The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@mainelylisa Slowly, my desire for alcohol is fading. It's nearly three months AF for me. Lately, the thought of taking a drink turns my stomach. I have had so many negative experiences drinking physically and mentally that it has become undesirable in my mind.
Much like when you have an allergic reaction to a food, you are scared and scarred to eat it. That's how I am feeling today.
You will have much more energy and time to revamp your life. You will have time to try new things and it will probably reinvigorate your photography and writing.4 -
@mainelylisa I also suffer from blackouts when drinking. My husband and I would watch a show and I would have to watch the entire episode again, not remembering one bit of it. And that's the tame stuff. Plenty of times I would wake up and he was in the guest room, furious at me for something I said or did, and I not having the slightest idea of what it was. Drinking was becoming a real threat to my relationship with my daughters as well. It just SO not worth it. If you have not done so, I urge you to do the free 30 day The Alcohol Experiment online. It is great.
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@FeelinFooFoo , Hooray for you!!!! Wow, your sober days are really adding up fast. I'm sure faster for us onlookers than for you! The tattoo is a great idea. I have a bracelet I bought with the date of my 100th day in Roman numerals. It's sort of my little secret symbol, and I see it every day. Today is actually day 150. I hadn't even realized that until just now. Cool!!
@mainelylisa, we are all rooting for you. As far as "normal drinkers," I don't want to throw cold water on anyone else's plans, but during my 6-week Sober School course with Kate Bee, during our last week she mentioned that we had fulfilled our 6-week commitment and were of course free to go back to drinking if we wanted to. However, she did warn us that we should understand we would be going back to where we started--not to some magical Moderation Land. It really hit me that she said in her 7 years of coaching, neither she nor any of the other coaches she knows has ever once encountered anyone who came into the program with a drinking problem and then was able to successfully become a moderate (aka "normal") drinker. As Ruby says, the pickle isn't gonna change back into a cucumber. I know some people will fight and disagree with that notion. But in my observation, those who have struggled with drinking too much on a regular basis and then attempt to moderate (including myself many times), are in for an exhausting ride of counting, planning, obsessing, and ultimately ending right back at yet another Day One, hoping that it "works this time."
I wish that Unicorn Moderate Drinker Who Formerly was a Problem Drinker existed. I'd love to be that unicorn. But I've come to the realization that this is a fantasy that will never be a reality. Certainly not for me. Hang in there. You can do this. And it is nice on this end of the pool!9 -
@JenT304 that just sounds like me!
I was a bit scared to log on here as I am ashamed to say I gave in and I think realistically I will start in January but that doesnt mean between now and then I am going to aim to have more AF free days and build up slowly. I have downloaded the 30 day Alcohol experiment so i will be ready to go and i am getting me a diary to log progress.7 -
@annliz23 There is no place or reason for shame. We are here to better ourselves. And are human. I, too, tend to isolate after I've been "bad," but I think that's when we need to share and garner support and encouragement.6
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mainelylisa wrote: »@annliz23 There is no place or reason for shame. We are here to better ourselves. And are human. I, too, tend to isolate after I've been "bad," but I think that's when we need to share and garner support and encouragement.
Thanks!4 -
@annliz23 I figure it's taken years for us to become avid drinkers, so it may take some time to taper off and maybe even quit. So, no worries for giving in. It happens. And it also helps gives us more perspective. After all, we grow from adversity as the saying goes.
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@RubyRed427 Did you read about the brain pickling in the Blackout book or somewhere else? I'm fascinated with the physiology related to drinking (and quitting!) I had heard most cannot go back to moderating, but never heard any physiological association.
On a related note, I will def try the 30 day experiment (listen to a podcast by Annie last night).3 -
mainelylisa wrote: »@RubyRed427 Did you read about the brain pickling in the Blackout book or somewhere else? I'm fascinated with the physiology related to drinking (and quitting!) I had heard most cannot go back to moderating, but never heard any physiological association.
The cucumber pickle analogy is an expression probably from AA... once you become an alcoholic you could never go back to being a moderate drinker.
