Things people say when you lose weight
Replies
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Oldest daughter to me at youngest daughter’s wedding last month, as I tried to take off a velvet jacket at an overly heated wedding dinner, “oh, Mom, you just want to show your shoulders off.”
Then she giggled. This coming from the daughter who was unreasonably angry when I first started losing weight. (She does not take change of any kind well. )23 -
Well, if you think you’ve gotten all the comments, read the ones that follow after this article:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7872087/Adele-boasted-fellow-vacationer-Anguilla-shes-lost-like-100-pounds.html#comments
This poor woman. No woman should be subjected to this. Or man, for that matter.
Adele, hats off to you, however you did it ( though may you discover better food to keep it off. MFP is incognito, honey! Come play!)6 -
To your face or behind your back, there might be a difference. ^^
Compliments will cease when the new wears off. People get used to seeing you and they go on about their business. There are the backhanded compliments but you can't those too personally.
You know how to tell the difference between a meaningful compliment and a phony one....you must take the "I" out of it. Compliments can easily go sideways into empty flattery. I love this and I love that... becomes all about the giver instead of the receiver. Listen carefully and you'll know who means it and who doesn't. Take the "I" out of it and put the "You" back into it when you compliment someone.7 -
springlering62 wrote: »Well, if you think you’ve gotten all the comments, read the ones that follow after this article:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7872087/Adele-boasted-fellow-vacationer-Anguilla-shes-lost-like-100-pounds.html#comments
This poor woman. No woman should be subjected to this. Or man, for that matter.
Adele, hats off to you, however you did it ( though may you discover better food to keep it off. MFP is incognito, honey! Come play!)
'banded', 'she looks like a 50 year old who has been on cigs and alcohol too long', 'easy when you're loaded', 'her face looked better before. Now she is sickly looking and has loads of loose skin'. Charming people commenting there!
My favourite comment though was how she actually lost 350lbs because of dumping her husband.5 -
Apparently people have been asking my GF if I have cancer because not only have I lost visually a lot of weight, I’m also blessed to be bald.
Not cancer, just running (a lot)and tracking food.
Currently (November 2019)
January 2019
Did you do the Dopey challenge??? Not sure I would have the stamina to do that!
I've only had one comment on this recent start to my weight loss. One of my running friends, who I hadn't seen in a couple months, said I was looking skinnier. Of course I was wearing running gear, which is much more tight fitting them my normal clothes- which are starting to get loose!12 -
It’s not just the comment itself but the WHERE it’s made. I’ve lost more than 70 pounds. “Oh my God, you’ve lost sooooo much weight” is kind of awkward to respond to by itself but when made in the middle of a super quiet small spa resulting in every single head turning to look at you and women peering around the corner to gawk is a whole other level!16
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"I was looking though some photos and I can't get over how much weight you've lost" "Are you retrospectively calling me fat?" "Yes"7
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fourtotwentychars wrote: »"I was looking though some photos and I can't get over how much weight you've lost" "Are you retrospectively calling me fat?" "Yes"
LOL. That's hilarious.
Share a video of the person being nice "Look how appropriate and polite you were! I knew you had it in you!"
🤣🤣9 -
Today...
One colleague squealed with glee getting other colleagues to look in my direction, "You're shrinking!!!"
My other colleague looked at me with hot jealously when she said that and said jokingly, "aw... get outta here... " (she loves me and very candid with each other so not trying to offend) Another colleague asked if it was because I was walking still (I usually walk once a week with another colleague to pray over our school)
Another colleague looked admiringly calling me, "Skinny!" I just raised a hallelujah and said thank you.10 -
sundaylouwho wrote: »I'm at the beginning of my journey and only down 4-5 lbs. The comment I received yesterday was:
"Don't lose too much. I can already see that you're thinner. You don't want to get too skinny."
I'm 5'2" and around 150 lbs (mostly fat). Ideally, I want to get closer to the high end of the healthy BMI stat OR shed some more fat and gain some muscle. Hearing that comment felt so negative! I feel really good about the little bit I have lost, but I still have some fat around the midsection that I'm working on losing.
I heard that before, and I asked them "why, are you jealous"? Added a laugh to take the sting out.
You are your only judge.
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Ugh, I feel this thread soooo much. The worst comments I got were from my husbands family. My family, coworkers and friends have always been super supporting. I’ve had the following comments from my husbands family (particularly his grandma):
1. “You look healthy”.....I’m currently 200+lbs and only 5”1’. Apparently she equates obesity with being healthy....
2. “Don’t lose too much, it’s not healthy” - again from his grandma. At the time I was 140lbs and still working on losing more.
3. “You should probably stop now” - ummm what makes you think this is your decision?8 -
"Oh, you lost so much weight! Good for you."
"Oh, you're pregnant? Well, say goodbye forever to that body you worked so hard for."
