Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..
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Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»If ladies can say they like beards π...
Then what's wrong with a guy saying he prefers little to no makeup? π€·π½ββοΈ...
*ducks*
Okay, I'm gonna literally answer this one in as much detail as I can, because it matters.
If people are having a conversation about what they like in their preferred partners, or what they find attractive in general, in a conversation? There's not a problem with that. She likes men who wear eye liner, he likes women who don't wear makeup - not a problem either way.
If a person comes up to another person and says TO them, 'I like beards' vs. 'I prefer women with little to no makeup?' Then it depends on WHEN and TO WHO these words are said. And often, it's this part of thing that ends up with women angry.
I usually hear women say something like 'I like beards' to men WITH beards. Expressing something they like in a way that is also expressing their admiration to another person. It's pretty simple. Basically, 'you have a quality I find attractive.'
I usually hear men say something like 'I prefer women with little to no makeup' to women who do NOT have little to no makeup. Rather than an expression of admiration, then, it becomes, basically, 'you don't have a quality I find attractive, and you should change that.' And worse, the 'why' they should change that is...the guy prefers something and that...matters more than what the woman prefers?
It's rude and insulting, basically.
If guys come up to women who aren't wearing makeup and say they like that, some will take it as a compliment, or an expression of admiration. But...it can still be a problem.
For this reason: freaking history.
For centuries, men in our culture have quite literally been able to control every aspect of a woman's life. Heck, women were often unable to even have a bank account without their husband or father signing off on it. They couldn't get a house loan without a man signing off on it. And their makeup, their clothing, their jobs, their parenting - men got to have a say in it all, and their 'preferences' were what trumped the woman's own preferences about her body and her life.
This was not just centuries ago. This was decades ago. This was years ago. This is still going on NOW in many areas (I know an American woman whose doctor would not give her a hysterectomy without her husband signing something, and this was 2 YEARS ago, and it's not uncommon even). Most women you will meet today either lived with that, were raised by women who lived with that, or have grandmothers who lived with that.
And many men STILL act like male preferences are more important than a woman's when it comes to her body. One great current example is how often men in bars won't leave women alone until they say they have a boyfriend - because 'her' saying no wasn't worth listening to, but another man's 'claim' is respected.
So it's important to understand this history, and this current experience, of women having to deal with men acting like 'their' preferences matter more than the woman's. Every time it happens, it's like someone poking you with a pin, and it happens constantly.
Which means that when some guy comes around and starts talking about his 'preferences,' that feels like just another jab with a pin, for many women, and it makes them want to smack that guy in the face.
Sure, maybe he is trying to express admiration. But hopefully it would help him if he understood that the person he was speaking to has had a lot of similar comments that were, instead, passive aggressive ways of trying to get her to change to fit someone else's preferences. So he could maybe come up with something better to say.
Like, 'you look really nice today.'
Lol0 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»If ladies can say they like beards π...
Then what's wrong with a guy saying he prefers little to no makeup? π€·π½ββοΈ...
*ducks*
Okay, I'm gonna literally answer this one in as much detail as I can, because it matters.
If people are having a conversation about what they like in their preferred partners, or what they find attractive in general, in a conversation? There's not a problem with that. She likes men who wear eye liner, he likes women who don't wear makeup - not a problem either way.
If a person comes up to another person and says TO them, 'I like beards' vs. 'I prefer women with little to no makeup?' Then it depends on WHEN and TO WHO these words are said. And often, it's this part of thing that ends up with women angry.
I usually hear women say something like 'I like beards' to men WITH beards. Expressing something they like in a way that is also expressing their admiration to another person. It's pretty simple. Basically, 'you have a quality I find attractive.'
I usually hear men say something like 'I prefer women with little to no makeup' to women who do NOT have little to no makeup. Rather than an expression of admiration, then, it becomes, basically, 'you don't have a quality I find attractive, and you should change that.' And worse, the 'why' they should change that is...the guy prefers something and that...matters more than what the woman prefers?
It's rude and insulting, basically.
If guys come up to women who aren't wearing makeup and say they like that, some will take it as a compliment, or an expression of admiration. But...it can still be a problem.
For this reason: freaking history.
