The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I'm watching the Kentucky Derby coverage. There sure is a lot of bourbon drinking going on. They all look so happy. I guess we won't be privy to the action going on in the later with people hurling all over those pretty dresses and hats.6
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@kcn2bluesky, So exciting!! I referenced Jan 2017 in an earlier post but it was “just” 2018, wasn’t it? That is so awesome that you totally reset and have maintained being AF for 16 months. I started working on that back then but am just now on day 36. It’s very encouraging to read your post about how positive the change has been for you. It gives me hope and motivation
When this school year ends in a few weeks I need to travel to Virginia to see my sister-in-law with whom I went to Italy last year. Since our trip she and her husband both quit their high-powered jobs and actually bought a winery! They’re working super hard and are so proud of their wines and the improvements they’ve made to what was already a pretty successful vineyard. It will be really weird to celebrate their new venture while declining to taste the wine. Maybe I can taste and spit it out like the pros do. Or maybe I just avoid a visit till my sea legs are steadier. This is a bizarre dilemma.9 -
@donimfp that would be rough if my sister had a winery! But you can show your enthusiasm and support and still decline to taste the wine if that is your desire. I am sure they will be understanding.7
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https://resources.facingaddiction.org/find-it/92630/celebrate-recovery-meeting-finder. Haven't tried a meeting yet, but plan to. Have company and will probably go this week when Sis goes home. Celebrate Recovery meetings are for people apparently with hurts to recover from, addictions etc. I was told that there is a meeting for men and women and then the women and men have their own groups afterwards. For those inclined the meetings are Christ centered.3
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@RubyRed427 hugs and love!!
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Happy Saturday everyone! Today was a good day, very busy, but good. I went for a 5.5 mile walk thanks to my husband's motivation even though we were both exhausted from a busy morning. And it re-energized me. Usually (before AF) I would 'reward' myself with wine. Today I squeezed in a 3 mile run with the last vestiges of daylight.. So all together, it was a 8.5 mile day! And now I'm relaxing with a mocktail- pineapple oj with strawberry-guava sparkling water.. pretty good13
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I've been suffering through a few weirdly anxious days, about something that is seriously improbable. I have not had a bout like this for some time.
Anyone else have a brain that sometimes will not turn off? How do you deal with it --- without alcohol?9 -
Ive been reading all of your posts and can relate to all of it. I got serious about quitting the beer in January. I had a few drinking days the first 2 months and luckily pulled it back together. So I'm going on 2 full months of no drinking at all. Its a whole different life. I didn't drink in my 20s and killed it in my 30s. Im mid 40s and enough is enough. I went to a party last night and beer wasnt even a concern. The old me would have needed 3 minimum just to get out the door. Congratulations to all on your journey.7
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@kcn2bluesky, So exciting!! I referenced Jan 2017 in an earlier post but it was “just” 2018, wasn’t it? That is so awesome that you totally reset and have maintained being AF for 16 months. I started working on that back then but am just now on day 36. It’s very encouraging to read your post about how positive the change has been for you. It gives me hope and motivation
When this school year ends in a few weeks I need to travel to Virginia to see my sister-in-law with whom I went to Italy last year. Since our trip she and her husband both quit their high-powered jobs and actually bought a winery! They’re working super hard and are so proud of their wines and the improvements they’ve made to what was already a pretty successful vineyard. It will be really weird to celebrate their new venture while declining to taste the wine. Maybe I can taste and spit it out like the pros do. Or maybe I just avoid a visit till my sea legs are steadier. This is a bizarre dilemma.
Thank you for your kind comment, @donimfp! I like how you phrased it as a "reset". Yes, that is what it is, isn't it? After decades of routinely drinking, I do feel reset. AF is my new normal! No one around me expects me to be drinking anymore, not even when we go out for lunch at our favorite micro-brew eateries, not even at holidays, and not even at parties and events. The pressure is off now, and I haven't stressed about new situations since Christmas.