Ehhhh......no. I'm carefully gaining the appropriate amount of weight, and when I have this baby, I will carefully LOSE it.23 -
At a neighbor’s birthday party the other night, a neighbor introduced me to a new woman as,”This is (me). She’s lost so much weight, you wouldn’t ever believe it. How much weight have you lost? Tell her. We were all so amazed. It was a lot of weight. She used to be really big.”
And to further frost my goat, the woman I was introduced to was a nurse practitioner, who congratulated me several times over and started asking me personal questions because “her patients won’t lose weight”.
I know the neighbor means well and has a big heart but omg, someone needs to muzzle that woman once in a while. She just has no off switch. Talk about a buzz kill.23 -
springlering62 wrote: »And to further frost my goat,
Off topic: but this is my new favourite phrase!!
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brittanystebbins95 wrote: »"Oh, you lost so much weight! Good for you."
"Oh, you're pregnant? Well, say goodbye forever to that body you worked so hard for."
Ehhhh......no. I'm carefully gaining the appropriate amount of weight, and when I have this baby, I will carefully LOSE it.
You've got a double whammy, because somehow being pregnant makes your body public property...
I've had a couple 'Oh, you're so good,' or 'But it's easy for you.'
Meh on both counts. Anyone who looks at my diary will see that it's not good, and the fact that I'm in deficit not maintenance tells me it's not easy, but okay. Sure. If you say so.11 -
My grandmother has tactlessly harped on weight for years, so it doesn't phase me any more whenever she makes a comment; at least over Christmas all she did was ask if I was still losing.
The most recent irritation was from my dad, and his snarky, snide comment when I was weighing out a portion of apple salad: "Oh, you trying to lose weight again?" His tone was extremely rude and condescending, but I should expect it, I suppose. He is obese and has serious health problems including skeletal pain from a broken back years ago, and his doctor told him that losing 50 lbs would go a long way in relieving his pain. My father took offense to that and takes offense to any comment or actions related to weight. So even though I didn't say a single word to him and was only focused on my own weight, he apparently took my efforts on my on part as an attack on him, hence the snide comment. It was still hurtful, though. My initial reaction was to interpret his words as "haven't you given up on this yet? You've been trying and haven't gotten anywhere". The last couple of months have been a struggle to lose every pound, so his comment was jarring at first before I got my mental shields back up.
My mother is vaguely supportive, but she has her own moments of tactlessness. Such as any time someone makes a comment on how much weight I've lost, mom is always quick to jump in and say "oh, but you should see her brother - he's lost 200 lbs! You wouldn't know him!" as if my efforts to lose 100 lbs don't compare to his because he lost more, even though I'm doing it by diet alone and he had weight loss surgery, which is why he lost so much so much faster than I am. Moments like that just bring to mind that old song (with slightly different lyrics) "anything I can do my brother does better". But mom has unwittingly done that for a lifetime in all sort of areas, so while it does irritate me, I've grown used to it.55 -
Good things - The TSA agent checking ids at the airport said I looked much slimmer in person. I get nervous going through security (I fly very rarely) so I just said thank you lol.
Also, during my trip (a work trip) we ended up eating out for lunch two days in a row. I made a comment about needing to watch that, and got the "you're already a stick!" comment. When I told her I had lost 65 pounds, she was amazed, lol, and I think understood better that it wasn't "natural" for me.
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I had an interesting conversation with a close friend of mine last Friday night.
She's a trusted friend, level-headed. So, when I was well on my way through losing weight, it really rocked me when she said she thought I was under-eating, losing too fast, getting too thin, back a few years when my weight loss happened. At the point she started mentioning concern, I was still toward the upper end of the healthy BMI range, which is heavy for my personal build. I was also, at that point, eating 2000 calories or thereabouts most days, really not anorexia-worry territory for an average woman (she used that a-word eventually, though not until I got lower in the BMI range).
(She's not a resentful kind of person in general, really pretty generous and well-adjusted, factual more than emotional, usually - so I took her concern as sincere. And she'd expressed those concerns only when we were alone, in kind terms, not in front of others, or offensively.)
So, on Friday, in the course of conversation where it was relevant, I asked her about it (4 years or so after the fact).
She said she got worried when I got down around 117 (BMI 19.5), and I reminded her that I'd told her I overshot goal weight and was eating that 2000+ calories looking for the right maintenance calories plus a bit of regain at the time, and that she'd started expressing concern when I was still much heavier (140s-150s).
She kind of waffled, didn't really remember; said maybe she was just jealous, but laughed; agreed with me when I asked whether shock at the big change was part of the picture. She said that I look fine to her now, not really reaction-provoking.
I can't really convey that conversation, which was pretty nuanced.
I guess why I'm writing this is to suggest that if some of your questioning friends stay your friends, maybe give them some time to get used to the "new you", then ask what was behind the concerns. Could be interesting.32 -
I had an interesting conversation with a close friend of mine last Friday night.