For centuries, men in our culture have quite literally been able to control every aspect of a woman's life. Heck, women were often unable to even have a bank account without their husband or father signing off on it. They couldn't get a house loan without a man signing off on it. And their makeup, their clothing, their jobs, their parenting - men got to have a say in it all, and their 'preferences' were what trumped the woman's own preferences about her body and her life.
This was not just centuries ago. This was decades ago. This was years ago. This is still going on NOW in many areas (I know an American woman whose doctor would not give her a hysterectomy without her husband signing something, and this was 2 YEARS ago, and it's not uncommon even). Most women you will meet today either lived with that, were raised by women who lived with that, or have grandmothers who lived with that.
And many men STILL act like male preferences are more important than a woman's when it comes to her body. One great current example is how often men in bars won't leave women alone until they say they have a boyfriend - because 'her' saying no wasn't worth listening to, but another man's 'claim' is respected.
So it's important to understand this history, and this current experience, of women having to deal with men acting like 'their' preferences matter more than the woman's. Every time it happens, it's like someone poking you with a pin, and it happens constantly.
Which means that when some guy comes around and starts talking about his 'preferences,' that feels like just another jab with a pin, for many women, and it makes them want to smack that guy in the face.
Sure, maybe he is trying to express admiration. But hopefully it would help him if he understood that the person he was speaking to has had a lot of similar comments that were, instead, passive aggressive ways of trying to get her to change to fit someone else's preferences. So he could maybe come up with something better to say.
Like, 'you look really nice today.'
Great Post.
What are you wearing?
.2 -
Motorsheen wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»If ladies can say they like beards π...
Then what's wrong with a guy saying he prefers little to no makeup? π€·π½ββοΈ...
*ducks*
Okay, I'm gonna literally answer this one in as much detail as I can, because it matters.
If people are having a conversation about what they like in their preferred partners, or what they find attractive in general, in a conversation? There's not a problem with that. She likes men who wear eye liner, he likes women who don't wear makeup - not a problem either way.
If a person comes up to another person and says TO them, 'I like beards' vs. 'I prefer women with little to no makeup?' Then it depends on WHEN and TO WHO these words are said. And often, it's this part of thing that ends up with women angry.
I usually hear women say something like 'I like beards' to men WITH beards. Expressing something they like in a way that is also expressing their admiration to another person. It's pretty simple. Basically, 'you have a quality I find attractive.'
I usually hear men say something like 'I prefer women with little to no makeup' to women who do NOT have little to no makeup. Rather than an expression of admiration, then, it becomes, basically, 'you don't have a quality I find attractive, and you should change that.' And worse, the 'why' they should change that is...the guy prefers something and that...matters more than what the woman prefers?
It's rude and insulting, basically.
If guys come up to women who aren't wearing makeup and say they like that, some will take it as a compliment, or an expression of admiration. But...it can still be a problem.
For this reason: freaking history.
For centuries, men in our culture have quite literally been able to control every aspect of a woman's life. Heck, women were often unable to even have a bank account without their husband or father signing off on it. They couldn't get a house loan without a man signing off on it. And their makeup, their clothing, their jobs, their parenting - men got to have a say in it all, and their 'preferences' were what trumped the woman's own preferences about her body and her life.
This was not just centuries ago. This was decades ago. This was years ago. This is still going on NOW in many areas (I know an American woman whose doctor would not give her a hysterectomy without her husband signing something, and this was 2 YEARS ago, and it's not uncommon even). Most women you will meet today either lived with that, were raised by women who lived with that, or have grandmothers who lived with that.
And many men STILL act like male preferences are more important than a woman's when it comes to her body. One great current example is how often men in bars won't leave women alone until they say they have a boyfriend - because 'her' saying no wasn't worth listening to, but another man's 'claim' is respected.
So it's important to understand this history, and this current experience, of women having to deal with men acting like 'their' preferences matter more than the woman's. Every time it happens, it's like someone poking you with a pin, and it happens constantly.
Which means that when some guy comes around and starts talking about his 'preferences,' that feels like just another jab with a pin, for many women, and it makes them want to smack that guy in the face.