Day 36 is awesome! You are past the horrid first 2 weeks, and you have a month's worth of AF weekends behind you
Hang in there! You're doing great! 
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SweatsOnSunday wrote: »I've been suffering through a few weirdly anxious days, about something that is seriously improbable. I have not had a bout like this for some time.
Anyone else have a brain that sometimes will not turn off? How do you deal with it --- without alcohol?
I always have "monkey mind" it will just not shut down sometimes and will go from topic to topic,I just try and distract myself with something else,walking, watching TV, cleaning,etc.Wishes for a super,sober Sunday for us all!5 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Day 7 and the more FACTS I'm learning about alcohol the more 🤢 I feel about drinking! Strange thing though, there is a part of me like, oh no! Think that must be fear and the part of me who is apprehensive. I have decided to do something that I have been wanting to for ages.
My bf bought us a wine rack a while back. I remember thinking to myself, what is that in aid of? He was always moaning at me about my drinking and saying that I drank too much. (I was completely deaf to any of those comments). In one of his less supportive comments at this time he said, we can't even fill the wine rack up with you around, it won't last. I would think to myself, why would I want to put myself through that torture? If someone has an issue eating too much, would you buy chocolate cakes and display them around the house? If someone gave up smoking would you hide packets of cigs around the place? Well. I have wanted to get rid of that stupid wine rack for ages! Especially now he filled it up with EMPTY wine bottles so that it looks normal. Sorry, this is far from normal 😂 I told him last night, the rack can go to his dad's, his dad loves his wine and I am buying a nice big rustic looking wicker basket that I can fill to the brim with lovely scented candles.
That idea is much better ! Here is said rack, *shudder*
A courageous and wise decision! Thanks for writing and for inspiring us "to have the courage to change the things we can"! 😊6 -
So many wonderful, inspiring comments this morning! Happy Sunday, everyone. @FeelinFooFoo, that's a nice looking wine rack but great decision to replace it with a basket of goodness.
@SweatsOnSunday (still love your name), I am so with you on the stressing about improbable things. I definitely used alcohol for that, but it really only delayed things and then made them worse. For myself, a good therapist during this time has been a godsend. For example, I had these totally irrational fears that my students were just going to overwhelm me. They are in lock-up and some of them have been quite violent, but after all, they ARE just teenagers and could almost be my grandchildren. When I stopped drinking, the panic got much worse. My therapist untangled the fact that the first thing I hear when I enter the building each morning is loud male yelling (boot camp guards yelling at the kids) and that what I woke up to most mornings of my childhood was a yelling dad. So, super trigger making me fear that if I mess up in any way all hell was going to break loose. Once she gifted me with that rational insight, the panic went away. MUCH better than deadening it with alcohol. Anyway, just a thought. If you really can't get to the bottom of the panic, therapy might be something to try. The other thing I've used is melatonin to help me sleep, but then I used to wake up with the panics at 3 a.m. Don't know if that's your case. Best wishes. I'm pulling for you!
Sorry this will be a long post. I'll shut up after this one (at least for today
Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death (yep, despite the yelling I loved him) and also the Kentucky Derby. Both things mean alcohol to me. So, being that it was day 36 and I have this thing licked now (ha!), I asked my husband to fix me a Bloody Mary. My reasoning was that maybe every 35 days I could have a drink. Can you believe how sneaky my mind is??? So, he fixed me one. I was watching the deliberations over whether the derby winner would be disqualified, and I raised the drink to my nose, sniffed the alcohol. Took probably a 1 teaspoon-sized sip. Put the glass down. Stared at it. Said to my husband, "Could you please pour this out and get me a glass of San Pellegrino. I just can't do this." So . . . today is Day 37. I figure I won't count the 1 drop of alcohol that was in that 1 tsp. sip. But wow! This is a fragile time.