The black out book I was referring to is not worth buying, because it had a lot of examples of the horrible things people have done while black out, Which we really do know can happen.
I stumbled upon a book Title however thats I read a few years ago: Here is a review of the book
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-ca-jc-sarah-hepola-20150621-story.html?_amp=true
I also read a good book called Drinking: a love story.
I love learning about the psychology in the brain chemistry behind drinking. I find a lot of good articles on psychologytoday.com2 -
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Congrats to everyone for having the courage to put themselves out there, it's been awhile since I've been on the forum and I continue to encouraged by everyone. The AF Beer worked for me for time but after awhile, the extra calories weren't worth it, huh....how many calories in those (6) IPA's sport ?
Whatever works for you the way I look at it. How I went from being a casual drinker to an average of 25 drinks a week still escapes me, but as time goes on, it really doesn't matter. Kind of an interesting life cycle...booze first made life better, then booze became life, and now life is 100% better without it. 9 -
@FeelinFooFoo, I think AA in general tends to discourage AF substitutes. But for me, they've been a lifesaver. Not because I pretend they are alcoholic drinks, but mainly because I don't have a sweet tooth at all, so all those sweet substitute "mocktails" just don't appeal to me. I get sick of nothing but sparkly water, though. So an AF beer (not sweet) or the Curious Elixirs (not sweet) are really great. I also love V-8 juice. None of these trigger me in any way, but I am more than happy to acknowledge that everyone is different. I'd hate for anyone to come down in an absolute yes or no way on the AF substitute question. Those drinks just happen to give me the non-water, non-sweet options I appreciate.5
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Regarding NA beers, I have a Heineken 00 once in awhile; it has 67 calories, I think. Since I rarely drank beer, it does not trigger me. But I could see if you were a heavy beer drinker, that might be a slippery slope. To each his own.
Some people don't recommend having food that contained alcohol like beer batter shrimp or cooking with wine even though it cooks off. Like you are all saying, people need to decide for themselves. We have that little voice in our head that knows what we're doing or the motive behind it.
I think the reason I have a Heineken 00 is because I want a treat that is different. I am tired of seltzer, Perrier and water, and I don't like drinking pop. I'll probably getting tired of the NA beer and find something else.
@no44s4me I like your attitude that life is 100 percent better without alcohol.5 -
@annliz23 I do love the poem. I love the last line especially.4
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AF night but only slept 2 hours so feel worse this morning lol!4
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Well worth 6 minutes of your time.
https://thesoberschool.com/the-power-of-gratitude-and-how-it-affects-your-sobriety/5 -
Well worth 6 minutes of your time.
https://thesoberschool.com/the-power-of-gratitude-and-how-it-affects-your-sobriety/
I agree. This is worth watching. I just ordered a journal from Amazon.3 -
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I was telling Jen that I found some journal entries I made on the nomo app in 2018. It was Around my birthday, so you can imagine I was drinking and binging. The entries were eye opening. The description of the hangover, and how I disappointed my daughter because I was to sick to do anything with her, and the driving I did after 7 cocktails. How ashamed I felt.
I guess journaling and writing down both good and bad experiences have lots of value when you reread them. I was feeling like I am losing out by being sober, but these journal entries set me straight. I am blessed to be sober.7 -
@RubyRed427, I agree! Since July 6 my daily journal has been a valuable resource. As you say, reading back through can give you insight and motivation. I’ve seen that 100% of the days after my strongest temptations I write about how happy I am I didn’t yield.
Given that my sober journey and journal have occurred during a pandemic, social upheaval, and a surreal election, I think maybe one day my granddaughters might find the entries interesting and maybe even inspiring if they should need that.6 -
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One day at a time adds up.10
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Hooray @RubyRed427!! 3 months is huge! It is kind of crazy how the time seems to quickly add up (Although for some reason @FeelinFooFoo's days seem to go faster than mine
) That is something to really celebrate.
