The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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you know, you can Google anything....here's one article supporting what I just said.
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/news/20050203/study-alcohol-kills-as-many-as-tobacco#13 -
This is me 10 years ago. 40 yrs old, 240 lbs, drinking Beam Black & Diet every day.
This me last week, 50th birthday, 168 lbs, 7 years, 3 months, 22 days sober.
Wish I had sobered up 10 years earlier. My 30s were a complete waste of time.
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@hollyscherer1125: welcome to the group. Drugs are a big part of my story as well. The struggle vs drugs is very similar to the struggle vs alcohol, in my opinion. Hope you stick around.
@vermontrebecca6929: thx for the podcast recommendation. I love my podcasts in the gym. You (or anyone else) have any other recs in that department?
@xMrBunglex: really nice work on the transformation....and the sobriety 👍9 -
@lorrainequiche59’s post about “doing the work “ raises a question for me. Right now I don’t mind doing the work. I expect it to be work. It’s day 32, so very early in the game. But when, if ever, does it stop being work? Will there ever come a day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind? I realize some people go to regular AA meetings years and years after they quit drinking. That sounds awful to me. Maybe someone with some years under your belt can chime in? Am I doomed to thinking about alcohol daily for life???
I've been AF for over 6 years. Before that I was drinking almost every day, and frequently to excess (I often was not able to hit the off switch). Now, most days alcohol doesn't cross my mind. And when it does, it's fleeting. So there is hope that you're not doomed to thinking about it everyday for life.8 -
I'm glad you're doing well and not dealing with alcohol cravings @FeelinFooFoo. In the beginning, I remember feeling like something great was being withheld from me, too. I used to get grouchy about it being a weekend and not being able to have wine. It did change over time from "I can't have a drink" to "I don't want a drink." It sounds like you made a good choice to have already limited your alcohol intake before going AF. I went from daily drinking all thru the holidays to cold turkey AF on Jan 1. Not for the faint of heart! I just made it harder on myself. But you're doing great. It's perfectly fine to consider moderation while you're going through the AE. You'll learn more each day if you're following the daily lessons, plus you'll learn from yourself and how you feel each day as you go longer AF. You're doing a great job, stay the course!
Happy Belated Birthday @xMrBunglex! What a fantastic, positive change you've made in your life. While there is insight to be gained from looking back, you should be proud of yourself for your choices to improve your life. In fact, I'm betting because of the healthy changes you've made, you probably feel a lot better than you did in your 30s. Congrats on your accomplishments and thanks for sharing!5 -
@lorrainequiche59’s post about “doing the work “ raises a question for me. Right now I don’t mind doing the work. I expect it to be work. It’s day 32, so very early in the game. But when, if ever, does it stop being work? Will there ever come a day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind? I realize some people go to regular AA meetings years and years after they quit drinking. That sounds awful to me. Maybe someone with some years under your belt can chime in? Am I doomed to thinking about alcohol daily for life???
I realize that I may be the exception here, but I do feel obligated to throw this out there.
I've been sober over 7 years, but it took me almost 3 years of going in & out of AA to finally lose the compulsion to drink. I've got a drawer full of 24 hr, 30 day, 60 day, 90 day chips.
I never "did the work".
Never got a sponsor, never worked the steps, never took inventory/made amends. I went to meetings - daily for long stretches - and shared, and listened. Talked to people.
When I inevitably picked up a drink, I went crawling back to AA, raised my hand, got another 24 hr chip, and started over.
For me, when I first started trying to sober up, I missed drinking. Every second, minute, day. Slowly but surely, the needle moved & after a year or two I started missing being sober when I was drinking.
I was worried about not being the same person if I was sober. Would I still have a sense of humor? (Yes. Still a smartass.) Would my wife even LIKE me anymore, much less love me? (Yes. We'll celebrate 27 yrs together in December.) Would my friends shun me, since I wasn't a partier anymore? (Only the ones with a worse drinking problem than I had. Most of them are impressed.)
Now, I can go to parties, sit in a sports bar, hell, I just got back from a week long Caribbean cruise - and didn't feel the urge to drink.
