Things people say when you lose weight
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One of my older friends told me to be careful because "when you lose too much weight, your wrinkles are more noticeable." So...heavy people don't have wrinkles??11
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One time I got changed in work to go straight to the gym, a colleague asked where I was going then said "you don't need to go, you're beautiful as you are." Having to explain to someone that my desire to be healthy and fit doesn't make me any more (or less) pretty.25
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@cugogirl2017 I don't let those comments grind me down. I've put in the work and research. My current doctor is so capable, smartest one running around out here in the sagebrush. He shoots straight from the lips. Looks you directly in the eyes and gives you the truth. He gave me 10 words that I use every single day to stoke my fire and passion. I don't share those with anyone. They're just too direct but not for me.
If you're going to make it waaaay down the road to long term weight stability you cannot be swayed by comments. You can't worry what people say or think about you or your dream weight. You can't worry about what they say about your clothes or horse tied to the hitching post.
Worrying about whether people like or dislike us for how we look or think will completely stunt your growth in every area. No one has to live in our body. Let your freedom ring.
Being too self-conscious of others thoughts and feelings becomes another self-induced prison. I'm not going out like that.
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MystikPixie wrote: »"Don't get too skinny!" I don't know why that irritates me.
I had someone say that to me today, which took me totally by surprise as while I have lost a 3rd of me I am still obese so am hardly wasting away before their eyes.
I just smiled and said "I have quite a way to go before I need to start worrying about that problem" and left it at that.
Yeah, that was when I finally got under 300, around 298lbs. Being "too skinny" is never going to be an issue because I'm not even trying for skinny, I'm trying for walking to the mailbox without being winded.24 -
Now maybe you'll get married. Ouch. Nice to know I was that unattractive.
Jokes on them, I'm losing weight FOR ME, and I AM NOT looking to get married. I don't like people enough to live with one.41 -
“Go and buy some clothes that fit. You look scruffy!” 😂13
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I am going to post this in the NSV thread too because it applies.
I started buying some technical t-shirts at the thrift store to play Ultimate and to go to the gym. They are quick-dry and don't get as heavy as cotton. I've been collecting them for a while, so I have quite a few now. If I find one in my size at the thrift store, if it's half of and I like the color at least a little and it still has life left, I'll bring it home. I usually try them on because you really can't always believe the label. I bought one not too long ago after the store opened back up from our stay-at-home order, and currently the fitting rooms are closed. Good call. I know I can take them home, let them sit a couple days, and then try them on safely. If they still have tags and don't fit, I can take 'em back.
Since I lost weight, I have been a little between sizes. I was shocked last year when I won a t-shirt in a raffle and it fit since it was size S. It's a little snug, but whatever. So I have been buying size small for workout clothes. It seems to wick better than having something baggy. So when I was at the thrift store a couple weeks ago I picked up a nice shirt in size small that I like the color. But it's not just size small, it's a FITTED size small. To be honest, it's a little too small for me, but again - whatever. I can wear it as an undershirt, and I've been using these as undershirts a fair bit.
Thanks for bearing with me. Now for the thing someone actually said....
So I was out getting some parts to tune up my lawn mower, and I stopped by the farm store for a 3 CuFt bundle of Douglas-fir sawdust for my blueberries. I was wearing this arguably too small shirt. I kind of started to cut in line in front of another customer that I didn't realize was in line because they have an odd queue. As soon as I realized what I did, I walked around and got six feet behind him. We exchanged niceties; I apologized for almost being a jerk. Anyway, he says, "That shirt makes you look good." I said it's a little small. He said, "No, it's actually a good look. Makes you look svelte." He actually said that. Me? Svelte? Um. I don't think so that's for sure, but wow. I think I gained a half inch in that moment27 -
OKbookwoman wrote: »One of my older friends told me to be careful because "when you lose too much weight, your wrinkles are more noticeable." So...heavy people don't have wrinkles??
Well they do tend to have a lot less. Plenty of people post on here about how much older/wrinklier they are when they lose weight. Inevitably they think it’s worth the trade off.
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It occurs to me that when people say "have you lost weight?" it could be fun to give them a blank look and go "nope." I probably won't ever try that because I'm so proud of the losses.15
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Just tell them you know where it is, so it's not lost.