I had the honor of being asked by Kate Bee to film a short video about what her class has done for me. She would use it on her blog with the other short testimonials to encourage new students. At first I said yes and was very flattered. But then I decided I would not mind "outing" myself with name and pictures among this group or her Sober School class group, but having it out there for any "passerby" to check out is probably not the wisest thing for me. The Internet is forever, as we all know. So I'm going to email her and decline. But anyway . . . just being asked to be an example of a "success story" was mind-blowing to me. Five months tomorrow, but I realize that is WAYYY early days. Another reason I feel it's too soon to put myself out there as any kind of example.
@FeelinFooFoo, I'm a fellow anxiety sufferer. I don't know about you, but for me, I have to keep reminding myself that even people who aren't prone to it are experiencing anxiety during this crazy pandemic. So let's ride it out with plenty of rest and self-care. I ordered a bunch of sheet masks and created a Friday night ritual of spa-like pampering with yummy AF beverages. Things like that help a lot.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.7 -
Hooray @RubyRed427!! 3 months is huge! It is kind of crazy how the time seems to quickly add up (Although for some reason @FeelinFooFoo's days seem to go faster than mine ) That is something to really celebrate.
I had the honor of being asked by Kate Bee to film a short video about what her class has done for me. She would use it on her blog with the other short testimonials to encourage new students. At first I said yes and was very flattered. But then I decided I would not mind "outing" myself with name and pictures among this group or her Sober School class group, but having it out there for any "passerby" to check out is probably not the wisest thing for me. The Internet is forever, as we all know. So I'm going to email her and decline. But anyway . . . just being asked to be an example of a "success story" was mind-blowing to me. Five months tomorrow, but I realize that is WAYYY early days. Another reason I feel it's too soon to put myself out there as any kind of example.
Wow! That is an honor! I am so happy for you! Yes, perhaps, being outed as a problem drinker may not be a good thing. I never thought of that. But you are a success story!! Keep it up!4 -
I created a "group" in the community forum under challenges. I have let my weight gain creep up over the last 1.5 years and gained all that I lost.
If anyone wants to join me, it's called "30 pounds to lose challenge by March 2021".
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@donimfp I agree when you said it seems Foo Foo's daily count adds up much quicker than mine!
Also, @FeelinFooFoo I would guess that a lot of problem drinkers have anxiety. I once read they did a study on that. Is it possible for your doctor to prescribe a script you can take as needed only on the days when you are crawling out of your skin.
I take a half of Lorizapam once in a while when I just can't take it anymore and feel so anxious. Doctor gave me only 30 pills so I ration them and only use when essential.5 -
Just stopping in to say hi. Everyone is doing great! Ive been reading just nothing to really add. Except today marks a year and 8 months. Thats a mind blower. My husband is cranking on 3 months now. Hes relishing on the thought of beer tho. I dont know really wether he'll pick it back up for sure or not. My boss is a hot mess. Hungover more often than not. Going home early. I wonder if he'll ever be fed up enough to put it down. My past is my business I dont share with anyone at work. But I certainly feel for him. I can def relate. The anxiety I used to get was awful.
Peace and blessings to you all.10 -
@RubyRed I will be joining that forum! Thank you!1
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@donimfp I understand about not putting yourself out there, but I challenge you on the wayyyy too early--you've done fabulously and you still are. Now is all we have and you're rocking it (as are many on this thread--woot!)
Got to my cabin today and there is beer and wine everywhere. (But so is there at home.) Wanted a drink. If I weren't taking a break (who knows how long--maybe forever), I would have had one immediately. I know in my head no good would come of it. Brain cell killer and thigh fat maker. :-)
Brought my NA beer. PBR NA. Don't laugh. I think I like it better than Heineken AF.
I think the whole first world country is full of anxiety because of our "advancements." Lucky for me, one of the advantages that comes with age is not giving so many *kittens* which greatly reduces anxiety. (Of course when I'm drinking, that's a different story.) I've had sleep issues ever since menopause and finally turned to medical edibles for relief. Work well. No hangover. Deep sleep. Delivery faster than a pizza. BTW, @FeelinFooFoo I had bizarre dreams last night where I had to keep remembering I'm not drinking. I heard the tiny over-the-counter blue pills (which I had been taking) are not good for the brain. Of course, I usually washed them down with Chard. Also not good for the brain.8
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