I would just say, don't let the zealots turn you off to AA. The fellowship is a vital part of conquering this. But you don't have to cut ties with your friends. You don't have to dive right into working the steps with a sponsor. You don't have to live at the club 24/7, and only go to AA events.
JUST KEEP GOING TO MEETINGS.
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Yup. I've got 18 months and AA and doing the work made the difference from all the other times I tried to quite or moderate...9
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@MaxInChicago, thanks for the encouragement. A day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind is something I look forward to. I can’t even imagine that right now.7
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This. It’s full of zealots, but there are just as many of us “non-zealot” types. Hell, I’m agnostic and yet I still greatly appreciate what the program has afforded me. To me, the fellowship has been key above all else.xMrBunglex wrote: »I would just say, don't let the zealots turn you off to AA. The fellowship is a vital part of conquering this. But you don't have to cut ties with your friends. You don't have to dive right into working the steps with a sponsor. You don't have to live at the club 24/7, and only go to AA events.
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Good morning! I’d like to recommend the Sexy Sobriety site and signing up for Bex Weller’s emails. Like all these sites, she offers a course that costs money, but I’ve never spent a penny. Nevertheless it seems her emails always say something I need to hear. Today’s is about identifying what we really crave when we crave alcohol— like connection with others or just a nap.
Have a great day, all!6 -
This. It’s full of zealots, but there are just as many of us “non-zealot” types. Hell, I’m agnostic and yet I still greatly appreciate what the program has afforded me. To me, the fellowship has been key above all else.xMrBunglex wrote: »I would just say, don't let the zealots turn you off to AA. The fellowship is a vital part of conquering this. But you don't have to cut ties with your friends. You don't have to dive right into working the steps with a sponsor. You don't have to live at the club 24/7, and only go to AA events.
I went to Al Anon meetings while a family member was doing AA meetings - yet I still drank at the time - never gave it a second thought - I was a self centered jerk.
I found the meetings to be tedious most of the time but every now and again, someone would say something and BAMMO! like a laser to the heart, I was dialed in. I actually found the before and after meeting time to be just as, if not more, beneficial than the group meetings. One on one with someone whom you have a connection with is huge.
There are so many meeting places and times - find a group that you fit in with a do it.4 -
What I did not write above was that of the 20 or so in the AA and Al Anon group that I attended for nearly 3 years - 2 are dead from drug overdoses and one is in the penitentiary for selling drugs including the drugs that killed one of the two young men. Both of the young men that died and the young man that was jailed were actually - for all appearances - looked like poster-child AA success stories. One even had started his own support group for college kids.
Sorry about posting the sad news above, but alcohol and drug abuse is serious. I realized late, but in time. I am hoping this post will help someone get on the sober path so the death of the 2 young men will not be entirely in vain. Parents should not have to bury their kids.7 -
Jan-0 drinkin days
Feb-2 drinkin days
March-0 drinkin days
April-0 drinkin days 13 -
Excellent posts by everyone! I tried AA but the one that's closest to me gave me the creeps,just the location and the people there,plus Everytime I left I actually felt like drinking! Weird how if you're trying not to do something, thinking about doing it seems to come around alot,I'd rather just live and be done with it but then again I need to stay vigilant,been having that "itch" and it really sucks,I just feel frustrated with alot of things in my life right now and do miss that escape,grrr,I'll get thru.thanks for the fabulous posts EVERYONE! 10
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I really appreciate all the comments here. I've been in quiet mode but still reading. Lots of things swirling through my head, but I have not picked up the bottle. I'll be headed out for a long weekend vacation. I hope to have some wifi so I can check in, but I have no idea what to expect. I'll be back Monday.
106 days AF. I'm grateful for all of you! 8 -
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@MountainLaurel787 106 days! Nice. You're exactly double me today... Day 53!7
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@whitpauly Great job! That is impressive!
@kevinrfletcher Nice job with 53 days! You are rocking it!
@MountainLaurel787 106!!! Fantastic!9 -
@FeelinFooFoo I am going to start looking through the AE book. Nice job on thinking about why you are craving and making a conscious decision to not turn to alcohol!9
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xMrBunglex wrote: »This is me 10 years ago. 40 yrs old, 240 lbs, drinking Beam Black & Diet every day.
This me last week, 50th birthday, 168 lbs, 7 years, 3 months, 22 days sober.
