Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

Lois_1989 wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

Crafty_camper123 wrote: »

Lois_1989 wrote: »

But seriously, what are the best bits about having kids? As far as I can tell, they cause you pain, stress and money. I just had a bath and as I’m lying there all I can hear are the 2 boys next door arguing and the mum shouting at them. I’ve been laying in bed before listening to the kid in the flat above have a full blown tantrum in the middle of the night. I listen to stories in the office about someone’s kid has done something, someone spent their whole weekend running her kids and grandkids around. My dad has endless stories (some that he told at my wedding) about how horrible I was as a child. I don’t get it. Why put yourself through it?

This is why I don't have any yet myself at 31. Everytime I think of it, reeeaaally think of it, my mind goes to stuff like this. And yet somehow, I have this inexplicible urge to still have kids someday. I want scraped knees, and baby kisses, and to pass on family traditions. Unfortunatly that comes with diaper blow outs, the terrible two's and the terrible teen's. Not to mention the current polarizing cultural and political climate we live in right now.

It makes no sense to me. And I can't decide if my urge to have kids is due to social expectations, biological urges to reproduce, or something else. It's a really strange feeling. I have no idea if it will ever happen for me as I sit here on the fence. I suppose I will welcome either outcome however life turns out.

All of this, and I have the added situation that out of both of my husbands parents families, they were the only ones to have kids. They haven’t got any cousins. If we don’t have kids and his sister doesn’t, that’s the end of the family tree. And his sister is my age (turning 30 this year) and single, so. Yup.

FYI don’t google “perks of being a parent”. They are pretty crap perks, like ‘you have a reason to watch cartoons’. I already do, that’s not a perk. Or, “it’s an ego boost having someone depend on you”, nope, my husband depends on me and it’s not ego boosting, it’s annoying.

For real!! Also see my edit. Little kids don't scare me. I can handle sleepless nights and crazy messes and such. But teenagers? I have seen so many go from this sweet innocent little kid, to at the stroke of midnight on thier 13th year turn into something else entirely. And at any rate cartoons is both a pro AND a con depending on the cartoon, lol! I think the only pro is the ability to raise someone else into the world to pass on your core beliefs and values. and being able to create the "magic" of childhood for them. Still undecided though.

None of the siblings of either side has kids yet either... They are either single, not old enough, or not planning on it. I'm the last of lineage on my dad's side, and on my husband's side he is the last in line to pass on his last name..

Oh snap! We could be twins! I know what you mean about your edit. I’m not sure if I could live with myself in case no.1. Danny has step-2nd cousin who have kids and they just stay away from me. I don’t know if I give off a “stay away from me” vibe.

Here's the crazy thing. Since this is a confessional thread after all. I get struck with these mad urges to proclaim to my husband (who definatly doesn't want kids) that I want kids with him and that's final! But the reason I haven't is I'm not even sure that's what I really want. I think I just get that way because of the what if factor. Like since he said he doesn't want them, now I dont have the option, and what if I regret that decision? What if I turn 41 and wish I decided sooner? But when I quit playing the what if game (and I'm not in the 3rd week of my BC pack, stupid hormones.) that crazy urge subsides, I think rationally, and am back to being okay with whatever fate decides. And honestly I was totally fine with my decision to leave the potential of my future prodigy to fate. If it happens, great. If not, that's fine too. Until my BFF told me about the story of a woman who woke up one day at the age of 40, and left her husband right then because she never had kids with him. That story got my mind running for a short while. But she has 1 and another on the way. So I'm willing to bet her perception of my situation is different. I'm not willing to throw away the perfect marraige (as perfect as a mairrage can be) on the off chance that I'll maybe find someone to have kids with me. It's just foolish IMO.

I get that completely. I already think I messed up leaving it this long. I should have thought about kids sooner. I spent 4 years in university doing a pointless degree and instead I should have just got a job and maybe I would be in this position 4-6 years earlier and I wouldn’t have felt the pressure I do now. It’s like BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING, MAKE A CHOICE!