Sure, maybe he is trying to express admiration. But hopefully it would help him if he understood that the person he was speaking to has had a lot of similar comments that were, instead, passive aggressive ways of trying to get her to change to fit someone else's preferences. So he could maybe come up with something better to say.
Like, 'you look really nice today.'
Great Post.
What are you wearing?
.
Chanel # 5... perhaps?0 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»MiNinaLisa wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Everyone needs to freaking chill alright ππ½ββοΈ... π
For tmfr... I never said one should be forced on the other, I don't think any look should be forced on anyone...
But let's just face it and say it... Beards are trending right now...
I just wonder how many less "beards" post I would see in the Weaknesses thread if it wasn't the popular trending "in" thing right now...
No makeup however is different... π€·π½ββοΈ
That's all I'm saying π€·π½ββοΈ......... π
https://youtu.be/7mfkl_Ny74U
I feel like everyone is calm except you dude. Calm the *kitten* down. Aight?Miss_Chiev0us wrote: Β»
π... Come on don't hate me, I love you guys π
I'm just *kitten* with you... Blame it on the alcohol and I'll be back to quoting Rod Stewart tomorrow π...
or you can vocaroo karaoke to this right now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hphwfq1wLJs
Haha... It would be a sad dissapointment...
I'll stick with what I'm okay at and singing is not it π...
this is BETTER!2 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»If ladies can say they like beards π...
Then what's wrong with a guy saying he prefers little to no makeup? π€·π½ββοΈ...
*ducks*
Okay, I'm gonna literally answer this one in as much detail as I can, because it matters.
If people are having a conversation about what they like in their preferred partners, or what they find attractive in general, in a conversation? There's not a problem with that. She likes men who wear eye liner, he likes women who don't wear makeup - not a problem either way.
If a person comes up to another person and says TO them, 'I like beards' vs. 'I prefer women with little to no makeup?' Then it depends on WHEN and TO WHO these words are said. And often, it's this part of thing that ends up with women angry.
I usually hear women say something like 'I like beards' to men WITH beards. Expressing something they like in a way that is also expressing their admiration to another person. It's pretty simple. Basically, 'you have a quality I find attractive.'
I usually hear men say something like 'I prefer women with little to no makeup' to women who do NOT have little to no makeup. Rather than an expression of admiration, then, it becomes, basically, 'you don't have a quality I find attractive, and you should change that.' And worse, the 'why' they should change that is...the guy prefers something and that...matters more than what the woman prefers?
It's rude and insulting, basically.
If guys come up to women who aren't wearing makeup and say they like that, some will take it as a compliment, or an expression of admiration. But...it can still be a problem.
For this reason: freaking history.
For centuries, men in our culture have quite literally been able to control every aspect of a woman's life. Heck, women were often unable to even have a bank account without their husband or father signing off on it. They couldn't get a house loan without a man signing off on it. And their makeup, their clothing, their jobs, their parenting - men got to have a say in it all, and their 'preferences' were what trumped the woman's own preferences about her body and her life.
This was not just centuries ago. This was decades ago. This was years ago. This is still going on NOW in many areas (I know an American woman whose doctor would not give her a hysterectomy without her husband signing something, and this was 2 YEARS ago, and it's not uncommon even). Most women you will meet today either lived with that, were raised by women who lived with that, or have grandmothers who lived with that.
And many men STILL act like male preferences are more important than a woman's when it comes to her body. One great current example is how often men in bars won't leave women alone until they say they have a boyfriend - because 'her' saying no wasn't worth listening to, but another man's 'claim' is respected.
So it's important to understand this history, and this current experience, of women having to deal with men acting like 'their' preferences matter more than the woman's. Every time it happens, it's like someone poking you with a pin, and it happens constantly.
Which means that when some guy comes around and starts talking about his 'preferences,' that feels like just another jab with a pin, for many women, and it makes them want to smack that guy in the face.
Sure, maybe he is trying to express admiration. But hopefully it would help him if he understood that the person he was speaking to has had a lot of similar comments that were, instead, passive aggressive ways of trying to get her to change to fit someone else's preferences. So he could maybe come up with something better to say.
Like, 'you look really nice today.'
Hey in all seriousness though...