She's a trusted friend, level-headed. So, when I was well on my way through losing weight, it really rocked me when she said she thought I was under-eating, losing too fast, getting too thin, back a few years when my weight loss happened. At the point she started mentioning concern, I was still toward the upper end of the healthy BMI range, which is heavy for my personal build. I was also, at that point, eating 2000 calories or thereabouts most days, really not anorexia-worry territory for an average woman (she used that a-word eventually, though not until I got lower in the BMI range).
(She's not a resentful kind of person in general, really pretty generous and well-adjusted, factual more than emotional, usually - so I took her concern as sincere. And she'd expressed those concerns only when we were alone, in kind terms, not in front of others, or offensively.)
So, on Friday, in the course of conversation where it was relevant, I asked her about it (4 years or so after the fact).
She said she got worried when I got down around 117 (BMI 19.5), and I reminded her that I'd told her I overshot goal weight and was eating that 2000+ calories looking for the right maintenance calories plus a bit of regain at the time, and that she'd started expressing concern when I was still much heavier (140s-150s).
She kind of waffled, didn't really remember; said maybe she was just jealous, but laughed; agreed with me when I asked whether shock at the big change was part of the picture. She said that I look fine to her now, not really reaction-provoking.
I can't really convey that conversation, which was pretty nuanced.
I guess why I'm writing this is to suggest that if some of your questioning friends stay your friends, maybe give them some time to get used to the "new you", then ask what was behind the concerns. Could be interesting.
My take on this for what it's worth. In my experience the vast majority of comments I received originated from kindness and love - even if they were a bit - 'you're losing too much/getting too thin etc (I'm far from too thin) I think you may be right that her concern was triggered by the 'sudden' shift in your weight shocking her a bit - the original reaction from a lot of my close friends was partly due to shock/surprise. Also, in my case at least, when I first lost weight my face did look drawn and a bit haggard - almost like my features had also gone into a state of shock. My body hadn't settled down either so I had saggy bits in some places (OK I'm 65 and still do a bit) and looked a bit dehydrated in others. Over time I am more comfortable with how I look, my face has regained some tone and a degree of plumpness (not overall weightgain) and my saggy/baggy bits are looking more toned and less lumpy. Perhaps she was just reacting to all that? In any case - her concerns were expressed in private and were motivated by friendship and kindness - someone good to have at your back I reckon Good job on your weightloss journey by the way. 9 -
"You eat dessert?"
Well, yes, not as often, and usually smaller portions, but heck yeah!
"What have you been doing? Keno?"
Nope, not Keno, or Bingo, or Keto 🙂. Just eating less calories than I use, mostly by portion control.17 -
Keno, the latest fad diet.tauntonmom wrote: »"You eat dessert?"
Well, yes, not as often, and usually smaller portions, but heck yeah!
"What have you been doing? Keno?"
Nope, not Keno, or Bingo, or Keto 🙂. Just eating less calories than I use, mostly by portion control. 9 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »
Keno, the latest fad diet.tauntonmom wrote: »"You eat dessert?"
Well, yes, not as often, and usually smaller portions, but heck yeah!
"What have you been doing? Keno?"
Nope, not Keno, or Bingo, or Keto 🙂. Just eating less calories than I use, mostly by portion control.
I had to google it because I straight up thought it was some new diet, lol.7 -
Them: "You don't need to lose weight! Why are you losing weight?" Me: "Doctor's orders. Diabetes." Them: *silence*19
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Student said I looked like I was in my twenties and my actual age is 44. Her mouth dropped to her chin and her eyes bugged out when I told her my age.12
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Worst one I got was "Disgusting" from my ex and a bunch of people on Facebook when she posted a pic of me. It sucked but it didn't deter me. I've kept up my lifestyle. Best advice I can give: Surround yourself with like-minded people.39
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keithahayes78 wrote: »Worst one I got was "Disgusting" from my ex and a bunch of people on Facebook when she posted a pic of me. It sucked but it didn't deter me. I've kept up my lifestyle. Best advice I can give: Surround yourself with like-minded people.
Wow, if someone would go to that length to shame you for doing better (???!!!) you may be well shed of her and that circle of friends.11 -
@RelCanonical is your new profile pic a K-Pop star, or a selfie?2
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springlering62 wrote: »@RelCanonical is your new profile pic a K-Pop star, or a selfie?
Kpop star! Seonghwa from Ateez.3 -
I’ve recently been told that I’m too obsessed with food and weight loss and not to lose too much more because it won’t suit me. I’m still 40lbs overweight! I have to be obsessed, my life matters.35
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RelCanonical wrote: »Good things - The TSA agent checking ids at the airport said I looked much slimmer in person. I get nervous going through security (I fly very rarely) so I just said thank you lol.
Also, during my trip (a work trip) we ended up eating out for lunch two days in a row. I made a comment about needing to watch that, and got the "you're already a stick!" comment. When I told her I had lost 65 pounds, she was amazed, lol, and I think understood better that it wasn't "natural" for me.
When I lost 80 lbs10+ years ago, I ended up paying for a new driver's license photo. TSA kept pulling me aside for "additional" security screening. I really looked nothing like my old photo so it was hard to blame them.16
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