Wish I had sobered up 10 years earlier. My 30s were a complete waste of time.
Just amazing!! So inspiring!! What an accomplishment!! Happy Birthday and what a present to yourself!!5 -
audreypawdrey wrote: »@whitpauly Great job! That is impressive!
@kevinrfletcher Nice job with 53 days! You are rocking it!
@MountainLaurel787 106!!! Fantastic!
I second this !!5 -
kevinrfletcher wrote: »
Inspiring Kevin!! You are so doing it!!4 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Today has been a real ball breaker at work lol. I was fantasizing about buying wine and even using an ecig lol, but since I'm on day 4 of the AE I now know much more about cravings and how they work. Very interesting to be experiencing a craving now and being able to identify it's cause. I feel like a mad scientist 😂
Something really stood out to me yesterday what with all the deep thinking I'm doing. If I do this 30 days (basically a dry month) it will be longest ever without alcohol. No wonder I have engrained habits. I can't believe that a month without alcohol isn't the norm for me. Really put things into perspective for me. It's like I'v been asleep for a long time and just on auto pilot although to be fair I have had to deal with a lot in my life at times So I guess alcohol has just been my crutch. Time to make these changes now and I expect pain but also hopeful for a brighter future.
Nice job!! The cravings will eventually be more up and down. I have had short stretches where alcohol didn't call me much. Problems--take them one day at a time. When you look back most things are temporary here on this earth. Life goes way fast. Make the most of each day.6 -
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@xMrBunglex I know what you mean when you look back at "wasted" years. Yet, those years are what led you to where you are now because you obviously learned some valuable lessons during that time, so they weren't a complete waste AND you could still be wasting your time drinking, but you are living a fuller life because you decided to make some significant, consistent healthy decisions. What a great example you are for healthy living now!! Thank you for sharing your pics and story!
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Yes, some of the different meeting locations left me drinking after, but I found about 5 I felt like I fit in best with. Dove into following the entire program finally. Still working on step 4 for many months and a bit at a time. My sponsor says that it is amazing how well the program does not work, when you don't work it. I haven't been to a meeting in almost 2 mo.---so that would be slipping-- and am starting to miss what insights I can glean, the fellowship etc. I will get back there. I also want to try the Celebrate Recovery meeting I have recently found. They aren't just in my area. I will begin today with the phone AA meetings again. One meeting in person I really felt like I fit in with and I was told along the way by a phone meeting member to go early and stay after the meeting. I have had to make an effort with that, but it has been worth it. For me, I have found that it is way harder to do it on my own.4
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MaxInChicago wrote: »@lorrainequiche59’s post about “doing the work “ raises a question for me. Right now I don’t mind doing the work. I expect it to be work. It’s day 32, so very early in the game. But when, if ever, does it stop being work? Will there ever come a day when alcohol doesn’t cross my mind? I realize some people go to regular AA meetings years and years after they quit drinking. That sounds awful to me. Maybe someone with some years under your belt can chime in? Am I doomed to thinking about alcohol daily for life???
I've been AF for over 6 years. Before that I was drinking almost every day, and frequently to excess (I often was not able to hit the off switch). Now, most days alcohol doesn't cross my mind. And when it does, it's fleeting. So there is hope that you're not doomed to thinking about it everyday for life.
GOOD TO HEAR!!! NICE WORK!!! IMPRESSIVE!!!3 -
kevinrfletcher wrote: »@MountainLaurel787 106 days! Nice. You're exactly double me today... Day 53!
Fantastic to you two!!4 -
@whitpauly You are doing so great!! And you are so honest about your struggle as are others. That is one of the key ingredients on this thread...lack of BS!! Thank you for being here 5
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OK, one more word from Moi...ok, maybe a few more than one lol...aside from the number of days sober, by quit drinking app reminds me of the money saved and drinks passed. As of today, I've saved $1,921.00 and passed 1200.8 drinks. I wish I had literally saved that $$, but oh well...I didn't flush it down the toilet literally!! AND I did a conservative average of what I was actually drinking and spending because I didn't include entertaining in that mix.
ANYWAY, my liver has to be dancing for joy right now...
Hoping everyone has a great AF day 5
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