I completely agree with your sentiments, always have π
It wasn't a serious question... Tongue and cheek...
I was just poking some fun at some people here I have a fondness and admiration for...
I'm not a monster π3 -
MiNinaLisa wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»MiNinaLisa wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Everyone needs to freaking chill alright ππ½ββοΈ... π
For tmfr... I never said one should be forced on the other, I don't think any look should be forced on anyone...
But let's just face it and say it... Beards are trending right now...
I just wonder how many less "beards" post I would see in the Weaknesses thread if it wasn't the popular trending "in" thing right now...
No makeup however is different... π€·π½ββοΈ
That's all I'm saying π€·π½ββοΈ......... π
https://youtu.be/7mfkl_Ny74U
I feel like everyone is calm except you dude. Calm the *kitten* down. Aight?Miss_Chiev0us wrote: Β»
π... Come on don't hate me, I love you guys π
I'm just *kitten* with you... Blame it on the alcohol and I'll be back to quoting Rod Stewart tomorrow π...
or you can vocaroo karaoke to this right now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hphwfq1wLJs
Haha... It would be a sad dissapointment...
I'll stick with what I'm okay at and singing is not it π...
this is BETTER!
π1 -
GettinLean19 wrote: Β»I wanna know what guys really think about high-waisted jeans1
-
Who would you rather be?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes...
Who would you rather date?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes... π¬1 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Who would you rather be?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes...
Who would you rather date?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes... π¬
Sherlock
&
Bond π€ͺ (only if it was Daniel Craig)0 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Who would you rather be?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes...
Who would you rather date?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes... π¬
Well done @Mr_Healthy_Habits take the question to masses. Itβs what we need to solve this mystery!
I still think Iβd rather BE Holmes, but Iβd rather date Bond. Tbh I think either would be a lousy long term boyfriend. For some good fun though, Bond all the way!1 -
to date? Bond - Idris Alba style 100 percent2
-
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Who would you rather be?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes...
Who would you rather date?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes... π¬
RDJ.
The end.3 -
_DisasterDoll_ wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Who would you rather be?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes...
Who would you rather date?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes... π¬
RDJ.
The end.
haha that lip-biting gif of his was pretty popular in here back in the day1 -
_DisasterDoll_ wrote: Β»Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Who would you rather be?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes...
Who would you rather date?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes... π¬
RDJ.
The end.
So he IS an attractive guy..
Good to know...
A friend of mine once said I reminded her of him...
I was honestly half way insulted π...1 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Who would you rather be?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes...
Who would you rather date?
Bond or Sherlock Holmes... π¬
Well done @Mr_Healthy_Habits take the question to masses. Itβs what we need to solve this mystery!
I still think Iβd rather BE Holmes, but Iβd rather date Bond. Tbh I think either would be a lousy long term boyfriend. For some good fun though, Bond all the way!
With a gun to my head I'm going Bond... Holmes would just be too much of a curse at times π...
Which female version to date... π¬
I think I'd just let them pull the trigger... I mean, you're *kitten* either way π€·π½ββοΈ... π0 -
Bond drives an Aston Martin.
Holmes hangs out with some guy named Watson.
This is really a question?0 -
I mean I guess it depends which Bond we are referring to. That could complicate things.1
-
Bond dates beautiful women and wears an Omega watch.
Holmes wears an old top hat and writes with a feather.
Bond hangs out in Monaco.
Holmes eats kidney pie.4 -
Motorsheen wrote: Β»Bond drives an Aston Martin.
Holmes hangs out with some guy named Watson.
This is really a question?Motorsheen wrote: Β»Bond dates beautiful women and wears an Omega watch.
Holmes wears an old top hat and writes with a feather.
Bond hangs out in Monaco.
Holmes eats kidney pie.
It's a nerd thing π€...2 -
Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: Β»Motorsheen wrote: Β»Bond drives an Aston Martin.
Holmes hangs out with some guy named Watson.
This is really a question?Motorsheen wrote: Β»Bond dates beautiful women and wears an Omega watch.
Holmes wears an old top hat and writes with a feather.
Bond hangs out in Monaco.
Holmes eats kidney pie.
It's a nerd thing π€...
Evidently
* shrug1
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