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nighthawk584 wrote: »I haven't seen him since losing 95 lbs and don't plan on it unless by accident, but knowing him, he would have something very negative to say. Sometimes you just have to let people GO, family included. I do this for me this time, not anyone else and is a huge reason I think it will be forever now.
Ditto that.
My younger brother has extreme narcissism problems ... he has almost always ridiculed my battles with weight and found great mirth in passing negative comments at xmas & easter family gatherings.
One of my sisters and I (since we hated his nasty scrutiny) checked to see if he's RSVP-ed a 'yes' to an event ... then we planned an early exit or a completely alternate plan.
At 19 years of age my son was at a night-club in the city and was sure he'd seen his uncle enter a brothel across the road. To be sure, he waited out in the dark and confirmed it was, in fact, his uncle.
As his uncle (and the aunt he's married to) are pillars of church-assisted marriage guidance and a long term member of a quite extreme christian religion, my son was in extreme delight "having the goods" on him. He sought my counsel.
"Todd, keep it under your hat and choose to use it very judiciously," I told him. "Don't rush to tell on him to his wife or his church pastor but always be aware that EXPOSURE of his secret would be a huge social penalty."
Imagine the joy at a xmas lunch about four years later, when after some nasty chiding by my brother, my son finally reacted and said, "Uncle Paul, do you get some kind of cheap thrill playing god and telling us all our sins and mistakes? I have wished since I was 11 years old that I was not related to you."
"In fact, uncle Paul, a while back, I was out at THE CAVERN with some friends ... across the road from the brothel district and I saw a man who was your doppelgänger going into the BLACK CAT BROTHEL across the road and I thought how much I'd like to swap him for you. That man went in and out and, although he looked like you, he never insulted me like you do; he never made cheap shots at family members like you do. So why do you bother? Does playing god make you think your god likes you more."
It took Paul another few minutes but the penny dropped. Todd approached him quietly later and said. "I know about your grubby brothel secret and I have told Jerry, Katrina, dad and about a dozen of my friends that you have previously pissed off with your god-bothering 5h1t. So don't ever f**k with me again you hypocrite. The next person I tell will be my grandma ... your mother!"
Within a year, my brother packed up house and moved about 50km away. He rarely comes into our lives now. 13 years later, he's only come back to these two suburbs where the rest of his family lives and visits his mother (my mother) about 2pm-3pm once every six or seven weeks on a Thursday. No phone calls, no contact for the rest of us!
It has been quite lovely to not have to put with his negatives which we suffered for nigh on 40 years.18 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »@AnnPT77, 3rd parties really can't win.
Last weekend a lady from my church told me she was proud of me, and internally that comment annoyed me. Obviously this was a compliment and knowing her, she meant nothing but kindness. I'm still not sure what it was that put me off about that statement, but I'm a little annoyed at myself for being annoyed by it!
Sounds like someone who has been in your shoes and knows the dedication and determination that it takes to make such a positive change.9 -
I really hate any kind of weight loss comment. Usually it's just a vehicle for people to share their biases and I hate that. In the past I used to feel pressure to be nice to someone saying something vacuous as "you look healthy or you look good" but not anymore.
Unless you are a close friend, and know about my fitness goals and how often I train (we train together maybe) or you specifically know about any kind of unhealthy habits/foods that I made changes to, then you're just guessing and I really don't care anymore about those comments.
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I have only heard a few. "you look great", "Have you lost weight?", stuff like that. I guess I'm kind of looking forward to those kinds of comments in the future. We'll see won't we.9
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A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.
One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.14 -
A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.
One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.
You should try it one day. I mean you don’t want to disappoint them 😂14 -
I've heard the "I'm proud of you" comment from neighbors and acquaintances who have no need or right to take pride in anything I've done. BUT, , , I always assume it's a play on words. I presume they REALLY mean, "you should be proud of yourself" or just "you should be proud". That way I'm not so resentful.15
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My sister who lost weight in recent years often gets asked if she's ill. She's at a normal weight now but feels more insecure now than ever14
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A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.
One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.
You should try it one day. I mean you don’t want to disappoint them 😂
😂😂😂 this made me laugh.
What annoys me is when older ppl in the family ask me what I did to lose weight. The people who I KNOW wont plan to go to a gym or lift a weight because they dont want to “gain muscle”. The ones who eat like *kitten* or barely eat at all. The ones who barely cook at home.
Next time I will tell them it was magic.11
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