One of my issues is that alcoholic drinks have a certain "heft" to them. It's hard to explain. Sometimes I feel a physical sense of emptiness that water or tea just won't fix. Closest I've found so far is coffee and V-8 juice for filling that need for a drink of "substance." Any other suggestions would be welcome. I've tried kombucha but I really don't like sweet things--thus the V-8.
Thanks for being here and again, have a wonderful Sunday. We're all blessed to be on this journey.8 -
This was in my local paper (The Washington Post) today.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/alcohol-is-everywhere-on-tinder-heres-how-non-drinkers-cope/2019/05/02/53157ae4-6c27-11e9-be3a-33217240a539_story.html?utm_term=.3a2143770fdf2 -
SweatsOnSunday wrote: »I've been suffering through a few weirdly anxious days, about something that is seriously improbable. I have not had a bout like this for some time.
Anyone else have a brain that sometimes will not turn off? How do you deal with it --- without alcohol?
Meditation and yoga. But especially meditation. “Insight timer” app for iPhone has fabulous guided meditations. Even if your mind drifts, it’s ok. You will build endurance.6 -
By the way, I read once we can become addicted to “thinking”.
Oh dear, another addiction..... 
Eckhart Tolle speaks on the addiction to negative thinking. His style isn’t for everyone, but even when I listen to him, I get calm and present.
https://youtu.be/j91ST2gtR44 8 -
@FeelinFooFoo Yes it IS a very cool wine rack, but I like your description of it as a "torture rack" When I committed to sobriety, I gave all my fridge magnets that glorified drinking, wine stoppers, signs, pics and other wine accessories to my wine-drinking friends. It was like a cleansing for me and a statement to myself that I am no longer a "wino"!! I did keep a wine cart that I bought expressly to have some shelves in the small space that I moved from and am keeping it because it is a nice piece of furniture, but I am planning on removing the rod iron wine holders and the other piece that holds wine glasses and then it will just be a useful piece. I truly think that your giving the wine holder to your Bf's father is a huge statement.
@Whitpauly "monkey mind" what a great description of those racing thoughts.
@RubyRed427 Thank you for sharing that video on addiction to negative thinking. I can SO relate to that & am very thankful that I am in the awareness phase, but it's interesting the people who it brought to mind who are not and who seem to revel in their unhappiness. Hopefully, they will have an awakening of some sort cause it is a miserable place to be. I thought he had some really interesting insights into negativity. I agree, I think he has a very calming manner. So cute him laughing at his own jokes. LOL4 -
I had a really good day today. A friend brought his power tools over & installed my bedroom blinds...YAY!! And I asked him to bring his family with him and I made some apps & dessert...then my daughter & grandson came for dinner.
My grandson recently made the Lacrosse team as their goalie & he brought a couple of sticks so we could play catch. As we were throwing the ball to each other, I thought that if I were drinking, this likely wouldn't be happening...at least I wouldn't be enjoying it terribly....I would have made a meager gesture to catch a "few" so I could get back to drinking a "few". I genuinely enjoyed my time with him and it was one more benefit of being AF! Having some real fun and truly engaging with him.
Hoping everyone has a great week. 8 -
Thanks @RubyRed for sharing the Tolle video. I adore him. I just finished listening to an old audiobook of his The Art of Presence. (I have taken to listening to helpful audiobooks while I'm cooking in the evenings instead of drinking wine. Keeps my mind busy and I learn something, too.)6
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I'm watching the Kentucky Derby coverage. There sure is a lot of bourbon drinking going on. They all look so happy. I guess we won't be privy to the action going on in the later with people hurling all over those pretty dresses and hats.
That reminds me of another thing I heard in the rooms.
Someone was talking about seeing people sitting on the patio at a restaurant on a summer day, drinking beer & laughing. She said she initially really missed that & had a pang of jealousy...but what you have to do is watch the movie to the end. And for her, the beers & laughing on the patio always ended in late night shots, blackouts & regrettable decisions.
When you're feeling weak & nostalgic, make sure you watch that movie to the end!
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