavoring instead of actual rum. Still sets my "bad idea" alarm off.4
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I`ve been thinking lately about those of you who have partners who drink & how that must be an extra challenge at times. I just wanted to put that out there cause I`m sure it has it`s own set of difficulties & I just want to say that I admire your determination to stay AF cause I think it might be harder than for those of us who are single. HUGS7
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I`ve been thinking lately about those of you who have partners who drink & how that must be an extra challenge at times. I just wanted to put that out there cause I`m sure it has it`s own set of difficulties & I just want to say that I admire your determination to stay AF cause I think it might be harder than for those of us who are single. HUGS
My situation has some complexities to it. My wife and I have serious problems that were not all due to my drinking and they didn't magically go away. In fact, now that I am 17 months AF, she has pretty much lost the upper hand in being able blame our problems on my behavior. Now she says there is nothing I can do to regain her trust. Ever. So in an odd way, it is hastening the demise of our relationship. There was a glimmer of hope that is now gone.
She doesn't drink much or often, almost never at home. When our adult son is here for Christmas, they will probably make a couple of frozen fruity drinks. He approached me last year about whether or not it would bother me. I told him if I can't survive exposure, I am doomed to failure. BTW, this is an important point about the whole matter of going AF; if I can't get used to being around it without being tempted then my odds of staying alcohol free long term are low. Food for thought.
But my wife does have a glass of wine out with friends sometimes; not frequently but maybe every few weeks. Since I have been AF, I have become more aware of the little tells that it is sometimes more than one; enough to get a little buzz going. There have been a couple of times when she was probably slightly over the limit driving home. If I say anything, I can guarantee it will be taken (or at least portrayed) as an unfounded personal attack.
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if i learned anything, i learned i too had some sick tendencies to go along with my husband's drinking and using. he was changing in recovery and i could change with him or be stuck in the same old manure-by myself.
i still drank while my husband was sober. he said it was ok. there were times where he white knuckled it and i didn't have or drink alcohol around him then. but he said it was easier because we didn't drink the same things. he was a beer and Jack guy. i was wine and cider.
back in the day, i was a problem drinker keeping up with the alcoholics in my life but in the end i realized i didn't like the way it was affecting my life so i drink a few times a year now. hanging out with a lot of sober people and no one else drinking-i just don't feel the urge to have a drink either. (though they've too said it was ok).
from all appearances, i think i looked like an alcoholic but i still had choice. when my husband drank, he was off to the races. i could drink heavy or light depending on what i felt the need to do the next day or later in the day. if we had something to do early in the morning, i could have a cider and go to bed. he would have 2 fingers and then a 12 pack and then off to get some "outside issues" and smoke that and drink more and then he'd be too screwed up to do the morning thing.
it took me a long time to realize i could do our plans on my own, even if he couldn't.
(sorry-perspective from the other side of the table)5 -
Interesting ideas about partner/spouse issues... my former spouse tackled addiction issues prior to our meeting, and he was always able to keep alcohol under control and rarely drank to excess (if he did, it was very planned, not a "whoops" like me). Now, though, I can see that he may have tackled the substances, but that addictive behaviors are still there and in full force and manifest in food, denial, emotional issues, narcissism, victim-ness, etc. I feel bad for him as it has resulted in serious health and emotional issues, and in my mind, these are things we still have control over. At least... I do... and therein possibly lies the crux to many of our problems.3
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